*looks to the recondmended stories list* Why in the bloody Celestia is my fic reconmended in the similar story list? My story is christmas related, not a romantic comedy!
Um....anyway.
I look at theseheat stories and think to myself "I wonder if I should do them for the show as an actual episode or something silly" because I love them so much.
If I had any critiques it would be that some of the early exposition felt a tad too much and that near the end Trixie's manner of speech felt oddly... I'm not sure what exactly, somehow slightly off in some places, too prompt or proper maybe? Sorry.
But those are both minor quibbles, overall I thought the opening chapter was great, very enjoyable, smooth pacing and Raindrops dipping into fantasy and freaking out was hilarious and sympathetic. Trixie's characterization came across well and I especially liked her attempt to support Raindrops when she saw she was worried, somehow hearing Raindrops Amore, sounded great. Plus Raindrop's "just fine with that' attitude was well articulated and left both characters feeling fitting and identifiable.
Long ago, a prophecy came to me. A wise one said that a certain event such as this one might occur. It seems that he was correct. All I can say is... YEAH, BABY, YEAH!
5651157 As well it should, as its one of RDD's most hilariously good works. I only hope to do it some manner of justice with this humble attempt at a sequel.
If I had any critiques it would be that some of the early exposition felt a tad too much and that near the end Trixie's manner of speech felt oddly... I'm not sure what exactly, somehow slightly off in some places, too prompt or proper maybe? Sorry.
No need to apologize at all, I appreciate the critique. I think what happened here was that I've been reading this one science fiction series, the Miles Vorkosigan series, quite a bit lately. I think I read two books just this past week alone. The main character, Miles, speaks a bit like that; quick and proper. Willing to bet some of his character voice ended up sneaking into Trixie's as I was writing this chapter.
No need to apologize at all, I appreciate the critique. I think what happened here was that I've been reading this one science fiction series, the Miles Vorkosigan series, quite a bit lately. I think I read two books just this past week alone. The main character, Miles, speaks a bit like that; quick and proper. Willing to bet some of his character voice ended up sneaking into Trixie's as I was writing this chapter.
Wow that is an impressive reading pace. Anyway that makes a good amount of sense, I've heard lots of authors run into that, usually when it happens to me it's less character voices and more settings melding, like a subtle urban fantasy suddenly becomes DBZ though XD
as she forced herself to breath slowly wasn’t going away. it was a steady heat Through most of Cheerilee’s information was a number of years out of date Trixie knew whatever it was it had t be bad
1. Breathe. 2. Forgot to capitalise. 3. Though. 4. To.
Yes, all of my yes. The ship must sail forth. Heck, I would go so far as to demand them be formally married and continue on the note where RDD left off just because I love continuity like that.
Yesss, the ancient Lunaverse otp crackship rises from the abyss...
Yes. Hell yes. Hell ing yes.
*looks to the recondmended stories list* Why in the bloody Celestia is my fic reconmended in the similar story list? My story is christmas related, not a romantic comedy!
Um....anyway.
I look at theseheat stories and think to myself "I wonder if I should do them for the show as an actual episode or something silly" because I love them so much.
:o
Instant follow, of course.
Great opening chapter!
If I had any critiques it would be that some of the early exposition felt a tad too much and that near the end Trixie's manner of speech felt oddly... I'm not sure what exactly, somehow slightly off in some places, too prompt or proper maybe? Sorry.
But those are both minor quibbles, overall I thought the opening chapter was great, very enjoyable, smooth pacing and Raindrops dipping into fantasy and freaking out was hilarious and sympathetic. Trixie's characterization came across well and I especially liked her attempt to support Raindrops when she saw she was worried, somehow hearing Raindrops Amore, sounded great. Plus Raindrop's "just fine with that' attitude was well articulated and left both characters feeling fitting and identifiable.
Good
I'm French, so I can translate what you meant to say if you want.
I like this.
Long ago, a prophecy came to me. A wise one said that a certain event such as this one might occur. It seems that he was correct. All I can say is...
YEAH, BABY, YEAH!
5651157
As well it should, as its one of RDD's most hilariously good works. I only hope to do it some manner of justice with this humble attempt at a sequel.
5651182
Indeed. Thank you.
5651315
I don't know what it is about the concept of "heat" but its a funny concept to try and write. Awkward, but fun.
5651355
Thanks. Just hope I can do some justice to the amazing work you did on the previous story.
5651669
No need to apologize at all, I appreciate the critique. I think what happened here was that I've been reading this one science fiction series, the Miles Vorkosigan series, quite a bit lately. I think I read two books just this past week alone. The main character, Miles, speaks a bit like that; quick and proper. Willing to bet some of his character voice ended up sneaking into Trixie's as I was writing this chapter.
5653944
Thank you.
5656342
Sure, I'd appreciate that. I can only get so far with Google translations.
5657197
Happy to hear it.
5658123
Don't know if I rate a prophecy but I'll sure as heck try my best.
5664733
Wow that is an impressive reading pace. Anyway that makes a good amount of sense, I've heard lots of authors run into that, usually when it happens to me it's less character voices and more settings melding, like a subtle urban fantasy suddenly becomes DBZ though XD
as she forced herself to breath slowly
wasn’t going away. it was a steady heat
Through most of Cheerilee’s information was a number of years out of date
Trixie knew whatever it was it had t be bad
1. Breathe.
2. Forgot to capitalise.
3. Though.
4. To.
Yes, all of my yes. The ship must sail forth. Heck, I would go so far as to demand them be formally married and continue on the note where RDD left off just because I love continuity like that.