Read It Later Reviews #16 – Toot Your Own Horn, Half-Hour Horses, This Mirror Left Blank, Wrong Number, Daring Do and the Rookie Editor · 10:42pm Apr 5th, 2015
Another day, another set of short stories reviewed when I was too tired to write after constructing my season 5 bingo sheet.
The stories I read today:
Toot Your Own Horn by Hoopy McGee
Half-Hour Horses by HoofAndQuill
- Nope
This Mirror Left Blank by Norm De Plume
Wrong Number by Harmony Charmer
Daring Do and the Rookie Editor by by Naughty_Ranko
Toot Your Own Horn
by Hoopy McGee
Comedy, RandomTwilight's got a pretty good life going in Ponyville. Her days are full of friendship, studying, and the studying of friendship. On top of that, she's a princess in a fancy crystal castle in Ponyville. Her life is as close to perfect as she can imagine it...
Except for that weird noise that has suddenly started keeping her up at night.
Why I added it: Hoopy McGee is a good writer.
Review
This is a silly little story about Twilight’s horn going from itching to making funny noises at night, and Twilight learning the deep, mystical secrets of being an alicorn and how they get their beautiful manes.
I wasn’t overly fond of this story on my first reading of it; for some reason, it didn’t really tickle my fancy. And yet, I reread it a few months later, and for some reason it was funnier to me. Maybe the jokes just tickled my fancy a bit more the second time around; maybe I just acquired a slightly greater taste for the absurd. It has the touch of the absurd juxtaposed with Twilight’s more serious thoughts and concerns about her conditions, but I think what really ended up selling me on it was the ending (or, should I say, endings, as there are multiple alternative endings for the story) which made me chuckle.
Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and one-time bearer of the Element of Magic, sighed in quiet satisfaction as she closed the large, musty-smelling book she’d just finished reading. The tome was a treatise on hypothetical subthaumic particles and the proposed properties thereof. The author was proposing that these particles were responsible for the semi-random effects that sometimes cropped up when a mage cast the same spell multiple times and received vaguely different results.
It was utter nonsense, of course. Minor variations in casting procedure or the environment were more likely to cause those effects without having to invent an entirely new set of highly speculative hypothetical particles to explain things. Still, it had been an interesting read, particularly the proposed “aether foam” that the writer had gone on about at considerable length, and which, supposedly, attributed for the ten-to-twelve percent energy loss of spells cast without an inscribed spell circle.
Twilight’s mind was racing and her quill sped along the paper in order to keep up. She quickly detailed several experiments that, if they failed, would lend some weight towards disproving the various hypotheses detailed in the book. She stopped mid-sentence as a thought struck her: most of her equipment was still in bits and pieces, buried under the remains of the old library. She had ordered replacements, but these things take time. And, even though her monthly stipend had been increased considerably now that she was an actual Princess of Equestria—a fact that still managed to take her by surprise—she currently only had enough to pay for less than half of the equipment she'd lost.
Thoughts of visiting Tartarus with the sole purpose of repeatedly poking Tirek with an extremely pointy stick floated through her mind for a brief but very satisfying moment.
Recommendation: Recommended.
Half-Hour Horses
by HoofAndQuill
Short Story CollectionThis story is a collection of unrelated short stories written for the Thirty Minute Ponies tumblr.
None of the chapters directly relate to the others, they're all independent stories based on daily prompts. I'm just posting them all here for fun and for critique/comments. Keep in mind that these are all written in half an hour or so, so they're short and a bit first-draft-y, and rather uneven quality-wise.
Why I added it: PresentPerfect recommended Nope.
Review
Nope – [Slice of Life]
Scootaloo asks out Big Mac. Big Mac says nope.
This is not as abrupt as that description sounds; clocking in just north of a thousand words, this actually has some meat to it, as Big Mac tries to guide Scootaloo through the rejection via monosyllabic answers. It is actually a fairly cute idea, but as Present Perfect noted in his review, the ending of it feels pretty rushed, as Scootaloo seems to make some pretty big leaps at the end – a concession to the time constraints, I suppose. And I would have liked to see a bit more of a rationale for why Scootaloo was doing it in the first place – she does sort of explain herself, but it doesn’t really feel like it got all the way to where the explanation wanted to go.
There were some cute lines in this, though, and it is a cute idea. If reading a thousand words about Scootaloo getting rejected by Big Mac sounds cute to you, you might enjoy this.
That was when the little orange filly popped her head over the top of the stack of hay bales nearby and asked "Hey, Big Mac! Doing anything special for Hearts and Hooves Day?"
His answer came quickly, instinctively, around the sprig of wheat he often kept in his lips. "Nope."
Though really, there was no reason to lie about it. He didn't have plans, though last year he'd lost a ton of time and potential work to his sister and her friends' meddling and setting him up with Cheerilee. While Cheerilee was an attractive mare: kind, intelligent, and all in all a good match, they just didn't click that way. Plus the color of her coat was too similar to his mother's. But maybe they'd set him up with somepony he hadn't considered this time.
Instead of just ducking back behind the bale like last time, though, Scootaloo grinned and hopped down on the side Big Macintosh was on. "Really? Then, uh..."
Big Macintosh couldn't quite look away as Scootaloo took a few steps toward him. She kept her front end low, and looked up at him with what he supposed was a look she'd seen full grown mares make. The filly sauntered toward him in that awkward, entirely unattractive way that only children imitating adults can pull off. Big Macintosh switched the sprig of wheat to the other side of his mouth.
Scootaloo finished walking toward Big Macintosh, and then opened her eyes a bit wider, realizing she didn't quite have the next part planned out. "Uh, then maybe... you know... we could. Go out somewhere."
He had to break it to her softly, he didn't want to break some poor filly's- "Nope."
Recommendation:
Nope: Worth Reading
This Mirror Left Blank
by Norm De Plume
Slice of Life, Alternate UniverseEvery alicorn has a mirror, meant to hold her if she ever turns upon Equestria in rage and bitterness. She will be safe inside, comforted by the familiar.
Twilight has come to Canterlot to update her own personal prison. While she's there, an old friend wishes to meet her for the very first time.
Why I added it: The description caught my eye while browsing the Everfree Northwest’s stories.
Review
As noted by the description of the story, every alicorn in Equestria has a mirror containing an imaginary world that they can retreat into, where they are safe and secure and at peace at home. A bit of a lotus eater trap, they’re intended to act as prisons for alicorns who would otherwise have to be dealt with via more extreme measures, such as banishment to the Moon.
Sunset Shimmer is one such alicorn, trapped in her mirror world, which contains both a fake Equestria AND the world of Equestria Girls. The real Twilight has never met Sunset Shimmer, but she did help contribute to Sunset Shimmer’s imaginary world with a fake duplicate of herself, who has been gradually reforming her. And now, Sunset Shimmer is ready to step out of the mirror and meet the real Twilight for the very first time.
As you might imagine from that description, the story is a little bit mentally unwieldy – you’ve got multiple layers of worlds, and a “real world” where Twilight has never actually interacted with Sunset Shimmer, at least not directly. Sunset herself is kind of damaged in a way, and the story seems to imply that there is more than one failed alicorn in the mirrors lying around Canterlot Castle, and that they’re even worse off than Sunset Shimmer is.
An interesting idea for a story, I think I liked the (somewhat morbid) idea more than I liked the actual story; the writing of it was fine, but the idea was so big it left little space for anything else in the small, 3000 word space provided by the contest it is an entry for.
I stood in the memory of my library and couldn't decide where not to look first.
The books I hadn't checked back in yet. The shawl Rarity had made for me during one of Ponyville's coldest winters. My beloved books, those closest and dearest gifts from friends and family, would be on their shelves upstairs. I could fetch my telescope and it would be as pristine as the day I had purchased it.
I just wouldn't be able to take it home with me.
“I'm sorry about this,” said Princess Celestia. She had stayed by the front door, with her wings folded and her head lowered. “But you must understand why I asked you to come.”
I nodded. Of course I understood. This had been my home, after all. But when I was in a fit of madness at all Equestria, would I be sure that this place no longer existed? Would I react badly to seeing something that I had grown to live without? I needed to be safe here and not hurt anypony who would come in after me.
Recommendation: This story is all about the concept of it; you might enjoy it if you like the concept, but there isn’t anything else there. It isn’t bad, but I can’t really recommend it, either.
Wrong Number
by Harmony Charmer
Random, Slice of Life, HumanWhen Sonata ends up getting a message from a wrong number on her phone, she decides this to be an opportunity to make friends.
Why I added it: Its description caught my eye while browsing through the Everfree Northwest contest entries.
Review
Sonata gets a message from a wrong number, someone who is going to Sugarcube Corner for an interview. Rather than simply brush them off, Sonata instead gets into a conversation with them, and eventually meets up with them after school.
A fairly simple story, honestly it really didn’t have anything to do with the ponyverse at all – it could have easily been two original characters having the conversation, with some minor alterations. That isn’t a bad thing, but it isn’t necessarily a good thing, either, as it meant that I had very little investment in the characters in question, and I never really invested in them.
Sonata didn't like chemistry class. She had learned that back when she started school a couple weeks ago, and there hadn't been anything to change her opinion on the matter. Especially chemical formulas. She wasn't a big fan of those, either.
"Sonata, take that pencil off of your lips," Aria hissed from behind her, pointing at the pencil that Sonata had balanced on her pouted lips.
Sonata frowned, her change in expression causing the pen to fall. "But I'm so boooored." She laid her chin on her folded arms. "I kinda wanna take a nap."
"Welcome to the club," Aria replied, and Sonata could tell she was rolling her eyes. Sonata glanced back to see Aria jerk her thumb to the right. "But, you know what happens to people who sleep in class."
Sonata looked to where Aria was gesturing and she saw Rainbow Dash sleeping on her desk, her mouth agape as she snored lightly. Drool pooled around her mouth, coupled with a small snot bubble growing and receding in size with every breath she took. Bits of paper balls were strewn around her, some in her hair, some in her clothes, and others on her face. Sonata watched with fascination as people tossed bits of paper towards her, snickering silently as they grew dangerously close to rousing Dash from her nap.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Daring Do & The Rookie Editor
by Naughty_Ranko
Comedy, AdventureTwilight Velvet, acclaimed author and proud mother of two, has been given a new task by her publisher. But her first assignment as editor for a fresh, young writer may prove to be more than she bargained for, as it turns out the submission isn't as fictional as she thought.
A chance encounter that will lead to the team-up of two dream authors, the creation of the most beloved adventure series in Equestrian literature and the beginning of a life-long friendship.
Why I added it: Cerulean Voice recommended it.
Review
Twilight Velvet goes to talk to Daring Do – AKA A. K. Yearling – about her new manuscript. Twilight Velvet used to be a writer, but ever since she popped out her kids, she decided that wasn’t the life for her anymore and now she has turned to being an editor so that she can keep more regular hours.
Naturally, when she meets Miss Yearling, she discovers that the books are less than fictional when the goons from Miss Yearling’s story attack.
There is nothing really wrong with this story, and yet, it still never really grabbed me. The story is straightforward enough, and the thoughts and motives of the two characters come through pretty clearly, but I just never really connected with the action in the piece. It all felt like it was flowing down pretty much exactly the channels I was expecting it to from pretty much when the two characters first start talking, and it never really deviated from the expected course. Consequently, there wasn’t anything which went above and beyond that really made it memorable.
Twilight Velvet walked along what she assumed was a path through the woods. It was hard to tell, really, since it didn't seem like a lot of ponies traversed this area. All she could see was … well, that was just it. She'd never even seen plants like that. They seemed like they should be more at home in a jungle, rather than the moderate climate of Central Equestria she was used to. At least they didn't seem to be hiding any predators, except for the snakes that is. She'd almost been bitten three times already this morning.
Quietly she wondered how she'd gotten stuck with this assignment as she rechecked the map to make out her position on the winding path. She'd told her publisher that she'd wanted to take a break from writing. Since the birth of her second foal, she'd become increasingly busy with being a mother. Staying up late into the night, a cup of cold coffee on her desk, it simply wasn't a good way to raise children.
As a result, she'd brought the story of her popular title character in a book series to a satisfying conclusion and declared it finished. Both the fans and her publisher had been disappointed but accepting of her decision.
Unwilling to let one of their star authors go completely, the publishing company had made her an offer. She was to take on the role of editor for fledgling writers, which meant more regular hours while still bringing home some bits to support her family.
Recommendation: Not Recommended
Summary
Toot Your Own Horn by Hoopy McGee
Worth Reading
Half-Hour Horses by HoofAndQuill
- Nope: Worth Reading
This Mirror Left Blank by Norm De Plume
Not Recommended
Wrong Number by Harmony Charmer
Not Recommended
Daring Do and the Rookie Editor by by Naughty_Ranko
Not Recommended
Toot Your Own Horn is a very reasonable read if you haven’t ever read it, while the Everfree Northwest Con stories ended up being something of a bust; none of them were awful, but none of them really excited me, either. This Mirror Left Blank was the best of the ones I read, but while the concept was certainly there, I just wasn't that excited by the actual story.
Number of stories still listed as "Read It Later - Important": 65
Number of stories still listed as "Read It Later - Recommended": 227
Number of stories listed as “Read It Later”: 1554
Judging by the cover, that Daring Do story looks like a clopfic...
2950331
It isn't.
At all.
Nor is it anthro.
Honestly, I have no idea where that cover art came from.
I agree completely that the concept for the Mirror is just too big to be contained in three thousand words. It will probably get a more worthy look once EFNW is over.
Frankly, this was a case of 'give them something completely different' for the contest. I wasn't content to have a tea party or do something snuggly. It's one of my failings that I often ignore small ideas in favour of stranger ones, but I also hope the concept will trigger other, greater ideas in others.
2950566
Makes sense. I think it worked reasonably well relative to a lot of the other, fluffier entries (I suppose I should probably cast a ballot for it, I just need to remember which story number it was).
How in the actual hell did you find Nope? User searching for "hoof and quill" gets you jack!
2950662
I guessed that their user name didn't have any spaces in it.
2950604
Entry 67, I believe. And thanks for taking the time to say a few words.