• Member Since 23rd Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 22nd, 2017

divinearcadia


First and foremost, Twilight Sparkle is the pony after my own heart :3 and as such, I love books quite a bit as well as the art of the story. I hope you enjoy the tales I weave.

T

For centuries, the legacy of the Alicorns has been a bittersweet memory of a time of harmony. A great cataclysm took them from the face of the planet, leaving their charges, the Avens, the Magi and the Earthlanders to tend to their shattered kingdom. They maintain a peace enforced by their continual need of support from one another, for providing something that one of the other tribes cannot provide.

However, centuries after the fall of the Alicorns, the cataclysm returns upon the eve of the Congregation, the annual meeting involving a chosen representative of each race to put on an appearance of harmony.

Lost, confused and in need of champions, the three races band together and send out their chosen champions to seek out the lost treasures of the Alicorns. The treasures that had been lost for so long that they were merely myth until a sliver of truth is found in their greatest time of need to point the way. These treasures could save them all, if the being behind the great cataclysm doesn't stop them first...

This story is a commission for CatStatAve
Edited by the eternally awesome MythrilMoth

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 65 )

Hmm...

Well, there doesn't seem to be much of a story yet, but you're certainly making an interesting world. I'll keep my eye on this one.

5766144
It's only going to get more interesting... and I hope you like how everything comes about :twilightsmile: I'm just the conduit for CatStatAve... she's the real inspiration behind it :ajsmug:

One chapter in and I'm drawing mental images left and right! A good start! I think I'll finish what's been posted and then gush. Y'know, so I don't have to type it more than once. :rainbowwild:

Note to readers: If you read this within the first 3 hours after it was posted, please reread it. I hadn't finished editing this chapter when it first went up.

Oh, wow. This is indeed very interesting. Between the crazed politics, the odd twist on the FiM universe (which I am thoroughly enjoying), and the vivid descriptors at work here, I'm really loving this story so far! I'm glad I humored Mythril and came over here to read this, given it's 11PM as I type this and I should have gone to bed. I regret nothing.

My only comment for this chapter in particular is that Rainbow has a very interesting relationship with her father. Looks to me like they might butt heads a lot, but they're still very close. I like this interpretation of that relationship, as imagining RD as a kid having a rebellious streak is not hard.

Definitely keeping tabs on this story. :pinkiehappy:

cool fic, but I think that you have tag it with wrong tag

This look's extremely interesting. I really wanna see where this goes. :rainbowdetermined2:

Although I'm ashamed at how many words I had to Google. :facehoof:

playfully kissing a knuckle that got close enough.

I cant explain it but I pissed myself at that.
I can very easily picture Pinkie Pie doing just that. For no other reason than maybe getting a few chuckles from anyone witnessing the match.

Ultimate fighter Pinkie is best Pinkie...:pinkiehappy:

Hmm... great potential, this world has. :twilightsmile:

Yes... Yes, this is good, I like this. :yay:

Something different.
Something bold.
Something I wouldn't normally see myself getting into.

But I must see this through, even if for such childish reasons as;
- Pinkie Pie beating the snot out of others just for a laugh.:pinkiesmile:
- Spike the knight, beating the snot out of others defending Rarity.:moustache:
- Rainbow Dash, beating the snot out of others cause they piss her off. :rainbowdetermined2:
- Twilight possibly going all super saiyan and beating the snot out of others, for... I dunno, over bending the spine on a book or something. :twilightangry2:
- Fluttershy the medic, kissing boo-boos.
- And maybe, just maybe a little Apple Pie. :ajsmug: (I'm not expecting action, I can read the tags. It doesn't mean they cant be all lovey dovey.)

Bring it on!

The treasures that had been lost for so long that all thought they were lost.

lost for so long that all thought they where lost

:ajbemused:

Really?

Would make more sense if they where "lost for so long that they had become little more than myth" or something like that

Comment posted by etherealunessence deleted Mar 23rd, 2015

>> StarChaser01
I wasn't the most awake at the time, especially having just worked a six day workweek :pinkiesick:

Heh. Every time I read "Aven" I think of the anthropomorphic bird-people of Magic: the Gathering. Moving on...

Hmm. Appropriate that we haven't actually seen Fluttershy. This narrative is going to have to coax her out of hiding. The Aven seem even more militarily focused than pegasi, and much less integrated with the other races. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out when it really gets going.

(Oh, and nice touch with making Shy and Dash's parents bitter political rivals. That'll make for all kinds of entertaining conflict later on.)

Cool story. I how the Mane 6 are introduced.

5767461 I can see why you'd think it'd need the Human tag instead of the Anthro tag, since the Avens are the only noticeably unusual ones. It's supposed to be anthro, it just...doesn't really feel all that anthro.

5769346 Gah! That's one I missed when I was editing. Blame me for that.

The tale itself is beginning to unfold, I see. At first I was worried Flutters was out of character, but I guess this is an alternate universe where she was raised in the military and groomed for the part... and we haven't seen her interact with family before, so maybe she is more assertive with them. Aside from the earlier parts of the chapter, though, this was a non-issue, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Flash and Fluttershy as cousins. :rainbowhuh: I did not see that coming.

The contrasting descriptions of the two though was very well done, I liked it. :twilightsmile:

Bringing in Flash Sentry is a bold move, let's see how this plays out. I personally don't understand the hatred he has garnered. But then again I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack. :derpytongue2:

I am really liking this story and am chompin at the bit to see where it goes.:yay:

P.S. More Ultimate Fighter Pinkie Pie. :ajsmug:

Fluttershy seems... a pretty big contrast to her canon characterization. Most of the time she felt pretty opposite to her canon portrayal: unsympathetically critical toward others (Flash, really, whom you're going the extra mile to portray as... pretty bad, overall, it seems) and extremely confident in situations where apparently she had a high chance of being criticized brutally (with her aunt). The only part where she seemed like Fluttershy was in the very last part, and only because her excitement did feel like Fluttershy's excitement.

It was like reading your Pinkie Pie eagerly inflicting more wounds onto her opponent, for no reason other than apparently spite, although overall Pinkie is much closer to canon.

I get the AU thing but... seems pretty weird to have a characterization for just Fluttershy that breaks canon so much, whereas for everyone else their characters stick very close to canon in a new situation.

Still, everything seems to be shaping up pretty interestingly.

5840145
As far as Fluttershy goes, I see her as having a dual personality, especially in a setting like this. You even see it in the show (very rarely), but I thought that this would make for a great contrast of personality traits since she would still have a painfully shy nature to others, but would be much more assertive to her own family (and friends close enough to her). As far as Flash goes, he's a bit carefree at times, but generally quite good about taking care of his obligations... Sometimes he'll slip up, but he always makes up for it in his earnest way. As far as the interaction between the two, it's actually been like that for a while, Fluttershy playing the "Straightman" to keep Flash in line while he does things to help her try to lighten up. It's a dynamic that looks odd at first, but you've only seen the one chapter with their interactions.

5841913
Using words like scurried, and describing Flash in a way sets him up as scared of her isn't Fluttershy being "more assertive" or the straightman who keeps him in line when he steps out of it. Seems more like she's domineering. He screwed up, therefore she extracts a penalty because he's irresponsible. His earnestness disappears if he is afraid when he's doing it.

It's not a very attractive relationship to read about.

5842033
I used "scurried" instead of "hurried" to give it a bit of humor, that he was a bit hastier in getting around than usual.

As far as their relationship with each other goes, it's a constant back and forth between them but with no animosity. In all honesty, I based it off my relationship with my younger sister. When we give each other a hard time, we always fake the hard case (which Fluttershy almost lost when she almost laughed as they were about to fly off). It seems weird and from the outside it looks like we're constantly at each others throats, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.

5842137
If the intention is to have it be an affectionate jokingly harsh back-and-forth, then it was just a poor establishing shot, I guess. Might have been less harsh seeming if she did break out laughing, and the scene turned around to seem friendly... but as it is, it's indistinguishable from him being genuinely afraid and cowed by her, even if he later turned around and is protective of her (which isn't mutually exclusive to him being afraid of her.)

5842258
Yeah, it does need a bit of a rewrite in that section... I just have a hectic and near spontaneous work schedule (six day work weeks more often than not along with random overtime tossed on top of that :derpytongue2:), so I don't have much of a chance to go back over a chapter after I finish it and publish it :facehoof:

Twilight was wearing the traditional garb that she had beet fitted for days ago

been

Oh, where to begin?

The fight scene was awesome! I saw every movement materialize in my mind's eye as I read them, and it was glorious! Dash was totally in character, and Star Catcher proved to be way better than I'd initially given her credit for. A couple Aven-specific questions before I'd like to move on, though.

1) How rare, exactly, is an Aven with the capability to shoot lightning? Are we talking Twilight-levels, relatively speaking?
2) Wasn't Star Catcher a former General, or something? Surely Rainbow would have known her father's rival would be able to defeat her in a fight, right?

The Earthlander part was my personal least favorite, but that was more because I'm biased against shipping. It was nice, though, to see Maud's calculated plans bounce off of Pinkie's highly emotional, illogical ways of thinking in their 'argument'.

And the Magi part, I don't need to comment on that. Everyone was in character, Twilight was adorkable in a very Twilight way, and we're all set for the Congregation proper. I wonder if there'll be trouble? Oh, who am I kidding, of course something will happen! Otherwise, what's the point in the adventure tag? :rainbowwild: ...but seriously, I am super hyped for the next chapter!

An enjoyable chapter. Good job.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

5876627 My bad. I had to rush edit because of thunderstorms that have been plaguing my neck of the woods all week. :twilightoops: Thanks for catching that one!

5876911
Generally, summoning lightning is the make it or break it part for progressing in the ranks of the Aven military above a Captain rank (unless serious commendations from higher ups are taken into consideration) and is moderately uncommon (like getting into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns). There are quite a few factors that come into summoning it, but let's just say that it's only one of four unique powers that only Avens can utilize. Star Catcher's is another sect and I'll leave the other two a mystery for now. I will say that summoning lightning and what Star Catcher does is intrinsically linked, but the scope of power and mental fortitude to use one over the other is like comparing an anthill to a mountain and I'm sure it shows in her steely determination. Dash may get on Star's level after some intensive training, but not anytime soon.

Also, I love some Apple Pie :pinkiesmile: :ajsmug: There will be some other shipping as well (as requested by CatStatAve), but the Apple Pie is mine :derpytongue2: Something about how the two complement each other sits just right in the romance department for me :rainbowkiss:

5877641

Alright, well, so long as the romance aspect doesn't overshadow the rest of the fic in a big way, I can deal with it. If this chapter is an indication of the level of romance, then I think I'll be fine. After all, I have read far worse in my time here on FimFiction, I can tell that already.

As for 'what Star Catcher does' I'm not sure if I misread, but I don't think I caught it. Was it that ice attack thing?

Also, I did kinda notice she was an exceptionally gifted individual, with probably years of special training to hone her skills. I'd assume Dash's potential is similar, but untapped and untamed.

This is quickly becoming one of the stories I get really excited about when I see a new chapter. Keep up the amazing job you're doing, and you'll hear nothing but praise from me! ...except typo notifications. Nopony escapes typos.

5877729
The 'thing' Star Catcher did to make herself faster than Rainbow Dash when she was fully unleashing her acceleration magic. The thing where she moves so fast that she appeared to flicker instead of blur, even when attacked from behind with a lightning bolt. The bit with her breaking the bolt of lightning was just her being stronger than the attack :rainbowderp:

5877875

Oh, I gotcha. I had just credited that to an extreme power difference, but now that I look back on it, it does seem like more.
Though, to be fair, it is the first magically-charged fight scene we've had, so I didn't have much to compare it against.

No wonder Fluttershy's so timid... with a mother that strong, one would have to melt into the woodwork after a bad day at work! :rainbowwild:

5877891
Her power was one of the main reason she was made a Battalion-Commander as well :rainbowdetermined2: She had to be strong enough to rebuke challenges to her authority if she were in the field and no superiors above herself were present. To say that she had unquestioningly loyal Commanders under her would be an understatement. The fact that they were also her friends out of duty speaks volumes about her character :rainbowkiss: She's an extreme case of being a Tsundere. She seems like she's the roughest hard case out there, but she's only like that because she well and truly cares for those who are under her and doesn't want to see any of them get screwed over by anyone

5877926

So, mess with Star Catcher's flock, and you'll get messed up. Good to know!
I'm eager to see what kinds of shenanigans might follow, or (heavens forbid) interrupt the Congregation!

I'm also curious as to the history Star Catcher and Starswirl have, but I guess we'll find out when that comes up, then.

Maud feels a bit too demonstrative for my tastes, though I suppose a career in politics would change that. Still, seeing her emote that much is weird.

Aside from that? Cool chapter, especially the chance to see Aven magic in the form of close-quarters combat.

I don't need a Pinkie Sense to tell things are about to get very interesting. :pinkiehappy:

Just when I found the Applepie shipping getting dull, reality itself seemed to crack. Good timing there. I wonder what's happening, and how it will affect the Congregation.

Another enjoyable chapter. Good work.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

Haha! Maud's plan was ruined by the fact that there is an unknown threat, possibly a dragon.

Flash is in this too?!

Hmmm...

Where is Sunset Shimmer then?

5917544 She's in the editor's bed, being screwed by the editor.

“Anyway, if you two are quite done with... whatever it is that you're doing...”

My first thought was in portal 2 when Glados says, "go ahead and do whatever you do when you're not destroying this facility."

Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

Discord? Chaos magic might not show up on Pinkie's detector.

Snow in summer? We must do research! I suppose Starswirl is an acceptable substitute for a crochety chi wizard/antique shop owner.

The story develops a bad case of talking heads during Twilight and Starswirl's discussion, but other than that, a nice chapter. Looking forward to more.

Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

“Hey, Quak,”

I was gonna say it should be Quake, but then I realized I would just be yelled at.:fluttershyouch:

6018637
That wasn't a typo :rainbowlaugh: and if it were, I would gladly correct it :rainbowkiss:

Mac and Quake have a bit of an odd relationship as far as a subordinate/CO goes and Quake has this thing about going to hedge doctors/snake oil salesmen hoping to find a cure-all panacea one of these days. Mac calls him Quak because he's worse than a misinformed doctor, pushing his remedies on his subordinates :rainbowwild: Mac took his advice once and called him a quak after he was laid up for three days with stomach cramps when he only had a head cold that would have been gone in half a day :derpytongue2:

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