- Member Since 11th Mar, 2015
- offline last seen March 29th
Pony writer
A wise woman once said, " Fuck this shit." And she lived happily ever after
Pony writer
Joined 11th Mar, 2015 ·
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Bubba is already a dick and needs to fucking die （・∀・）
This is pretty good, please continue!
5842451 i agree
The attention to small detail is terrific: the pausing and prologing, teeth clacking, balls slapping, the manner of Bubba's speech, ruthless but not overdone, Scoot's thoughts and reactions. Almost every fetish here, from the urine sniffing to the dirty anal and minor vag-tearing is perfectly suited to my interests.
The only parts I couldn't get into were the beating and death-threatening (though they were handled entirely well and realistically). While the writing here likely appeals to biastophiles, I'm really more of a raptophile. (I prefer to focus on the sex itself rather than the assault unless the assault is mostly through psychological or emotional coercion.) I can't relate to the antagonist in Bubba's case. Maybe, if there were some sort of show or tell about the appeal to him as an abuser, I could get into it more, but I realize that's probably not as important to the author.
I've come across other fics that address Scoot being raped by her father or some other adult, and they do almost the exact same thing without really tapping into the why beyond '(s)he's a drunk' or--if I'm lucky--'has a tragic past.' I'd really like to see the rapist's struggle to escape from their own personal hell (into a different hell), to feel their desperation not to confront their reality, but, again, that's not what this story is about. Like most other rape fics, it's more about the action with a good deal of emphasis on the brutality. I can't say it bothers me at all in this particular case since the level of writing is certainly above standard, but it doesn't thrill me either. I only mention it because I sense how much effort went into these 1700-ish words and feel it deserves some thoughtful critique.
I any case, you have my upvote and a warm welcome to Fimfiction!
I look forward to more!
5842895 *grabs shotgun off shelf* Lets go find the fucker!
You did a great job with all the literary devices, I hope you continue this!
5843171 I think i can agree with almost everything you said.
I guess i don´t needed his death treat. and the beating as well, and maybe a bit of a Background for her foster parent would be nice, befor he get´s arrested later.
I didn´t really know that i like somethin like this befor i had read two of this Scootaloo rape storys, but as long as this is only a fantasy, i can live with this new knowledge.
The bleeding was a bit to much for me maybe, or let´s say it wasn´t a moment where i concentrated on the story itself, but rather had to ask myself if this would heal good enough later. While i am not into everything the story has shown, the story itself is not bad, i think i can give you an upvote.
I guess i don´t need to ask, if you would stop that garbling stuff, but if it isn´t going to be overdone, then it is something i can accept.
Bubba needs to be skinned alive, and while he is screaming for mercy or death, his dick gets cut off, and shoved down his throat. And let him choke to death on his own dick. That is what a rapist truly deserves.
Proof-read, man. There are misspellings that any spell-checker would easily have caught. The paragraph structure in the first chapter wasn't great, but it was better than the second one.
The story itself seems to be on an awkward trajectory, but I'll reserve judgment until it's finished.
5851660 thank you
5851408 I promise you won't be dissapointed!
god damn, this story is making me cry. I applaud you ma'am.
5851785
thank you!!
Sweet new chapter! I recommend keeping the paragraph spacing the same as the last one (an extra line between each), or you can use the indent button in the site's story editor controls to make indentation stand out more (keep in mind it misses indentation of the first line if you do this so you have to adjust that line manually or add an empty line above it). If you indent the second chapter, it'd be good to do the same for the first and remove the space (though I would recommend no indentation and extra space).
I was so happy Scoot got away! Why was she covered in white foam, though? Did you mean, her face was covered from her mouth as ponies are wont to do?
5857822 Flutterpony
5857822 when horses run hard they sweat white foam
5857830 Oh, wow! I learned something new.
5857822 I asked her the same question about the foam when I read it. You'd expect something like that to be more widely known on a site like this!
5858196 True. Surprising it's not more commonly known.
5858411 don't u guys ever watch westerns?
now we need Dash to go beat the shit out of Bubba.
5858680 she does, doesn't she? BronyPonyMan
5858488 Not nearly often enough. I ought to more.
If I hadn't smelled a girl get hot and heard her pant during a piggy-back ride before I would have doubted Scootaloo could climax so covertly this way. Too cute. I'm happy she's safe.
5858705
5858680
5858818
5858831 sorry I still don't know what I'm doing
5858835 We all start somewhere.
5858889
i don´t know why i thought she would be finally adopted, it was to soon.
Good story, new but i is starting to get really interessting.
5858680 i am not sure why, but i guess whe have a 50% Chance, that Bubba is lying to her, and Dash thinks he is right.
Hmmm nice story, but i still want to wait for at least another chapter, befor i can be show how i want to vote.
They just left.
I was hoping they'll rape her too. 
Thaaat's interesting. I still hope Scoots will be raped more though. Hopefully by Dash who's disgusted by the ruining of her mane.
5859159 thank you thank you.. I know youl love it!
5859969 just keep reading I promise you won't be disappointed!!
5859962
5844268 monokeras I find it interesting that you would compare the two. A Fun Day inspired me to write this one!!!
5859962
what the fuck, man!?! you leave us with that kind of a cliff-hanger!?! you evil bastard!
5870229 BronyPonyMan: ahem, that would be "ma'am." Please. Thanks for reading and commenting!!
5870238 oops, sorry. but your still evil.
Well, I hope Scootaloo survives. Death is too easy and painless.
that's a pretty screwed up dream there. i hope when she wakes up, rainbow is there to comfort her or something
5870898 thank you for reading and commenting!!!!
Quel dommage! Now the series will have no Scootaloo!
i guess i like your story more than i thought i would, and while there are maybe a few to much different fetish things, it has somethingg good about, i just don´t know yet why i like it exactly.
Failcon doesn't go in EQAD.
5872330 thank u I'm sorry
5871824 thank you!!
okay why does she suddenly know this? If she would know this, she would probably still be angry, but she would understand it a bit better, why Scootaloo was maybe so meesed up.
If Rainbow Dash is still a fast flyer in your story, and Cloud city? isn´t just a few feet above the ground, i think she could still catch her.
Still a good story, i mean it is not that kind of story i usually read, but it works somehow.
5881957 Texus i appreciate your comments!! I appreciate that you point out little things, that's telling me you pay attention. Thank you ps remember that Scoots told her about it
The end?
I especially like this chapter. So saucy! Guilt is a big fetish for me, so what happened after the saucy part only makes it better in my opinon.
What's Dash going to do now?!