Pandora is the last hope of humanity, which faced extinction due to years of conflict between the Humans and the Shades, a race of shadow like huminiods that feed off of life energy. In a desperate attempt to save their species the humans created Pandora, a massive storage device that will hold all of humanity in stasis until a time when it is safe to come out.
Pan a young man had agreed to be the key to unlocking Pandora when that time comes and he was then put into a separate container away from Pandora to await the day when Pandora needs to be activated.
Many years later following the events after A Canterlot Wedding, Chrysalis queen of the changlings has lost everything. Her hive is dead and she is left alone to wander the Everfree in loneliness. She soon stumbles upon Pan's stasis tank and agrees to help him save humanity. Now the two must face danger after danger as they try to uncover the secret of Pandora and the key to humanities salvation.
Good, Minor grammacal errors but you could stretch out the chapters a little
D: Man I missed it when Twighlight was the one that discovered the race. Oh well at least this gives Chrysalis a chance to redeem herself.
Has the posiblility to become a great story. Now for a little advice;
Don't become lazy, keep up (and if possible, increase) the level of quality you put into these two chapters. Next, dont worry about how many "likes" or "dislikes" you get, most new stories have a reletivly even amount of each. And finaly, keep the story consistent. keep the pace nice and steady, don't rush the description in some some places and don't over describe in others.
you do this and you will have a very good story.
Marked as favorite.
I like it so far. Some grammar errors but not enough to be distracted by. I'd prefer the chapters to be a bit longer, hard to get interested in a story when it ends before you really get a chance to get excited about it.
This looks interesting so far. I'll have to keep track of it and see where it goes.
Never say its your, "first attempt" it just scrares people away.
Add a little more elaboration to the conversation betwean charecters, have Pan ask more questions and try to avoid repeating words like you did with "thick"
592234 thanks?
Great! Really improving by every chapter
chapter seems aight n such
592330
Its an intersting story and I want to see it go far. You had me hooked at the begining.
Eh, it's alright so far. Not the best, as it just doesn't seem to flow at a steady pace, or it flows too quickly, but that's only a minor annoyance for me with this.
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The chapters are very short. I think in the future, you should make them longer and more detailed. But other than that, good story so far. Keep it up, and update again soon.
Like it so far and please work on extending chapter length
Please more
Your summary reminds me of an old twilight zone episode.
I'll see how it actually turns out when I read it.