Featured In8

More Stories12

  • E Tonight I Shall Be Laughter

    Princess Luna decides to work on her Element of Laughter. Captain Bucephalus gives chase.
    8,771 words · 3,315 views  ·  450  ·  4
  • E Pumpkin Cake and the Storm Giant

    On a blustery night, the Cake Twins embark on an epic quest for the legendary Plate of Cookies!
    5,787 words · 3,173 views  ·  352  ·  3
  • E Gummy Tries All Day Long

    Gummy struggles to reach the Ponyville River. All of Ponyville tries to stop him.
    5,873 words · 2,420 views  ·  266  ·  2
  • E The Cake Twins' Surprise Party

    Pumpkin Cake plans a surprise birthday party for her brother. Which is challenging, considering that they are twins.
    1,937 words · 1,056 views  ·  103  ·  0
  • E Today I Will Be a Princess

    Mayor Mare greets a new day. Her faithful clerk defends Ponyville. A party! And after.
    10,879 words · 2,159 views  ·  181  ·  3
  • T It Is My Fate To Enter Every Door

    Blythe Hyacinth Pie goes to visit her family, in Tartarus.
    4,550 words · 1,781 views  ·  262  ·  6
  • E Hearth's Warming Eve: A Princess Promenade

    Ponyville Playhouse presents a bold, new interpretation of Hearth's Warming Eve. Music! Adventure! Intrigue! And a few surprises!
    15,863 words · 1,907 views  ·  195  ·  4
  • T The Rummy Business of Old Blooey

    What ho! Big doin's on the night of the Grand Galloping Gala!
    8,541 words · 1,324 views  ·  159  ·  4

Blog Posts51

  • 8w, 2d
    Shadow Day, Revisited; The Boneyard, Expanded

    I've been stuck on "Shadow Day" for quite awhile, to the point where the rest of my writing has stopped. For this reason, I have reluctantly revoked the story until I can develop a good resolution for it.

    Part of the problem is the Breezies. My original resolution involved re-introducing the Breezies into the MLP universe and I was knocked a-kilter when the series decided to do this without consulting me first. (This is the second time the series has made me abandon a story; I was happily working on a story about a solitary shapechanger, and then the series introduced a whole race of shapechangers. And, try as I might, I couldn't figure out a good way to distinguish my character, the Munkydo, from the Changelings.) I kind of trapped myself by publishing the "Stormy Weather" bits; try as I might, I couldn't figure out a way to get to my desired ending without the Breezies. (Although, Diamond Tiara, Ponyville's new expert on the wonders of methane, had this idea for a stinky fuel-air bomb...)

    A second part of the problem, which many of the kind respondents have noted, is that "Shadow Day" started wandering all over the place. Frankly, I kind of fell in love with the idea of mixing and matching the characters and their roles and I enjoyed trying different things out. This was fun for me, but I don't think it was much fun for the reader. I want to re-focus the story on the four main characters, Twilight, the Mayor, the Mayor's secretary and Pinkie. Each of them has something to teach the other and I don't want that little story lost amidst the sturm und drang of Ponyville battling a Storm Giant.

    I hesitated over the "revoke" button for quite awhile, because I feel it is unfair to the many good respondents that shared their encouragement and thoughtful criticisms with me. But I also feel I owe them a better story than the mess o' pottage that I have produced so far, so I hope they will forgive me.

    From this point on, I will only publish completed stories. No reader, I think, needs to waste time on some half-baked tale when there are plenty of other tasty treats available.

    While I am working on other things, one project that I keep in front of me is a re-write of "The Boneyard." I originally wrote this for a competition and, as many of my respondents have noted, the story suffers for my attempts to compress the story below a word limit. I'd like to slow the pace of the opening down a bit, spend some more time describing the setting and the characters, particularly the revenants. I want to include a scene I wrote about the impact the of Come to Life spell in Equestria, but had to cut for length. "The Boneyard" is my "Earth Ponies are magic" story and I hope, with a bit more work, to help you feel what I felt, when I realized that Earth Ponies, across the span of eons, still see each other as family.

    11 comments · 127 views
  • 20w, 5d
    Bad Gateway 1

    I'm sorry I've been away for awhile. Personal issues. Let's move on.

    I'm kind of stumped about where to go with "Shadow Day." The story spun out of my control at some point, I think because I was confused about where the series was headed. (I really thought that Twilight would end Season Four much like she began. I never imagined her being punched through a mountain!) I think I need to make this story much smaller, and focus just on Twilight, Pinkie, Marigold and Fletcher. While I like the bits about Filthy Rich and his daughter, Diamond Tiara, and adore the scene with Tank, I think this story needs to be pruned a lot.

    I'm pleased that the end of Season Four validates (or, at least, doesn't contradict) my story, "The Tree That Blooms in Darkness."

    That said, while I puzzle over what to do with "Shadow Day," I'm now working on "Bad Gateway," a sequel to "Tonight I Shall Be Laughter." Yes, the title was inspired by an error message I've sometimes observed here on FIMFiction. "Bad Gateway" is about Captain Bucephalus struggling to command the odd lot of ponies assigned to him by the generals of the Royal Guard: a couple of Pegasus ponies, some eccentric Unicorns and the Cheese Family, who rival the Apples in their fecundity.

    8 comments · 157 views
  • 38w, 2d
    The Fox and Hound

    This evening, I decided to fix up some issues with my story, It Is My Fate To Enter Every Door.

    Okay, fine. Pinkie Pie has an older sister. I fudged my story to admit that.*

    Per Benman's suggestion, I've rearranged the opening, so that Emma's story comes to the fore.

    Most importantly, I've added a scene with Vixen the Clever and her nemesis, Laelaps the Hunter. The business with Vixen follows the pattern of mortals dealing with fay spirits. The story of Laelaps is softer; I liked the idea that Laelaps is fond of Vixen, despite her treachery.

    *Fudged again: Matilda Victoria Pie: Maud. I like that the daughters of Clydesdale Pie have these odd, grandiose names. Is it his influence, or hers?

    7 comments · 217 views
  • 39w, 6d
    ISTJ

    I guess at some point in your working life, you will encounter the Myers-Briggs personality profile. This is a kind of four-by-four Sorting Hat that will reveal which of the sixteen houses you belong to.

    I'm an ISTJ. Which, in English, translates to "minion." I am the orc laborer beneath the White Tower, forging swords. I am the contractor on the Death Star, working for benefits. I am one of those ridiculous rubber-suited guys trashed by Mr. Incredible, who were only working for the weekend and free beer.

    As I was sitting through my last lecture about Myers-Briggs, I entertained myself by sorting the Mane Six by temperament. Most were easy-peasy:

    Rainbow Dash: Artisan. Stimulus-seeker, duh!

    Twilight Sparkle: Rational. Knowledge-seeker. She lives in a library!

    Applejack: Guardian. Security-seeker. AJ epitomizes the Guardian type.

    Fluttershy: Idealist. Identity-seeker. How many times have we seen Fluttershy struggle to re-invent herself through her caring for her friends and critters?

    The last two have puzzled me.

    Pinkie Pie. You might assume she is an Artisan. But she lives not for herself, but for other ponies' smiles. I judge her a Champion, a subset of Artisan. The idea that Pinkie is introverted may seem counter-intuitive, but we have seen ("Party of One") that she has a rich inner life.

    Rarity. You could make the slam-dunk of Aritisan and call it a day, but I'm not so sure. I see her as INFJ: introverted, intuitive, feeling and judgmental. It might surprise you that I think of Rarity as introverted, but look at the facts: come rain or shine, good fortune or ill, she works in solitude in her shop and holds to her inner vision. She is a Counselor, I reckon.

    The Myers-Briggs test is not destiny, of course. But thinking about it might give you some insight into a character that you thought you understood. And, if you take the test yourself, some insight into your own thinking.

    7 comments · 214 views
  • 41w, 6d
    Party Canon

    A confession: as a teenager, I adored The Man from U.N.C.L.E. novels. Do not be surprised if this means nothing to you. You are young and these are stories from another age. The Invisibility Affair! If you had an invisibility cloak, of course you would drape it on a zeppelin! That's just what supervillains do!

    James Blish, an author I had admired for his Cities in Flight novels, wrote the earliest Star Trek adaptations which, to be honest, were little more than transcriptions of episodes. Later writers of Star Trek, in this forbidden zone between the original series and its sequels, were happy to flesh out the odd corners of the universe. (How Much For Just the Planet?)

    Alan Dean Foster wrote Splinter of the Mind's Eye, the first Star Wars novel. I'm still a little uncertain about the relationship between Foster and Lucas. There are elements of Splinter that only bore fruit in Revenge of the Sith, years and years later.

    All of these guys had it easy. They were writers for series that were complete or, in Foster's case, in the gap between the first film and its sequel.

    And, here I am, writing My Little Pony fanfiction, an ongoing series, and contemplating an upcoming episode title: It Ain't Easy Being Breezies.

    I have written one story that featured the Breezies, in G3 Equestria. In a couple of incomplete fanfics, not posted here, I've hinted that the Breezies and Derpy are good friends.

    I had this idea, in Shadow Day, that Derpy at last saves the day by convincing her tiny, Breezy friends to turn their monstrous storm castles away from Ponyville. I never imagined that the Breezies, or anything like them, would appear in Season Four. I'm not sure where to go with my story now.

    This is our fate, I guess, as fanfic writers. We have to roll with the punches. Hey! Once, I was writing this great story about a shape-changing creature entering Ponyville. The plight of the shape-changer was moving me to tears. And then, of course, we learned about the Changelings, an entire race of shape-changers. Sigh. My story was tossed into the bit-bucket, never to be seen again.

    Sorry. This is basically a rant. I need to resolve Shadow Day without the Breezies. I've got this idea about Diamond Tiara and methane. I hope it works out.

    UPDATE: Nuts to it. I'm going with the Breezies. "Ready, Whoopsie Daisy?" "After you, Trough Aloft." "Ha ha ha! No, after you, Sky Blink." They nod. "Then, it's settled. Together, it is!"

    8 comments · 183 views
  • ...
 78
 3,684

The world is a strange and wonderful place, particularly if you are a child of Ponyville. Pound and Pumpkin Cake explore their tiny corner of Equestria.

First Published
13th May 2012
Last Modified
2nd Jun 2012
#1 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Day ·

Oh dear! :fluttercry::applecry:

#2 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

AWWWWWW!:rainbowkiss: This is such a sweet and touching story! Please tell me you write children's stories for a living!:raritystarry:

#3 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

I really like this story (especially zen gummy). everything about it (especially the twins' interactions and the Cakes' thoughts) made me smile

Congratulations on writing a great story. have a yay:yay:

#4 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

This was a great story.:pinkiesmile:

The parts with Pound and Pumpkin were my favorite. U made their parts both cute and serious. So good job.

Not to sure how I feel about the ending. Kind of dark, but I do see what you were trying to do.

#5 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

MOAR!!! :flutterrage: :pinkiehappy:

#6 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Morning ·

Daw the twins are so cute, it's so cute to see things from their point of view, ah kids these days. :heart:

#7 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Day ·

Ouch. :fluttershyouch:

#8 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

Aw, it's true what they say, they grow up SO fast these days. :heart:

#9 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

This story is one of the sweetest things I've ever read. You're really good at this.:twilightsmile:

#10 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Morning ·

And this story makes a glorious return! :pinkiesmile:

#11 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

Oh, the pain of those first intimations of mortality, of the possibility of true loss! :fluttershysad:

This was a really lovely story, all told. :yay:

#12 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Night ·

I have no ability what so ever to be even remotely objective at all right now. All I know is that this story gives me the strongest positive purely emotional effect of any FiM story I have ever read, with only 2 other stories even coming close. I actually had to, despite the short chapters, take breaks while reading. Thank you.

#13 · 125w, 4d ago · · · Morning ·

Great to see this back. :pinkiehappy:

#14 · 125w, 4d ago · · · Day ·

Ooh... :pinkiesad2:

#15 · 125w, 4d ago · · · Night ·

If it helps, this story was inspired, in part, by Miyazaki's My Neighbor Totoro. Totoro putters around for awhile, not apparently going anywhere, simply introducing us to the characters and the setting. But the fear of loss, of Mom's unexplained illness, hovers over the story until Satsuki's emotional breakdown. Mom, she understands, could die.

Pumpkin is probably a little young to confront mortality. Hard to know; these little ponies grow up so fast. But it's something we all discover when we're young, ready or not.

A couple of autobiographical points, just between us ponies. My own "Rubber Pullet" was a cheap rubber mouse named Sam, who was my best pal ever in the days when I was penned in a crib. And my mortality moment came when our pet cat was run over by a car. My reaction, then, was much like Pumpkin's: I decided that I would never love anything again, the pain of loss being so great. Happily, I got over it in time, although not as quickly as Pumpkin does here.

#16 · 125w, 4d ago · · · Night ·

I'm still searching for the words to express how wonderful this story was. You've a rare talent within this fandom, and perhaps beyond that as well. While this isn't a new opinion of mine, given what I've seen from Today I Will Be A Princess and this, I still wish, with all my heart, that I could point you out to aspiring authors as a shining example of how to write well, but I fear that doing so would only cause you grief from those envious of your abilities.

That aside, I can only commend you on a job done with sheer excellence, and I look forward to seeing more from you.

#17 · 125w, 4d ago · · · Night ·

I'm working on Today I Will Be A Princess now. The outcome might surprise you. It surprised me.

#18 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

I really liked this. Pound and Pumpkin's narrations were the right mix of cutely naive and genuinely introspective, and I also loved the peek into Pinkie's mind. The ending was a little dark, but it was still heartwarming and is pretty representative of how a little kid's mindset works.

Good job. :yay:

#19 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

An inspiring story. Very beautiful.:pinkiesmile:

#20 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

....I think you just killed a lot of people with this story.

You just weaponized cuteness!

#21 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Day ·

Tank truly is the Don Quixote of tortoises, and not merely because he tilts at windmills. :raritywink:

#22 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

So much sweet sticky syrup! You write very cleanly and smartly, and this was, of course, heartwarming and a joy to read. We are privileged that you take time to write pony stories. :twilightsmile:

#23 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Day ·

Speaking as another author who has taken on the task of exploring Gummy's mind, I must say I approve of this.

#24 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

*has a sudden urge to go hug his teddy bear, which has been with him since he was born*

#26 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

This is the most awesome-sauce story I've read.

Please never stop writing stories.

#27 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

>>700555

Hehe. Slow clop.

#28 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

You have the perfect writing style for something like this. It's childish, yet poetic. It stumbles and meanders, but if you watch the whole thing, it looks like dancing. (Sorry, I'm a bit of a poet myself.) I hope none of that sounds like an insult, because I loved reading every second of it. It's almost hard to read, because it sounds so little like normal speaking. But that's what it's supposed to sound like, isn't it? It's supposed to be the disjointed thought processes of the infants.

In short, fantastic. Love it, love it, love it. :twilightsmile:

#29 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

Awwww! So heartwarming and so cute! I luv it!!! :heart:

#30 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

This was so freaking epic. :moustache::rainbowkiss::moustache::rainbowkiss::moustache::rainbowkiss:

If you're getting Spike moustaches and Dashfaces, that means it's good beyond belief.

#31 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

My typical methods of judging written work seem either inappropriate or insufficient to properly analyse this. I can say that this was intriguing, heartwarming, and offered a perspective rarely seen. It's very difficult to write from the POV of infants or animals, to somehow intertwine the alien way of thinking of such beings with enough familiarity to make the reader empathise with them. You have managed to pull it off very well. I love this story.

My one quibble would be that you should somehow indicate all character's "thoughts" in a distinct style - italics are appropriate, and you seemed to be very hesitant to use them. It does hurt the immersion to have to read to the end of a sentence and then process whether it's a narrative description or an internal monologue.

#32 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

>>702269

You bring up a good point. The use of italics was something I debated with myself a bit while writing the story, since Pound, Pumpkin, Gummy and the Conference of Toys don't have proper speaking voices, so we must necessarily hear their thoughts.

Generally, I tried to refrain from using italics more than necessary, since I think it is usually clear that all of the perceptions and descriptions are those of the point-of-view character. I tried restricting the italic portions to those lines that were tied to a "thinking" verb, like "she wondered" or "he decided" or to places (like the last "Pound" segment) where something like an exchange of thoughts was taking place between characters.

Still, you aren't the only one that has told me that consistently using italics for thoughts would make the text clearer. It's a poor style if it annoys the reader. I'll keep this feedback in mind.

(I'm a little reluctant to go back and re-edit the story right now. I understand that the FIMFiction staff tends to frown on writers fiddling with a story, once it's published, since it might be viewed as an attempt to "game" the system by posting updates that aren't really updates. Anypony have any thoughts on this?)

#33 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

Sweet Celestia, this is just so CUTE! I love how you portrayed the babies' thoughts. It just sounds so... suitable. Yes, that's the word. Two six month old babies and that way of thinking, it just seems so right.:yay:

#34 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Morning ·

3...2...1...D'AWWWWWW!

#35 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Day ·

I like how Pinkie Pie plans what ship she is going to be a part of every morning. :P

#36 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Morning ·

:heart: This first chapter is just so adorable! The perons (1st and I think it's 2nd or 3rd) sometimes switched, but aside from that it was so awesome. Love the interaction between Mr. and Mrs. Cake, too.

#37 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Morning ·

Did you paraphrase Mark Twain there? "Wheresoever she went, there was Eden."

#38 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

This was wonderfully cute and heartwarming,

#39 · 125w, 2d ago · · · Day ·

:rainbowkiss: (just because I have nothing to say about the story)

#40 · 125w, 1d ago · · · Night ·

>>703382

From The Diary of Adam and Eve. Good catch.

#41 · 125w, 1d ago · · · Night ·

My gosh, this story is just so precious. I had plenty of squees, and a happy sigh at the end. :pinkiesmile:

#42 · 125w, 1d ago · · · Night ·

D'aww, this story was so adorable! It was great seeing everything from the various Cakes' perspectives. It was a touching little story too, emphasizing the magic of... family.

TBBBF.

#43 · 125w, 15h ago · · · Day ·

awwwwwwww, he hurt himself :fluttercry:

These chapters are great

#44 · 125w, 15h ago · · · Night ·

AHHHHHH!!!!! CREEPY CHICKEN THINGIE!!!!!

This story was so adorable. I loved it so much. Five out of one party cannons

#45 · 124w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

daaawwwwwwwwwwwww~ :rainbowkiss:

thats all i have to say

also

keep up the cuteness

#46 · 124w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

This story reminds me very much of the chapters in "Mary Poppins" regarding the Bank's fraternal twins.  It took this premise that children are very aware of their world, but added an interesting tenet.  They are aware because they are newly split from the source of life, still able to hear the voice of the universe.  But as they age it fades and by the time of teething, their initial selves are gone.

Only Mary Poppins remembered, and she was The Great Exception.  :twilightsmile:

#47 · 124w, 2d ago · · · Morning ·

The world according to a pair foals.  Truly astounding the mind of an infant is.

#48 · 124w, 1d ago · · · Night ·

I absolutely loved the interaction Pumpkin had with Zecora. Come to think of it, Pumpkin was probably my favorite character out of this whole story since she was given such a sweet and loving personality from the start.

And the fact that she'd learned the concept of death at six months old: That's the most hardcore thing I've ever read.

Very nicely done. Loved this story. :pinkiehappy:

#49 · 122w, 4d ago · · · Night ·

Damn. I finally got around to reading this, and I was expecting a nice little cute story. I definitely got that, but I felt actually moved at points.

I applaud you, good sir. You have written something great from a very simple premise.

#50 · 121w, 2d ago · · · Night ·

:twilightsmile: this is sooo cute! Have a heart :heart:

Login or register to comment