Short stories and scenes from the All-American Girl series, some written by me and some by others.
Please note the Random tag is meant to note that each story may have different elements, and that the three other tags are the overarching ones.
LOVE THE SERIES!
It's well written. I can't help getting a CB vibe. This world/setting is like Conversion Bureau but without all the associated sturm und drang. It's like a kinder and gentler Conversion Bureau (or, arguably, a namby-pamby sissy Conversion Bureau) setting.
I have a habit (good or bad, you decide) of sweating the details in stories like this, and I found a number of details that nag at me. For one, I'll never accept Cadence as an alicorn. I'm sure the Hasbro toy department phoned the producers and demanded a pink alicorn character that they could put on store shelves, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it in my fanfics. Having her control the moon, even temporarily and with difficulty, doesn't work for me.
Shadowbolts? I always thought the Shadowbolts were merely an illusion that Nightmare Moon conjured up to tempt Rainbow Dash. They weren't real ponies, and I assumed that there never was historically any such thing as Shadowbolts. (A nocturnal stunt-flying team really doesn't seem too plausible if you think about it.)
> the moon’s just a huge rock floating out in space, whereas the sun is this huge ball of fire that has to be held together at all times
Questionable cosmology... If the sun has to be held together with magic at all times, then what held it together before the mages of Unicornia began controlling it? What happened when Discord was in control?
I also find it mildly surprising that Applejack or Rarity would leave their entrepreneurial career paths to take government posts -- even high ones. But maybe the private sector just isn't valued in Equestria the way it is here. And I guess, if your Princess calls for you, then you pretty much have to drop whatever else you were doing and take the job.
Truth be told, I didn't care for the change on Cadance, but she turned out to be well written. In any case, believe it or not, I have her as the weakest alicorn for a reason. As mentioned earlier, there's a huge clue in this and the 1st chapter of the main story.
For the sun, I've always concluded that it was unicorn teams that dealt with the sun before Celestia.
Regardin coomerce, it's possible. Equestria always strikes me as a Deep England ideal.
And this series, or the main one, will never be TCB. Might be some dark stuff in the sides stories, but there will certainly be light and love.
I dont doubt that the United States would declare war on a country if members of its military did that to an American citizen or citizens on US soil but overall good chapter cant wait for the next
They probably wouldn't, but if you look at US policy since the 50's and some of the military readiness policies, you'll find that's an actual provocation.
>>596960596960 are there going to anymore chapters or is it a solo story?
It's a supplemental series of side stories. They fill in gaps to the main story, or go in directions that people thought about. They'll pop up now and again while I'm working on the main portion of AAG.
>>597978597978 sweet I love AAG
First, eeeee, an update! Second, a bit too much fanon in here -- Lyra/Bon-Bon, Octavia/DJ-P0N3, and Shadowbolts? Three, jus soli and jus sanguinis, I knew there were Latin terms for civic-based nationhood and ethnic-based nationhood, Four, you just keep piling on Rarity's trauma train in this story, don't you? (Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads me questioning Rarity's best pony status. . . . Hmm, is Dark Side Rarity best Rarity? ) Five, no-one ever told Rarity about the attack in 20 years, did they? Six, Celestia scouting the Earth is pretty smart, but I can't help but imagine what will happen when she discovers Internet news sites, "Luna, the shit has hit the fan, and we're now the fourth most hated nation on Earth! Also, I can't stop texting."
It's nice to see more of the backstory. I can't wait for more!
EDIT: "All-American Girl" should be italicized in the description.
Lyra, given her fanon status, was logical. I also used Apple Cobbler since the hipster glasses make her look smart.
What, me pile on Rarity's trauma train? I told everyone I had an outline....
Does Rarity know what happened to DJ? Not a clue. Yet.
Now you've got me thinking human Celestia dancing in an iPod commercial.
I was more complaining about romantic pairings. Honestly, JasonTheHuman's Anthropology is so ubiquitous with Lyra at this point that I don't think you could separate Lyra with humanity. Apple Cobbler came out of nowhere though.
That outline apparently covers events far outside the original story. The best kind of outline.
Wow. That's going to be a hell of a revelation when that comes out in the main story. I just hope it doesn't end like the first chapter of the Smuggler's story in TOR: the parent on the floor, dying of disease, and cursing their child after a final reconciliation turned sour.
Well, Celestia was always the most modern sister. It frankly wouldn't surprise me if she was up to date on all the latest technology. Though perhaps I'm projecting my favorite president (Calvin Coolidge) onto her instead of analyzing her as a character, or perhaps it's a little be of both columns, she is a bit of a Silent Cel. (Also, she would look great in an iPod commercial.)
The Lyra/Bon-Bon pairing has been given pseudo-official status now, in the same way that the Apple parents are dead; it's been talked about off the record and just not outright stated in the show.
Complex outline is complex.
As usual, Murphy's ruling the roost when it comes to this whole situation.
Truthfully? It wouldn't surprise me if Celestia had already known about the existence of human Earth and had just kept it under wraps until it was discovered by someone else.
Well... crap there goes my idea for a sidestory... damn what to do now?
Actually, I wrote that there to set your side story up.
About Celestia going to church? Sorry I starting writing one that was the diary of the ambassador to the US and well... it won't fit anymore. When I get more time I'll reread through the chapter to get a better feel.
yay new chapter lol Kraut
LOVE THE FIC! MOAR!
"Dad and your parents fought Uncle Sam for five years to prove it . . ."
You know, reading this, my mind immediately skipped to DJ's parents' military service, and that immediately brought up the idea that Matt and Anna's time in the armed forces involved mud wrestling a musclebound personification of America for five years straight in an epic battle that would be passed down through the ages in song and story.
And a tongue-in-cheek Hey Ocean shout out, nifty.
More seriously though, even if DJ wasn't really raped she's going to be suffering from PTSD for years to come. Yet more trauma. It's so sad.
Also, what's the song that plays at the end there?
"Be Human", by Yoko Kanno and Scott Matthew from the Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Be Human soundtrack. Lyrics are here.
As evidenced in the main story:
The reporter saw herself out and sighed; her parents, father-in-law and husband might have been all military, but it was DJ herself that had post-traumatic stress disorder; whatever she was about to reveal truly bothered the hell out of her.
. . . I remember that song. It was years ago, I had just finished watching 2nd GiG, and was looking for the soundtrack. That brings back memories.
Say, I've you tried submitting this story/series to Equestria Daily yet? I bet it could make the pass in 10 seconds flat.
Yup, and they shot it down in 10 seconds flat: they weren't accepting any more PoE stories.
. . . Really? There's been, what, like five posted in the site's entire history? Ponies-on-Earth stories aren't exactly common, especially compared to Human-in-Equestria stories, and they have their own section. Maybe you can try again in a month or two. That just doesn't seem right. (Not the first time I've heard complaints about them, the people on Spacebattles got half-a-dozen stories to tell on that, but it still doesn't seem right.)
Just asked for a clarification on their site. Let's see if I actually get paid attention to.
Keep us posted. Denying an entire premise while its flip side gets readily accepted is just wrong.
I've found that submitting anything to EqD is an exercise in frustration and anger management.
Yay! More! I almost didn't notice this. I was just waiting for the original to update. This is fantastic.
I almost want to see a ton more writers build on this universe. It seems to have a lot of potential, though it's so far centered around a key character so that would limit it.
And I'm so glad Lyra hasn't shown any signs of being an insane conspiracy theorist yet. I like the way she's written here.
Almost missed these stories. Good stuff.
Another great chapter! However, as St. Louisan, I'm afraid I disagree with Lyra's driver.
Memes are old-people talk? I guess that makes sense.
I can actually see myself embarassing my children in public with a loud "[child's name], Y U No do this?"
I've said my piece on SB already but since this is the second time I've read this I just gotta say again that this was pretty damn good. Really like the world building you're doing.
Wow ponies are xenophobic they need to grow up especially BonBon
Well, in fairness, some in the Wives' Club weren't exactly sterling examples of humanity.
>>620274620274 yeah but what do you expect its politics and stuff never understood that really
I second that.
That was really sad.
What a horrible way to wake up and realized you got it on with an alien. Time for a cold shower.
Could be worse; he could have woken up next to Screwloose.
And she could woken up next to Fat Bastard. There is no cold shower in existence that will clean you from him.
Interesting in how one of the big issues with DJ is that Equestrians think she might be part of the next generation of Element Bearers. I don't think that was ever mentioned to DJ outright, which means that could be a shocker to her if what I suspect happens to Rarity ends up being true.
I hope you aren't talking about me.
I don't think she'd listen even if they were to tell her.
True enough, plus I don't really see DJ as embodying any of the elements as strong as the mane six do. Especially Generosity, since DJ wants nothing to do with Rarity.
Someone on another forum said that she might qualify, based on the fact that she tends to be more generous than the average American. While that might be so, I'm going to guess that the Elements aren't basing things off of American standards. So I'm in agreement that everyone is probably very mistaken about her getting any use out of any six of those gems.
I dunno, the element of Magic looks pointy and large enough that DJ could probably beat somebody to death with it. Nothing says you can't use the elements in a physical manner.
Twilight: "Here's my Element of Magic. Use it wisely, DJ."
DJ: "Sooooo...pointy end goes in that-a-way?"
I like you.
Austin Powers reference. Nothing against you.
Once she finds out what it means to be a bearer she would probably refuse it outright. If there's a problem give me Mr. Shotty.
Oh shhhh aint good he died in a plane crash
Upon reading the first few sentences, I had to make sure I hadn't clicked on Part 1 by mistake!
As for the story, I suspected Lyra and Paul were going to get married, since this is taking place before the first chapter of AAG and in AAG I noticed that among the firsts attributed to DJ, being part of the first Pony/Human married couple was not on the list, and now that curiously absent detail makes more sense.
The hands bit also made me think of the other Lyra's reaction back over in Anthropology when she got her human hands.
But that end...damn, that's pretty hard for Lyra, but might also be pretty bad for Bon Bon since now she has to go back to the very mare she had finally learned to live without through a mental breakdown.
Agreed, poor Lyra.
Eritrea is written Eitrea in some places.
Humans have stronger emotions? That is very interesting.
Life is really jerking Lyra around.
Oh the irony.....
I figure if I'm going to have JasonTheHuman coming after me for what I'm doing to Lyra, I should at least get in an homage.
Don't be too sure.... All the signs say they've reconciled, which does not mean necessarily that they got back together.
Alaborn, I'll get that fixed.
warpd, we're not done yet.
This is probably a silly request, but to whoever wrote this chapter, could they please provide at least a few details on the plane in the next? It's not really anything major, but I've always been interested in those kind of things. (Even if the plane is made up, although planes like the Airbus A380 and the Boeing 787 Dreamliner would most likely still be in service, as planes serve forty to fifty years, although with variations over time. The Boeing 747 was commissioned over 40 years ago, and it's still being revised with new variations and sofourth.) Thanks!
Frak, there goes the happy ending I was hoping for.
Great chapter, but I'm kinda hoping you don't get Lyra and Bon-Bon back together.
Hooray for Lauren!
Wow, that was different. Earn your happy ending for real. These side stories are fun.
VERY well done arc. Love the line at the end.
Glad to see that they're okay... in this timeline.
When I saw the part about the white Alicorn with the red mane I just smiled, glory to Epona for we shall find comfort in her feathery embrace and safety by her horn.
Not necessarily. There are things that are powerful, and yet there are higher authorities still. Yay for cosmic bureaucracy!
Well, this was a great ending.
And I don't know if my comment had anything to do with it, but I'm glad there were details on the jet itself. Although I have never heard of it, I researched it a bit, and it would have been still in service (Probably, if it was successful and upgraded over time) And it had a crash on record.
Oh, and time. Time travel confuses me. End of story. From Star Trek to ponies, time travel is one of the most obnoxious things to think about. Great job with that part, too.
Anyways, fantastic story, kinda sad this part is over though.
Personally, I think this one jumped the shark. I don't like stories that are resolved with divine intervention.
This reminds me of something from Futurama....
God Entity: Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.
God Entity: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Well, the next arc will definitely delve deeper into the main storyline. And as I mentioned, nothing going on here. I've made some adjustments to the master outline that allow me to do a couple of extra things - we're not going for voodoo sharks here.
Well, JasonTheHuman isn't going to kill you if he reads the whole story now since Lyra hasn't suffered too badly, so I guess that's a good thing
As for the story itself, I'm glad to see it managed to end on a happy note, even if it involved divine intervention of the Fausticorn. While it seems a little to jarring for it to go from "hundreds of people died" to "everybody lives!",especially if the plane went crashing through some buildings in downtown Belgrade, it seems fitting that a little miracle like that happens in a world connected to our favorite multi-colored magic ponies. And is the 100-D7 being grounded a reference to a real plane model that had the same issues? (I want to say the DC-10, but I'm not sure).
Regardless, I eagerly await the next installment in the AAG series.
And is the 100-D7 being grounded a reference to a real plane model that had the same issues? (I want to say the DC-10, but I'm not sure).
Just happened a few weeks ago.
I also picked Belgrade (a suburb of Bozeman) on purpose; not only does the airport border the village, but had the crash occurred in Bozeman, there would have been casualties no matter what. Just adding a tad bit of light to an already dark storyline.
Wow, not really much I can say other than I don't think that plane model is going to be popular.
Hence why Sukhoi actually farmed the building out to Boeing. Sukhoi has had some serious decline in the post-Soviet era, and it's showing. At least with someone else doing the construction, they can feign it being the partner's fault.
I was expecting a Thor-esque kind of guy who subtly hints at being God, but Fyre Fly works too.
Well, I like how this panned out. Though a part with Lyra and Paul coping with what happened, and what could have happened (or did happen!?) wouldn't have been out of place.
Well, if there's enough demand, I might cover more of Lyra and Paul's life together.
Go for it!
Would a changeling get more love out of a human because of the more intense emotions or would it not matter?
You know, that is a very good question. That might be something to explore later. It could possibly well be that a changeilng could draw enough from humans that it'd be like finding the mother lode. Of course, if that were the case, humanity would be in very deep (non-Ditzy) doo-doo.
First person this chapter to tell you that both story and side-story are amazing and to keep it up!
Sometimes you don't get the girl. Not sure what she was thinking anyway being so long lived and everything. Mayfly December Romances always leave someone alone for a long time.
I might have to give a shot at writing a side story.
Luna is one of my favorite ponies, so this story did appeal to my tastes. Too bad it was short.
The Alter Earth thing seems to be causing alot of pain for alot of ponies. But it's one of life's funny things, where it all works out in the end.
It hasn't been one week since you ended Broken Heartstrings, and now this is up. You sir, are a machine that pumps out literary awesome!
Because she thought she could use her magic to keep him alive indefinitely. Whether that's true or not (or even morally right) is debatable, but as long as both are in their cages, it's a moot situation.
The War of the Elements was a huge, chaotic period in pony history. Discord probably would have loved it, because the chaos was being caused by the six ponies whose job it was to stop chaos.
>>643495643495 and >>643633643633
Turning a mortal immortal rarely goes right. Anyway keep up the good work.
Changelings would probably be the scariest security breach mankind would ever face. Invasion of the Body Snatchers for real.
>Kirkland Industries owns a lot of factories around the world – well, our Earth – and we contract with a lot of the major companies to build stuff for them – Sony, Microsoft, Apple, Dalek-Ix, Samsung, you know, all the names
One of these things is not like the others. /captainobvious
>She paused for a second, and admitted, “Well, Skye and I? We’re…we’re princesses.”
I knew this was going to happen the moment those two were introduced, although I didn't see that bit of misdirection immediately afterwards coming. Personally, I've been hoping for more info on Celestia's sneaking mission to Earth.
"“Greetings,” the alicorn at the lectern stated."
There's a slight typo here when Rarity introduces herself, although understandable since she's pairing off with Cadence here. I did need to go back to make sure Rarity hadn't somehow made that wing spell from Sonic Rainboom permanent and I hadn't noticed, though.
All in all, a very unique chapter in that we examine more of the pony side of things for a change, I figured out what was really going on the moment two sisters who looked almost nothing alike showed up to the point where the differences were like day and night.. Although I find the pairings of the CMC/school kids a bit jarring, since I thought the popular ship with Apple Bloom was with Pipsqueak, but it's your story and it's more of a personal nitpicking, so I can live with it.
Also, was that an Anthropology shout out I detected?
Another author is working on Celestia's first trip to Earth. As you can guess, not everyone's as fast a writer as I am.
Fixed the error. The intent was originally to have Cadance speaking alone, but I thought it would have a greater impact if Rarity tried to speak to them and maybe overcome her concerns about humanity and then fail.
As for the CMCs and other school kids, I'm figuring it came at different times in their lives. By this point in the story, the CMCs are already in their 30s. AB and Pip being with others was intentional, as Snails' mark and AB being an earth pony tied them together in my mind somewhat.
And if there was an Anthropology shout out in this one, it wasn't intentional. I was referring to the discipline itself, not the story and I figured that ponies, getting the info that we're Homo sapiens sapiens probably figured that Homonology was the correct term for the studies of humans.
Didn't see the end coming at all. In hindsight it makes sense but since I lacked context for their names......so bravo good sir for pulling a fast one.
"There had been a plot to destroy them back in 2001 but thankfully a combined team of Federal agents in the US and police from other countries managed to tear apart a small terrorist group named Al-Qaeda."
Ah-ha! So it is an AU (beyond the obvious)! I had been wondering... certain background details seemed slightly off to me, but nothing definite enough to confirm my suspicions. Until now, that is.
Of course, now I'm wondering what ELSE is different and what effect those differences might have... and vice versa.
Are the changes somehow caused by DJ's appearance (butterfly effect), or was this universe an alternate version of our own to begin with?
Only 39 upturned thumbs? Come on people, this story deserves more than that. (ALL the mustaches. )
Well, here's some of the ones already mentioned:
- Al-Qaeda destroyed, regrouped into ROP
- Bin Laden is a desk-driver (probably won't make an appearance)
- Romney beats Obama, two terms, then his VP is beaten by a Democrat, Democrat dies in office leaving his VP as president (first Hispanic prez/first female prez); she's on her second term when the Foalnapping Affair occurs (no idea who's in the White House as of the start of AAG, but Sen. MacAllister is running for office.)
- RAF buys into the YF-23 program and rolls out the F-23A, later upgrades to F/A-23.
- Ethiopia, Eritrea and Somalia all part of the "Greater Somalia Conflict Zone"
- No second Gulf War (Hussein was dealt with the first time)
- World generally more peaceful after Cold War
- BRICSK becomes an actual military organization much like NATO. Both organizations ensure peace and stability. (IRL, Kenya is not a part of the BRICS alliance nor is it military.)
- Celestia creates several ministries to deal with greater government issues
- Guards reorganized into Royal Equestriani Armed Forces, with an actual Army, Navy, and Air Force. REAF mainstay is F-23A, with F-35D as backup and other aircraft. REN has two fleets, mostly composed of Burke-class destroyers and Ticonderoga-class cruisers. Has two flattops, based on Nimitz-class, all flying F-35Fs.
- REA is 4 theatre armies.
- The Knights Elemental/Bearers are given a pseudo-military status (outside of their regular duties), classified as NATO OF-8 (LTG/VADM). Twilight, as Archmagus and Knight Commander, is an OF-9 (GEN/ADM).
- Equestria is a NATO member. Zebrababwe is a member of the OAS. Draconia has "junior partner" membership in BRICSK. Griphonia, Gazellis and others are militarily unaligned. All Alter-Earth nations are members of the UN.
...and DJ's still a raging smartass.
The first changes started occurring in 1979. Historically, that's when the last stable government in Somalia fell. IRL, they tried to create a new one and that lasted until 1991. In the AAG universe, it went south right at that point. There's also hints that there may have been a divergence even earlier, as Russia and China went had a brief war against each other (IRL Nixon managed to calm down both nations - see, he wasn't totally bad. )
D'oh, really should have caught on with the whole pirates thing. Or one of the numerous other changes you mentioned that I just didn't pick up on.
And looking back over the original story, I see that it can't be a butterfly effect situation because DJ ended up on Earth AFTER a number of those events...
Thanks for the timeline of changes! Now to figure out how each of those changes might be relevant in the future (I doubt I will have much success, but it'll be fun anyway).
You know, that quip on Spacebattles wasn't some random suggestion, it was actually a reference to my own fic -- in which the Nez Perce were never forced from their land, OPERATION: Valkyrie succeeded, Putin died a hero's death getting intel from a Chinese base, and the United Nations is in a cold war with South China and the rest of the free world, among other things. But hey, you want to have Russia and China duking it out (you know, more then they already did in the OTL) I say go for it, just as long as you have Nixon quote Captain Kirk, you know the line.
Well, she could always make herself age like everyone else (just to be clear, by all accounts she's just ageless, not immortal), but that would require her . . . Actually, I'm not sure what it would require, but I know it has to be a hell of a lot better than living forever.
Actually, you brought up a very important thing: the only way the world would be a bit more at peace is if the two duked it out briefly. I might have to go into a "history lesson" sometime later.
And even if she's immortal, there's time displacement theory at work, human perception of time speeds up as we grow older; who knows what it's like for an alicorn already thousands of years old.
Incredible ending to the Broken Heartstrings chapters/arc, the pony god was a nice touch. Lyra and Oaul worked very well as a couple, it's an approach to the Human-Lyra idea that made her a fully fleshed out character and not just a human fangirl, though the hands bit was funny and Bon-Bons fall was heartbreaking to read, her rise and redemption at the end made it so much better
Sad to see what happened with Robin and Luna but they both have obligations and are too dutiful to ever give them up, their gilded cages are ones they go into voluntarily no matter how much they may want to escape them, the needs of the many will always outweigh those of the few
It's sad to see what happened to Ethiopia in this timeline, I guess after the Derg fell the new Republic didn't last and Ahma Selassie (he son of the last Emperor) didn't get invited back and it joined Somalia as a failed state, it's a proud country but it has ande seems to get a lot of crap slung its way in reality, history and fiction
Before anyone asks: my wife wrote the latest installment. Blame her for it. Personally, I think she did a great job.
Sad but heartfelt. Nice small chapter.
I had to look up the song.... I guess it's okay, but it's hard for us old-timers to get into that newfangled stuff.
Celestia's wistful sorrow combined with the name "Moonchild" at first made me think of a song by that same name off King Crimson's classic debut album.
And as for Robin? I'd say Dan Fogelberg's "Wishing on the Moon" from the Phoenix album was written just for him.
Time is irrelevant.
Hey, I was listening to the album last night and it got into Ayne's head. I didn't make the connection until she said, "the song sounds like Luna." and started writing it.
And looking up the Fogelberg song? Yup, very much so.
Not exactly. Time isn't irrelevant when you're a mortal. Even if she returns to him somehow, there's still the Mayfly-December issue to work through, and all the other stuff.
>>649583649583 she did good I couldnt tell the difference to be honest the side stories are really good cant wait for the next
Very good read, fits right in with the rest of what you've already put down in words. The majority of these stories seem to have a common trend, though, in that the opening bits sometimes make me wonder if I've lost my place in the story. Here, the mention of the "war with NMM" and "Luna's betrayal" caught me off guard as, while time skips are nothing new at this point, I was not expecting a 1000+ year timeskip, and so I assumed we'd somehow gone into the future
Still, it provides some great insight to Celestia's though processes, even if it's this early in the timeline, and how the historical plot hole of where the Alicorns fit in with Hearth's Warming Eve gets fixed is easy to put into pseudo-cannon. It also helps explain why the princesses had abandoned their old home in the middle of the most dangerous place in the land and why the pony demigod monarch only has a title of Princess in-cannon while others like Chrysalis can go all evil Disney and be Queens.
But would that make Craig McKracken the pony king?
Dude, I don't even have the words. These side stories add so much depth.
I'll repeat what I said before, this is the most interesting explanation retcon that I've ever seen.