The attention to small detail is terrific: the pausing and prologing, teeth clacking, balls slapping, the manner of Bubba's speech, ruthless but not overdone, Scoot's thoughts and reactions. Almost every fetish here, from the urine sniffing to the dirty anal and minor vag-tearing is perfectly suited to my interests.
The only parts I couldn't get into were the beating and death-threatening (though they were handled entirely well and realistically). While the writing here likely appeals to biastophiles, I'm really more of a raptophile. (I prefer to focus on the sex itself rather than the assault unless the assault is mostly through psychological or emotional coercion.) I can't relate to the antagonist in Bubba's case. Maybe, if there were some sort of show or tell about the appeal to him as an abuser, I could get into it more, but I realize that's probably not as important to the author.
I've come across other fics that address Scoot being raped by her father or some other adult, and they do almost the exact same thing without really tapping into the why beyond '(s)he's a drunk' or--if I'm lucky--'has a tragic past.' I'd really like to see the rapist's struggle to escape from their own personal hell (into a different hell), to feel their desperation not to confront their reality, but, again, that's not what this story is about. Like most other rape fics, it's more about the action with a good deal of emphasis on the brutality. I can't say it bothers me at all in this particular case since the level of writing is certainly above standard, but it doesn't thrill me either. I only mention it because I sense how much effort went into these 1700-ish words and feel it deserves some thoughtful critique.
I any case, you have my upvote and a warm welcome to Fimfiction! I look forward to more!
5843171 I think i can agree with almost everything you said.
I guess i don´t needed his death treat. and the beating as well, and maybe a bit of a Background for her foster parent would be nice, befor he get´s arrested later.
I didn´t really know that i like somethin like this befor i had read two of this Scootaloo rape storys, but as long as this is only a fantasy, i can live with this new knowledge.
The bleeding was a bit to much for me maybe, or let´s say it wasn´t a moment where i concentrated on the story itself, but rather had to ask myself if this would heal good enough later. While i am not into everything the story has shown, the story itself is not bad, i think i can give you an upvote.
I guess i don´t need to ask, if you would stop that garbling stuff, but if it isn´t going to be overdone, then it is something i can accept.
Bubba needs to be skinned alive, and while he is screaming for mercy or death, his dick gets cut off, and shoved down his throat. And let him choke to death on his own dick. That is what a rapist truly deserves.
someone find him for me so, IMA FIRING MY LAZOR O o /¯____________________________ ______________ | BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! !!!! \_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Bubba is already a dick and needs to fucking die (・∀・)
This is pretty good, please continue!
5842451 i agree
The attention to small detail is terrific: the pausing and prologing, teeth clacking, balls slapping, the manner of Bubba's speech, ruthless but not overdone, Scoot's thoughts and reactions. Almost every fetish here, from the urine sniffing to the dirty anal and minor vag-tearing is perfectly suited to my interests.
The only parts I couldn't get into were the beating and death-threatening (though they were handled entirely well and realistically). While the writing here likely appeals to biastophiles, I'm really more of a raptophile. (I prefer to focus on the sex itself rather than the assault unless the assault is mostly through psychological or emotional coercion.) I can't relate to the antagonist in Bubba's case. Maybe, if there were some sort of show or tell about the appeal to him as an abuser, I could get into it more, but I realize that's probably not as important to the author.
I've come across other fics that address Scoot being raped by her father or some other adult, and they do almost the exact same thing without really tapping into the why beyond '(s)he's a drunk' or--if I'm lucky--'has a tragic past.' I'd really like to see the rapist's struggle to escape from their own personal hell (into a different hell), to feel their desperation not to confront their reality, but, again, that's not what this story is about. Like most other rape fics, it's more about the action with a good deal of emphasis on the brutality. I can't say it bothers me at all in this particular case since the level of writing is certainly above standard, but it doesn't thrill me either. I only mention it because I sense how much effort went into these 1700-ish words and feel it deserves some thoughtful critique.
I any case, you have my upvote and a warm welcome to Fimfiction!
I look forward to more!
5842895 *grabs shotgun off shelf* Lets go find the fucker!
You did a great job with all the literary devices, I hope you continue this!
5843171 I think i can agree with almost everything you said.
I guess i don´t needed his death treat. and the beating as well, and maybe a bit of a Background for her foster parent would be nice, befor he get´s arrested later.
I didn´t really know that i like somethin like this befor i had read two of this Scootaloo rape storys, but as long as this is only a fantasy, i can live with this new knowledge.
The bleeding was a bit to much for me maybe, or let´s say it wasn´t a moment where i concentrated on the story itself, but rather had to ask myself if this would heal good enough later. While i am not into everything the story has shown, the story itself is not bad, i think i can give you an upvote.
I guess i don´t need to ask, if you would stop that garbling stuff, but if it isn´t going to be overdone, then it is something i can accept.
Bubba needs to be skinned alive, and while he is screaming for mercy or death, his dick gets cut off, and shoved down his throat. And let him choke to death on his own dick. That is what a rapist truly deserves.
o no
"the only thing she had in life to make her happy was a spot of urine."
6392154 Thank you
someone find him for me so,
IMA FIRING MY LAZOR
O o
/¯____________________________ ______________
| BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! !!!!
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Hot damn.
WARNING: "HE NEEDS TO DIE HORRIBLY" COMMENTS AHEAD. CONTINUE AT SCOOTALOO'S OWN RISK.
5845943 It's a shame I can only upvote that comment once. Well spoken.
7307354 get my gun
5843389 get my shotgun
5842451 indeed
*engage terminator mode* WHERE’S THE GUN SAFE?!?!?!