Pinkie and Penumbra had a lot to do once they got back to their hotel room. Their first task was to finish their homework; as it happened, this was the easiest task set before them. Second, they had to go over the surprisingly detailed data that Discord had managed to scour from this “internet” thing that was apparently so ubiquitous that none of the humans found it remarkable. It was a fairly tedious statistical analysis made only somewhat more bearable by the natural intelligence of Pinkie and Penumbra and the fact that Discord was having too much fun introducing controversial topics into otherwise unrelated discussions on various internet forums to bother them (at the moment, he was stumping for veganism in a thread devoted to kinky sex).
This was particularly fortunate, because Pinkie was doing a pretty good job of distracting herself without Discord’s assistance. “This has to be part of Sunset Shimmer’s evil plan. She’s definitely responsible for all our friends not being friends anymore. It’s the only logical explanation!”
Penumbra sighed and looked up from her equations. “Actually, Pinkie, there’s a perfectly logical explanation that you’re overlooking.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“You say our friends aren’t friends ‘anymore,’ but aside from Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, we don’t have any reason to believe that they were ever friends in the first place. Sunset Shimmer wouldn’t need to wreck friendships that have never existed, would she?”
“But... we’re the Element-bearers. It... it’s destiny!”
“From what you and Twilight have told me, it sounds like your destinies were entwined after Rainbow Dash performed her first Sonic Rainboom. But this world’s Rainbow Dash can’t use pegasus magic at all. No Rainboom; no cutie marks; no destiny.”
“But their personalities aren’t all that different. Why wouldn’t they have come together naturally?”
Penumbra thought about this for a few seconds before she answered: “My best guess? You don’t exist over here... or if you do, you’re still a figment of Twilight Sparkle’s imagination. After all, the only thing we know for sure about how beings like us become real is that massive amounts of magic are always required, and humans don’t have that. Without someone like you to provide the kinds of events where different kinds of people can regularly get together and socialize, why would any of them spend time with each other?”
“Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash used to,” Pinkie insisted.
“Yes... but is it really that unusual for friends to drift apart?”
Pinkie groaned, mostly because she knew that Penumbra had a point. “But that still doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to get them together while we’re here.”
“Well, that’s obvious,” Discord said as he looked up from his laptop screen.
Penumbra nodded. “I’m glad we’re all on the same page.”
Pinkie looked stunned. “You’re not going to try to argue that we should be focusing on getting the Element of Magic back?”
“Of course not,” Penumbra said. “When you’re dealing with one of the Elements of Harmony, you’d be a fool not to try and harness the magic of friendship.”
“You always want to have multiple plans running at the same time,” Discord said. “That’s basic Villainy 101 right there.”
“We aren’t the villains here,” Pinkie said, punctuating her statement with a mild glare.
“From Sunset Shimmer’s point of view, we are,” Discord countered. “Look, the point is that getting the human counterparts of your friends together can’t hurt; it just sounds really difficult at the moment.” He set down his laptop on a nightstand and turned towards his alleged daughters. “So, have you gleaned any nuggets of wisdom from all that data I collected?”
“That depends on whether we’ve done our math correctly,” Penumbra said, “but if we’re right, then it seems that the magical situation over here isn’t quite what we thought it was.”
Discord leaned forward, looking genuinely interested as he requested a further explanation. “How so?”
“We thought the lack of magic in this world would make it super-sensitive,” Pinkie said as she pointed to a particular cluster of numbers, “but if this chunk of data right here is really from yesterday...”
“The librarian assured me that it was,” Discord confirmed.
“...then it seems that just the opposite is true,” Pinkie said. “In the short term, weather is still fairly predictable, like it should be if there’s no magic to interfere, and over a few years, it’s not showing regular patterns, which is also like it should be if there isn’t any magic. But we know that Sunset Shimmer has used magic at least once in this world because she reopened the portal to steal the Element, and in all likelihood she’s tried it more often than that. Something about this world... well, the best guess I can come up with is that it absorbs magic like a sponge. Either that, or Sunset Shimmer figured out how to fix any problems she made so that it looks like there weren’t any in the first place, but I really, really don’t think that second one is likely.”
“So... what does that mean?” Discord asked.
“It probably means that magic exists, but it’s horribly inefficient in this world,” Penumbra said. “Particularly since humans seem to lack any body parts that can be used as effective channels, like horns. If that’s the case, then Sunset Shimmer likely can’t use her natural magic stores for very long without exhausting them, because most of it will diffuse into the ether before it can have a noticeable effect.”
Pinkie nodded. “Did you have any problems when you made those gems?”
“Well, it took a bit more effort than I expected,” Discord said, “but that kind of spell isn’t my usual thing, so I didn’t give it much thought. I certainly didn’t feel like I’d been drained. But then again, part of my gig is not following the rules.”
“In any case, it certainly looks like this world is far more resilient than we initially thought, which is probably a good thing, since it means we can use magic as a last resort,” Penumbra said. She leaned back against her chair and sighed. “I suppose that means there’s one problem we still need to deal with.”
“Figuring out the best campaign message to get me elected Princess?” Pinkie asked.
“Okay, so there’s two problems,” Penumbra said. “But I think you can get us three-quarters of the way to that solution with by doing your usual, extroverted thing. On the other hand, we still have no idea where this world’s Twilight Sparkle is.”
A series of rapid tapping noises issued from Discord’s general direction. “Found her,” he announced as he looked up from his laptop. When this garnered little more than a pair of astonished stares, he explained further: “She has a blog, so when I searched for her name on the internet, it didn’t take me long to narrow the results down to a purple teenager who’s probably too smart for her own good. In any case, from what I can tell after a cursory glance over her more recent posts, the reason you didn’t find her in high school is because she’s already graduated.”
“That’s strange...” Penumbra said. “I didn’t expect this Twilight to be significantly older than the others.”
“She isn’t,” Discord said. “I just said she was a teenager, didn’t I? Just like our own little goody-four-shoes, this Twilight is a prodigy, and she graduated from high school two years ago at the tender age of fourteen. She’s already attending college. Luckily for us, it appears that it’s also in this town.”
“Okay,” Pinkie said. “Well, that’s definitely a start. Maybe you can check it out while we’re at school tomorrow.” She paused and waited for whatever snarky remark Discord had prepared for his new assignment, but it never came. “Discord? Did you hear...” Pinkie’s voice trailed off as she got a look at Discord’s face, which had been warped and deformed by the widest, most gleeful grin she’d ever seen on his face. “What are you smiling about?”
“Guess what Twilight’s studying,” Discord said, barely able to contain his obvious jubilation. “Go on, guess.”
“Um... botany?”
“Nope!” Discord said exultantly. “Our dear little Twilight is studying chaos theory!”
———————
Twilight Sparkle walked along the sidewalk, absorbed in her own thoughts. In itself, this wasn’t unusual; most evenings, she would have caught a ride home with her older brother (who was, conveniently enough, also a sophomore at Canterlot Tech), but tonight, he was busy with his officer training program, and she hadn’t wanted to wait around for him. As she trudged along the concrete sidewalks of the tree-lines streets, the notion of getting her own driver’s license flittered through her mind, but as usual, she dismissed the idea almost immediately. After all, the sun was still out, the walk to her home wasn’t particularly long, and she didn’t need to pass through any sketchy parts of town on her journey.
More importantly, she couldn’t afford to waste her precious brain cells on such mundane pursuits when there was science to think about. She couldn’t quite say what had initially drawn her to study chaos, but there was something about the notion of order emerging from disorder, of predictable unpredictability, that seemed endlessly fascinating. It helped, of course, that the only university within walking distance of her home had several professors who were noted experts in the field; she’d already managed to draw the attention of Double Pendulum, who had performed groundbreaking research in his study of weather systems, and his advice on what courses to select with an eye for graduate school had already proven significantly more useful than what she’d received from the professor to whom she’d been arbitrarily assigned as a freshman.
And even though her current workload was overwhelmingly devoted to learning the scientific and mathematical concepts necessary to express her ideas to the academic community, on this afternoon, Twilight was looking to her future. After all, if she was to be a scientist, she’d need to explore some new territory, some aspect or application of chaos theory that hadn’t been fleshed out yet.
It was during a break in her classes that inspiration had struck. She’d overheard a group of students talking about how the social media website they were all using had gone down for some reason or another. The most popular theory was that there had been a surge of traffic due to some sort of event that had been on the news. Twilight had no idea if this was true, nor did she particularly care, but it was enough to form the germ of an idea. It seemed to her that social media traffic, when plotted over time, might make for an interesting dataset when examined under the lens of chaos theory. After all, it seemed like every company with a presence on the internet was trying to “go viral,” but for content to actually achieve that level of recognition often seemed completely arbitrary and unpredictable.
“Of course, if you’re going to examine social networks on a global scale, it might not hurt to have some local experience.”
This was a valid point—Twilight made a mental note to talk to Double Pendulum to see whether he thought taking a few courses on game theory would enhance her research.
“Actually, I was talking about practical experience. You know, the kind you have with kids your own age. Like, maybe down at the mall, or somewhere like that.”
It was at this point that Twilight realized that the voice she was hearing in her head wasn’t hers... well, technically, it was, but it didn’t sound like hers. “Surprise?!”
“Heh... that’s what I was going to say,” replied Twilight’s longtime imaginary friend. “It’s been a little while since you gave me an opening to drop in.”
Twilight sighed. She could almost see the slightly off-white girl with blonde hair and purple eyes in her mind’s eye; she’d apparently gone through a growth spurt around the same time Twilight had (or rather, Twilight was assuming that she would have had a growth spurt if she actually existed). “Opening? What are you talking about?”
“Well, obviously, you’re worried that you’re missing out on something by going to college early, but you’re not quite ready to admit it to yourself. That’s why I’m here: I can say what you’re already thinking, but it’s not in your voice.”
“That’s not why I created you.”
“Maybe not, but you don’t really need anyone to throw you imaginary parties anymore, do you? Besides, you’re just trying to avoid my point.”
“What point?”
“You should really get to know some kids your own age. I mean, I know you get along fine with all the adults at Canterlot Tech, but they’re still adults, even your classmates.”
Twilight stopped walking and looked around, to make sure that she hadn’t missed a turn while lost in thought. She was still in the nice, pleasant residential neighborhood where she’d expected to be. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear the shouts of children, perhaps from the backyard of one of the modestly-sized homes. “It’s not that simple. I can’t just walk up to a group of kids and introduce myself.”
“Sure you can!” Surprise insisted. “You’re just worried that they’ll tell you to leave them alone, or that it’ll become really obvious that you don’t have much in common. But you’ll never know for sure if you don’t try.”
“But starting conversations is so hard...”
“So? Just pretend you’re me. I start conversations all the time.”
“I can’t ‘just pretend’ to be you.”
“What are you talking about? I’m your imaginary friend. Technically, you’re pretending to be me right now.”
Twilight let out a soft groan. As usual, Surprise was correct, mostly because she really was a means that Twilight used to remind herself of things she already knew. “Fine,” Twilight answered. “I’ll give it a shot the next time I have a chance.”
“Are you sure you won’t just put it off?”
“No, I’ll do it this time. I promise.”
“So, we’re off to the mall, then?”
“Uh... maybe... but I still need to check in at home with Mom and Dad.”
Surprise sighed. “Okay...”
However, when Twilight arrived on her block, she spied an opportunity to fulfill her promise to her imaginary friend without having to go through the arduous task of approaching a complete stranger; after all, there was a teenager living next door to her, and when Twilight spotted her walking up to her front door, she figured that striking up a conversation with a passing acquaintance would be an adequate substitute. She jogged the rest of the way to her home and called out to her. “Hi there, Sunset!”
Sunset Shimmer turned around and, once she’d spotted the person who’d called her name, smiled. “Hi, Twilight. How’s college treating you?”
“Uh, pretty good, actually, though it sometimes takes the other students a while to get used to the fact that I’m so much younger than them.”
Sunset chuckled softly as she walked over to the picket fence that divided their yards. “Yeah, I guess it must be weird having sixteen-year-old classmates after you get out of high school.” Even though she was only about two years older than Twilight, Sunset just seemed to exude a confidence that made her seem more mature than everyone around her. Of course, Twilight hadn’t actually talked to her neighbor very often, so she supposed she could have been reading too much into things, but something about her seemed more glamorous than normal, almost magical. “So, what’s up?”
Twilight shifted her weight awkwardly as she considered what she was going to say... which sounded really strange, now that she’d come to the part where she’d have to say it out loud. “Um, well, I’ve kind of been wondering if I haven’t been missing out on something by not having any friends my own age. And I figured that since you’ve always got friends over here, you might know where all the best hangouts are. You know, so I can meet up with some kids... maybe make a friend or two.”
Sunset blinked a few times and ran her fingers through her hair. “You really sure about that?” she said with a mischievous grin... or at least, it looked like it was supposed to be mischievous. The well-meaning nature of Sunset’s expression seemed colder and more calculated to Twilight the longer she looked at it.
Twilight shook her head slightly and looked again—Sunset’s expression seemed perfectly normal. Clearly, Twilight was letting her imagination get the better of her. “What do you mean?” she asked in an effort to move the conversation forward.
“Look, Twilight, I get why you might feel a little bit out of place at Canterlot Tech, but really, what do the kids at Canterlot High have in common with you? It’s not like they can relate to the nucleated equations you work with.”
“Uh, actually, I think you mean ‘nonlinear’ equations,” Twilight cautiously corrected.
Sunset let out another breezy laugh. “See what I mean? I’ve got nearly perfect grades, but I’m not even on your level. Heck, my head’s still spinning from the time you tried to explain the whole deal about a two-and-a-halfth dimension.”
“Actually, we just say something has a fractal dimension of two-point-five. It’s easier to pronounce.”
“Still, you get my point, right?”
“I guess...” Twilight said slowly, “but it’d still be nice to have some friends my age to talk to every now and then. I mean, if I could just figure out how to start the conversations...”
“Trust me on this, Twilight,” Sunset said as she backed away from the fence and began moving back towards her front door. “We’re really not worth your time. You’re a scientist, after all. You’ve got bigger things to think about. Besides, once you’re an adult, four years isn’t much of an age difference at all.”
Twilight sighed. “I guess it makes sense when you put it that way.”
“No, it doesn’t!” Surprise interjected, but Twilight decided to ignore her. She was just glad that someone had validated her original opinion.
“Cool,” Sunset said as she turned the knob on her front door. “See you later!” Sunset waved her hand as she entered her home and closed the door behind her.
“Well, that settles that,” Twilight said, using all of her willpower to keep Surprise from offering any sort of counterargument. So what if Sunset’s facial expressions had seemed off? There were probably dozens of perfectly logical explanations for that. In the meantime, her schedule for the evening was set: studying, blogging, and dinner.
Sweet mother of god...
6383139
If any butterfly totems appear, I am out of here.
Now I want to read a fic where Discord meets Ronnie Soak aka Kaos of Discworld. They could bond over chocolate milk and chaos or something.
I wonder how Discord will approach humanized Twilight Sparkle... this could be funny.
6383139 We can only hope Pinkie doesn't take after her. Pray to the everything (God, Space Jesus, Faust, Celestia, that random tree outside .) that Pinkie doesn't chaos theory.
Or at the very least, have it stay theory.
Dear Twilight Sparkle of Chaos theory classes. Try writing out the oscilation patterns of a free running unstable stochasic oscilator in a 2 dimentional pattern.
It will form a non dense regular branching tree structure where the number of branches on every level follow the fibbonacci series.
That, and maximal pseudo random sequences seem to be related to prime values.
Hopefully Discord will find such intresting pieces of information long before Shimmer melts human Twilights mind much further.
I find your Sunset Shimmer a lot more fun than the canon Equestria Girls one. Given your version specializes in Neuromancy, I wonder if she's using magic to boost her charisma a little, it explains why she seems realer than everyone else and so convincing to Twilight.
So, if Twilight is still
hallucinatingimagining Surprise, she may beschizophrenicrather weirded out when she sees how much Pinkie resembles her.My only complaint with this chapter is it's lack of the Equestrians interacting with humans and I'm sure that it will pop up again soon. One particularly fun thing about it was how well Pinkie and Penumbra (and Discord) were often inadvertently falling into familial roles, like Penumbra going "You have no idea" when told Pinkie was outgoing-- like a real exasperated sibling.
Ah, casting the net a little wider in this outing. Nice to see Sunset at least act like something other than a card-carrying B at this stage.
6383312
Um, you do understand what a scientific theory is, right? Tip: it's not a hypothesis.
Chaos theory is a well-understood (by professionals in the field, not by me) branch of mathematics. It describes things such as how Twilight's professor Double Pendulum works:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/45/Double-compound-pendulum.gif
6383467 Yes I am very well aware of how mathematical theory works, having a vested interest in chaos theory myself.
However the comment was intended as something of a joke, if "chaos theory" were no longer a "theory" it would be just "chaos".
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Hmm. Sunset's being more subtly sinister. Still, her plans are probably going to be smashed wide open once the other Equestrians meet Twilight. A well-reasoned counterargument from somewhere other than her own subconscious should have a very interesting effect on her. Plus, if Discord's the first to make contact, Twilight will probably feel a bit more comfortable. He is ostensibly an adult, after all.
PANIC
Hmm, when I think of an Earth Human equivalent to being good at "magic," I think of meditation, biofeedback and autohypnosis. The ability to push the mind and body past the limits that most people understand. In that vein could EQG Surprise be a tulpa that human Twilight created deliberately?
Looks like it will take a different Twilight to teach Sunset about friendship in this world.
Also, if Twilight in this world also created Surprise, it makes you wonder if the reason why Celestia seemed into Discord is because he reminds her of her own childhood friend.
6385515
I'm thinking Discord with the help of Pinks and Penny will be the one's to teach Twilight about the magic of friendship, and get a little inside her head (or in Pinkie's case a lot inside. Maybe have a Twinsies Sleepover together in Twilight's Brain).
And that'd be something, Discord and Earth Tia having a special connection. Then Tia's imaginary friend drops in to say hello.
6386031 That would be pretty cool, all 4 of them (Pinkie, Surprise, Discord and Penny) in Twilight's noggin for a friendship mental sleepover.
I just feel like there is some anime I saw a while back, about a couple that falls in love because the man reminds the woman so clearly of her childhood imaginary friend. Maybe it turns out they had seen each other briefly as kids, and that is what gave her the idea for what her imaginary friend would look like? Ah well.
I guess I'm just a huge fan of this Discord, to me he will always be the Quigley who invented the idea of the "strategic daylight reserve."
Speaking of imaginary friend counterparts, what about the third part of the trifecta? Does Penumbra remind the Vice Principal of this imaginary ally she created to help her concoct a plan to steal Celestia's job years ago?
6386122
If Penumbra does that'd be both the biggest form of discrimination ever.
P: What's wrong with you VP!?
L: I won't let you make me flood Celestia's house with whip creme and moon pies! You evil fiend!
P: Wait ... so no eternal night?
L: Eternal what now?
P: ...
...
So you're giving me a suspension because your imaginary foe talked you into pranking your sister?
L: I'm still paying off the property damage from when you talked me into turning Tia's car into an Aquarium!
P: How does that work?
L: You know ... seal up the doors and windows and places were water can escape with sealant. Cut open the roof a bit, fill the car up with water and add in a few fish.
P: Oookaaay ...
L: I'm not crazy!
P: <I don't know weither to be proud of this Luna and take notes. Or if I'm glad that it never occurred to me to bury Celestia in a Prank War.> [outloud] So I'm not suspended right now?
L: No, you may go.
[Nopony sees Sunset Shimmer hiding in the corner to find material to use for Luna, to crush Penny to hurt Pinks. Using Luna's irrational bias to punish Penny.].
_____________
6386299 That entire scene was pure awesome. It even fits with Nightmare Moon originally being Celestia on some level, of course she would lead Luna into a prank war in that case! Heck, I'm surprised Luna doesn't still hold a grudge against Nightmare Moon/Penumbra for convincing her to eat all those cakes, since fat doesn't show up on imaginary friends!
6386352
I think Luna's fall to evil, was partially because of the intense work outs she needed to work off the thunder flanks, she was developing from Nightmare Moon talking her into trying to best Celestia's cake binges [half to one mountain of cakes per day.]. But Luna forgetting, when you have a pony who has a psionic link to the sun. That pony laughs in the face of metabolism and uses the sun to burn off 95% of calories she in takes on a daily basis. The moon on the other hoof doesn't grant legendary metabolism hax.
I'd be mad too. But yeah, I'm surprised at Luna's lack of a grudge. Although that could be off screen, and she's just waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
6386395 Ah, you're referencing the detailed scientific hypothesis Princesses Don't Potty, specifically this theory:
A reasonable supposition I suppose, though I would guess more like 90% rather than 95%, look at the size of the royal throne! And yes, a restricted food intake and low blood sugar would force anyone to declare eternal night, under cover of darkness no one can see you cheat on your diet with moon pies!
6386418
I wasn't thinking about that fic. But now that you brought it up. I really, really need to re-read it, it's been awhile. Mostly I was thinking:
Royal Physician: Um ... Princess, your Royal-Royalness?
Celestia:That's doubly royal . You know you can be honest with me *motherly smile*.
RP: Well it's just that ... well ...
C: Yes?
RP: Well your weight is getting dangerously high. If you aren't careful you'll need to go on a diet soon. For your own health of course.
C: *still smiling* <Dang it! I knew that two story, angel food cake was a bad idea ... but my school made it just for me. How could I say no to that? ... Oh! I forgot!> [Connects to the sun, and lets it's magic, magically boost her metabolism to ungodly amounts.]. I think you need to recheck your scales. Here let me hop on.
[Then she's healthy - near healthy levels. Satisfaction not guaranteed when coupled with a visit to the Room of Infinite Cakes. [aka. Duplication Spell mistake gone horribly right.]]
Well, this AU's been a wild ride, but I'm finally caught up! Can't wait to read the rest
I want to say that this should be stares, but this is Discord we're talking about.
6386122
Sounds like Love Hina.
--Spade
6386122 - No, she doesn't. You see, the only reason that Luna made her contingency theories was because she was worried that Celestia would be able to create an army of golems after Discord's manifestation. Obviously, Discord never popped out of Celestia's head in this world, so there would be no impetus for the Nightmare's creation in the first place.
6390312 Probably for the best then. I do hope that even if Nightmare Moon was never imagined in this world, Discord was, I could definitely see a pair of high school educational professionals wishing for a bit of fun in their lives.
And caught up. Really loving Discord's scenes. Now would he hate chaos theory for applying/finding a sort of order in chaos, or would he love it for that?
If Surprise is still around, I'm thinking that EG!Nightmare and EG!Quigley haven't gotten out either.
.... This is gonna be good!
6578000 - It's worth repeating that this universe never had a Nightmare in the first place, because without magic, Quigley/Discord could never materialize, which means that Luna would never have any reason to waste time making paranoid contingency plans to counteract Celestia.
Magic. I'm calling it now. Maybe Discord's brand of magic, maybe not, but either way she simply won't be able to resist when she realizes that magic is real. And then, it's just a matter of time before human-Surprise pops out of human-Twilight's head. And things will snowball from there.
6383139 too bad that they couldn't have gotten Jeff Goldblum to voice human Twilight
hahahahahahah LOL