"Ugh.." I groaned, regaining my consciousness, "Wha? I'm not dead?" I wondered, my mind struggling to understand what was going on through the fog in my brain. Attempting to rub at my head produced a rattling noise, to which I looked over and noticed that my hands were currently shackled to a wall. "What happened? How long have I been out?"
The last thing I remember was a steel covered hoof colliding with my head..
"Hey, Prisoner!" A pony in light blue plate armor called through the bars of what must be my cell, "Shut up, nopony wants to hear your bitching."
"Good morning!" Another pony, this one in a darker blue plate armor, called cheerfully. He doesn't exactly sound all there.. "How was your nap?"
"Caboose, I swear to Nightmare, I will stab you if you don't shut up!" a pony wearing a light blue plate armor said angrily, looking over at his 'partner'.
"Don't worry, Church is really nice. He's just grumpy." 'Caboose' said. "Someone, and, um.. I'm not naming names~..." The pony looked back and forth slightly, "But someone may have maybe accidentally stabbed him during training."
"Yeah! It was you, you buck!" 'Church' exclaimed angrily.
"Tucker did it!" The darker blue clad pony exclaimed.
"Hey, what the hay man?!" A voice called as a turquoise-green plate-armor clad pony stuck their head into view. "Caboose, you can't just blame me for everything!"
You've got to be shitting me.
No. No. No bucking way.
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"Gah!" I woke up with a start, my arms pulling at the manacles attaching them to the walls. Looking around frantically, I didn't see any signs of the ponies. "Phew, just a dream.." I said with some relief. "I really thought there were Red vs. Blue ponies for a bit there..."
"Red vs. Blue?" A familiar voice questioned. Looking up, I saw Nightmare giving me a curious look through the bars of my cell. " Pray tell, what exactly would that be?"
I shrugged, rattling the chains a bit. "Just something from my culture. Absolutely love it, but the real thing would probably drive me nuts."
"I see..." The dark Alicorn eyed me for a moment, contemplating something. "What exactly are thou?"
I rolled my eyes, "This again? Why should I answer you?"
I immediately regretted those words as Nightmare's horn flashed and a searing pain lanced through my entire body, tearing a pained scream from my throat and leaving me panting in exhaustion after what felt like ages.
"It would be wise not to test me creature." The tyrant declared, "For I could very easily make this dreamspace into your worst nightmare, and force thee to endure it time and time again." She looked smug, "I need not actually harm you to break you. So what say thee creature? Will you cooperate?"
I glared at her, "Pick a speech pattern dammit!" I exclaimed, "Either speak modern english or ye olde english, that switching back and forth crap is going to get on my nerves real fast."
"Insolent fool!" Nightmare thundered, causing me another bout of pain. Her gaze softened slightly, a small smirk finding its way onto her muzzle. "I shall leave thee for now. Perhaps thou will be in a more agreeable mood after a bit of isolation." She began to walk away, her hoofsteps echoing on the stone floor. Shortly after, I could hear the sound of a door slamming and then locking.
Perfect. I chuckled slightly as I phased my arms out of the chains, "I can't believe she forgot about that." I got up, stretching slightly and taking a moment to get reacquainted with my original center of gravity. "I really kind of ditched my original body pretty quickly now that I think about it..." I shrugged, "Oh well, is what it is."
Walking through the bars, I - "OW, MOTHERBUCKER!" Crashed right into the bars and nearly broke my nose. "HOLY @#!#@! SON OF A $%# WITH A SIDE OF #@% AND $#%$#%$#% $#%#$ %$#% $#%#$%$#%$#!!" It really didn't hurt all that bad, just surprised and annoyed the heck out of me. That pain thing Nightmare did? That hurt.
"Well crap, I guess she didn't forget after all.." I examined the bars on my cell, attempting to bend them. "Hrrg! HRERGEGREGJRGBURGER! Random exclamations of effort!" Huh, this isolation must be getting to me faster than I thought. It's just so quiet in here..
"Well, this thing isn't bending any time soon..." I looked at the lock, "Maybe if I.." I sprouted a crystal from my palm and inserted it into the lock, willing it to grow into the available space. After a moment or two, I tried turning the crystal and.. "Eureka! Freedom!" I stepped out of my cell, breathing the same stale, non-fresh, not-outdoors air. "Well, sort of."
Walking in the direction the nightmare had gone, I faced my final obstacle... A large wooden door, edged with some sort of metal and runes. "Alright door, it's you or me." I said, "Only one of us is making it through this, and it's gonna be mei- I mean ME." Attempting the same crystal trick, I... Absolutely failed.
"Well... Shit." I said, looking at the broken crystal in my hand. "Uh.." I scratched my head slightly. "How about.." I faded into mist and attempted to slide under the crack in the door, before being repelled by an invisible force. "Ow!" And also being forced back into human form to crash face-first into the unforgiving ground.
"Fine, plan D then!" I closed my eyes and concentrated on the door, imagining the key to the door and then... I imagined myself stealing the key. A weight settled into my hand and I looked down to see the key. "Hell yeah!" I exclaimed, moving to put the key in the... oh..
"SHITAKI MUSHROOMS!" I swore, looking at the crystal filled lock. "Okay, maybe...-Crap!" There were hoofsteps coming back down the hall! I made a mad dash back to my cell, swinging the door closed and phasing back into my manacles.
Nightmare Moon strolled back into the room like she owned the place (Though, to be fair, she kinda did.). She raised a brow as she entered, probably noticing my cell door swinging slightly ajar and my completely innocent whistling. "Creature, thou will find escape from mine prison to be impossible." She said, sounding more amused than anything else. "If thee wishes to leave, 'tis simply a matter of asking."
"So... Can I leave?" I asked hopefully - Maybe she isn't so bad after all.
"Of course!" The dark mare nodded, "Simply swear fealty to me, and you shall be free to explore mine palace."
"Wait..." I raised a brow, "Is that a euphemism? 'Cause I already have a girlfriend... Even if she probably thinks I'm dead or something."
The dreaded Alicorn of the Night, the Mistress of Shadows, the Moon Tyrant... Blushed. "Perverted Fiend!" She boomed.
"Wait a minute, who's the fiend here?" I wondered, "Because I'm pretty sure you're the one who's got me tied up in your freaky little dungeon."
"Tis not a 'freaky' dungeon." The Nightmare insisted.
"Sure~ it's not.." I said sarcastically.
"It is NO- wait, why am I arguing with you?" She shook her head, "You will not distract me with your mind games creature."
"Games? I love games, how about a rousing game of Monopoly? You can be the car!" I said happily, enjoying the sudden control I had over the conversation.
The Nightmare shook her head, "I've attempted to gain your allegiance through persuasion, but I grow tired of this." She charged up some sort of spell with her horn, "Good bye Creature, thou shalt share in Mine sister's fate."
Quick question how should I write a character with the formlessness ability
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Formlessness? As in.. what? Shapeshifting? Intangibility? The ability to become a formless Wraith?
Kinda need a little more to go on before I go giving out advice.
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http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Formlessness?useskin=oasis
That.
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Well you could portray them as a formless mass, barely keeping itself together as they/it attempts to learn how it works, slowly learning to properly control its form.
Or perhaps something that starts with a form, but loses control every so often and has to force themselves back into their chosen form until such a time that they have proper enough control to prevent such lapses
You could use it as either a basis, a convenience, or a curse depending on how you look at it. Most things are a matter of Perspective really.
A good reference to look at, in terms of starting as a formless entity and perhaps a little insight behind being formless or having to hold/create a form, would be RockstarRaccoon's Displaced into Nothing Story. That's probably one of the best stories I've read in a few ways - the story is well written, the content is spot on, the science, occult, logic and psychology of it is amazing, interesting, and explained well without detracting from the story (in fact, it really adds perfectly to the story), and I really like the humor and insights. Pretty much everything on there is either accurate or mostly accurate to my knowledge (I don't claim to be an expert in any of those matters, but I've done a bit of self study into a bit of everything. Funny how I can't really understand physics at times, but Quantum Physics likes to make perfect sense. )
Definitely the best I've read (to my recollection) about being or becoming a formless entity (even if they don't stay completely formless. I can definitely understand the need to create a physical shell to both act as an anchor point to make sure your existence isn't washed away with the aether, and to be more agreeable to the locals. A+++ in all regards, if I were somepony whose grading mattered. )
Anyways, sorry about that little, uh.. Ramblings.
Hope that helped you a bit. Feel free to PM me so we're not making the comments section on this over-inflated if you want to talk more about the subject(s).
Great work can't wait for more
I'm expecting the first line of the next chapter to be,
"Oh cool, I've always wanted to go to the moon!"
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...I don't know if I can use that now..
Jk, maybe and maybe not
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Right before he gets sent he should say "you got a problem? Send it TO THE MOON!!!" Or something like that
I was so happy to see this hilarious story update. I anxiously await the next chapter.
Hmmmmm........I do so wonder what happens next...........
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It’s an honest question what’s wrong with it I just want to know his limits
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Its probably not that OP, but it would be hilarious if it was.
I don't think that Silver has anything against the question, just that a few of us were pointing out how potentially powerful it can be.
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Pretty much every power can be used in an OP way
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I'd like to pretend that he's limited to some basic constraints - Such as only hiding behind objects and creatures able to be seen by the naked eye, and not anything of a ridiculous size difference (like a mouse). Though he doesn't really use it much with everything else he has (The shapeshifting, intangibility, and invisibility kind of nullify any need for that, lol). I ended up with a lot of pretty OP abilities, and I try to keep it to a reasonable level; often by making him just do ridiculous stuff and joking around a lot, or forgetting he can do something. Or, like with Nightmare moon, creating a point or event where his powers fail to help him in some way or another.
Is the story still updating cause some of us want another chapter
Discontinued...?
Update?
Please
Loved the story, and as soon as I was hooked, found the cliffhanger. OOF. Still hoping you update this soon. I love power lottery stories.
Yay! You are actually doing something that challenges him!
(Though really, I think it would have been better if you just made him keep his original powers, and not added the others.)
I just rolled the Power Lottery, just for fun.
I got Fairytale Warping (basically, makes the universe around you behave according to narrative causality, except you are exempt. And so break the fourth wall. If you are aware that it is in fact your power, then you can change what sort of story you are in.) Soul Destruction, and.... Sneeze Inducement.
Just thinking of making a fanfic like that is making me laugh.
I mean, MLP already pretty much conforms to narrative causality. So they can break the fourth wall, destroy souls, and make others sneeze.