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TheOnly

Joined March 2012
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WARNING, META/TROLL IS AHEAD, JUST A LITTLE WARNING.  REAL CHAPTERS COMING LATER.


Bloodbath McBullet the alicorn trotted through the Ponyville central square.  His mane was a scarlet red, and his coat was a jet black.  Imprinted on his flank was a knife with blood dripping from the tip.  His orange eyes scanned the area, searching for a certain unicorn.

Within a few moments, he had spotted the large tree library in the distance.  From his knowledge, it was the living quarters of the pony he sought.  He spread his wings and took to the sky, flying through the air gracefully and quickly before landing in front of the tall tree.  

The alicorn was no monster, however, and knocked politely on the wooden door.  Twilight Sparkle answered, her eyes brimming with curiosity at first sight of this alicorn.  From what her books had told her, the only alicorns in existence were Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadence.  There had been no mention of another one, let alone a male alicorn.  

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle," said the alicorn.  His voice was gruff and deep, but had a sexual undertone.  Twilight took a step back into the library, attempting to close the door, but the alicorn held it open with a hoof.  He took a step into the library.  Twilight tried to retreat further into the library, but she felt something pulling her toward Bloodbath.  

"What's going on!" shouted Twilight.  In hopes that her neighbors would hear, she let out a scream.  She resisted the force pulling her back, but they were too strong.  She felt an incredible lust for the alicorn overcome her, even though she did not want to have anything to do with Bloodbath McBullet.  She stopped screaming and moved closer to the alicorn.

"What's happening to me?" she asked, her voice quivering.  The alicorn smiled.

"It's my self-desire, Twilight, you cannot resist."  

Twilight rolled her eyes, realizing what was actually happening.  She sat quietly as the alicorn attempted to touch her and steal a kiss from her lips, but failed miserably, his hooves passing straight through Twilight.

"You're never going to do it," she said.

"Yes I will!" yelled the alicorn, desperately running his hooves through Twilight,"All I have to do is believe!"

Twilight let out a sigh as the alicorn attempted to kiss her once more, his lips only touching thin air.

"Take your personal desires somewhere else," said Twilight.

Comments ( 160 )

#1 · 100w, 20h ago · 3 · ·

"Bloodbath McBullet the alicorn"

OH FUCK MY SIDES

also you should have made bloodbath black with a red and black striped mane

because most gary stu alicorn OC's are like that

#2 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

I just finished reading twipie and then seeing there were no other chapters checked my favorites, and there was this.

#4 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

Lol what a name. :facehoof:

#5 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

"...his hooves passing straight Twilight."

...Is there a lesbian Twilight?:rainbowhuh:

#6 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

I think I have read this fic before...

#7 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

>>613214 how did I miss that :facehoof:

#8 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

Yay! An Awesome McCoolname trope! :yay:

#9 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

And I wasn't wrong. It was magnificent. Womanly tears of epicness were shed virtually.:rainbowlaugh:

#10 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

>>613214

According to the fandom, yes. Yes there is.

#11 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

Never cross Bloodbath McBullet.  His amazing skills mean you would never be able to beat him if you piss him off.

#12 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

Love. Love. Love. I can't love it any more or my husband will be jealous. I died XD

#13 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

Fan-fucking-tastic!  Keep up the good work my friend!!!

#14 · 100w, 20h ago · · ·

>>613185

...is that Carl Sagan?

#15 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

Lol twilight doesn't give a dam...like honeybadger

#16 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

Bloodbath McBullet is best pony.

#17 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613251

According to half the brony community, there is.

#18 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613347

LIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::flutterrage:

#20 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613367

Come on, an alicorn with a red mane and black coat.

How much more original, and definitely not Gary Stu, can you get?

#21 · 100w, 19h ago · 1 · ·

Keep an eye out for my next blockbuster fanfic:

The Epic Tragedie of Bloodbath McBullet

An Alicorn Melodrama in 9 Acts

#22 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

It's funny/sad because this is true.

#23 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613351 Indeed, but then again, according to a disturbingly high percentage of the Internet, there isn't a straight person in the entire multiverse.

#24 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

Imagine my mind is a pane of glass.

After reading this, it shattered into a million pieces.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::pinkiehappy:

#25 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613231

Is he related to Slabflank McLargehuge?

#26 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

As I read this chapter, I was wearing a T-shirt with the following image emblazoned upon it:

It's not exactly what's described in the chapter, but I think it's the same general idea.

(And in case you're wondering, this image pre-dates FIM by about a year and a half.)

#27 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613436

I think he is a cousin of MuscleHooves StrongFlankenchunk

#28 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

>>613417

And, according to every MW3 player, my mother has had sex with almost every male in the world.

#29 · 100w, 19h ago · · ·

You use a lot of telliness and excessive word usage in this fic.  You need to trim that down some.  Not much is done with the characters' thoughts or emotions, either.  You keep a very distant narrative, never getting into the characters' heads as much as could be useful.

These aren't bad by a long shot, but much can be improved in your narrative.

#30 · 100w, 18h ago · · ·

This is awesome. Every alicorn-insert story EVER.

#31 · 100w, 18h ago · · ·

Whoa. Go Twi

#32 · 100w, 18h ago · · ·

HA!!!! EPIC REJECTION!!!! POPULATION: STUPID ALICORN!!!

#33 · 100w, 17h ago · · ·

>>613535 I think that might be the joke :applejackunsure:

The story steps away from most fanon, and the narration does too. Meta...

#34 · 100w, 16h ago · · ·

You win all the internets. Go ahead, take them.

#35 · 100w, 16h ago · · ·

xD Oh wow.

That is so true.

>>613458 Fucking. Perfect.

#39 · 100w, 14h ago · · ·

also from that chart:

Big Mac/Granny Smith

Spike/Philomena

Gummy/Angel (would likely be abusive, like all of Angel's relationships)

Zecora/Apple Bloom ("Why don't you have a seat over there....")

GO!

#40 · 100w, 14h ago · · ·

I'm sorry, I was unable to read beyond the first chapter.

I almost died of laughing from that. I can't risk it.

#41 · 100w, 14h ago · · ·

Oh God, my sides.

:rainbowlaugh:

You, my friend, are a genius.

#42 · 100w, 13h ago · · ·

how the fuck has this been number 1 for the pat week to a week and ahalf

#43 · 100w, 12h ago · · ·

Almost perfect.  If he had the other five pining for him but he only had eyes for Twilight, that would have tipped it over the edge.

#44 · 100w, 10h ago · · ·

Bloodbath McBullet...

It's the truth, though. Nicely done. :rainbowlaugh:

#45 · 100w, 10h ago · · ·

>>614693 Idk.  :derpytongue2:

#46 · 100w, 9h ago · · ·

"Bloodbath McBullet ".

This is called a Fail o'Suckyname for it's way too common and tryhard.

Name Rainbow Dash on the other hand are names that are called Awesome McCoolname because they fit the works they're in and manage to be radical.

#47 · 100w, 9h ago · · ·

>>615142 that was the point

#48 · 100w, 9h ago · · ·

My. Fucking. Sides! :rainbowlaugh::raritycry:

#49 · 100w, 9h ago · · ·

>>615144 I know, I just pointed people at the tropes related.

#50 · 100w, 9h ago · · ·

>>615148 alright then :scootangel:

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