6490709 I don't know why I'm just now responding to this but I am. Your statements are valid and have been considered and were also being planned on being implemented beforehand. All questions shall be answered eventually. And some questions have been answered in the second chapter. Enjoy and thank you for commenting as well.
"What are toes?" Rainbow Dash asked. Noel magicked off his armored boot, leaving his foot bare and he wiggled his toes in response. "Those are toes." "Oh. Neat."
*cricket noises* Okay...I go home now. But in all seriousness, you've got a good story goin' on, so keep up the good work. The characters are unique and this "Mary Sue Slayer" fic is a particularity well done breath of fresh air...
However, I have a few questions out of curiosity... This Noel character, who is he? How was he inspired. He particularly reminds me of another Noel who is > A hunter of monsters > Travels through space-time and is technically hundreds of years old... > Brown hair, magical, and adept in swordsmanship (preferring two blades for combat) > Determined, at times reckless but soft spoken and carefree
We learn there are demons here, for some reason. Sadly, that’s all we learn. Why and how remain a mystery. Like many other things.
We learn that hunters have the power to resurrect. One wonders how they can have casualties with that power at hand.
She even has one of those southern American accents from Earth! That's so awesome!
If you’re making a case that there’s some connection between Earth’s dialects and Equestria’s dialects, then make it. Here, you just claim it without arguing it. In my head-canon, any similarities are just coincidence.
Applejack stepped forward. "So, how are you able to speak Equestrian?" "You mean English. As for how... I'm just going to go with cosmic coincidence."
You seem to have the same head-canon, which that Applejack’s dialect is, in fact, not southern American.
We see Noel meeting mane 6. It feels a bit forced because they’re just there like they don’t have a life of their own. They don’t have any clear motivation; they’re just there so Noel can chit-chat with them.
It’s weird that Noel feels more like Mary Sue than Mary Sues he’s hunting.
Well, my master established the Mary Sue Hunters. As for what purpose... I'm not sure.
I’m just a serial killer. Not sure why. I never really questioned it.
One, yes, humans from EARTH normally can't use magic. I'm not from Earth.
A hint of worldbuilding…
"That just raises so many more questions...." "Well too bad, I'm tired and I really need to get back to work.
...cut short.
I think this story could work well as a sequel. Without a prequel, however, things just go unexplained and the more the reader reads, the more confused the reader is. Stories should be the reverse of that. They should explain more and more, preferably leading to an enlightenment of the reader by the end.
6490709 I don't know why I'm just now responding to this but I am. Your statements are valid and have been considered and were also being planned on being implemented beforehand. All questions shall be answered eventually. And some questions have been answered in the second chapter. Enjoy and thank you for commenting as well.
WHAT ARE TOEESSS?!
*cricket noises* Okay...I go home now.
But in all seriousness, you've got a good story goin' on, so keep up the good work. The characters are unique and this "Mary Sue Slayer" fic is a particularity well done breath of fresh air...
However, I have a few questions out of curiosity...
This Noel character, who is he? How was he inspired. He particularly reminds me of another Noel who is
> A hunter of monsters
> Travels through space-time and is technically hundreds of years old...
> Brown hair, magical, and adept in swordsmanship (preferring two blades for combat)
> Determined, at times reckless but soft spoken and carefree
Did I mention he's from Final Fantasy?
ci.memecdn.com/761/3477761.jpg
Is this story a sequel to something?
Chapter 2
We learn there are demons here, for some reason. Sadly, that’s all we learn. Why and how remain a mystery. Like many other things.
We learn that hunters have the power to resurrect. One wonders how they can have casualties with that power at hand.
If you’re making a case that there’s some connection between Earth’s dialects and Equestria’s dialects, then make it. Here, you just claim it without arguing it. In my head-canon, any similarities are just coincidence.
You seem to have the same head-canon, which that Applejack’s dialect is, in fact, not southern American.
We see Noel meeting mane 6. It feels a bit forced because they’re just there like they don’t have a life of their own. They don’t have any clear motivation; they’re just there so Noel can chit-chat with them.
It’s weird that Noel feels more like Mary Sue than Mary Sues he’s hunting.
I’m just a serial killer. Not sure why. I never really questioned it.
A hint of worldbuilding…
...cut short.
I think this story could work well as a sequel. Without a prequel, however, things just go unexplained and the more the reader reads, the more confused the reader is. Stories should be the reverse of that. They should explain more and more, preferably leading to an enlightenment of the reader by the end.
Hmmm... I can see what you talking about in your PM. I'll read further and PM you what I think.