• Member Since 11th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Jul 11th, 2015

dummymarch


E

Little Ink has moved to the crystal empire hoping to forget her painful memories behind to start a new life but reminders appear everywhere she turns

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

Dah format

Dah Grammar

Dah OC self-insertion yo.

K

How hard is it to get the first thing the reader sees from your story correct? It's one word, and you managed to fail. One. Word.

I really don't care for grammar or the format it's self the thing is, it's all about the story. The Story is a bit edgy but it's a good start all you need is to fix some stuff here and there and it will be perfect.

This feels very rushed.

Don't let all this negativity turn you away from writing. Please. It wouldn't have hurt this story to be edited and cleaned up and some grammar fixed... But the story itself isn't bad and you tried, keep trying, keep writing, and seek out an editor, you did a good job.

Comment posted by Iseeyou deleted May 20th, 2015

So Little Ink is a piece of cardboard? The lack of emotions is really hurting your character. What is her personality, what are her little quirks? Detail goes a long way in establishing a character. I don't care about this character at all either. You've given no reasons to care. Also, re-edit the grammar and spelling please. For the love of God respect the English language

5991452

Even if the spelling is bad (Witch I'm guilty of)

Witch I'm guilty of

Witch

Was... was that intentional? :rainbowhuh:

Review Time!:

Title:

friends

Correction: Friends

Description:

Little Ink has moved to the crystal empire hoping to forget her painful memories behind to start a new life but reminders appear everywhere she turns

Not even a period or a comma? The description is a little too short, and it's an OC story? I can already tell not many people will like this.

Chapters:
The first chapter's title has to include proper capitalization.


I can already tell this story will include plenty of mistakes. Hopefully you fix these issues before I come back. ~ Silver Spoon

5990477 Your profile picture matches that comment perfectly.

Comment posted by Iseeyou deleted May 20th, 2015

5991452 It wouldn't work even if the spelling and grammar were perfect. The story's drowning in edges and the character is debilitatingly bland, and a grammar sweep won't fix that.

ANYTHING that makes a story more difficult to read, be it elements within the story or the way the words are spelled and used, is a step towards making it bad. And as I've told you SEVERAL times now, this kind of coddling will encourage them to not take steps to fix those issues. There's a fine line between injecting positivity in a comment section and flat-out white-knighting, and you've been veering towards the wrong side for a while.

5992072 I would refer you to 5992217 's comment

Comment posted by Iseeyou deleted May 20th, 2015

5992300 Mm.

You know you're letting the "trolls" win by hiding from them, right? It's a form of giving them attention if you go out of your way to drive them off.

Who the hell's even still been giving YOU attention, other than the times you've poked me on my userpage? Your shit was two months ago.

5992851 I haven't really said anything worth of such. Also It's rather weird that I'm NOW getting downvotes out of nowhere. Before I posted this comment, I had none but now I do. Your bring suspicion to yourself now... I don't have 100% proof but still.

5992858 Destroyer. That happens literally every time a fight starts in a comment section or group thread and people start noticing. They upvote the guy who's being smart and downvote the moron he's talking down. It's not a conspiracy that's following you. It's you not completely stopping acting out on small scales and drawing negative attention to yourself.

If the downvotes on your comments are all that's happening to you... you have absolutely no idea what trolling is.

Comment posted by Iseeyou deleted May 20th, 2015

5992880
5992910

Just a bit of unbiased advice, Destroyershy: it might be a good idea to quit saying "let's move on" in every comments section you find yourself in; you're only prolonging the drama behind whatever happened. I have no idea what you did in the past, but the only reason I know anything happened at all is because you always make a point to say "let's move on". No one harbors any ill feelings against you; you're the one that constantly talks about "moving on" in a thinly veiled attempt to dispel some imaginary group of trolls that's attacking you.

Fallen Prime's right: no one's stalking you. Calm down. Be smart, be polite, (in your case) don't engage in arguments, and don't always direct the conversation back to you and your alleged "trolls", and you'll be just fine.

5992910 Yeah, 5998693 is right. The ONLY reason this is still in the public consciousness is because you talk CONSTANTLY about letting it go, which inherently leads to it not being let go. Stop drawing attention to it, and to yourself. If you're going to stop the "trolls" from drudging up the past, shut up about both.

5998693 Before I begin, I'm going to say this: If I come off as aggressive, I apologize. That is not what I'm going at. Since two people took what I said out of context, I need to make this statement so nothing gets screwed.

Just a bit of unbiased advice, Destroyershy: it might be a good idea to quit saying "let's move on" in every comments section you find yourself in;

I do take what your saying into account but I didn't start this. I said something nice and I'm getting the bad end of things.

you're only prolonging the drama behind whatever happened.

How...? That holds no weight to what's going on here. I wasn't even referring to anything but it was taken out of context.

I have no idea what you did in the past, but the only reason I know anything happened at all is because you always make a point to say "let's move on".

So... let me get this straight... I'm trying to remove myself from the problem but I get punished for it? There are so many things wrong with that statement it hurts. #1- I didn't start anything. #2- Me trying to remove a problem was the only thing I was trying to do so where did I go wrong exactly? I could go on but I would be here forever.

No one harbors any ill feelings against you; you're the one that constantly talks about "moving on" in a thinly veiled attempt to dispel some imaginary group of trolls that's attacking you.

I think a few users would like to say otherwise about ill feeling against me. Also I haven't said this in quiet some time so... Also I mean a handful not a group. I should have be more exact on what I said.

Fallen Prime's right: no one's stalking you.

Ok question for you: How do you know that? There is no proof supporting that. Also I'm not the only one who has said this and there are people who have seen what happen. I'm not saying your 100% wrong but there is nothing that holds what you said.

Calm down. Be smart, be polite

I complain but a few users will support me on this so...

(in your case) don't engage in arguments, and don't always direct the conversation back to you and your alleged "trolls", and you'll be just fine.

I'll agree with the arguments but I didn't direct anything to anyone.

Look all I want to do is have fun not start wars. At this point if it continues, I'm just going to start blocking because this is getting to the point where I will have to take action. I didn't enforce the blocking before because it was deemed unnecessary but it seems I was wrong. I thank you for helping but I don't deserve the crap I get on here. I took a picture of what I said on here but I'm removing them so it doesn't fill the users page up. if you want to continue this, ether go on your page or Fallen's page. Thank you for your time.

Comment posted by Iseeyou deleted May 20th, 2015

5998915 At this point I don't think YOU know what trolls you're referring to.

5999194 It seems you don't. Alright you gave me enough info to understand how you are. In anycase, I'm done with this. Don't bother bring up the subject again.

6000321 I won't if you don't.

Alongside many, MANY awful lines in this uninspiring, bland dreck, this one still stands out a mile:

Against my will a sob ripped through my throat

Ugh. I shudder just looking at it. Until you improve like, 110%, please never go near a keyboard again.

Login or register to comment