• Member Since 6th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen January 5th

Remedyfortheheart


My name is Remedy. Call me Remi. I've recently come into the fandom and have always had a secret passion and natural knack for writing and reading. So now with that said I'm setting it to the test.

T

Butterscoth-"Who's my girl?"

Eris-"Shut up!"

Butterscotch-"Come on! Who's my pretty girl?"

Eris-"I'm not one of your puppies!"

Butterscotch-"Who's my special girl?"

Eris-"Grrrr!...I am."

Butterscotch-"Yes you are! Oh yes you are!"

It's times like these when Eris finds herself at a drawbridge. Unable to think clearly with the kindness of another being flowing through her throughts. The being of chaos, the entity of everything disarranged, the goddess of topsy-turvy. A once truly feared being that was capable of amazing feats. Being able to topple over two Alicorn princesses, turn a whole land into a crazed carnival, and chocolate rain! Facts placed aside though. Eris was changing. And all thanks to the love of one pony. Now if only she was able to return her feelings. If she was just born as a more sensible girl. With normal powers or just a plain pony. Why did it have to be so difficult? To just show her love for Butterscotch.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 77 )

Good story, but I'm not sure why this is rated Mature. I didn't notice anything that would warrant it.

It is very distracting that all the dialogue is in italics.

5723374 it'll contain sexually content next chapter.

You get a like just for this
Butterscoth-"Who's my girl?"

Eris-"Shut up!"

Butterscotch-"Come on! Who's my pretty girl?"

Eris-"I'm not one of your puppies!"

Butterscotch-"Who's my special girl?"

Eris-"Grrrr!...I am." :rainbowlaugh:

5723490 Characters, letters, and colors shouldn't stop most from reading. In fact I love seeing some coding in stories it shows more effort. My biggest pet peeve is a predictable plot. That's another thing altogether, but i don't let that stop a good read.
5723374 sexual content coming in next chapter.

5723526 I would recommend changing the story to Incomplete then.

5723526

What alarajrogers meant was that reading speech in italics sort of changes the tone you read it in. I personally found myself reading it as though they were communicating in thought, which, was quite distracting. Italics are also a nice way of emphasising words if you want to use them, but just having all speech in them gets a tad disorienting.

5724648 Actually there's multiple ways to emphasis. The most common one in Fimfiction being italics. While myself and some other's use "( )" As to not get it mixed in with the details of the story. Even the most creative way to explain a thought is by describing a scenario about the thought. That way the crowd can relate with the main idea and feeling of said thought. I use mine to emphasis character speech. Most authors don't point out character interaction. Not to say it's bad not to. But I do so to make the reader know about certain conversations. This helps when there are multiple characters in a story. A good example is how I use it to differentiate from males and females in my other story. "The Colt Inside." Which has gotten great feedback. Created to a nice smooth read.

Interesting! I think im gonna read this tomorrow.

I don't think i ever seen a sex scene with Butterscotch and Eris on this site. It will be interesting...

all I can say is "yes, all of the yes"

Well. Thets really good start. Lets see whats happen next.

Comment posted by The Judge deleted Mar 13th, 2015

5726881 I can definitely agree with you there! :eeyup:

5729278 I can't wait either, also, is your profile picture Chuck Norris pony?

Ooohh! SQUEE! I can't wait for more!! This is really good!!:heart:

WEN IS NEXT CHAPTER PLZ I NEED ITS BADLI

5886572 working in it now. Its coming out soon.

5889207 :yay: "yay" end quote. imagine this is Butterscotch

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:pinkiesad2: why would you leave out the sex whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

5897933 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/261571/chaos-is-sexy Because I thought doing them in humans or anthro would be a lot more fun to read and write about. Don't you think?

Since you dropped the sex tag, is there any particular reason it needs to keep the mature rating?

5898496 1. you have a point
2. what is that link supposed to go to
3.you're right

5898570 I plan on implementing certain jokes and things into it. I'm keeping it.

5898691 A new spinoff story. to show off the cover art for it. which features a very sexy Eris.

5899712 I am still confused the E rating is throwing me off unless you're going to change that # *silently prying that you do*

not a bad chapter, but I really can't wait 'til the next one! it's just an amazing story that someone I know will have to do a Youtube reading of.

Really found Eris' daydream at the end to be cute and hilarious.

This is really good, but I found a few errors:

"Seeing how different Butterscotch was acting towardsher. "
Forgot a space there :twilightblush:

" Eris gave a smile to butterscotch as she stood at the entrance. "

"I. Love you." butterscotch said. Turning his face away from her"

"...love you." butterscotch could feel his lips confused on whether to smile or cringe at the moment."

"Going off like a fire alarm telling her the shameful act she had been caught doing, or what butterscotch assumed was happening, was completely wrong to do within the confines of his household. "

"There ya go!" butterscotch said with glee as he hovered up a bit higher to get his hoof in place. "

I think you forgot to capitalize 'Butterscotch' a few times :twilightsheepish:
Other than that, keep up the good work!

5997340 Thank you. you didn't drag the errors to where it made me feel bad about my work. It was simple and dowright helpful to where only the errors mattered. Had to delete a couple comments before that seemed to streak on and on for paragraphs on one error alone. I'll fix those and start work on my next writing. Please enjoy my other works during your wait.

6000467 You're welcome! When I point out errors to people, my biggest fear is that it will offend them, but I'm glad you thought it was helpful :raritywink:

6000748 Just that thought alone makes you fit to be a proofreader and an excellent writer alone. Trust me. I can tell after ten years of writing. Now With my comeback. I'd like to know which story you would like me to continue. Mind telling me so I can work on it? It's been awefully busy with my new job and a typhoon knocking out my net and power.

6000882 I really do like this story, and I'd really appreciate it if you continued this one :twilightsmile:

I dunno why, but it seems a lot more entertaining seeing a female Discord getting emotionally awkward.

6021334 I believe that the fandom portrays Eris as an easily more "bondable" character than her original form of Discord. We're also finding that Discord does have feelings. The most entertaining parts may be the rare moments when Discord/Eris do have emotional struggles. I know I enjoyed the Discord episodes.

6023267 "More bondable"? in what way? I think Discord has it easier, given the cast majority is female, although only a hand-full of pairings seem possible. I haven't seen anything close to Raicord or Lucord anywhere, and someone just recently made a Raricord fic on the site.

:pinkiesad2:So cute,but yet so sad.

6031943 whoever did that need a good spanking

You dont mix marshmallow with sweet chaos

Its good to hear from ya. Thank you for the chapter, it was very emotional.

not the direction i thought it was going in but i like it

So much drama. I hope Eris and Scotch reconcile.

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Much appreciated guys. Life has been hectic and for some reason I can't seem to write anything dirty right now. So good news. I'm more focused on this series right now. :scootangel: Bad news. I still have the bad habit of publishing things without looking them over after like a day or two. :fluttershyouch:

6241086 need help writing something dirty my specialty i havnt showord in days

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