Zipp is my new lesbian gf. Fight me. | Find my other works on AO3 | Avatar by Maren derpi:2715415
[THIS STORY IS ON INDEFINITE HIATUS. IT MOST LIKELY WILL NOT BE COMPLETED.]
Rainbow Dash has feelings for Princess Twilight Sparkle, however, things don't go according to plan. After Twilight accidentally discovers Rainbow's feelings for her, things get very bumpy... not at all affected by the sudden return of and old... "friend?"
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is totally awesome, don't stop
Don't take offense to this, but if you have a lot on your plate and wont be able to do regular update, Then why did you release all the chapter you had at once. I mean you could have release a chapter at a time, that way you would have more time to work on the other chapter, or just you know to have them for later release.
I never did understand why people would release all the chapter they have at once, but the story would not be finish. 
But over all good story.
I really like how Twi finds out, it's unique. Great work, I am very tempted to read more, so I will!
that was very sad for rainbow
5872393 Oh the story will be finished... I assure you... just felt like you'd like more than 2k words to read
I've read this somewhere...
Well then, I'm liking it so far. But the beginning I've seen somewhere... oh well. I'll give you one of 5 mustaches for now
5876933 Fanfiction.net. This is an older story I worked on with a friend of mine, but since his mother passed away, I've taken it over
You should probably start a new paragraph when you switch speakers. It makes a text very hard to read when you have to stay alert for sudden switches in the middle of a paragraph. For example,
would read better as
I might even put a break between "yet" and "Dash", since the active character changes. Don't worry about the paragraphs being too short in a dialogue scene. If you want to check what the usual rules are, I find this to be a good reference, especially since English isn't my first language. The relevant part in this case would be from "Multiple lines of dialogue" forward.
5892948 This story was heavily edited, and I was taking that into account. I knew I missed a few, but I wasn't sure where. Thank's for pointing those out!
Interesting story so far, but there is one thing that bothers me.
It's 'straight', not 'strait' it might be a homonym, but it doesn't mean mean twilight is into girls. It kind of means that she is apparently 'a narrow passage of water connecting two seas or two other large areas of water.'
6035159 OMG LOL....
Totally missed that. I know for a fact that this was written on my tablet... and using Swipe... so I can see how I did that!
Thanks!
6035159 Shipping often travels through straits, so it still works!
6064924 Lol
when is next update?
6140101 Soon! I post frequent updates on content through my blogs though, so you can check those out if you want!
Scootalo just wanted to taste the Rainbow.
th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/152/b/5/taste_the_rainbow_by_judhudson-d51xha7.jpg
Her name isn't Bon Bon, it's Special Agent Sweetie Drops!
Hmmmm...
... Skeptical Cloud is skeptical.
This "Lexicon" intrigues me but baffles me as well.
Great story going on here though! I'm liking it! I kind of wish the dreams where Rainbow kissed Twilight then ran off was what actually happened. Would've made an interesting story on its own.
6206204 OHHH BUT WAIT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT THAT <insert random knowable and completely cannon character here> IS GOING TO BE IN IT!!!!
Then it will all make sense
6206481 well, judging by the description, I'm going to take a good guess and say it's Discord. His the only character that could be classified as a
. Or is it Soarin? I'm really hating Soarin thanks to Dash of Humanity 1, 2, and 3.
6207652 Discord? Nah... that's "All Good Things" you're thinking of there....
6207672 oh, I know. I can't believe I didn't think this before. It's going to be Fleetfoot. It has to be because it would affect Rainbow's feelings for Twilight. I'm a genius. I still want to see Soarin get his but kicked...
... TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOON!
6207699 Wow... you're chock full of ideas...
...wait. Why would Fleetfoot be in the crystal empire?
6208505 she's a Wonderbolt so she could be there for a show or she could be sightseeing. You never know.
6208538 I DO know... I'm the author...
*cough cough* hinthint *cough*
6208939 -_-
Ok, I can't deny, that was kind of funny. Still, it's possible you could change your mind. Heck, in my only fanfiction I've worked on, it's been improvisation since it started. My original plan was to make the next Cupcakes but instead came out with... uh... something?
I like the story so far, but one thing I wanted to point out;
Most of the time, New Speaker = New line. It can get kinda confusing in a paragraph like this, especially something where it goes from "she cried immediately afterwards." and then goes straight into a new speaker talking.
I'm having so much trouble reading this. Aside from the speakers not being separated, it's very difficult to connect with the characters. Sudden mood switches & large amounts of time passing for no reason such as dash & twilight seemingly spending an entire night on either side of an open door. We are expected to believe that neither of them make an attempt to speak or to move?
I can't bring myself to read the rest of this I'm sorry to say. The way twilight found out about dash's crush on her had so much promise.
6365871 You're not the first one to point this out! But I do thank you! It's awesome to have people everywhere to help you out with editing!
6368360 I'm sorry you don't like the story going that way.
If it helps make things any clearer, it was already evening by the time the two were at the door...
Pinkie Promise! Now!
6368538 will this end in TwiDash romance or friendship?
6559342 Spoilers!
6557629 I, ModMCdl (aka Joshua L.) hereby Pinkie Promise to the celestial goddess herself that nothing strange will happen between Twilight and Chrysalis.
6560058 but this was added to the friendship/implied folder in a twidash group, thats why i asked
6560070 Yeah... I've been having trouble with the grouping on this one. It was previously in the "Mature" folder of that group for whatever reason also...
I intend it to be romantic.
6560059 Okay... We're good-ish now. There's tons of loopholes in that promise...
6560125 I know.
An author never limits his storyline.
OMG This is so good so far, cant wait to read more
IDC ABOUT THE ERRORS IM DYING CUZ TWIDASH AND OMGGGGGG
The TwiDash every chapter just gets better im screaming...
6562516 Glad you're enjoying it!
*complying*
6587445 nooooo...
Dash is obviously a computer...
Lol Scootaloo