No. No. No. No. This is all wrong. You didn't follow any of the advice I gave you in my review of your first story. This is still on a low level of quality.
I´m no expert, but I get the feeling you probably need an editor, because of some grammar mistakes, but I only notice a few little pieces, but maybe there are more wrong words.
I think I noticed one missig word, and some letters, it looks like you maybe hurry to much, or you just need an editor, that can help you with that.
The news is the first thing that comes on "late yesterday evening right ought side the Everfree forest there was a flash of light and a crater was formed in the ground. We also fond a set of hoof prints and cart tracks. We presume that some-pony took what ever made the crater. princess Twilight Sparkler ask the who ever this pone is let her know what it is so that she can make sure that it is safe."
I never even thought he could be dangerous. A loud bang comes from behind me. I look back at my room ware the nose just came form and the unknown thing is sleeping or at least was. I walk over to the door and peek in to the room. "Hes up what do I do should i call some one maybe twilight" i back up but as i do knock over a vase. buck my luck.
I´m not excatly sure if it makes sense right now, that she is suddenly affraid of him, she even already talked to him, so she maybe doesn´t really need to be scared, at least not that much.
I want to give it a chance, so I´m reading more, but if you already got some tips, I would say you maybe try and follow them as much as you can. Yeah I can´t say much more, I´m no english expert, and I never really thought I would be good at writing, but the grammar was the biggest point, and that I probably always can´t decide how I want to write it, first person and stuff like that if you know what I mean. Sorry I´m not good with words tonight.
i like it and cant whate 4 more
It's turn, not tern
It's got potential but I got one word for you proofreaders
No. No. No. No. This is all wrong. You didn't follow any of the advice I gave you in my review of your first story. This is still on a low level of quality.
I´m no expert, but I get the feeling you probably need an editor, because of some grammar mistakes, but I only notice a few little pieces, but maybe there are more wrong words.
I think I noticed one missig word, and some letters, it looks like you maybe hurry to much, or you just need an editor, that can help you with that.
I´m not excatly sure if it makes sense right now, that she is suddenly affraid of him, she even already talked to him, so she maybe doesn´t really need to be scared, at least not that much.
I want to give it a chance, so I´m reading more, but if you already got some tips, I would say you maybe try and follow them as much as you can. Yeah I can´t say much more, I´m no english expert, and I never really thought I would be good at writing, but the grammar was the biggest point, and that I probably always can´t decide how I want to write it, first person and stuff like that if you know what I mean.
Sorry I´m not good with words tonight.
6779442 iv been looking for 1
6780953 not sure if that makes it easier, but I heard there is a group for that, where you can ask too.
This is an ok story concept, but before you write any more pass grade 3 and learn english