What is this?
Pinkie Pie nibbled at her muffin, barely listening to what Twilight was saying as she looked curiously at the mugs of her five friends. In her own mug, she had chocolate milk, but everypony else had something different. It was of a darker color, and steam was rising from the top.
She'd seen the drink before, of course - this wasn't her first time going out to breakfast with her friends. But today, she had an unsatisfiable curiosity, and she wouldn't feel complete until she knew what her friends were drinking.
"Hey Twilight, whatcha drinking?" Pinkie Pie asked, interrupting the unicorn and abruptly ending whatever conversation she was having with Rarity. Twilight glanced up at Pinkie, then down at her drink.
"What, this?" Twilight asked, levitating her mug about an inch off of the table for her friend to see. Pinkie Pie smiled and nodded in confirmation. "This is just coffee," Twilight told her.
"Coffee?" Pinkie repeated, finishing off her muffin with a giant bite.
"Yes. Haven't you ever had it before?" Twilight questioned.
"Nope," Pinkie said, crumbs falling out of her mouth. Rarity winced and levitated a napkin over to Pinkie's mouth, dabbing at the corners until it was clean. "Thanks," she said, causing more crumbs to fall out.
"Never?" Twilight asked in disbelief. She didn't quite understand how one could not have tried coffee before; she had often utilized it to pull all-nighters when she needed extra time to study for an exam.
"It's not all that surprising, darling," Rarity mused.
"Yeah, it's not like she needs the caffeine or anything," Rainbow Dash agreed. "She's annoying enough as it is!"
"Caffeine? What?" Pinkie Pie was really confused.
"Ya don't need it. Trust me," Applejack said.
"Oh, okay," Pinkie Pie said, shrugging. She resumed eating, and the others did the same a moment later. It seemed that she had dropped the issue, but in reality, her curiosity was burning stronger than ever. What was caffeine? Why didn't she need it? What did this coffee thing taste like, anyway? Certainly there was no harm in trying it.
But... no. Something about the way Fluttershy was eying her made her think that this would be a very bad idea. Then again, she was also quieter than the rest of the group, and was prone to overreactions. But Twilight was also prone to overreactions. And Rarity. And Applejack. Pretty much everybody, so it didn't count.
Well... one little sip won't hurt.
"Twilight, could I have a sip of your coffee?" Pinkie Pie politely requested. All conversation stopped.
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea..." Twilight laughed nervously, pulling her mug closer to her body.
"Aw, c'mon, please? Just one little sip!" Pinkie begged, gazing pleadingly into Twilight's eyes.
"Pinkie... I don't think that..." Twilight trailed off as she found herself getting lost in Pinkie's huge eyes, which were starting to water. "Oh fine, one sip. Just a small one," she allowed.
Pinkie immediately stopped looking sad and a wide grin reappeared on her face. "Yay!" she exclaimed, barely noticing her friends ducking partially underneath the table to protect themselves. Pinkie, not wanting to disobey Twilight, leaned forwards and took the tiniest sip possible.
It was good. More than good! Delicious! The flavor was incredibly strong, it was warm and creamy, and there was a perfect balance between sweetness and bitterness. It was absolutely perfect, and Pinkie needed more.
She yanked the drink off of the table and turned it upside-down, downing the entire thing in one giant gulp.
"Pinkie, no!" her friends cried out in unison, but she ignored them. In just three seconds, she made her way around the table and grabbed the other full coffees, drinking them as well. Each one of them was slightly different, and yet each one was still amazing. So amazing, in fact, that Pinkie Pie felt more alive than she ever had been. She was practically shaking with delight, and found herself filled with the inspiration to do every activity in existence, plus the ones that haven't been invented yet.
"Whoa!" Pinkie giggled madly, bouncing out of her seat. "This stuff is fuuuuuun!" Why would such an amazing drink be bad for her? It didn't make any sense, but then again, what's the fun in making sense? The more chaotic life is, the better! With that in mind, Pinkie Pie did a backflip and landed on the ceiling, where she skipped around, humming to herself.
"Come down here, ya crazy filly!" Applejack called up to her.
Fluttershy bit her lip and turned to Rainbow Dash. "Should we fly up and bring her down?" she proposed. Rainbow Dash groaned in response and took a bite of her Prench toast.
"Nah. She'll come down eventually," she said, bored already. She was used to Pinkie Pie's strange antics, so this wasn't that shocking of an event. As if to prove her point, Pinkie Pie floated downwards and out the window, where she ran off to who knows where.
"Um... how about now?" Fluttershy suggested.
"As much as I hate to say this, we should just let her go," Twilight decided.
"Pardon me?" Rarity gasped, grabbing the table to steady herself as she nearly fainted. "Let her go? She'll wreak havoc on this poor town!"
"There's not much we can do about it," Twilight sighed. "The most we can do is warn everypony to stay indoors and prepare for when she crashes from the caffeine."
"I volunteer to stay inside this place and help the employees clean up," Fluttershy said quickly. "You can all go without me."
Twilight looked sympathetically at her friend and nodded, then led the others out of the restaurant.
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Interesting...though I can only imagine what kinda crazy shit Pinkie can get into with THAT much coffee on her system...
Sorry Pinkie, until you feel the caffeine crash, you haven't experienced coffee.
6083433 That's why the story is marked as incomplete.
Next chapter, we shall see.
Oh boy What's going to happen, but I wonder if pinkie ever made Coffee Cake or tiramisu but for sake of the fic I guess I can suspend my disbelief.
Rampage
img12.deviantart.net/70e6/i/2014/350/b/a/finished_by_hillbe-d8a3v8r.jpg
Pinkie Pie. Caffeine.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw6245-Mother_of_me....png
Oh dear
Are you sure this isn't a comedy
Pinkie Pie on that much coffee?
Oh dear, this won't be good, fillies and gentlecolts. Batten up your windows and doors, Equestria.
Your fanfiction is just fine, however. Please do continue, darling..
Sir,
You just opened a portal to hell, DOOM style. Death regrets to inform you that he has to close it, as even hell is not enough to stop Pinkie Pie on coffee, let alone THAT much coffee. You will either have to wait for her to crash or for your demise, which ever comfirst.
Also, you seriously did open a portal to hell in Equestria. Good for you.
Keep writing!
Professor Obedire R. Birch
Love it. I half expected her to vibrate so quickly that she would phase out of Equestrian reality... Or, y'know, experience a complete time stop, ah-la Over the Hedge.
What has
sciencemagiccaffeine DONE???As for ponyville? Great job breaking it, heroes... FYI Celestia is the one who first imported coffee for the express purpose of this lesson in friendship.
6083830 I'll add the tag, then. I always avoid adding the comedy tag at first, because I never have any idea of whether or not my story is funny.
Pinkie Pie + caffeine? BAD
BAD
BAD
BAD
BAD IDEA!!!!
LOL, this reminds me of my very first contact with FiM, a crossover comic on dA between MLP and Mythbusters, which is epic in its ending, I tell ya
here it is!!
( I want more)
6086282 Then more you shall get.
Hopefully. I'm lazy.
I think this is more or less what I expect from "Coffee Pinkie"
And that's how Equestria was unmade.
static.rainbowdash.net/file/pegasusjones-20130815T025014-k784f7k.png
6086304 I was going to make a parody of this fanfic, for my new line of Retsupurae-styled tales, but after reading this it doesn't deserved to be mocked. This is a great read and you deserve a follow. Luckily I can give you one. :)
6088348 Mock it all you want.
Thanks for the watch and the fave!
6088399 Oh, no no no, I can't and won't mock it. I'm looking for poorly-written and cheap-concept stories, and your's is a good fanfic that made me chuckle quite a bit. It doesn't meet the criteria for taking the piss out of it. Besides, it's mostly clopfics I'm looking to parody right now. The overused plots and massive lack of effort made in those pornographic writings provide a wealth of things to mock and point jokes at. I actually clicked on your story y mistake, and from there I just went ahead and gave it a read and was impressed.
Don't thank me for the watch and fave, Sleepy Panda. You don't need to thank me for something you earned. :)
6088528 You're too kind.
6088625 So I am told. XD
Coffee?
when pinkie starts quoting discord, HEAD FOR THE HILLS!