• Member Since 26th Nov, 2012
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DoctorSpectrum

Twilight Sparkle is best pony, OctaScratch is OTP. Thanks for checking out my stories and/or profile!

DoctorSpectrum Joined 26th Nov, 2012 · Offline

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This story is a sequel to Vinyl and Octavia Join COBRA

With their new job as COBRA Troopers finally starting to give them some vague semblance of a normal life back, it sure would be a pity if Vinyl and Octavia found themselves hurled through random time periods in Equestria, wouldn't it?

It'd be even more of a pity if they never got home. But I'm sure that wouldn't happen.

Thanks to Josh P for the cover art!

The Vinyl and Octavia Series
1. Vinyl and Octavia Machete Their Way Through the Jungle
2. Vinyl and Octavia Move House
3. Vinyl and Octavia Get Incredibly Drunk
4. Vinyl and Octavia are Forcibly Shipped
5. Vinyl and Octavia Fight Ten Thousand Ninjas
6. Vinyl and Octavia Have Multiple Dates
7. Vinyl and Octavia Engage in Roleplay
8. Vinyl and Octavia in 'Dial D for Detectives'
9. Vinyl and Octavia Duel Destiny
10. Vinyl and Octavia Bust Out of Prison
11. Vinyl and Octavia Join COBRA
12. Vinyl and Octavia Break the Timestream
13. Vinyl and Octavia Rob a Casino
14. Vinyl and Octavia's Freaky Day
15. Vinyl and Octavia Jump the Shark
Chapters (5)
Complete Published: Apr 25th, 2015 Download
38,305 words
Comments ( 31 )
ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #2 · Apr 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter One: Clock Blockers ·
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“Ponyville doesn’t – what?!” exclaimed Octavia, following Vinyl’s hoof. Sure enough, less than two hundred metres away were large quadrupedal dinosaurs with long necks – possibly apatosauruses, although it was hard to tell. They were peacefully eating grass, apparently not having noticed the two ponies who had teleported into the middle of the field.

ApatosaurI.

“Did Serpent Superior say where the scroll was situated?” whispered Vinyl. The chaos that had first erupted when COBRA had arrived at the library had mostly subsided, but there was no telling where any conscious CHIELD Agents could be, nor how many of their COBRA allies were still in fighting condition.
“He said that we’d have to just check room by room,” whispered Octavia back. “And nice alliteration, by the way.”

Indeed.

“Yeah,” said Vinyl, nodding. “It was pretty complex from what I could understand of it – I guess more skilled ponies than me could subtly manipulate the web of magic to transport them to a specific time. Since I didn’t know crap about it, I unintentionally randomly threw us here. At least, that’s my theory.”

Fair enough.

“So, like, right now, I can’t control the time travel spell, right?” Vinyl said. “But one day, maybe I’ll be able to, and when I can, I can time travel to wherever – no, whenever – I want!”
“Celestia and Luna help us the day that happens,” muttered Octavia under her breath.

ç

HAH!

“Great, guess I never master using the time travel spell then,” said Vinyl. As she spoke, a new thought occurred to her. “Do you think that means…maybe we never get home? We just…bounce around the timestream, hoping that one day we travel to our home time…but never getting there?”

That's a grim Quantum leap reference.

“Hello, Vinyl,” said a voice.
“Hello, Octavia,” said another.
“You!” gasped Vinyl and Octavia, at the exact same time.

Well then. Dr Whooves is not going to be pleased that they broke the timestream, but, meeting yourself.

Ri2
Ri2 #3 · Apr 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter One: Clock Blockers ·
Reply

I'm relatively certain Apatosaurs don't eat grass. They're like giraffes, wouldn't it make more sense for them to eat from trees?

DoctorSpectrum
DoctorSpectrum #4 · Apr 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter One: Clock Blockers ·
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5905195
Fair call; changed the plural.

5905820
Um...these are...Equestrian Apatosaurs? Which means that they eat grass...for some reason.

ChaosD3mon
ChaosD3mon #5 · Apr 26th, 2015 · · · Chapter Two: Meanwhile, in the Future ·
Reply

This is totally awesome, but I'm really curious about future Vinyls robot leg, and I love how you put the number 42 in there

ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #6 · Apr 26th, 2015 · · · Chapter Two: Meanwhile, in the Future ·
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“It’s the principle of the thing,” said Vinyl. “Travelling somewhere by hoverboard is waaay cooler than walking there! Plus, we’re in the future. Do you want to say that you’ve been to the future but you didn’t fly on a hoverboard while you were there?”

She's right.

“Isn’t that why we’re going to your guys’ house?” asked Vinyl back. “To get a room?”

Oh I like her.

“…Time travel is really weird and confusing,” said Octavia, breaking the silence. Everypony nodded in agreement.

Agreed.

“By the way,” began Vinyl, apparently not noticing what Future Vinyl and Future Octavia were up to, “I’ve been meaning to ask since we got here, and I figure now’s as good an opportunity as ever – Future Vinyl, what’s with the eyepatch and the cyborg leg? Does something terrible happen to me in the future?”
“Oh, this thing?” asked Vinyl, pointing to her eyepatch with a hoof. “I totally wore it to look cool in front of you guys! Everyone knows that future versions of ponies always wear eyepatches!” As she spoke, she lifted up the patch to show a perfectly normal eye underneath.

She's no wrong.

“Don’t worry, Octavia – when I fly the hoverboard in the future, I sure won’t crash into the streetlight,” said Vinyl across the gap between the two ponies. “I’ll even avoid it while wearing the eyepatch! It’ll look super cool!”
“That one bit of dialogue says so much about you, Vinyl,” said Octavia, smirking.

Ouch!

“I can believe that,” said Octavia. “This tea is simply fabulous!” She took a sip of it, savouring every drop as it entered her mouth. The two ponies were sitting outdoors at a café, drinking tea and sharing a piece of cake. Since it was a weekday, it wasn’t too busy, and the ponies had some relative peace and quiet.

Of course.

Octavia found herself smiling as she drank from her tea. “No, you’re right, both with regards to life being hectic and my recent history. It certainly has been all over the place.” Octavia found herself staring into her tea as she spoke. “I suppose that if it weren’t for this time travel incident, it wouldn’t be that bad – Vinyl and I have somewhat managed to stabilise our lives since we escaped from jail. It’s just a good thing that we’ve found an organisation as friendly and trustworthy as COBRA who accepted us.”
Future Octavia smirked at that, but didn’t say anything.

If only she knew.

“And after all, time stops for no pony!” said Future Vinyl happily. Future Octavia frowned at her.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked, confused.
“Nothing!” said Future Vinyl. “But I’ve been wanting to say it all day, and I’m sick of waiting!”

Fair enough.

“Just a thought I had,” said Future Octavia. “Imagine if we’d told them that not only are we married, but what happened right after the wedding…”

Go on.

DJ RockinHoof
DJ RockinHoof #8 · Apr 27th, 2015 · · · Chapter Two: Meanwhile, in the Future ·
Reply

I'm loving this! Nice work! Can't wait for more! XD

ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #9 · Jun 2nd, 2015 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
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“Speak, messenger,” said the queen, idly examining a hoof of hers as she did so. “Speak, that I may know this news of utmost importance, and find out what happens in my lands. Speak, that I may decide what to do with this information, and act accordingly.”

You're calm I see.

“Of course, my lady,” said the messenger, still kneeling before the queen. His knees were already aching on the cold, stone floor, but he didn’t say anything about it. Although there were several torches lit around the room, attached to large columns supporting the ceiling, the throne room was as cold as it got. The lack of ponies in the room – aside from the queen and the messenger, there were just a few ministers and guards – only contributed to the cold.

Makes sense.

“The news that I have for you, the news that has brought me from the farthest corner of the castle to thine throne room, shall be spoken, your majesty. I am sure that it shall please thee, for –”
“Yeah, yeah, hurry it up, buddy,” said the queen impatiently, waving a hoof. A few of her ministers gave her odd looks.

Hurry it up buddy? Hm...

“Of course, your majesty. Mine most important news is as follows – ” the messengers took a moment to clear his throat “- thine hoofmaiden wouldst speak to thee, if it is acceptable.”
“Mine hoofmaiden wishes to speak to me, eh?” asked the queen, placing a hoof to her chin. “Very well then, if that be her wish, then by all means shall I speak with her! Ministers! I shall take my leave, that I wouldst commune with mine hoofmaiden.”

What are you planning?

“But your majesty, we still have yet to discuss thine trading agreement with the pegasi,” said one minister. The others around him nodded.
“In addition, we would have need to speak to thee about thine additional funding to the magical research division,” added another minister. “Couldst thou not wait until thine – uh, ‘evening ministrations’ – with thine hoofmaiden to speak to her?”
The queen stood up off her throne, glaring at her ministers. “Stallions! Am I not the queen? Am I not thine ruler? If I wish to speak to mine hoofmaiden, I shall do it at a time of mine pleasing, not at a time of thine pleasing! So I say, and so it shall be!” With that, she turned her back to them without waiting for a reply, and exited the throne room, heading off to find her hoofmaiden.

Yeah, just a tip, don't piss off your ruler.

It didn’t take her long to find her. “Your majesty,” said the hoofmaiden, kneeling before the queen as she entered the bedroom where she was. There was a large bed next to the hoofmaiden, and all around the room were various dressers and cupboards, presumably containing clothes. One wall was covered mostly by a tapestry. Like the rest of the castle, the room was made of stone.
“Ah, cut out that ‘your majesty’ crap around me, Octavia,” said the queen, shutting the door behind her. “I know you’re taking the piss, but gee, I just need to – I dunno, hear somepony speak modern Equestrian.”

Vinyl?

“Vinyl, even though this isn’t our native time, this is technically modern Equestria, to all of the ponies here,” said Octavia. “We are in a time before the three tribes worked together to form Equestria, after all.”

Ah, so pre Windigos.

“Forgive my impatience, but…” Octavia grimaced. “Any luck on casting the time travel spell yet?”
“Let’s give it a go and see,” said Vinyl. As usual, her horn glowed a light blue colour as she summoned up the magical energy necessary to cast the spell. As with the last few times she had tried it, however, she soon began wincing with pain, and it wasn’t long before her head had begun to ache enough that she cancelled out the spell. “No dice.”
“Damn,” said Octavia, punching a wall lightly in frustration. “Two weeks!” she said, more harshly and impatiently. “Two whole weeks we’ve been here, and even though you’re fine with most of your magic, you still can’t cast this one damn spell!”

Hey, I doubt it's an easy spell, what do you want, it's highly magic consuming, it's hard to pull off and she's no Twilight Sparkle.

“Why? Why doesn’t that damn spell work?” she asked rhetorically. “When are we going to get the bloody hell home?!”
“Octavia!” exclaimed Vinyl. “Calm down, babe. It’s gonna be alright.”

Thank you.

Octavia looked as though she wanted to keep venting her anger, but instead, she took a deep breath, then jumped onto the bed so that she was lying beside Vinyl. “Sorry, Vinyl,” she said, “it’s just that being here for so long without any sign of when we can leave…it’s frustrating to say the least. In the previous time periods, at least we left fairly early and had our future selves to help us, respectively.”

No worries.

Vinyl nudged herself closer to Octavia. “Yeah, being here kinda is a bitch. The only reason I can think for the spell still not working –”
“- is because you were drunk when you cast it, so it messed with how badly the spell affected you, yes,” said Octavia, finishing Vinyl’s sentence. “We’ve discussed this several times.” Octavia rolled over, so that she was on her side facing Vinyl.
“Saying it out loud helps me to think about it,” explained Vinyl, sounding a little sheepish. As she started to stroke Octavia’s hair, she added, “On the plus side, considering that we’re in that time of history before the unification of the three tribes, things could always be a lot worse.”

Fair enough.

“You just say that because you’re the queen of the unicorns!” said Octavia, laughing slightly. “I still can’t believe that because of that – because of that bloody picture you drew in that cave all those millions of years ago of yourself, they thought that you were the deity ‘Awesome’, and made you a queen. It’s ridiculous, is what it is!”

This proves it. Vinyl Scratch is best pony.

“Are you kidding?! It’s amazing!” said Vinyl, also starting to laugh now. “Do you know how great it is to be queen?!”
“I’m surprised that you’ve kept the position,” said Octavia, serious now. “Since when have you been into politics? I thought you hated them.”
“I do!” said Vinyl, sitting upright as she spoke. “But I figure that while I’m in a position of power, I can be a sort of a…frozen horse in the system, y’know?”

Fair enough, but don't you mean Trojan?

Octavia stared at Vinyl as she too sat upright, unsure what to say to that. She opened her mouth, trying to work out where to start in correcting Vinyl’s choice of words. How to even begin to explain to Vinyl the concept of one of the most ingenious and legendary ways to win a war, and how it later became a figure of speech? Even as Octavia opened her mouth to speak, she found herself closing it, already foreseeing Vinyl’s lack of interest in the topic by her excited, puppy-like expression.

Smart.

“See, I figure that while I’m here,” said Vinyl, noticing Octavia’s confusion, “I’ll set things up! I’ll plant sleeping agents, and then years later – when we’re in our own time – everything will come together! They’ll wake up, and they’ll help me start anarchy in Equestria! Anarchy will reign, and during this period of anarchy, I will be the pony who rules!”
“Oh really?” asked Octavia playfully. “What about your marefriend, huh?” She lightly punched Vinyl, causing her to giggle. “Don’t I get to rule in this…anarchy?” Octavia’s voice trailed off as she realised exactly what she’d said, and how little sense it made.

Make sense? Oh what fun is there in making sense?

At this stage in the conversation, Octavia would have continued to teasingly punch Vinyl, perhaps ending the conversation with some light-hearted tickling, or kissing. It was a prospect she was fully prepared for and fully looking forwards to. As it was, as Octavia drew back her hoof oh-so-slightly, several things happened – the door to the room burst open, the doors to both of the cupboards swung open, and in front of the tapestry, a small surge of magic revealed a pony who had been pressed against the wall, apparently hidden by magic until the time was right to strike.
From the cupboards and the door to the room, unicorns leapt out, one through each entrance. They wore no clothes or distinguishing items, save for a rag tied around each of their muzzles, disguising them at least partially. As was to be expected, they were unicorns. Each of them, as well as the pony who had been hidden against the tapestry, wielded a weapon of some sort – swords, daggers, axes, and even a mace. The ponies all, without needing to say anything, begun to approach the two mares on the bed.

Assassins.

Fortunately, Vinyl and Octavia’s instincts had been honed by the multitude of fights they had participated in by this stage of their lives, in addition to their COBRA training, and so their reaction was immediate. Both ponies leapt up so that they were standing on the bed, and stood with their flanks together, covering sides of the bed. As it was against a wall, naturally, there was little chance of them being flanked.

Nice thinking.

“Vinyl? Any idea who these ponies are?” Octavia asked, preparing herself to leap forwards and drive her hoof into the nearest pony.
“I must be a better ruler than I thought!” said Vinyl excitedly. “I must have organised the sleeping agents without realising it, and now they’re ready to strike! Begin the revolution!” To her side, a loud smacking noise was heard as Octavia slammed a hoof into her face.

You're insane. Also, realiZing.

“By the spirits of chaos and order, ‘twould seem that the queen is as much a problem as they say she is!” said one of the ponies, pausing as he reached the edge of the bed in apparent surprise.
“Forsooth, mine ally,” said the pony next to him. “Brothers! Let us all carry out this mission which we have been granted, that order may be restored to the kingdom! We must deal with this problem and eliminate the Earth pony!”

Good luck with that. Also, what does Forsooth mean anyway?

“Deal with this problem? You ponies are trying to kill Vinyl and I?” asked Octavia, bouncing slightly on the bed’s springs. Using the momentum from it, she flew off the bed and towards the nearest pony, crashing into him with her full body weight behind her. From there, she rolled off him and into the pony behind him, who fortunately didn’t have the sense of mind to levitate his sword blade-first before him.

Yep.

For her part, Vinyl did a backwards somersault as one of the assassins climbed onto the bed, before levitating his sword downwards away from her. It stabbed into the mattress harmlessly, a moment before Vinyl levitated it back so that the handle hit the assassin on the chin firmly. “Aw man, my bed’s totally got a rip in it!” she complained as she bounced forwards, using the mattress’ springs for momentum as Octavia had, punching her assassin in the face. “Now I’m going to have to get a new cover for it and everything!”
“That’s your biggest concern in all of this?” asked Octavia as she slid her back hooves against one of the attackers in a sweeping motion, knocking him to the ground. “That your covers – argh!” Not looking behind her, she had received an axe wound to the shoulder. In response, she grabbed the attacker’s head and forcefully pushed it into the ground with as much strength as she could muster. “That your covers got ripped?” Octavia panted as she turned back to face the pony she’d knocked to the ground, who was already on his hooves.

I do love Casual Danger Dialogue.

“Hey, these are really nice covers!” said Vinyl, lazily using her magic to grab the assailant on the bed and throw him to the ground. “You should know – you sleep in this bed too!” Vinyl jumped off the bed and landed directly onto the pony she’d thrown off, knocking the wind out of him.

True.

Octavia, for her part, was rapidly backing away from one of the attackers, who was now swinging his sword in broad arcs at her. Having regained his composure after her initial attack, he was smart enough not to let her get close to her after seeing what she had done to his associates. Gritting her teeth, Octavia looked for a way to get past the sword and to the vulnerable pony, but saw no immediate way. The assassin grinned, aware of the advantage he had.
“Give up information on thine Earth pony masters – tell us how thou hast brainwashed our queen – and I might let you live,” the assassin said, rotating his sword so that the tip was pointed directly at Octavia.

Brainwashed? How cute.

“Thou wouldst willingly work for a unicorn?” scoffed the assassin. “You lie! No Earth pony would work for a unicorn – for what force in this land could make two separate races work together? What force could make thou treat thine queen as an equal, as she treat you as one?” he asked. “No, thou wouldst rather die than work with a unicorn! And die you shall!” With that, he used his telekinesis to throw the sword at Octavia, the point flying towards her.

Love is a crazy force. And die? Tavi? Nope.

Octavia had been prepared for it, but still hesitated for a split second as she registered that, yes, avoiding the sword was what she wanted to do. Throwing herself to the floor, Octavia knocked the wind out of herself, the sword flying over her head a moment after she had done so. With the force it had been thrown at, it stuck into the bed, vibrating silently. Octavia released a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding, realising how closely she had just come to death.

Yikes. Also, realiZed and realiZing.

“You…assassin…” she said, grinning at the assassin. “Whoever you are – whatever your name is – I don’t care. You say that there’s no force that could get two ponies such as Vinyl and I to work together?”
Scowling, the assassin pulled his sword out of the bed, and aimed it so that it was pointing towards Octavia, still lying prone on the ground. “Thine last moments are swiftly approaching,” said the assassin quietly. “For thine own sake, thou may wish not to lie to thineself in them.”
“There is a force that exists, and it has a name,” said Octavia, still grinning. A second later, a giant white blur flew across the room and tackled the assassin to the ground, causing him to lose his grip on his sword. “It’s called love,” Octavia said, getting up and walking over to her partner beating up the assassin.

This. Just this.

“I don’t think you could have said that any cheesier if you’d wanted to,” said Vinyl, momentarily stopping her assault to face Octavia. “Good timing though – I’d just finished knocking out the rest of the assassins, so this guy’s the only one left. Now, about those bed covers…”
Octavia rolled her eyes. “There’ll be some spare covers in a cupboard somewhere, Vinyl,” she said.
“The cupboard!” gasped Vinyl. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”

I love how calm they are.

“Thou thinkest that I would answer thou, an Earth pony? Or the queen she has enslaved?” the assassin asked, grinning in spite of his injuries. “Thou must think me a fool. Why wouldst I do that?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” asked Octavia. “We can hurt you much further if we want.”

Not sure how much of this is a bluff.

“Be that as it may…” said Octavia, shaking her head slightly but smiling nonetheless, “tell us who sent you to kill us,” she said to the assassin.
The assassin’s grin widened. “How about…no?” he asked. Before Vinyl or Octavia could react, he had slammed his head into the ground, knocking himself out. The two took a moment to take it in, not having expected it.
“Crap,” said Vinyl, breaking the silence, “can you believe all of that blood he just left?”

I know, not to mention it's hard to clean, especially now.

“So, you think that one of your ministers sent the assassins?” said Octavia quietly. After calling some guards to clean up the mess that had been caused by the attack and getting medical attention to where Octavia had been stabbed by the axe, which was now covered in bandages, the two ponies were slowly walking through the corridors of the castle. There was to be a banquet that night- as it was, there was a banquet in the castle virtually every night, it being the norm for the cooks of the castle to provide an overly elaborate meal for their queen – and they were slowly heading to the large dining hall through the castle corridors.
“It makes sense, Octavia,” said Vinyl. “Whoever hired the assassins would have to have a lot of money, which the ministers would have, and whoever it is would want to benefit from both our deaths – I secretly named you my successor should I die before we time travel out of here, which many ponies don’t know, so whoever wanted us both killed obviously wants the power of the throne for themselves, and is trying to get it. Any one of the ministers would be able to install and manipulate a puppet leader if we were both killed, so it must have been one of them.”

Impressive logic, but who?

“Sure thing – I don’t think we’ve done political intrigue before, have we?” asked Vinyl. “Should be good fun, if we can pull it off.”

Good fun, first time I've heard that used to describe political intrigue.

Vinyl gave a small shrug. “I dunno, Octavia. They’re professionals, so they might be trained not to talk, but you did see me tell the guards to interrogate them, so who knows what will turn up?” She looked a bit hesitant. “I’ve got to say though – I’m a little worried about this banquet. If I’m right, and one of the ministers is behind the attack, then they’ll know by now that I’m still alive. There could be another assassination attempt on us later tonight.”

Maybe.

“In a large, public area like the dining hall?” asked Octavia incredulously. She shook her head. “Somehow, I don’t see an assassination attempt happening in such an open place as here.” As she spoke, she and Vinyl entered a large hall filled with long, rectangular tables. Most seats were already filled, with the exception of two at the head of the table. There were candles and fireplaces lit for light and warmth, and although there was food placed on the tables, none of it had been eaten yet. As soon as everypony noticed the two new arrivals, they all stopped what they were doing and greeted them warmly.

Hm.

“Huh, maybe you’re right, Octavia,” said Vinyl as she and Octavia walked to their seats at the head of the table, directly below a chandelier. “Seeing all these ponies here…yeah, this does feel pretty safe.” She sat down in her seat, which was a large, ornate chair. To her left sat Octavia, whose chair was less fancy but still more comfortable than most other ponies’, and to her right sat a minister dressed in black robes. With Vinyl seated, the ponies all took this as a sign that they could begin eating.

I think I know our culprit.

“Ah, you have returned, mine queen!” said the minister warmly. “Good to see that thou art doing well after that assassination attempt which mine hooves definitely were not behind!”

“Thanks, Minister von Doom, amateur poison brewer!” said Vinyl cheerfully.

Figures. I wondered when shenanigans would begin.

“Before thou begins thine meal, wouldst thou like to partake in this particular formula which I have concocted with mine own hooves?” asked Minister von Doom. As he spoke, he levitated over a goblet with a bubbling, acidic-smelling liquid inside it. It sizzled slightly in the goblet as it was moved over to Vinyl. “I can assure thee, it will most certainly change thine and thine hoofmaiden’s lives greatly once it has been ingested.”

Subtle.

“Pfft! What, you think that lovable old Minister von Doom, a former necromancer and chemical expert, would be brewing something poisonous for us to drink?” Vinyl scoffed. Leaning in closer to Octavia, she muttered, “It’s that Minister Peace that we need to really keep an eye on. I don’t think I trust a pony with a name like that…”

“You mean the only member of your court other than yourself to treat me as an equal?” Octavia asked.
“She’s obviously just trying to lure you into her circle of trust, so she can take advantage of you!” exclaimed Vinyl, slightly too loudly. “But too bad for her that we saw through her nefarious plan, right, Octavia?”

Your Wrong Genre Savviness is amazing. Mind you it's be an amazing twist if she was right

“Everypony is looking at you, Vinyl,” whispered Octavia. It was true; most of the ponies in the room were looking up from their meal and to their queen, shouting out some sort of conspiracy theory.

“So they should be! I’m their damn queen!” said Vinyl excitedly, standing up as she pounded a hoof on the table. A moment later, she sat back down and spoke to Octavia as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Now, where were we?”

Wow. Wow.

“You were about to drink mine delicious potion, your majesty,” said Minister von Doom, who had been watching the two ponies as they spoke. “I wouldst appreciate it if thou wouldst drink it now, whilst the brew is most…potent.”

“Sure thing!” said Vinyl, reaching out for the goblet with a hoof. She picked it up and was just about to drink it, when –

“Wait!” said Octavia. Vinyl paused. “Can I drink it first? It looks delicious, and I don’t think I can wait any longer to try it.”

“Sure!” said Vinyl, without hesitation. She passed it to Octavia, who, without hesitation in spite of Minister von Doom watching her, tipped it upside down so that all of the contents spilled onto the table. Where they landed, a strong hissing noise could be heard, and smoke appeared. Within moments the effects of the liquid were readily seen, as it ate greedily into the wood of the table. Amongst the loud talking, eating, and drinking, nopony noticed aside from Octavia, Vinyl, and Minister von Doom.

Of course.

“Curses! Were I an assassin attempting to kill the queen and you, her hoofmaiden, that would have foiled my plan, and that is what I would have said,” said Minister von Doom coldly. “Luckily for you, I am not, or I would surely have further plans in place for should that one fail.”

Were all ponies back then this unsubtle? Because I think if Octavia were Queen, this moron would be dead already.

Vinyl nodded in agreement to von Doom and leaned in to Octavia. “He’s got a good point – it’s a good thing that he’s not an assassin, or we’d totally be at his mercy!”

“…When you say things like that, Vinyl, I honestly wonder about you,” said Octavia. “How could you seriously not be suspicious of that?”

Same.

“Either way, Minister von Doom’s got a point!” said Vinyl. “There could be an assassin around here - we’d better keep our eyes peeled extra-wide!”

“Keep thine eyes peeled for what?” asked a new arrival to the table. A pink-coated unicorn with a yellow mane had just approached Vinyl and Octavia.

“Speak of the devil,” growled Vinyl under her breath.

Oi...:facehoof:

“Oh, goodness, it would take a lot more than that to stop Vinyl!” said Octavia, laughing jovially. To her side, Vinyl was busily talking to Minister von Doom once more. “At least, for as long as I’m by her side.”

Indeed.

“Yes, well, remind me to tell you of how Vinyl and I met sometime…or maybe don’t, it probably won’t make a lot of sense from your perspective,” said Octavia, smiling at the memory. Turning her attention to Minister Peace, she found the unicorn staring upwards at the ceiling before breaking off from whatever she was looking at.

Most likely not, no.

“Huh?” Vinyl asked, turning from Minister von Doom. “Oh, y’know, I’m fine. It’d take more than that to stop me, especially while I’ve got my bestest buddy Octavia by my side!” Turning to Octavia, she said, much more enthusiastically than she had said to Minister Peace, “Hey Octavia, did you know that Minister von Doom here once nearly created a spell to destroy all non-unicorns in Equestria back in his necromancer days? How cool is that?!”

Why aren't you acting any more? Are you this stupid? Also, SAY WHAT!?

“From a magical perspective, of course,” added Vinyl casually, apparently unaware of the effect her words had had on Octavia. “A spell like that would be…well, it would be even more complex and powerful than the- you know.” She lowered her voice and leant in towards Octavia. “Than the time travel spell that brought us here.”

I see.

Minister von Doom nodded, in spite of not having heard Vinyl’s last few words. “I mayhaps could have completed it had I had more corpses to experiment with , but there are never enough around to work with,” he said, grinning.

“Isn’t that just always the case?!” agreed Vinyl. “Probably. I dunno. I haven’t tried necromancy yet.”

“…Oh sweet mother of Celestia, the spirit zombies are coming,” said Octavia, wincing.

Eh?

“I know not of what you ponies are speaking, but nevertheless, I think I had best return to mine seat now that I know mine queen is safe,” said Minister Peace to the entire group. “Mayhaps I shall return later in the eve – it depends upon what happens next.” With a polite nod to everypony, she walked off, slowing briefly as she cast her eyes upwards above the ponies once more.

“Minister Peace?” muttered Octavia, frowning as she followed the unicorn’s gaze. “What are you looking –” Reacting with the speed of thought, Octavia kicked herself out of her chair and launched herself at Vinyl in the one motion as hard as she could. Forcing her body weight into the pony as she had one of the assassins earlier, Octavia’s leap knocked Vinyl into Minister von Doom, sending all three to the floor, grazing themselves in the process. Not a second later the gigantic chandelier, which the three had been sitting below obliviously, crashed into the table and seats heavily. For several moments Vinyl, Octavia, and Minister von Doom simply stared at it in silence, realising how close they had been to death.

Oh, well then. Dark. Also, realiZing.

“It’s Minister Peace,” said Vinyl, walking Octavia over to a corner where they wouldn’t be heard as easily. “What should we do about her?”

Octavia frowned. “…Invite her to our table?”

“I mean about the fact that she probably tried to assassinate us,” said Vinyl seriously. “I think that she used her magic to loosen the chandelier just then – don’t you find it a bit suspicious that it fell down just as she was leaving?”

You know, when I said that it'd be cool if Minister Peace WAS behind the assassination attempts, I WAS F*CKING KIDDING!

“What? No, it was a coincidence,” said Octavia. “Probably,” she added as Vinyl raised her eyebrows.

“You don’t think it’s suspicious?” asked Vinyl. “The way she’s been trying to manipulate you, get you into her circle?”

“That’s what makes you think that she’s behind the assassins?” asked Octavia. “Because she’s trying to be friendly to me?”

“Well, that and the face that her name is ‘Peace’,” said Vinyl, waving a hoof in the air idly. “C’mon, bad guys in stories like this always have names like that for irony.”

Not always.

Octavia rubbed a hoof into her eyes in apparent tiredness. “You’re not going to address the fact that he tried getting us to drink…I don’t know, poison? Acid?”

“…You have no way of proving that,” said Vinyl, pointing a hoof at Octavia. “Minister von Doom is a perfectly friendly and normal pony, and I’ll bet that he’s a hell of a lot more innocent than Minister Peace!”

What are you on about?

“…Oh, I meant it more like, a figure of speech,” said Octavia after a moment of confusion. “You know, it says a lot about how much we’ve survived and our confidence as a result that we place bets on who’s trying to kill us.”

I know.

“Then you get the satisfaction of telling me that you were right in Pony Heaven,” said Vinyl, “because it would be pretty damn unexpected if an assassination attempt came from von Doom.” She suddenly gasped as a new train of thought hit her. “What if we became ghosts, instead? We could haunt Equestria, and go wherever we want… how cool would that be? ‘Vinyl and Octavia Become Ghosts’?”

This thing's sequel?

“That’s what you say, Octavia,” said Vinyl as she trotted over to a table with her partner, “but just you wait and see! Maybe we’ll end up become ghosts in the very next time period we visit!” Sitting next to Minister von Doom, who had also relocated after the chandelier had crashed, she greeted him with a friendly, “Hi, Minister von Doom, my most friendly and reformed of ministers, who would never attempt to kill Octavia and I!”

“Hello, mine queen, the monarch whom I definitely adore and would never plot to kill,” returned Minister von Doom. “May I give you a hug, that I may show my concern for you?”

“Sure!” said Vinyl, reaching out her forelegs to Minister von Doom. He too stretched out his forelegs, as something glinted in a hoof-

“No!” exclaimed Octavia, grabbing Vinyl and pulling her backwards. A moment later, the dagger in Minister von Doom’s hoof stabbed at where Vinyl’s back would have been. Roughly pushing Vinyl, who still wasn’t sure what had just happened, to one side, Octavia took a step forwards and punched von Doom in the muzzle.

Or I was wrong?

“Fear not, mine friend, for the explanation is a simple one!” said von Doom. “I had been eating mine meal with that…dagger…and had forgotten to let go of it during the hug. A simple explanation, yes?” All around the room, the crowd breathed sighs of relief.

“The dagger has a tag attached to it saying, ‘May the puppet queen die!’” said Octavia, frowning. She increased the pressure her hoof was placing on von Doom’s throat slightly.

“Part of a complex spell designed to keep the dagger clean at all times.”

“The stabbing motion you made once I pulled Vinyl away?”

“Mine attempt to calm the queen via application of force to certain pressure points.”

YOU SIT UPON A THRONE OF LIES

Vinyl shrugged playfully. “Hey, it’s only loveable old Minister von Doom! How could a guy like him be trying to kill me?”

Let me count the ways.

“Right. Don’t let von Doom out of the room if he has weapons on him,” one of the guards confirmed cheerfully. Octavia frowned.

“Err…no, don’t let him out no matter what. But make sure that he doesn’t have any weapons on him while you’re at it.”

“Make sure he’s got weapons on him when he’s let out,” said the same guard, nodding in confirmation.

“…Let him out under no circumstances,” said Octavia seriously. “Do you understand that?”

“Yes, of course,” said the guard, smiling.

“And check to see what weapons he has,” said Octavia. “Can you do that?”

“Of course,” said the guard. “Just one question – if he has no weapons when we search him, do we give him ours?”

“Because I want to stay calm for you,” said Vinyl simply. Octavia’s breath caught. “I hate seeing you stressing out and reacting like this. I want to try and get you to calm down and get through all of this with me like the intelligent pony I know you are.”

Wow, that's, very sweet of her.

Next to her, Octavia was vaguely aware of Vinyl moving about and…shouting? But if she was shouting, why did her voice sound like it was so far away? Remembering that she had been looking for the source of the noise, Octavia forced herself to focus, and found it – the window, the one which took up nearly half of a wall, had a few panes shattered. Had they been the source of the cracking noise? But how had they been broken?

A moment later, there was that same cracking noise again as the windows shattered, somewhat answering Octavia’s question. But what had broken them? And what did it have to do with the fact that Octavia felt as though somepony had just punched her heavily in the chest? And why was her blood starting to seep out from her body where it felt like she had been punched? Blood wasn’t supposed to do that; it was supposed to carry around oxygen and chemicals and do all those other things that you never listened to in school.

Oh crap.

“…That’s a terrible position to be shooting from,” said Vinyl to herself, frowning. “And what’s with the dark cloak? Stereotypical much?” A moment later, she ducked out of sight as another bolt fired towards the window, missing her by millimetres.

Be that as it may, it worked.

Octavia smiled. “Heh. You know that these bolts are plugging their wounds right now, yes? They’ve ripped through some muscle, but –”

“How the hay do you know all of that?” Vinyl interrupted, surprised.

“One semester of medical biology in university as an elective,” said Octavia. “Also, it’s somewhat logical.”

True, best keep them in for now, then only yank them out when you have a unicorn who can heal your wounds.

“…You mean Minister Peace,” said Vinyl, deadpan. “There’s no way that von Doom could have gotten to the courtyard from the dining hall that fast.”

Whatever.

“Epic bed maneuver!” exclaimed Vinyl, jumping from the room onto the bed’s mattress, half of which was leaning precariously outside the window. Falling outside with her weight and momentum added to it, it accelerated downwards several storeys before hitting the group. It immediately broke, sending Vinyl flying forwards across the grass. She managed to land on her legs, but it was quite heavily, and she collapsed to the ground. “That…didn’t go as well as I hoped it would,” she groaned.

Indeed.

Minister Peace looked slightly confused for a moment, before reasserting herself. Although Vinyl had full view of her face from her position, Peace nevertheless pulled her dark cloak around herself tighter. “I suppose that those dying words wouldst be as good as any,” she said. “With thine death, I will reclaim the political power that I lost when thou arrived in this time, and I-”

“Hang on a second, how do you know that Octavia and I are from a different time?” asked Vinyl. Her legs were sore and damaged, but by straining herself she was able to keep herself upright. “And what do you mean, ‘reclaim political power’?”

“Thou and thine hoofmaiden have made little attempt at hiding thine differing speech patterns, nor thine relationship,” sneered Peace. “To a pony such as I, such things are unthinkable, and thus thou must be from an alternate dimension.”

She's right. Also, I WAS F*CKING KIDDING!

“And how canst thou not know of thine usurping of mine throne?” interrupted Peace. “I was the queen before thou arrived here, at which point I had the position taken from me. Didst thou not pay attention? Do thou not recall that I became a minister as a downgrade from mine previous position?”

“Er….maybe I wasn’t paying much attention during the first day or two when we arrived here?” said Vinyl awkwardly. “So what, your big plan is to shoot me and Octavia, then you automatically get the throne back? Seems to me your plan has a few flaws.”

“No doubt I will have to do some political manipulations in order to restore mineself to mine previous position,” said Minister Peace, “and I will have to find an alibi, but those problems should be easy enough to solve.”

“Umm… I was kinda talking about the other flaw. The big one,” said Vinyl. Minister Peace raised an eyebrow. “I’m still alive, you idiot.”

She's right.

Her innate unicorn magic activating, Vinyl surrounded Minister Peace’s crossbow with a magical aura and twisted it ninety degrees sideways. At the same time, Peace had gone to fire the crossbow, resulting in her shooting herself with a bolt to the shoulder.

“Argh!” she cried out. In her pain, she lost focus and dropped the magical aura she had been using to hold the crossbow up, causing it to drop to the ground. Exploiting this opportunity, Vinyl took a swift step forwards and punched Peace to the ground.

“That’s COBRA training for you, bitch,” she said, grinning. “Also, ouch,” she added, rubbing one hoof over the one she had punched Minister Peace with.

Badass Vinyl is bet Vinyl.

“Minister von Doom! I know!” said Octavia excitedly.

Say what?

“I was heading to somepony who could help heal me, when Minister von Doom stepped out of a side door and attempted one of his trademark obviously telegraphed assassination attempts,” explained Octavia. “It was all very elaborate…some sort of swinging log trap. I don’t know why he thought that it would stop me. Anyway, I was able to avoid death by very cleverly stepping to the side, and then after a brief skirmish, I was able to overpower him and get him to confess being behind the assassination attempts!” Octavia smiled, looking quite pleased with herself. “I take it that the sniper was associated with the assassins who attacked us earlier?”

I, see.

“I think I can explain everything,” interrupted a new voice. Vinyl and Octavia turned to face it.

“Random guard!” exclaimed Vinyl happily. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m inexplicably here to explain everything that’s happened at the last second,” said the guard. “We’ve finished interrogating the assassins who attacked you in thine bedroom, your majesty.”

Convenient!

“It appears that he was behind the funding of the assassins, and responsible for at least several of the assassination attempts on her majesty,” said the guard. “Apparently, once Minister Peace was in power, she was to subtly assist Minister von Doom in getting corpses and other…things…for his experimentation.”

I see.

“Yeah, it’s just like they’re always telling us at COBRA – ‘Knowing is half the battle,’” agreed Vinyl.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone at COBRA say that,” said Octavia, frowning. “Isn’t it that other group that says that?”

It is. Also, anyPONY.

“Some day it’ll work!” exclaimed Vinyl. “Some day, I’ll say something dramatic and the…scene?...will end! Just you wait!”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Honestly, if it was up to me, I’d end the ‘scene’ after a much less dramatic or humorous line, just to be different.”

Of course.

Also holy crap I did not expect this chapter to be as big as it ended up. Sorry?

No worries, it was fun.

DoctorSpectrum
DoctorSpectrum #10 · Jun 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
Reply

6047130

Fair enough, but don't you mean Trojan?

Part of the intended joke is the fact that Vinyl clearly doesn't know what she's talking about (see also: sleeping agents as opposed to sleeper agents).

Also, I very much doubt that there's a city of Troy in Equestria that had the whole wooden horse thing done to it, so in a way it would sort of not make sense if the phrase "Trojan Horse" existed in Equestria.

You're insane. Also, realiZing.

I'm Australian, so I use British English. (Same for all of the other uses of realising and realised and so on that you pointed out).

Eh?

In the previous chapter, there were hints from Future Vinyl and Future Octavia that they would have to fight spirit zombies in the future.

This thing's sequel?

Wait and see :twilightsmile:

ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #11 · Jun 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
Reply

6051304

Part of the intended joke is the fact that Vinyl clearly doesn't know what she's talking about (see also: sleeping agents as opposed to sleeper agents).

Fair enough.

Also, I very much doubt that there's a city of Troy in Equestria that had the whole wooden horse thing done to it, so in a way it would sort of not make sense if the phrase "Trojan Horse" existed in Equestria.

I point you to the Chrysalis FIENDship Is Magic.

I'm Australian, so I use British English. (Same for all of the other uses of realising and realised and so on that you pointed out).

Fair enough.

In the previous chapter, there were hints from Future Vinyl and Future Octavia that they would have to fight spirit zombies in the future.

How does that even WORK?

Wait and see :twilightsmile:

K.

henke37
henke37 #12 · Jun 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
Reply

Totally called the fact that they were both behind it. Anything else would have made too much sense. Somehow I also managed to call the bed maneuver. Didn't make it any less crazy awesome tho.

Chocolate Cat Fat
Chocolate Cat Fat #13 · Jun 10th, 2015 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
Reply

I can honestly say I wasn't expecting them both to be behind it at all.

kratosarar
kratosarar #14 · Aug 7th, 2015 · · 1 · Chapter Four: Time for a Drink ·
Reply

let's go to a journey a journey through time the time is changing all the time is time to go to TIME!

ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #15 · Aug 7th, 2015 · · · Chapter Four: Time for a Drink ·
Reply

“Excited random exclamation!” exclaimed Vinyl excitedly.

“Serious reply,” replied Octavia seriously.

This fic in a nutshell.

Vinyl grinned in response. “I’m one of a kind, baby! Also, I’m never said I’d get drunk – I figure that while we’re in such a fancy period, we can have a nice drink and a meal - just the two of us - while we’ve got the chance.”

“Honestly?” Octavia asked, her expression softening. Vinyl nodded enthusiastically. “That’s – that’s very thoughtful of you. I like this idea! We can go along the streets of this city until we find a nice restaurant –”

“Pub,” corrected Vinyl.

*sigh* Never change Vinyl.

“Applesauce!” said the bartender, a dark-coated Earth pony. “I look like a sap sellin’ hooch to you? This ain’t no gin mill, see?”

The Prohobition.

“Yes, Vinyl – alcohol is currently illegal,” said Octavia seriously.

“You been livin’ in a cave the past three years?” the bartender asked. “Alcohol’s been illegal for years, and it ain’t like it’s gonna come back inna fashion, see?”

See?

“We’ll go to the Marefia, and get some alcohol from them!” said Vinyl cheerfully. “Then we can have a nice drink, and a nice meal and a – you know what I mean?”

You're nuts.

“I knew you’d see things my way!” said Vinyl enthusiastically. “Now, where do we find the Marefia?” She started looking around the streets, as if hoping to spot a sign pointing to the Marefia’s legitimate stallion’s business club.

“This is going to be one of those things where even if I adamantly refuse to assist you, you’re going to do it anyway, isn’t it?” asked Octavia, finally finding her voice.

Most likely.

“Well…” Vinyl looked a little nervous, but answered nevertheless. “How much do you want to? Because if you don’t want to, we don’t have to. I’m not an idiot; these are hardened criminals we’re talking about.”

I like it when Vinyl shows common sense.

Octavia thought for a moment. On one hoof, there was a very probable chance that they could be killed by the Marefia, or that in the million-to-one chance that everything went fine with the Marefia, the guards could catch them acquiring illegal alcohol and arrest them. On the other hoof, this was apparently important to Vinyl…

Octavia shrugged. “Eh, going with the logic that our future selves are still alive and kicking a good twenty-five years from now – well, not now, but you know what I mean – we should be fine,” she said.

Didn't one of you have a prosthetic limb?

Vinyl grinned. “We’re so going to get killed one of these days with thoughts like that, aren’t we?”

“Well, at least it will be a glorious death by the side of the mare I love,” said Octavia, matching Vinyl’s grin.

“Bitching!” said Vinyl enthusiastically.

You're all madponies.

“I suppose that as the Marefia are mixing alcohol, it’s possible that they might be located in a b-” Octavia began.

“I’ve got it!” interrupted Vinyl loudly and enthusiastically. “Marefia!”

Huh?

“Marefia starts with an ‘M’, right?” Vinyl said. “What else starts with M?”

“Er-”

“You’re right, moon!” continued Vinyl. “And who raises the moon?”

Luna?

“Luna, of course!” said Vinyl, completely ignoring Octavia. “Luna is Celestia’s sister…Celestia…Celes…tia! Tia rhymes with Marefia!” Looking excitedly at Octavia and not getting a reply, she added, “Don’t you see?”

All I see is a deluded white unicorn engaging in INSANE TROLL LOGIC!

“You’ve gone insane from lack of alcohol and are grasping at whatever straws you can in an attempt to find some more?” suggested Octavia.

Yep.

“That too!” said Vinyl. “But it’s obvious from the name – the Marefia are secretly run by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna! That means they must be hidden in Canterlot Castle!”

“This is the part where you suggest we assault the castle and find the Marefia, isn’t it?” sighed Octavia.

“You know me so well!” said Vinyl in a sing-song voice. “So, you ready to go?”

That's stupid, you're stupid! Stop being stupid!

“…Vinyl, I hate to break it to you, but I very much doubt that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna secretly run the Marefia,” said Octavia, her voice even and patient. “For a start, Luna’s still on the moon at this point in Equestria’s history.”

She's right.

Vinyl’s eyes narrowed as the gears in her head spun, attempting to factor this into her theory. “….But that doesn’t mean that Celestia couldn’t be running them, right?”

“Between this, the Pony Tales campaign, and your plans in the last time period we visited, you certainly seem to have something against the Princesses,” said Octavia, ignoring Vinyl’s question. “Should I be concerned? Why do you have a grudge against them?”

“Because they’re prettier than me!” growled Vinyl, stomping a hoof onto the ground. “Now, are we going to destroy Canterlot Castle, or what?”

:facehoof:

“Oh yeah! Hey, do you think the guard outside that illegal gambling den would know where they are?” asked Vinyl, pointing a hoof. Across the road was what appeared to be an apartment building, with stairs headed down to the front entrance. At the top of the stairs stood a grey-coated Earth pony, casually smoking.

“What makes you think that that’s a gambling den?” asked Octavia, staring up to the top of it. “It looks like an apartment building to me.”

“Show me an apartment building that’s not a gambling den and I’ll show you a boring place to live!” said Vinyl. “Anyway, it won’t hurt to ask.” She started to cross the road, but was held back by a hoof from Octavia.

You're a madpony.

Vinyl gave a small nod in agreement as she put a hoof to her chin, thinking. “If you were a guard for an illegal criminal organisation, fearful that undercover guards could raid your place any day, what would a stranger say to you that would lead to you trusting them enough to enter the building?” she asked.

Octavia shrugged. “‘Nyeh, now look here, fella. I gots a message to take to the boss, so you’d better let me in, see?’” she said, putting on a mock accent.

Well, it's probably better than whatever Vinyl can think up.

“Better than anything I can think of,” said Vinyl, trotting across the street without waiting for Octavia.

SHE WAS F*CKING KIDDING!

“Nyeh, now look here, fella,” said Vinyl to the guard outside the building, “I gots a message to take to the boss, so you’d better let me in, see?” Giving Vinyl a funny look, the guard’s sight moved over to Octavia, who had just caught up to Vinyl. “Oh, and Octavia, too!” said Vinyl, the accent she had temporarily adopted immediately dropped. “She’s totally with me!”

“How come I ain’t seen youse two before?” asked the guard, slowly and dully.

“Octavia! He’s seeing through our foolproof plan!” gasped Vinyl loudly.

You moron.

The guard took a long, slow look at Vinyl and Octavia, both of whom were grinning cheerfully in a very bad attempt to look casual. Taking his time, he sucked on his cigarette, embracing the smoke flowing into his lungs. As he breathed it out, he took another long, slow look at Vinyl and Octavia.

“Marefia business?” he asked, his voice low and quiet.

Yep.

Vinyl and Octavia looked at each other, unsure what to say. “Marefia business…suits?” Vinyl suggested.

“Is that something we smuggle?” Octavia asked hesitantly.

“…Yes?” Vinyl asked. She and Octavia looked back at the guard, who was still tiredly examining the two with weary eyes.

The guard sighed. He threw his cigarette butt to the ground, and stomped it into the asphalt. “Are you two ponies stool pigeons?”

No, they're time travelerts.

The guard gave a slow, sluggish shrug. “Head down the stairs. You ponies try a double cross, the big six breaks your kneecaps and throws you in the river, see?”

Yep.

“Nah, I figure that we’ll just go in there, tell them that we want to buy some booze, then mosey on out of there,” Vinyl said. “It’s not like that guard guy told anypony what we were here for, and they’re not going to turn down a profit.”

This won't end well.

“When you put it like that, I have no objections,” said Octavia. She grinned. “’Mosey’ on out of there?”

“I think I’m getting the hang of the slang of this time, see?” said Vinyl, putting on an accent and grinning at Octavia.

Oh god...

Laughing at her marefriend, Octavia pushed down the handle and opened the door revealing the interior of the building. It was a wretched hive of scum and villainy. The air was heavy with smoke from all of the cigarettes and cigars being smoked, and as Vinyl had predicted, there was illegal gambling going on – poker, blackjack, baccarat, and every other card game which could make the Marefia a profit. Beneath all of the dirt – both physical and metaphorical – was what had once, briefly, been a nicely carpeted lobby of an apartment building, before the Marefia had bought it out for their activities.

Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villany. Ironically, when I read this, I was watching A New Hope, and it was at that part. I spat out my drink laughing.

As Vinyl and Octavia stepped inside, coughing slightly from the smoke, a white-coated unicorn in a smart business suit approached them. “Good afternoon, ladies,” he greeted them in a smooth voice. “Are you here for business, or…” His briefly paused as he cast an eye over their bodies. “…pleasure?”

They're not interested in you.

“We are?” Vinyl asked. “We are! Take us to your leader! No, wait, your booze!”

This amuses me.

Inside the apartment a crude office had been set up. A large Earth pony, wearing a suit similar to that of the unicorn, was sitting at a desk, filling out what appeared to be paperwork. “Nyeh, whaddya want?” he asked, without looking up. In his mouth was a cigar which he chomped as he spoke.

I don't think there's a stereotype about Mafia that you've MISSED so far.

“Giggle water, huh?” the pony asked. “You got bits, then you got a deal, but first of all, lemme tell you the rules for when you deal with Big Cheese’s family.” Vinyl and Octavia stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. “First rule is, there ain’t no rules in this family.”

“Oh, so we-” began Octavia before Big Cheese interrupted her.

“Second rule: always follow the rules,” continued Big Cheese, apparently not hearing Octavia. She started to raise a hoof, as though to ask a question, hesitantly. “And the third rule is the most important of all,” Big Cheese said. “Never talk about the Marefia.”

Simple enough.

“…So, basically we’re not allowed to say that we made a deal with the Marefia for bootleg liquor?” Octavia asked after waiting to see what else Big Cheese would say. “That’s a simple enough rule to follow.”

“Baloney! Did you not just hear what I said?” Big Cheese growled. “There ain’t no rules in this family!”

I'm confused.

“Right to business,” said Big Cheese, nodding in approval. “I like that in a pony.” Reaching behind the desk for something, he drew out a bottle and placed it on the table. “Bottle of the finest bootleg scotch a pony could ask for – eighty bits.” He reached down and withdrew another bottle, also placing it on the table. “Whiskey’s yer poison? It ain’t no skin off my nose. Sixty bits.” A third bottle was placed on the table. “Vodka, like what them ponies up north drink? One hundred bits.” Leaning back in his chair, he added, “Now I tell you, these are the best prices for bootleg you can get in Canterlot, or my name ain’t Big Cheese.”

Sounds expensive, then again, it IS the Prohobition era, wait, do you even HAVE bits?

Octavia went to reach for her saddlebags to check, before recalling that she hadn’t brought any with her. “I – um, I don’t think my possessions came with me when we- you know.”

Oh, right. f*ck.

“…Ah, crap,” said Vinyl, giving Octavia an awkward look before facing back to Big Cheese. The large, brown-coated pony had been leaning back casually in his chair, completely enthralled with the power he had in the office. As he stared at them, though, he dropped the chair to all four legs with a BANG! Simultaneously, his expression, which had previously been a broad smile, slowly transformed into an ugly scowl.

Ohdear.

“You two dames telling me you ain’t got no bits?” he growled. “What is this, a joke?”

Now Big Cheese, relax, it's not like they've actually bought anything yet...

“Er- it’s a long story,” stuttered Octavia, bracing herself to leap out of the chair and run out the office, Vinyl hopefully in tow. Looking behind her, she saw that somepony had closed the office door after she and Vinyl had entered – probably to prevent ponies like her from doing exactly what she was planning to do.

Oh dear.

As Vinyl spoke, Big Cheese’s muscles relaxed, and when he spoke, his voice was softer again. “Y-yeah, you got a point there, doll,” he said. Looking away from Vinyl and Octavia, he muttered something indistinct to himself, apparently thinking something through. Vinyl and Octavia looked to each other and shrugged, unsure whether they should leave or not.

What is he thinking?

“Alright, I think I gots an idea,” said Big Cheese a few moments later, addressing Vinyl and Octavia. “You two ponies want some hooch? I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

“I refuse!” blurted out Vinyl. There was silence in the room. Then…

“Heh,” said Big Cheese, apparently amused, “you got a good sense of humour. I like that. Now, here’s my idea…”

You two have a LOT of dumb luck.

“Huzzah! We’re working for the Marefia!” exclaimed Vinyl as she and Octavia exited the apartment building through a back door. A few hours had passed, and it was now early evening. In front of her was a jack she was balancing with her telekinesis, which in turn held a large barrel upon it.

:facehoof: Yeah, CRIMINALS.

“Then we beat them up!” said Vinyl. “But in all seriousness, according to the route that Big Cheese gave us, there shouldn’t be guards heading down this street for at least another half hour, so we should be good.”

SHOULD is the key word.

“Good for what? Entering the criminal underworld?” Octavia asked, pushing the jack with a hoof down the street. For her part, Vinyl used her telekinesis to balance the barrel, ensuring that it wouldn’t suddenly misbalance and fall to the ground, spilling the wine within it to the ground.

Wise move.

“I suppose you’re right,” said Octavia, sighing slightly. “You realise that you probably could cast the time travel spell by now though, surely?”

“We’ll wait ‘til we get the booze, then do it!” said Vinyl excitedly, nearly tipping the barrel over herself in her enthusiasm. “That’s what us real hardened criminals do, nyeh! Take the booze and run!”

Is it really running if you're time traveling?

“Does that count as running if you’re escaping to a different time?” Octavia asked. “If you’re running, you’re displacing yourself in space, whereas time travel is displacing yourself in time.”

Vinyl blinked. “Do you ever do that thing where somepony’s talking, and rather than listening to them, you just sorta zone out and stare at their lips and think about making out with them? Because I was totally doing that just then. What were you saying?”

:facehoof:

Octavia grinned. “I was saying that we’d better rent out a hotel before we drink the alcohol, because we’re going to need to some privacy when we’re done!”

“Yeah!” said Vinyl. “With what money?”

Sad day when Vinyl's the straight mare.

“There’s a group of guards ahead, about to walk right into us,” said Octavia quietly to Vinyl. “What shall we do?” Even as she spoke, she was turning the jack so that she could move the barrel of wine someplace else.

Oh boy.

“Then the guards will find it!” hissed Octavia. She glanced up to see where the guards were. They still apparently hadn’t noticed Vinyl and Octavia, being busy talking amongst themselves, but they would soon. “The Marefia will kill us – literally – if the guards find a barrel of their alcohol and trace it back to them thanks to us.”

Yep.

“An evening stroll, eh?” asked the guard, raising his eyebrows. “Just two mares, and their barrel?” he asked, eyeing the very visible container.

Yep again.

“Monkeys!” said Vinyl, at the exact same time that Octavia said-

“Fun!” Both looked at each other and then to the guard captain. “Um, that is to say, the monkeys are fun,” Octavia hastily added, “so, um, yes. That’s what the barrel contains.”

Teis won't end well.

“- for us?” continued the guard who had poked the barrel. Although he had a flamboyant pink mane, it didn’t stop him from succeeding in intimidating Vinyl and Octavia. “Unless you have paperwork for this barrel, we’re supposed to check all barrels for smuggled alcohol.”

Understandable.

“Would you believe me if I said that they are Appleloosan Fighting Monkeys, and that they’re not supposed to be let out of the barrel until we’ve taken them to their trainer?” Vinyl asked. “The sedatives we put on them-”

One of the guards had procured a crowbar. “Get out of the way,” he growled. Hesitating for a moment, Vinyl took a step to the side.

That'd be a no.

“GASP!” she shouted loudly, looking into the barrel. “Octavia, of all the contrived coincidences to happen to us! It appears that those silly ponies at the warehouse mixed up our barrel of monkeys with that of a barrel of presumably legally-produced wine, which most assuredly should not be investigated!” She slapped a hoof to her cheek. “How could this happen to us?”

Not sure if I should :rainbowlaugh: or :facehoof:

Looking to the guards, Octavia flashed the biggest grin she could muster. They were not amused. “…That didn’t work, did it?” she asked after a few seconds of being scowled at.

“We will be confiscating this barrel from you, and taking the two of you into custody,” said the captain. “We will be questioning the two of you to find out where this barrel came from, and you will likely be taken to prison once all the charges have been found. Do you have any questions?” Around Vinyl and Octavia, the guards had taken out their weapons and were pointing them at the duo.

Nope, and nope. Also, prison? Cute. Been there, done that, broke out, traveled through time.

“Prison?” asked Octavia, smirking.

“Like that’s ever stopped us!” said Vinyl. To Octavia, she said, “I did try to solve this without violence. You saw!”

“I know, and I appreciate it very much,” said Octavia, smiling warmly at Vinyl. “Now, let’s kick their flanks!”

THis should be fun.

Dropping to the ground and rolling forwards, Octavia was able to avoid the spear jab that was aimed at her, and delivered an uppercut to the guard in front on her. She kicked off from the ground and launching herself upwards simultaneously, adding further force to her punch. Another guard shot a bolt from his crossbow at Octavia, but it missed her and hit something wooden behind her.

Probably the wine.

For her part, Vinyl was standing in the same spot and yawning. “C’mon, guys,” she said sleepily, “if you’re going to try and stop us, try and stop us.”

“Challenge accepted,” said the captain of the guard. To the only guard that wasn’t facing Octavia, he ordered, “You – flank her!”

Don't provoke the police, Vinyl.

“Perhaps you should concentrate on the fight, Vinyl?” suggested Octavia, on the other side of the barrel. She braced herself on her front hooves, allowing her to swing her back legs forwards in an arc and knock over the guard in front of her. Behind her, the first guard she had given an uppercut was picking himself up, ready to attack her again.

That might work.

“Oh yeah!” said Vinyl. Her horn glowed, and she yanked the two spears being pointed at her out of their owners’ grasps, before snapping them in half. “Right, this is probably supposed to be tense.” A moment later, she had surrounded the head of the guard flanking her with her telekinetic field, and slammed it heavily to the ground, knocking him out.

Easy to forget they're Badass.

Stunned for a moment, the guard captain withdrew a short sword from a sheath, and aimed it at Vinyl. “This is your final chance to turn yourself in, or I will respond with force,” he said. “Do you surrender now and inform us as to where you acquired the barrel, or would you rather some stab wounds beforehoof?”

“How about…Option C: None of the above?!” Vinyl suggested. “Octavia! Activate maneuver 12-D!” she called.

The hell is that?

“What the bloody hell does that mean?!” Octavia replied angrily. She was grappling with a guard, trying to gain the upper hoof on him. Her opponent was an Earth pony like her, and so his strength had to, at the very least, match hers.

Probably.

SMASH! Without looking at it, Vinyl had surrounded the barrel of wine with her telekinetic field, and thrown it at the guard captain. It connected with him head-on, knocking him over and robbing him of consciousness. The force was large enough to completely destroy the barrel, drenching the captain in wine.

That worked.

“I used it as part of maneuver 12-D,” Vinyl said cheerfully. Octavia gave her a look. “You know, maneuver 12-D? Where I shout out to you to confuse the opponent, then use telekinesis to hit my opponent with the nearest heavy object?”

“Where the hell do you get all of this, Vinyl?” asked Octavia. “I wasn’t aware that we had one maneuver, let alone twelve.”

“COBRA Trooper handbook,” said Vinyl simply. “Am I the only pony who read it?”

Guess so.

“Blame it on the innocent guards who were doing their job to enforce a stupid law?” Vinyl suggested. “We’ve got to tell the Marefia anyway, and they won’t be able to prove that it wasn’t them.”

Octavia grimaced. “I suppose that’s better than the alternative,” she said. “I doubt that we’ll get the free alcohol we were promised, but it’s worth a try.”

Or, hide out until the time travel spell is recharged and get the hell out.

“It’s a bit sad, isn’t it?” asked Vinyl. “All the hideouts in Canterlot to choose from, and Big Cheese and his Marefia family go with the abandoned warehouse cliché.”

“Does it count as an abandoned warehouse if ponies are using it for a smuggling operation?” asked Octavia as she pushed the jack towards the side of the warehouse. “If it’s got ponies in it, it’s not abandoned, is it?”

No clue if it matters.

“Hey, I don’t decide on the classifications,” said Vinyl, shrugging. “If I was, I’d call an abandoned warehouse something like…a fun-filled building of probable use by lazy writers for the climax of a story!”

You Fourth Wall Breaking motherbucker.

“Of course we didn’t get the barrel destroyed!” exclaimed Vinyl.

“Vinyl!” Octavia hissed. “What are you-”

“Accepted. Come inside, guys,” said the voice on the other side of the door.

“What?” Vinyl asked Octavia as she entered the building, shrugging. “I didn’t choose it!”

“I’m more perplexed as to why I didn’t know the password myself,” said Octavia nonchalantly.

Same.

The two ponies entered into a large room, nodding at the door guard as they passed him. The room was full of dozens – no, hundreds – of barrels of assorted alcohol, all discretely moved to the warehouse from different Marefia buildings across the city. Although Big Cheese hadn’t told them any more than that, Vinyl and Octavia knew from history lessons – well, Octavia knew from history lessons – that the Marefia smuggled out the barrels in crates to whichever buildings or people requested them. Most of the ponies in the room were carefully putting the barrels into large crates at the moment, but Vinyl and Octavia headed for the one pony who was instead supervising the entire operation.

That's a lot of booze.

“We have good news and bad news!” said Vinyl, perhaps a little happier than she should have.

“And you critique others for clichés,” muttered Octavia.

No kidding.

Big Cheese gave Vinyl and Octavia a look-over, noticing that they were standing next to an empty jack, and looked slightly beaten up. “Is it that we’re going to murder you for incompetence, and that you failed to distract the guards respectively?” He was chewing on a cigar, but removed it and exhaled some smoke before continuing. “Because we are way ahead of you dames.”

Wait, what?

Octavia gave Vinyl a bit of a nervous look before turning back to Big Cheese. “We can explain!” she said, her voice wobbling slightly. “We were following the route you planned for us, and then we – wait, what do you mean we didn’t distract the guards?”

Something clicked in Vinyl’s brain. “…We weren’t meant to deliver booze at all, were we?” she asked. “You gave us that route so that we could-”

Seve as a distraction, yes.

Big Cheese blew out some more smoke. “I gotsta admit, I was hoping you ponies’d surrender, let the guard take of you, see? A barrel of wine like the one youse two were transporting? It’d get every guard in the city trying to question you, and it’d make the streets easier for my boys to move around for a night.”

You are merciless.

Vinyl and Octavia had been slowly backing away during Big Cheese’s speech, but bumped into some Marefia enforcers. Gulping, they tried to move away, but the enforcers each grabbed a mare in a stranglehold. “So, anyway, the fight we got into would be enough to distract the guards, yes?” Vinyl asked. “Lots of guards will be investigating what happened, so we should be free to grab our booze and leave, right?”

Big Cheese snorted. “Boys, take ‘em away. We’re taking a trip to The Vat.”

Nope, now, teleport out, hide, wait till your magic recharges, and time travel out of there!

Ten minutes later, Vinyl and Octavia found themselves dangling over a large vat full of an unknown, clear liquid. They were tied up tightly by ropes, with their backs to each other. Every few seconds, a brainless Marefia mook would wind a crank slightly, and the pulley system supporting them would lower them down slightly closer to the vat.

What is it I wonder.

“It’s occurred to me that I could just take you two out behind the warehouse, put a bolt in both your heads, then throw you in the nearest river,” said Big Cheese, watching from the side of the vat. “But you know what? I’ll admit it. This is more fun. I like watching ponies go into The Vat.”

You'll regret that soon ennough.

“When me and the boys first got into the bootleg business, you would not believe how hard it was,” Big Cheese said, apparently not hearing Octavia. “You gotta understand – the demand for alcohol’s crazy here! So after a few weeks of making alcohol by hoof and not getting anywhere, me an’ the boys had an idea.”

Did it hurt?

He had been absentmindedly staring into the vat as he spoke, but now he looked up to Vinyl and Octavia. “What if we magically created alcohol? It’d be easy; we’d just need to get the right ingredients then use alchemical spells to convert them to whatever our clients asked for. Doesn’t taste as good as the real thing, but when you’re buying bootleg, you don’t expect top quality, you take what you get, see?”

I suppose that works.

Big Cheese dropped his cigar to the ground and stomped on it absentmindedly. Octavia struggled, for appearance’s sake if nothing else. “The problem is the spell we ended up using is great for booze, but it produces all kinda of crazy toxins and acids as a side effect. And, well…” He gestured to the vat. “We can’t just dump them somewhere – somepony’ll notice that the environment’s dying, and trace it back to us eventually. So we came up with The Vat.”

“So…we’re being dipped into toxins created as a side effect of producing alcohol?” asked Octavia, struggling to think of a way out of the situation.

Basically.

“Murdered thanks to alcohol!” bemoaned Vinyl. “This time period really is ironic hell!”

It's funny because she likes booze.

“ …Any ideas, Vinyl?” asked Octavia.

“I think I’ve got it, Octavia!” said Vinyl excitedly. “Did you pick up one of the guards’ swords after we stopped them?”

Why would she?

“Because I was thinking, if I could swing a sword at the exact right angle, it might bounce off your neck and –”

You are aware there's a high chance that wouldn't work, right?

“End of the line?” asked Vinyl solemnly. She felt Octavia’s head nodding in confirmation. “…Well, at least this is a glorious death by the side of the mare I love,” said Vinyl.

She closed her eyes and waited for the end to come.

So how do they get out of this one? What? They're alive 25 years later, they will get out of this.

THE END.

Bull:yay:.

I've wondered for a while about how to finish The Vinyl and Octavia Series, and I think that having Vinyl and Octavia die by being lowered into a vat of toxins by a Marefia boss is the way to do it. It harkens back to the first story - the two of them in a mean and uncaring environment, out of their comfort zones, facing a cruel and arrogant villain. I feel like it's also an ironic death for the two - they're dying thanks to alcohol, but not in the way you'd expect after reading the rest of the series.

If this WERE the actual end, yes.

Thanks to everyone who's read the series, whether it's from the very start, or just since this one! It's been a great ride, and I've had a lot of fun. If you enjoyed all of the stories, hopefully whatever I end up doing next will be sufficiently satisfying for everyone.
Thanks again!

It's marked incomplete.

...Wait, what do you mean the story's marked as incomplete?

That it ain't done yet. Raise your hand if you weren't fooled for a second.

Windfall
Windfall #16 · Jan 11th, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

I jut want to say: THAT WAS AWESOME! I really love your work and think it was worth the wait. Thank you for such an awesome story.

DoctorSpectrum
DoctorSpectrum #17 · Jan 11th, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

6821956
Thank you! As I said, whilst some of it was some personal stuff I was going through, there was also definitely a degree of laziness to this, which I've got no real excuse for. I'll try and get the next story up soon! :twilightsmile:

ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #18 · Jan 11th, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

Chapter Five: Overtime

It's alive. It's alive. IT'S ALIVE!

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

“Wow!” exclaimed Vinyl Scratch. “I can’t believe how unbelievable the way we got out of that death-trap was!”

“Yes, it certainly was a fine escape,” said Octavia, agreeing warmly. “A very ingenious plan of ours, to do that particular thing which led to us escaping not only the ropes and The Vat, but also the Marefia!”

Don't tell me you're going to...

“You can’t?” Octavia asked, frowning slightly. “Here, let me go over it for you again…”

Oh good.

Vinyl thought for a moment. Then another one. Finding excuses not to look at the ominous vat of toxins and impending doom wasn’t exactly hard. “Well, what, we arrived in Canterlot at around three-ish, right? And by now it’d be…ten? Eleven-ish? Hang on a second, that’d mean -”

“- you should be able to cast the spell once more!” Octavia finished. “It’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

Between that or dying, yes.

The Marefia grunt frowned. He opened his mouth to issue the command – rather silly, that he literally was just going to call out and repeat what Big Cheese had said, rather than Big Cheese himself simply giving the order – then closed it. “I – why don’t you just shoot them?” he suggested.

“What?” Big Cheese asked, stunned.

“You know, what if we just – you know, ignored the elaborate murder method? Just aimed our crossbows at them and shot?” the Marefia member continued. “Sure, it’s not as fancy or dramatic as lowering them into The Vat, but it’s efficient, see?”

A smart mook. I don't belive this.

“…You’re a genius,” said Big Cheese, the simplicity of the suggestion dawning upon his face. “Alright, everyone, this is gonna be how it goes down, see? Aim your crossbows at the mares, and whoever takes them down gets a bonus of five hundred big ones!”

I just hope they have stormtrooper aim.

With that, the warehouse was filled with bolts, flying through the air in an attempt to hit their targets. Octavia flinched whenever a bolt whizzed past her, expecting to feel the solid punch of a bolt hitting her once more. She hadn’t liked it the last time that had happened, and didn’t want a repeat performance of it.

Wow, theyo.

“Try to look on the bright side,” grunted Vinyl, focusing most of her attention and magical energies on the spell. Her horn was glowing fairly brightly by now – hopefully it wouldn’t be long until she cast the spell and they escaped. “If they hit us, we get an extra bolt in our inventory.”

“In addition to internal bleeding and severe shock, possibly followed shortly afterwards by imminent death,” added Octavia bitterly.

She's right. Granted, not necessarily if hit doesn't hit a vital organ, but if it DOES, yeah you're dead.

“No we can’t! We never go on trains in the course of our wacky adventures!” Vinyl complained. By this point, she had moved closer to the window, and was looking out of it excitedly, as though the train’s driver would appear in the reflection and invite her to his carriage.

“We took a train to and from the Amarezon Jungle,” Octavia said bluntly.

“The what now?” Vinyl asked, turning from the window to look at Octavia.

“The Amarezon Jungle.” Octavia was met with a blank stare. “Where we first met?”

“…Trains are fun!” said Vinyl, excitedly going back to the window after a moment of silence.

Of course.

“Appleloosa…?” Vinyl said, her voice in awe. “If we’re headed there – or from there, whatever – then we might be in…the Wild West!”

Either way, you're getting closer to the present, since trains are now a thing.

“How about a train job?” Octavia asked Vinyl drily.

“Yee-haw!” replied Vinyl excitedly, grinning from ear-to-ear. She spat a wad of saliva to the floor.

:facehoof:

Vinyl shrugged. “Way I see it, the robbers ask us for valuables, we don’t have any so they rob the rest of the train, we reach town after the robbery and kill time until I can cast the spell again. It’s basically a holiday!”

I doubt that. EIther way, for your own sake, stay out of trouble. She's not going to is she?

“Worse plans?” Vinyl scoffed, folding her front legs. “I’m not sure whether I’m more offended or hurt!”

... Yes.

“I said I want a train!” Vinyl said, almost immediately causing Octavia to react by sighing and putting a hoof to her eyes. “Oh, come on, Octavia. They’re so cool!”

*sigh*

“Vinyl Scratch?”

“Octavius!”

“Octavia?”

“Bass Drop?”

“Octavia?!”

What?

“When we originally arrived in this universe, neither Bass Drop nor I had any sort of identification or funds upon our person,” Octavius said, his voice as smooth as silk. “Being sent back to a time you were entirely unprepared for can naturally only make things worse, and so until we acquire the items needed for the ritual once more, we have been forced to take up banditry.”

Fair enough.

Although Vinyl Scratch often acted silly and irrational, Octavia had seen her marefriend’s keen mind in action more than once, and was often surprised at the ideas Vinyl would come up with from time to time. If Vinyl could have fantastic ideas that were true examples of thinking outside the box, who was to say that her male counterpart couldn’t as well? With his initiative in surveying the area, Octavia was confident that Bass Drop was about to suggest a brilliant idea that would fix their current problem.

I doubt it.

“Why?” asked Vinyl, perhaps ten times more dramatically than she needed to. “Why, Octavius? Because my plan has a component that yours doesn’t! My plan is fuelled by passion, longing, and raw emotion! My passion was created from the heart of my…heart? Yes, my heart of hearts!

This feels like a simultanous parody of Gurren Lagen and Kingdom Hearts.

“Is it a…” Octavia paused midsentence to think. It was hard to do so with the throbbing of her head, but she tried nevertheless. “A…giant red scissor blade?” Octavia finally said, it being the first physical object her mind could think of.

Kill la Kill reference.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Octavia!” said Bass Drop. “You didn’t want me to talk about the desert, so I won’t!” He had been leading the two ponies alongside the railway tracks, but as he finished speaking he turned around and lowered his glasses slightly. “Do I look like a pony who’d screw up like that?”

Um...

“My associate here is a unicorn with the most powerful magical potential since Star Swirl the Bearded,” answered the refined voice. “She can teleport the protons out of your atoms, or cancel the effects of gravity upon you, leaving you floating in space away from the rotating planet very swiftly. She can hyperaccelerate you so fast that you catch fire in the brief moments before liquefying. All of this she can do, and more.

“As for myself? ‘He’s just an Earth pony’, you may think. Yes, I am just an Earth pony – an Earth pony who has mastered the ancient art of… of Super Kick 13. I can crush your bones to powder with one well-placed kick, and not even a strong one at that. I can punch you so fast that you die before you feel the pain, or so your internal organs rupture from the excessive force and your last few minutes are spent lying on the ground vomiting up blood. And what is more, I can do it with extraordinary ease.

The bullshit is strong in you. And it's also a BADASS BULLSHIT! So yes, this is amazing.

Octavius clicked his tongue in annoyance, but nevertheless drew back his hoof to punch out the driver. As he swung it, however, the train driver swung his hoof upwards, deflecting the blow. “Please,” he said, “do you ponies think that I’m just going to stand here and let myself be knocked out?” He swung a hoof at Octavius, knocking him to the ground with one punch. “Do you think that I want to be caught?” He kicked Octavius in the ribs, eliciting a gasp of pain from the grey Earth pony. “Do you think that I fell for that crap about you two being more magical and strong than other ponies?” He put a hoof above Octavius’ head and raised it slightly, anticipating crushing the other pony’s skull.

Apparently yes.

“If I had every bone in my body broken and was dragged through the gates of Tartarus itself, I would still force myself to gallop out of there and to wherever Vinyl was,” Octavia growled, snorting slightly once she finished. “There’s only one pony allowed to decide when she dies, and that’s me!”

Daaw!

“I believe so,” said Octavius, similarly exhausted. He glanced at the seemingly unconscious driver, who gave no visible sign that he was still conscious. “A good thing, too; that was starting to feel like a bad recurring joke.”

Aye.

“So then,” began Bass Drop, “we have a carriage full of coal, a train full of passengers who are probably wondering why the train’s still stopped, and two unconscious ponies.

“What do we do now?”

Ah dunno.

Octavia shook her head. “I hope that this next jump just gets us to where we need to go,” she said. “I’m over time.”

Title drop and roll credits! Only thing I noticed, I remember Future Vinyl, I think, had an artificial leg, which means she's gonna lose it at some point. Oh dear...

“Yeah, I suppose it’ll be good to get back home, see Serpent Superior and the whole gang,” said Vinyl, grinning. “Maybe we’ll be lucky and Destroyer will forget that I owe him several million bits!”

“What in Equestria have you two been up to since we last saw you?” asked Octavius, frowning in confusion.

A lot.

And then, that was that. Vinyl’s had finished casting the spell, and for the umpteenth time, she and Octavia were sucked into the swirling chronal vortex. Around them, everything was replaced in less than a second – no longer were they in the cooling desert, but standing inside what appeared to be a small apartment. Octavia walked over to a sliding glass door, which lead to a balcony, and looked outside.

Probably the present, or close anyway.

“That…that’s good news, Octavia, but I have some bad news to go along with it,” said Vinyl. “According to this newspaper, this isn’t our time.”

When are you then?

I am unaware of what the two of you are currently doing for employment, or how you managed to escape The Fort, but having recently discovered the crimes you supposedly committed which landed the two of you in jail, I have investigated them of my own accord. It didn’t take long for me to discover that you had both been framed, and whilst my superiors wouldn’t be happy with it if they knew, I have wiped your criminal records. Obviously there’s nothing I can do about ponies’ memories, but if you wish to return to Canterlot and your old lives, there is nothing the law can do to stop you.

Phew.

Keep safe, and I hope that the two of you are well. If you wish, you may write to me at the address on the back of this note – Vinyl, I would love to see you again, and to meet your friend Octavia. There are some things I need to say.

A Friend.

Hm, I wonder....

“Oh, Cyber-Celestia damn it all,” groaned Future Vinyl. “Not again.”

Cyber-Celestia? What happened to the original one?

MeadowRosePony
MeadowRosePony #19 · Jan 14th, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

6822439 Your comments are one of my favorite things to read after the story. It just makes everything that much funnier. Thank you!

soarin53
soarin53 #20 · Mar 22nd, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

oh mah gawd a deux ex reference :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

SpiritOfDancingFlames
SpiritOfDancingFlames #21 · Mar 24th, 2016 · · · Chapter Four: Time for a Drink ·
Reply

6293314
Every time you made a comment, I heard that little "Ding!" from Cinemasins.

SpiritOfDancingFlames
SpiritOfDancingFlames #22 · Mar 24th, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

7051975
I've seen quite a lot of them and I still fail to understand them :twilightsheepish: You wouldn't mind explaining, would you?

soarin53
soarin53 #23 · Mar 25th, 2016 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

7058345 in the game CRAZY shart happens download it on xbox to get the jist k

King of Kings
King of Kings #25 · Aug 26th, 2016 · · · Chapter Two: Meanwhile, in the Future ·
Reply

“I totally wore it to look cool in front of you guys! Everyone knows that future versions of ponies always wear eyepatches!”

\
So...would a future Nick Fury wear two eyepatches then? :rainbowhuh:

King of Kings
King of Kings #26 · Aug 26th, 2016 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
Reply

“Thanks, Minister von Doom, amateur poison brewer!”

Doom?!

the other sans
the other sans #27 · Jun 1st, 2017 · · · Chapter Two: Meanwhile, in the Future ·
Reply

more spiky and messy than Vinyl’s could ever hope to be
And anyway, we survived that place they’ve gone too, didn’t we?

1. Vinyl.
2. To.

the other sans
the other sans #28 · Jun 2nd, 2017 · · · Chapter Three: Time and a Half ·
Reply

more corpses to experiment with , but there

1. Extra spacing here.

the other sans
the other sans #29 · Jun 2nd, 2017 · · · Chapter Five: Overtime ·
Reply

Also, I’m never said I’d get drunk
Swear poured from each pore of her body

1. I.
2. Sweat.

lillytheomegawolf
lillytheomegawolf #30 · Apr 14th, 2019 · · · Chapter Two: Meanwhile, in the Future ·
Reply

Dang. I wanna know what happened after the wedding....
Brilliant, crazy story though. This series continues to be greatly enjoyable.

Comment posted by Benjagautzer deleted Dec 14th, 2022
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