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TheOnly

Joined March 2012
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WARNING, META/TROLL IS AHEAD, JUST A LITTLE WARNING.  REAL CHAPTERS COMING LATER.


Bloodbath McBullet the alicorn trotted through the Ponyville central square.  His mane was a scarlet red, and his coat was a jet black.  Imprinted on his flank was a knife with blood dripping from the tip.  His orange eyes scanned the area, searching for a certain unicorn.

Within a few moments, he had spotted the large tree library in the distance.  From his knowledge, it was the living quarters of the pony he sought.  He spread his wings and took to the sky, flying through the air gracefully and quickly before landing in front of the tall tree.  

The alicorn was no monster, however, and knocked politely on the wooden door.  Twilight Sparkle answered, her eyes brimming with curiosity at first sight of this alicorn.  From what her books had told her, the only alicorns in existence were Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadence.  There had been no mention of another one, let alone a male alicorn.  

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle," said the alicorn.  His voice was gruff and deep, but had a sexual undertone.  Twilight took a step back into the library, attempting to close the door, but the alicorn held it open with a hoof.  He took a step into the library.  Twilight tried to retreat further into the library, but she felt something pulling her toward Bloodbath.  

"What's going on!" shouted Twilight.  In hopes that her neighbors would hear, she let out a scream.  She resisted the force pulling her back, but they were too strong.  She felt an incredible lust for the alicorn overcome her, even though she did not want to have anything to do with Bloodbath McBullet.  She stopped screaming and moved closer to the alicorn.

"What's happening to me?" she asked, her voice quivering.  The alicorn smiled.

"It's my self-desire, Twilight, you cannot resist."  

Twilight rolled her eyes, realizing what was actually happening.  She sat quietly as the alicorn attempted to touch her and steal a kiss from her lips, but failed miserably, his hooves passing straight through Twilight.

"You're never going to do it," she said.

"Yes I will!" yelled the alicorn, desperately running his hooves through Twilight,"All I have to do is believe!"

Twilight let out a sigh as the alicorn attempted to kiss her once more, his lips only touching thin air.

"Take your personal desires somewhere else," said Twilight.

Comments ( 161 )

#1 · 123w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

"Bloodbath McBullet the alicorn"

OH FUCK MY SIDES

also you should have made bloodbath black with a red and black striped mane

because most gary stu alicorn OC's are like that

#2 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

I just finished reading twipie and then seeing there were no other chapters checked my favorites, and there was this.

#4 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Lol what a name. :facehoof:

#5 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

"...his hooves passing straight Twilight."

...Is there a lesbian Twilight?:rainbowhuh:

#6 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

I think I have read this fic before...

#7 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613214 how did I miss that :facehoof:

#8 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Yay! An Awesome McCoolname trope! :yay:

#9 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

And I wasn't wrong. It was magnificent. Womanly tears of epicness were shed virtually.:rainbowlaugh:

#10 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613214

According to the fandom, yes. Yes there is.

#11 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Never cross Bloodbath McBullet.  His amazing skills mean you would never be able to beat him if you piss him off.

#12 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Love. Love. Love. I can't love it any more or my husband will be jealous. I died XD

#13 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Fan-fucking-tastic!  Keep up the good work my friend!!!

#14 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613185

...is that Carl Sagan?

#15 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Lol twilight doesn't give a dam...like honeybadger

#16 · 123w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Bloodbath McBullet is best pony.

#17 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613251

According to half the brony community, there is.

#18 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613347

LIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::flutterrage:

#20 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613367

Come on, an alicorn with a red mane and black coat.

How much more original, and definitely not Gary Stu, can you get?

#21 · 123w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Keep an eye out for my next blockbuster fanfic:

The Epic Tragedie of Bloodbath McBullet

An Alicorn Melodrama in 9 Acts

#22 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

It's funny/sad because this is true.

#23 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613351 Indeed, but then again, according to a disturbingly high percentage of the Internet, there isn't a straight person in the entire multiverse.

#24 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Imagine my mind is a pane of glass.

After reading this, it shattered into a million pieces.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::pinkiehappy:

#25 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613231

Is he related to Slabflank McLargehuge?

#26 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

As I read this chapter, I was wearing a T-shirt with the following image emblazoned upon it:

It's not exactly what's described in the chapter, but I think it's the same general idea.

(And in case you're wondering, this image pre-dates FIM by about a year and a half.)

#27 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613436

I think he is a cousin of MuscleHooves StrongFlankenchunk

#28 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613417

And, according to every MW3 player, my mother has had sex with almost every male in the world.

#29 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

You use a lot of telliness and excessive word usage in this fic.  You need to trim that down some.  Not much is done with the characters' thoughts or emotions, either.  You keep a very distant narrative, never getting into the characters' heads as much as could be useful.

These aren't bad by a long shot, but much can be improved in your narrative.

#30 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

This is awesome. Every alicorn-insert story EVER.

#31 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Whoa. Go Twi

#32 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

HA!!!! EPIC REJECTION!!!! POPULATION: STUPID ALICORN!!!

#33 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

>>613535 I think that might be the joke :applejackunsure:

The story steps away from most fanon, and the narration does too. Meta...

#34 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

You win all the internets. Go ahead, take them.

#35 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

xD Oh wow.

That is so true.

>>613458 Fucking. Perfect.

#39 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

also from that chart:

Big Mac/Granny Smith

Spike/Philomena

Gummy/Angel (would likely be abusive, like all of Angel's relationships)

Zecora/Apple Bloom ("Why don't you have a seat over there....")

GO!

#40 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

I'm sorry, I was unable to read beyond the first chapter.

I almost died of laughing from that. I can't risk it.

#41 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh God, my sides.

:rainbowlaugh:

You, my friend, are a genius.

#42 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

how the fuck has this been number 1 for the pat week to a week and ahalf

#43 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

Almost perfect.  If he had the other five pining for him but he only had eyes for Twilight, that would have tipped it over the edge.

#44 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

Bloodbath McBullet...

It's the truth, though. Nicely done. :rainbowlaugh:

#45 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

>>614693 Idk.  :derpytongue2:

#46 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

"Bloodbath McBullet ".

This is called a Fail o'Suckyname for it's way too common and tryhard.

Name Rainbow Dash on the other hand are names that are called Awesome McCoolname because they fit the works they're in and manage to be radical.

#47 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

>>615142 that was the point

#48 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

My. Fucking. Sides! :rainbowlaugh::raritycry:

#49 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

>>615144 I know, I just pointed people at the tropes related.

#50 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

>>615148 alright then :scootangel:

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