“You’re hesitant because you can’t believe the possibility. Tell me though, wouldn’t you like to take the chance to discover the thrill of true power?”
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5741715
Never underestimate the feelings...and stupidity of a man in love.
In this chapter you use the term "deserve" in a bizzare way.
Here:
And here:
If you want to use the word deserve you'd need to rephrase the sentences, but the word entitlement slides into those places pretty well.
So far i see this going 3 ways.. maybe 4
1: Spike gets into cuckolding
2: Spike actually mans up and becomes the Dom
3: Sombra helps Spike man up
5744830
options 1 and 2 boil down to IF spike learns that Rarity is cheating on him with Sombra. Seriously, I doubt that Spike will truly know the gist of what's going on...
And I can't see Sombra actually help Spike man up--after all he's fucking his supposed wife.
Whatever happens though, it looks to get ugly in the near future. Somebody's gonna slip, more than likely Rarity...
maybe I'm the only guy to notice this, but the image of Spike, Rarity, and Sombra, seems to be changing with every chapter revealed. At the beginning it showed Rarity and Spike, about equal to each other, then when Sombra is introduced, It shows all three of them. But lately with each chapter, the image is showing that there is more of Rarity cuddling to Sombra, while Spike is gradually fading from the picture..
I have to say, it is ingenious that something as simple as a picture and gradual changes parallel what is really going on with the three characters. Sad to say, it could eventually lead to foreshadowing that Spike is leaving the picture (he's gonna leave Rarity of his own accord), but again I applaud you for that concept.
A picture truly is worth a thousand words.
5744758
Indeed..."deservedness" would be the correct (if archaic) word, but I found it too long and less than aesthetic for the structure. I'll try to rephrase those sentences. Thanks for the observation, and your opinions.
5744896
Thanks for the compliment, the gradually changing cover was a little effort that I felt would made the most use of what we can do here in Fimfiction. Now here's a tip, the size of the characters are not the only changes in the picture. But most likely you need to see the image up close (click on it) to notice another slow change that have been happening right in front of your eyes.
And everyone else, I appreciate that your truly are feeling the darkness of this tale and with it, giving it life with your commitment. As for what comes next, there are still one or two twists right at the end that I bet no one is going to see coming.
5744896
Hah. You know, I did notice when Sombra suddenly showed up (and the spoilered text changed from "some cheating" to "blatant cheating"), but I didn't notice that it was changing beyond that.
5745099
Looking forward to seeing the "twist" you got in store for us
5745099
Oh, well okay then.
Wait a minute......you sly dog!!! I didnt see that at first, until you mentioned it....shit really is gonna hit the fan soon....
The only reason i´m giving you a like is because your fic is well made, i completely dislike the theme, it hurts me physically to read it, opinions aside, i have 2 possible endings for it:
1- The "Twist" ending: it is all a "dream", either from Rarity or Spike, the lack of a sexual life might have induced them these dreams where they desires and insecureties are unbound by logic or common sense, its all raw emotion.
2-The "eye" ending: if it is any indication, in the ending Rarity may "see" that the pleasure she is getting from Spike is way too bad, she "sees" that all that sheps been doing relly is harming him, and realizes that she´s been how selfish sehe been.
Its all theory, maybe youra going for the actually "fuck happiness for Spike" ending, but at least i got it out of my system.
P.S.: can you at least say how many chaptes left until the end?