Adventure Calls
Twilight Velvet walked along what she assumed was a path through the woods. It was hard to tell, really, since it didn't seem like a lot of ponies traversed this area. All she could see was … well, that was just it. She'd never even seen plants like that. They seemed like they should be more at home in a jungle, rather than the moderate climate of Central Equestria she was used to. At least they didn't seem to be hiding any predators, except for the snakes that is. She'd almost been bitten three times already this morning.
Quietly she wondered how she'd gotten stuck with this assignment as she rechecked the map to make out her position on the winding path. She'd told her publisher that she'd wanted to take a break from writing. Since the birth of her second foal, she'd become increasingly busy with being a mother. Staying up late into the night, a cup of cold coffee on her desk, it simply wasn't a good way to raise children.
As a result, she'd brought the story of her popular title character in a book series to a satisfying conclusion and declared it finished. Both the fans and her publisher had been disappointed but accepting of her decision.
Unwilling to let one of their star authors go completely, the publishing company had made her an offer. She was to take on the role of editor for fledgling writers, which meant more regular hours while still bringing home some bits to support her family.
The reason she'd agreed was that, after six months as a stay-at-home mom, she was beginning to go stir crazy. Her daughter, Twilight, was finally old enough to be left in the care of their lovely foalsitter Cadence for at least half a day, which gave Velvet the chance to stretch her legs and get back into the industry, even if it was in a new capacity.
Still, a trip to what seemed to be the remote end of Equestria was not what she'd had in mind for her job with 'more regular hours.' Canterlot was her home, and she'd never strayed too far from it.
Eventually the gloom of the forest lifted, and Velvet found herself in a clearing. “Guess this is it,” she told herself, putting the map away in her saddlebag. She wondered why anypony would willingly live out in the middle of nowhere like this. But she wasn't here to judge. She was here for a meeting.
She got a good view of the little cottage as she approached and found it to be in disrepair. The thatched roof didn't look like it was completely watertight, and the wood seemed to be rotting in one corner of the house. Wondering if she'd come to the wrong place after all, since she couldn't imagine anypony living here, Velvet raised her hoof to knock on the wooden door.
To her surprise, it opened at her touch. The door was unlocked. Cautiously, she stuck her head in. “Hello? Anypony home? Miss Yearling?”
There was a moment of silence, then a reply from the back of the cottage. “Just a minute! Come on in!”
Reasoning that she did have the right address after all, Velvet stepped inside. Running water could be heard. It seemed like the occupant was taking a shower. Velvet looked around the sparse living room. There wasn't a lot of furniture apart from the desk with an antique typewriter on it. On a peg, next to the door, rested the curious assortment of a green shirt, a tropical helmet and a leather whip.
The water stopped, and a pegasus mare with a light gold coat and streaked gray mane entered the room. “Miss Yearling?” Velvet asked hopefully.
“Just a sec,” the mare replied, pulling out a package wrapped in plain brown paper from its hiding place under her desk. “Here you go,” she said, pushing it towards her.
Velvet blinked. “Pardon?”
Miss Yearling cocked her head. “Aren't you with the museum? I thought you were here to pick up the package?”
There was something fishy about the way she'd phrased that. Velvet had written enough mysteries to get her thinking of several possibilities. But she decided to clarify the situation. “No. No, I'm not. My name is Twilight Velvet. I'm with Horseshoe Publishing? They told me that they'd sent you a letter, informing you that I was coming.”
“Oh.” Yearling didn't break her stride, but she did immediately push the package out of Velvet's reach. “Sorry. Mail's a little slow out here. Is this about the manuscript I sent in? What did they think?”
“Well, that's the reason I'm here. Do you mind?” Velvet pointed at the desk, and Yearling motioned for her to go ahead. Levitating the manuscript with its annotations and marked pages onto the table with her magic, she began: “First of all, anypony who read it agreed that the story has a lot of potential.”
“Right?” the pegasus mare said. “It's awesome, isn't it?”
“Yes, though some improvements could be made before it goes to print.”
“Improvements? Like what, Miss Velvet?”
“Just call me Velvet.” Knowing how unnerving the first meeting with a new editor could be, she tried to established a relaxed atmosphere. She flipped to a certain passage. “While all the traps are very clever and well thought out, and the characterization of your heroine and her adversaries is remarkably detailed, the prose is a little lacking in parts. At times, it reads more like an archeologist's field report than an adventure story.”
“I like attention to detail.”
“And there's nothing wrong with that, but it breaks the flow of the story. I can help you with spacing these passages out a little better. Now, about the title...”
Yearling gave her a big smile. “It's awesome, isn't it? Miss Adventure and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue. Took me a week to come up with it.”
Velvet grimaced at that. “Well, the second part is fine. It's about the name you chose for your protagonist. Frankly, anypony who first picked up your manuscript thought it would be a satire of the genre, rather than a straight-up adventure.”
Yearling blinked in confusion. “Why?”
“Miss Adventure,” Velvet stressed, only to be met with a blank stare from the pony who had written that manuscript. The unicorn decided to change venue and get back to that one later. “What about this Dr. Caballeron? His primary motivation seems to be greed. I think it might be a good idea to make him a dragon. That would open some possibilities for the future. I assume he's gonna be a recurring character with more impact in future stories?”
The author gave her a confused look. “Caballeron isn't a dragon.”
“No, of course not. But he could be.”
Yearling thought about that. “Well, sure. If we tracked down the Rings of Reception from the Valley of Flame, any of us could become a dragon. But why would he do that? He'd probably rather sell them.”
“I didn't mean making it a plot point. I meant making his character a dragon from the start,” she tried to explain slowly.
Only the pegasus didn't seem to get it, looking at Velvet as if she was crazy. “Where is this dragon stuff coming from? Caballeron isn't a dragon.”
Velvet groaned. She'd seen it before, even experienced it herself, that reluctance of a first-time author to change anything and close their mind to any suggestions from the outside, thinking their work was perfect. She'd seen so many of her fellow writers go down that road and never realize their full potential as a result. “Look, I know what it's like to be asked to make changes, but ...”
“Excuse me,” a male voice interrupted the two mares from the door. “I'm here to pick up a package?” the earth pony stallion in a delivery company uniform said.
“Right. 'Scuse me for a moment, Velvet.”
For the second time, she saw the pegasus pick up the wrapped package under her wing. Approaching the stallion, she was just about to hand it over when she spotted something on his outstretched hoof, where the sleeve of his uniform was rolled up. “That's an interesting tattoo,” she said. “I've seen one just like it among the tribesponies of the Tenochtitlan Basin.”
“Oh, this?” he replied without a change in expression. “I got this in Fillydelphia. The mares love it.”
“I can imagine. Looks good on you,” she told him with a big smile.
Bang!
Faster than Velvet's eyes could follow, she'd brought up her hoof and nailed the delivery pony squarely on the chin. She passed the package back with her wing. “Velvet!” she barked. “Hang on to this for a minute, will ya?”
“What?” The startled unicorn caught the object thrown at her in her magic, but she felt completely clueless as to what was suddenly going on.
The stallion had shaken off his momentary daze and lunged at Yearling. Flaring her wings, she avoided him and dove for the whip hanging next to the door. Meanwhile the stallion shifted his attention to Velvet, his eyes fixed on the package.
Velvet could only stare in horror as he started towards her. Then there was the sharp crack of a whip, and the stallion stumbled. His hooves caught in the whip, his muzzle scraped across the floor a little further, stopping inches from her hooves.
Yearling was quick to hog-tie him in a fashion that seemed far too well practiced for her to be doing this for the first time. “Alright, come out!” she yelled. “I know there's more of you.”
As if on cue, a bulky diamond dog with an angry scar above his left eye burst through the window from the outside. Frightened and startled, Velvet could only scream as he snatched the package from her grasp.
“Oh, no! You don't!” Yearling went straight for him, but he was more agile than he looked, avoiding her attack much like she'd done with the stallion earlier.
The dog cackled as he jumped clear of her and made for the door with his prize. Yearling whirled around, giving Velvet a quick glance. “I'm sorry,” Velvet told her in a panic.
“No, I'm sorry,” the pegasus said.
“About what?”
“'Bout this.” She grabbed the pearl necklace Velvet was wearing to make a good first impression with the flexible digits of her wings, ripping it from the unicorn's throat and flinging the now loose pearls across the room.
Apparently under the impression he was clear, the diamond dog didn't realize what was happening until one of his feet hit a pearl rolling along the floor. As he let out a yelp, his leg shot up in front of him, and he crashed into the wall.
“Gotcha!” The pegasus made her way back to the front door, where the package had dropped, only to find a large shadow looming in front of her.
Between her and the package, a large minotaur entered the cottage, having to slightly bend forward in order to even fit through the door. Wordlessly, he took out a pair of nunchakus and started whirling them around his body at amazing speeds.
Yearling stood her ground, gauging her opponent. There was a bead of sweat on her forehead as she licked her lips, trying to decide her best option to attack.
Clonk!
“Ahh!” The large minotaur screamed when a small inkwell hit him squarely in the forehead, spilling its contents right in his eyes. Dropping his weapons, he flailed around blindly to find his way, only to get turned around and conk himself out on the door frame. His massive body hit the floor with a resounding thud.
Yearling turned around to give the unicorn, whose horn was still glowing from throwing the inkwell, a big grin. “Nice shot.”
“Thanks,” Velvet replied, completely out of breath from the ordeal, even though she hadn't actually physically exerted herself.
The first two goons had come around. Seeing their large companion knocked out cold on the floor, they decided to cut their losses, picked him up and made a run for it.
“Yeah, that's right! Tell Ahuizotl if he wants to tango, he should come himself,” Yearling shouted after them, then began muttering to herself. “Hm, could have come up with a better one-liner there, I guess. Gotta work on that.” Nonetheless the trio doubled their pace, and soon they were out of sight.
Velvet's mind went a mile a minute, trying to digest the hurricane that had just blown past her. Her eyes fell on the package, lying on the floor with part of its wrapping now undone. It revealed a two-headed idol of blue gemstone. “The Sapphire Stone,” she said in awe. Putting all of the pieces together in her head, she stared at the novice writer. “The Tenochtitlan Basin, Ahuizotl, they're all real. Your manuscript, it's not fiction at all.”
Yearling gave her a weak smile. “Guess I'm busted. Please don't tell anypony. I used the pseudonym on purpose. You just saw the kind of dimwits I have to deal with, but even they could figure out my identity if I called the hero of my book Yearling.”
The unicorn nodded her agreement. “Of course, my lips are sealed.” Then she glanced at the manuscript. “So this is why it feels like it does. And here I thought you were just some novice writer who can't handle constructive criticism.”
“And I thought you were just some pencil pusher who doesn't know what it's like to take action, at least until you floored that minotaur.” Yearling also looked at her manuscript. “Truth be told, I'm not sure I can make the changes you want me to make. I'm just not cut out to write fiction. I make a lot of notes during my travels, but it's all fairly clinical.”
Velvet licked her lips. “Then how about a collaboration?”
Yearling raised an eyebrow. “Collaboration?”
“Yes. I've been writing all my life, and you're clearly more cut out for the adventures themselves. So when you finish a manuscript, you send it to me, and I punch it up a little. Just to make it a more enjoyable read, you know.”
The pegasus mare considered that. “Yeah, that doesn't seem like a bad idea. I don't really have the time to sit at home and give it all the bells and whistles myself.” She held out her hoof. “Alright, you got a deal, Adventure Kid.”
Velvet grimaced. “Adventure Kid?”
“Yeah, you can be like my writing sidekick. We'll both combine our names to create a new pen name. Adventure Kid – Yearling!”
“How about … A.K. Yearling?” Velvet suggested, shaking her hoof.
“Hey, that sounds even better!” Yearling gave her a big grin, then frowned. “You're still gonna change the title character's name, aren't you?”
“Absolutely,” Velvet deadpanned. “Miss Adventure just doesn't cut it.” She tapped her hoof against her chin, lost in thought. “Hm, it's gotta be something to match your personality, though. So daring in the face of danger, a mare with a can-do attitude, constantly drawn to the call of adventure, … I got it!”
* * *
Six months later, Twilight Velvet walked up the stairs in her Canterlot home, ready to put her daughter to bed. “Twilight?” she asked, looking into the little filly's room. But she wasn't there.
She heard a crash from the next room and hurried over to check it out. After the bout of fear for her daughter's safety settled, she put on a stern look. “Twilight Sparkle, what have I told you about going into mommy's study without permission?”
The little lavender filly looked at her guiltily, sitting amidst a pile of books she'd accidentally knocked down from the shelf. “Sorry, Mommy.” Then she held up one of them. “You always smile so much when you look at these things, so I wanted to know what they were.”
Her expression softened as she began to clean up with her magic, recognizing the one her daughter was holding as the one she'd just been sent by her publisher. “They're called books, Twilight. They're for reading.”
“Reading?” The filly stared at one of the pages, putting on a serious expression as she tried to make sense of the strange lines and symbols.
“Yes, the one you're holding was written by one of mommy's friends. Would you like me to read it to you?”
Twilight looked up at her and nodded fervently with a smile. “Yes, Mommy!”
Velvet chuckled. “Alright, but first things first. Good little fillies should be in bed by now.”
After placing her daughter and the book on her back with her magic, she carried them over to Twilight's room. After tucking her daughter into bed, she hovered over the hand-stitched Smarty Pants doll into her waiting hooves. There was no way Twilight would go to sleep without it.
“Comfy?” Velvet asked, bringing the blanket up to the filly's chin.
Twilight nodded.
Velvet cleared her throat as she opened the first page, settling in next to her daughter's bed. “Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue,” she began to read out aloud, “by A.K. Yearling.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Apple Bottoms · 2.9k words · 73 3 · 1k views
- Original Usermane · 1.8k words · 21 0 · 922 views
- Everyday · 3.1k words · 93 1 · 3.7k views
- Grey Faerie · 1.1k words · 31 1 · 1.1k views
- LightOfTriumph · 1.1k words · 98 1 · 1.3k views
- Zeck · 4.8k words · 73 3 · 1.8k views
- Techogre · 1.1k words · 68 5 · 2.4k views
- Bud Grazer · 2.9k words · 49 0 · 725 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.186 seconds
Total duration
1,096 users online
2,091,438 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A new Story from Ranko
and it's a Story for "Everyone" 
...well it makes Sense considering what you wrote it for
(Good Luck btw 
)
Ahh, friendship
Thank you for letting me proofread it, it was fun :)
I love this story. It even fits with my headcanon a little.
Great story, it needs to be longer, perhaps sequel chapters, though. :p
Gotta say, I like this explanation for the origins of Daring Do and A.K. Yearling, especially Velvet's involvement.
Also for how Twilight got into the series.
5752991
Well, the contest rules limit the story to 3,000 words.
Though I wouldn't be opposed to exploring what happened to Daring Do in between this point in her life (where she is clearly more trusting of others) and the older mare we've seen in Daring Don't. Maybe after the contest ends.
5752983
I, like many others, thought that Twilight Velvet was the author of the Daring Do books, as her description in the toys and the awards in the comics seemed to imply. This was my idea to make sense of that notion since the episode Daring Don't introduced A.K. Yearling and seemingly buried that idea. The best of both worlds, so to speak.
New head cannon accepted.
5753016 Same here on Twilight Velvet. Plus, it helps explain how Twilight was able to track down A. K. Yearling's residence.
5753234
Exactly. Also it explains why Twi is such a big fan of the series and how she knows so many factoids about Yearling (like where she studied literature) to begin with.
This will probably be the last story I read for a time, but I liked it. Made me smile and chuckle at some points. Good luck with everything else, Ranko
5753082
Ditto.
Also, faved and liked. Well done Ranko!
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/thumbs_up_waynes_world.gif
Taking another look at this again, I'd kind of like to see a sequel chapter where Velvet goes to talk to Yearling, and...
Velvet: Yearling...care to explain why my daughter is in your manuscript?
Yearling: Your daughter?
Velvet: The purple alicorn who showed up in chapter 7, accompanied by the rainbow maned pegasus who helped out so much in chapter 12.
Yearling: ...your daughter's a Princess?
Velvet: Indeed. Why is she in the story?
Yearling: She was there. She and her friends tracked me down to find out why the book was delayed.
Velvet: ...that's going to be an awkward conversation with the publishing company. They'll probably think I'm trying to insert my daughter into your story...
5754916 And why does your narration make note of her curves so often!
5755072
...what curves?
5755081 Velvet to Daring in regards to Twilight.
5755181
...Velvet said nothing about Twilight's curves. What are you talking about?
Oh hey, this is pretty cool. Like, really cool, even. The initial background info, the meeting, the disagreements, and then the action. There's a good deal of imagination in here, and it appears to be impervious to the cutting edge of the Canon Sword.
Take my approval.
Left this for you. Hope you like it
Sweet buttery Jesus, this was great. Which doesn't bode well for me since we're competing.
5781235
Honestly, there's so many great entries for this competition. If my story somehow gets an honorable mention, I'll call that a win.
5781258 No kidding. Best of luck.
5781267
Likewise.
I'm sure this is probably just me, but I feel that your cover picture does this story a disservice. It's a fabulous story, it really is. I LOVE how you were able to combine the show's and the comic's canon here by having the two mares become friends and collaborators.
The cover art though... again it might just be me, but I think there is (sadly) some truth to people judging a book by its cover. It honestly made me underestimate the story and had I not selected it myself out of the list of stories I don't believe I would have given it another glance. It has the two mains in it, but it tells me nothing of the story or the tone. It looks much more 'kawai sexy pony romp', really. It's just an observation, but I would just like to see your wonderful work get more attention and if there are other like-minded readers like me scrolling through they might form similar assumptions.
5813846
First of all, thanks for the compliment.
However, I must disagree with your observation that the cover says nothing about the story. I chose those two pieces, because they precisely emphasized the differences in attitude between the two characters, in facial expression, body language and overall look. Velvet is thinking while writing. Daring is charging ahead physically. Velvet's clothes are clean, Daring's show wear and tear from her adventures. That's why I chose those images. Had I found something that exemplifies the two characters better in my mind, I would have used that.
I know a lot of people in the fandom associate anthro with clop, which is a shame. Cause I think anthro characters are much more expressive. We, as humans, can relate to facial expressions and body language much more easily like that. And I don't think the art is overly sexualized, considering what other pony art this fandom has produced.
The description and the story tags make it clear what this story is about. So frankly, if anyone is deterred by the cover art, it's their loss. I don't see any reason to change it, just to replace it with some stock images of the two characters from the show or going with something less expressive in my opinion.
5813923
Upon closer inspection, I get where you're coming from, but I did have to open the image in a new tab to see those details more clearly. You don't have to change the cover if you don't want, I was just stating how it appeared to me. It's still a great story and I faved it. So you got me, at least.
5813945
So that makes the cover wonderfully appropriate in a meta sense, even though that wasn't the idea.
It's fine. I always appreciate an honest opinion. And you're not the first to comment on the cover art. I still chose to run with it, knowing that some people might get the wrong idea at first glance. Then again, mistaken first impressions also play a part in the story itself.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
5813960
First off, I loved the fic, not only because of the main friendship but also because it casually shows where Twilight gets her love of reading AND works in that award she got in the comic strip for Daring Doo.
I do agree with Ckat. I get where you are coming from but there are three minor issues with the image,
1) Giant Boobs, I saw those first because they are central to each image and large compared to everything else. This stands out in pony fiction as being related to clop because ponies and EQ don't have large boobs. This problem is enhanced by the the softness and shadowing of Twilight Velvet. It's not uncommon to see a fic try to use eye candy art to get some extra views and this is what I assumed when I first saw it.
2) Twilight Velvet's picture is very soft compared to Daring's. That's not to say it's a bad picture, but when it's small it makes it hard to distinguish which thing is a shadow and which is a body part at first glance. It also makes it hard to see her face or to tell that that's a quill.
3) Daring should be on the left or the image should be inverted. In cartooning they use leaning to distinguish when plot moves ahead or is referencing the past. It's very subtle but when used will it really helps. I could get into more detail but the short of it is that by having daring on the right angled to the left being second it breaks the flow of the image. Actually, if you kept them where they are and flipped Twilight Velvet's image it might work better because then they are facing each other, counterbalancing each other and making the image more of a question, thus also enticing potential readers more.
I should also point out that the fact that we're critiquing your cover art means we have very little to critique on your writing. In a way I was really surprised with how good this was because of the image. One of the keys to writing a good story is to fulfill and exceed all promises made to the reader. While the story exceeds the promises made it doesn't fulfill them. Thus, even after reading the fic it still feels wrong to me.
5830277
Well, here's how I see it.
1) They're not that big! Seriously, I don't think the art draws attention to the breasts exclusively. Especially in Daring's case, I'd say that other body parts are far more prominent, namely her athletic legs swinging over the wall and her flared wings. Physical strength is one of her main characteristics after all. In Velvet's case, I can see where you're coming from, but that's mainly due to the focus of the perspective resting on her upper body. I've already explained what I see in the pictures and why I think anthro images can relate more to a viewer, so I won't repeat myself. They both happen to have breasts. That's just the way it is.
2) I see your point, but there's nothing I can do about it. I didn't draw the picture, and FimFiction automatically resizes the cover art after it's uploaded.
3) Now that's an interesting point. I don't really know much about photo editing, or sequential art for that matter, so I'm limited by what I can do in MS Paint. But flipping Velvet to face right should be manageable. I even considered it, because having the characters face each other would probably be better. But I decided against it, because I didn't want to edit the pictures too much. I might play around with it a little to see if I can improve on that aspect.
But the bottom line is this: I'm not gonna replace the cover art for something else, simply because I haven't seen any piece of artwork (with or without breasts) that I think captures the differences in attitude between these two characters any better than these two do while still harmonizing with each other in art style to this degree. (And I don't think I've seen any single piece of artwork that actually shows the two characters together, period.)
Aww, that's nice of you to say.
And I'm glad you at least enjoyed the story itself.
I was with you until the end, since it combines the headcanon that Velvet writes Daring Do with the canon revealed in season 4. In my opinion your weak point is in Twilight's characterization, since she has an intelligent vocabulary, but apparently cannot read. Earlier you mentioned Cadence foalsitting her, which should probably mean that Twilight is already into reading. So I think you messed up a bit. Fix, and I could support this story in the contest. Also, I believe Smartpants is 'girl,' and Velvet would know this.
5850438
This is Twilight way younger than we've ever seen her in the show. In humans, most babies start to talk before they can properly walk, let alone read. We've never seen in the show at what age Cadence first foalsat for Twilight. (Although admittedly in the comic she can read as Cadence meets her presumably for the first time, which is a small continuity hiccup, I'll admit. But that's much further along in time than the scene I'm portraying here.) But the point of that last scene is that this is where Twilight first gets her love for reading. It makes her want to learn reading in the first place.
5851623 If the scene is so much earlier, don't you think you ought to at least downgrade Twilight's lexicon to make her sound more believably like a child (in my case, Dawn not only has a reduced vocabulary, and even stumbles over the occasional word, she also has a different mannerism compared to how she is as a grown mare)? Or am I the only one with this hang-up? That may well be the case.
From my observations, mothers can be extremely empathetic toward their children, and think of objects in the same terms they do. If you do not believe Velvet does this, that is fine too, and your right as the author to write her your own way.
5852216
Well, most of Twilight's dialogue consists of only one or two words at a time. That's perfectly in line with a small child. I suppose the only line that really stands out is this one: “You always smile so much when you look at these things, so I wanted to know what they were.” Which is a little more sophisticated than what you might expect from a pre-schooler based on sentence structure alone, I'll admit. Then again, Twilight's a smart filly, and the vocabulary is still fairly basic.
She may. She may not. The main thing in my eyes is still that we're dealing with third-person narration here, not Velvet's immediate words or thoughts. As such, I feel that a genderless pronoun is more appropriate here.
Official EFNW Pre-Con Contest final round review
To begin with, congratulations for making it this far. It means you're at least in the top 10%.
I found this story pretty enjoyable, and it was fun seeing Velvet gradually understand what was going on. The last scene struck me as a bit odd, and a complete departure from the rest of the story as well as the contest theme... but whatever. It does at least put an epilogue-ish ending note on the thing, and the rest is quite good. Things seemed to go a bit fast, but I suppose that's to be expected, given the word count restriction. The idea itself was unique and enjoyable; a great idea having those two meet each other. All that said, I didn't quite see anything in it to bump it to the top of my list, even though it's enjoyable enough to stay well away from the bottom. Thankfully, in this round of judging, that still helps.
5874721
Thanks. 
Wow, top 10%
And thanks for the comment. As for the epilogue, I can see where you're coming from. There are two things that connect to the theme and the rest of the story. A) The name drop of Daring Do and the implication that Yearling has accepted Velvet's help in polishing her books by the author name given as A.K. Yearling and B) Velvet calling Yearling a friend. Neither of those probably really needed the reiteration, though, as it was clear enough in the story itself.
The rest of it is probably a little self-indulgent on my part, because in my head-canon this is what initially gives Twilight her love for reading, so I just wanted to put her in there. Also, filly Twilight is adorable.
Hi there, I'm reviewing this story as a candidate for the Everfree Northwest writing contest community choice award.
Others have commented on the cover image and the unnecessary ending scene, but I absolutely loved this story. It was smooth, it had a great bit of character reveal, and even ties the show and comic canon together nicely. You hit on some very believable characterization for two characters who have had very little screen time and it was great fun to see their interaction. The idea of Daring Do being a great adventurer AND a compelling storyteller never sat right with me and this story finally settles it for me. I guess I've got me a new head-canon.
I'll be adding it to my list of nominees for the award! Good luck!
5877783
Thank you.
5878194
Aaaaand it just got Second Place
5781258 Kudos on the second place! I knew you'd do well, but this was a pleasant surprise.
5907368
5907337
Thanks.
This was really neat. I like how you've teamed these two together—it's a cool way of tying together the main two Daring Do author theories together. Clever, and congrats on second place!
5910147
Thank you.
I love stories that involve Twilight's mother. This story was exceptionally cute.
5753241 This, this is good, more please?
This is really good. I like the fact that Twilight Velvet knows the truth about the Daring Do books and I bet that Twilight Sparkle asked her mom for advice when they went to Daring's cottage.
Headcanon accepted!
You can has review!
5753016
Aaaaahh, thats an interesting story idea to do.
Very clearly shown in this story that young Daring Do was more trusting of others. Twilight Velvet and Daring Do through the years went on many adventures together, but then one day they had a fall out in their friendship and never saw each other again. Which made Daring Do become least trusting of others and wanting to work alone.
But then the main story, Twilight Velvet and Daring Do meeting each other again and rebuilding their lost friendship.
(There was a really interesting and fun Twilight Velvet Daring Do story, but irs unfortuntely dead😞. I hate when good stories just stop)