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TwiDash1,187 stories ·4,223 members
Over the years, Twilight and Rainbow Dash have fallen in love. They have never been in a relationship this special or precious. And now, Twilight has question that will completely change their lives. But when something horrid suddenly occurs, their lives are completely rewritten despite Twilight’s question.
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I'm on the edge of my seat.
5421356
Hope you like it.
"linear line on the heart monitor" - yes, I understand the mathematical concept of a non-linear line, but it sounds pretty silly. Maybe "horizontal line", or "featureless line"?
5421393
I never thought of using either of those words. When I write, I type the first word that comes to mind. I appreciate your comment though
I think this story would get much more viewers if you took out the M-rating tag. Truthfully, I was a bit put off myself, but I am glad I decided to read it. This story is perfectly acceptable to be rated T if you ask me.
Wonderful story.
5421632
Thanks mate. I changed it to teen. I was a little cautious with the choosing of the rating since it had that small sex scene.
I'm glad you liked it.
Cheers,
L
5421641
Thanks man, I'm glad I could help.
Wow, that was a roller coaster ride right there, a really enjoyable one I might add. Great job.
5421982
Thanks, mate. Glad you liked it.
Cheers,
L
Excellent story. Love it.
5423444
Thanks, mate. I hope it rattled a nerve.
Cheers,
L
The last line redeems the story. And explains the OOC behaviour.
5423639
I did that on purpose–the last line, that is.
Cheers,
L
haha even twilight asking for marridge was a dream because she had no idea about the ring she gave
5434661
I wanted this story to confuse people, but write it in a way that makes sense lol. Glad you tuned in.
Cheers,
L
I like Romances,I like twidash, I like this story, I like the word moar. Put those words together and you getI need moar of this story twidash and romance.
5440954
I have another TwiDash story in the making as we speak. Should be done sometime this week.
Cheers,
L
5423639
What are you talking about? Nothing is OOC. Not to my knowledge anyway. And even if he didn't write that last line the story would have been redeemed.
Wow this story really impressed me. You did a great job of making the dream she was experiencing sound real. Sometimes the reader can tell immediately that it is a dream, but not in this one. Very well done.
Just one quick itty bitty detail.
I believe that this should read: "Rainbow Dash....will you take me to be your beloved wife?"
Keep it up!!!!
If anyone ever takes advice from me, this is what I would wish it to be.
That it matters not what others may say. What matters most is the passion you put into your work, day by day.
-Scuba12
5450981
I'm not very good with the whole proposing for marriage thing. Glad you saw that. I made the correction on both the story here, and on my original manuscript.
I"m happy you enjoyed reading this. Surprisingly, I found it very easy to make the dream seem like it was real. And I thought it would be the hard part, but it turned out to be the easiest.
Cheers,
L
5423639
Either you're being an ignorant ass or you don't know what OOC means. Are you seriously going to say that there is OOC behavior? You're the only person who claims there to be OOC. What the hell man. Give this story more credit or frigg off.
5507148
Holy crap, what got your panties in a twist? Sounds like something I'd hear from a petulant child.
Since this seems to be a sore point with a number if you, fine., The Out Of Character behavior I was referring to stems from a single line.
"A torrent of horrendous thoughts plagued Rainbow. Where was Twilight? Was she okay? What kind of eldritch creature could make such a monstrous sound?"
That Dash knows that Twilight is out there and does not investigate, does not go to make sure that her new wife is fine, is what I call OOC. That Dash would ignore something like that for her own sleepy comfort. That it's such a key element of the story makes it stand out all the more. The whole tragedy wouldn't have happened if Dash had shown her normal levels of concern for her wife.
Are you happy now?
5507772
Don't worry about him. He clearly didn't get the premise of the story, nor did he understand what you were referring to.
5507148
I did that line on purpose, and it's completely reasoned. Don't go around making ludicrous claims on other user's comments. I don't have tolerance for insufferable behaviour.
5507818
Thank you. It was the tone of the comment itself more than anything that annoyed me.
Oh, poor Rainbow. The ring was also a lie.
Ouch.
That Ending was absolutely brutal! When asking where the ring was...i felt just what i've seen on tv before where you wake up from a nightmare which was a perfect dream just a moment earlier, chapter 2 should've been a thing where rainbow tells her the entirety of her dream and to say that she wants it all to be truly real in which twilight agrees to her!