• Published 20th Feb 2015
  • 2,013 Views, 38 Comments

Mommy, Mommy, Look! - Maddiepink5



Queen Chrysalis has a very cute daughter. This daughter has an essay to write for school.

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"The Most Amazingest Story I Ever Writed"

It was a very pretty day in Ekwestria. All of the ponies were very happy and singing and laffing and having lots of fun. They were making delishus love and brading each other's manes which is easy for them to do because they all have manes but only I have a mane, none of my friends do. It's because I'm a Princess.

On this very byotiful day I walk into the treehouse liberary place which smells really dusty and gross, but that's okay because soon I will be eating lots of love! And that means I can deal with anything because love is very yummy!

I am not very good at disguys magic so I use the same disguys as often as possible. Mom says that's a defawlt disguys. I dunno what defawlt means but it probably is something I'll learn when I'm older. Daddy always says I'll learn things when I'm older. Then Mommy teaches me those things anyway cuz Mommy has a lot more power than Daddy and she can do whatever she wants without worrying about the consakwenses.

Anyway so I put on my disguys and knock on the door to the dusty liberary and a purple pony ansers the door. Her name is Twilite Sparkle and Mommy hates her but did you kno that all the ponies love her? So I say hello miss Sparkle wow you are very pretty may I come in? and she says Of course welcome to the liberary. Then she opens the door.

Ponies say that Twilite is very smart but I don't think so because she lets me right in even thoh she dosn't know who I am. So when I go in I say surprise! You have fallen into my trap! and i form a whole cocoon around her and she says nooooo but it is too late because I have captered her. Then she is in a cocoon and I become Twilite Sparkle. I can do this because this is a story about me being older when I will be a kween insted of a Princess so I am very good at magic. Rite now I'm not very good at magic but I will be when I am kween. So now i am Twilite Sparkle.

Do not worry I say as I stroke the cocoon. I will not hurt your frends I will just eat there love and then I will be very strong because everypony loves you and I will have all there love. And she says what do you mean everypony love me? And I say ponies are very stupid that they can't see who love them. Changlings can sense love and see who loves who but ponies are obilivius. I say every single one of your frends is in love with you Twilite Sparkle. And she says what? and I say yes it's true. And now I will eat it all up.

Twilite is so serprised she cannot say anything and I fly out the door. First i see a rainbo in the sky so I go up and see a blue pegusus named Rainbo Dash. I say hello Rainbo Dash and she says hello Twilite Sparkle and then I fly over and kiss her. Rainbo Dash is so shocked and a bunch of love comes out and I eats it all up. It is very yummy. I say goodbye Rainbo Dash and she says okay by the way your very pretty and I say yes I kno goodbye.

Then I follow the smell of appels and find Applejack. Hello Applejack you are swety i say and she says yes I am do you like it and i say yes and I kiss her. Then all the love comes out and I eats it all up. I think it tastes like appels but I am a changling so I am not so shure what appels tastes like. Then I say also i actually don't like your swetyness goodbye.

Then I go walk on the streets and all the ponies bow down to me because I am there amazing princess. Then a pink pony comes up to me. I say hello Pinky pie and she said hello Twilite wow look at how everypony bows to you. I say yes it is because i am a byotiful pony princess. She says yes your byotiful and I love you and i say wow Pinky pie you are so random and she said I'm sereeous. I say wow I also love you and I kiss her and eat all her love and it is delishus.

I also go to see Rareity and Fluttershi but I don't feel like writing about them cuz there boring. So then once I eated all there love I burped a little then said scuze me then I went back to the liberary. Twilite looked very bored so I untangled her and said good luck i made a mess of your frends and she said that's okay I love sulving frendship problems.

So I said okay bye and went home and that was my secret undercover misshun. The end.

****

Queen Chrysalis stood prone, analyzing the lined paper she held in her holed hoof. Before her, a small changeling filly no older than eight smiled up at her, showing her missing front fang for the world to see.

"Well, Mommy? What do you think? It's perfect, right?"

Chrysalis looked at the paper, back at the filly, then back at the paper. "...My daughter, wasn't this supposed to be a real experience of going undercover? Why did you not research this in the library and find a good experience?"

The filly's smile tilted downward. "Oh. Sorry, Mommy. I just made it up because it was supposed to be my own experience. I-I'm sorry." The nymph sniffled.

"Oh my dearest daughter. Do not cry." Lighting up her horn, she lifted her daughter into her open hooves, nuzzling her carnation pink mane gently. "You are not in trouble. On the contrary, I...I cannot believe you have not gone undercover yet."

"You keep saying I have to wait, but you never tell me when."

"I know." The queen sighed, setting her daughter down. "I've done you wrong, my dear. You're already eight and haven't yet experienced such a mission. I guess I've been too busy planning..." She shook her head. "Never mind that. Come, Sky. It's time."

Sky's eyes widened. "Really? Oh boy! I'm going undercover! I'm going undercover!" Her little wings buzzed and she landed on her mother's back. "Let's go! Right now, Mommy!"

Chrysalis chuckled at the young one's joy. "Of course, my dear." She started to walk. "Now, let's go over the rules. Rule number one: you can't just randomly kiss everypony..."

Author's Note:

I'm not even sure what this is.

Oh, and please upvote if you liked it, and downvote if you didn't. I actually use upvotes/downvotes as a way of measuring the quality/success of a story.

Comments ( 37 )

I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU AND SNUGGLE YOU AND CALL YOU GEORGE!

5648712 xD this is kwote.

XD I really do wonder what this mission would be. Hey you could continue make a chaoter about the family having a field trip day! Would be fun! Would earn the romance tag maybe?

Kwooote btw.

5648697
Wow, thanks so much for the in depth comment. It's refreshing to see some people actually helping a writer instead of saying good or bad.
So-
Yes, changeling hair is like that. That is, Chrysalis's hair is. All the other changelings have no hair. A common fanon is that all changeling royalty has hair, which is something I subscribe to.
Yeah, it really has nothing to do with romance, but I still wasn't entirely sure. I'll probably take it down.
I very very very much considered giving an intro like that, but again, I just wasn't sure. Let me bounce the idea off a couple of my friends, and if they agree I'll put it in.
I guess I could see where you were coming from with the chapter title. Unlike your other suggestions, I still kinda like it like that, but perhaps I'll put it in quotes or something, like Sky actually said it.

Thanks for all your suggestions. I'll definitely be implementing one or more of them.


5648712
And then she will eat all the love you give off. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt! xD

5648806
5648697
More common fanon is that all changelings have "hair", but it's a silk-like material that they use for constructing cocoons and shiz.

Aww she's so cute. Maybe she'll be the one to discover that if you give love, you get love, and bring aobut an era of peace between changelings and ponykind

5648806

She's so cuuuuuute! :rainbowkiss:

I might have to put this in one of my stories someday. If that's ok with you, tho.

5649247 That's what we all hope. ;) ((pm me if you wish))

5649301
That's absolutely fine! For reference, this a story about her past...at her "current" age, a teenager, but if you write about her as a filly all you need to know is she's a great flier and bad magic user. Even if you dont end up using her, I'm thrilled you'd even consider it! :pinkiehappy:


5649247
Now that would be interesting. If it were to happen, it'd be a sequel to my current project, which has Sky as a side character in her teens. You've definitely given me inspiration though!

5650334

Ok, I might pair her up with my Changeling OC. Thanks!

I WILL DOWNVOTE IT IF YOU DON'T UPDATE IT!

Nah...

But seriously, this has potential!

Awwww, adorable little kid.

(good job!)

Very nice, so glad I had time to read it :twilightsmile:

Eh, it isn't bad, but early on, it's a very tough read. I'm not going to upvote, or downvote it.

Princess Sky is adorably silly. And evil.

She is undoubtedly Mommy's Little Villain.

This. is. so bucking CUTE...

I now have my daily dose of adorableness for the next fortnight, great work with Sky, consider this a follow :twilightsmile:

Thank you all for all the comments <3 I truly appreciate it! I'm just really happy that I pulled off an OC well enough that it didn't detract from the fic. At least, you guys seem to think that it worked ^^ Success! Really, I'm so happy right now.

Princess Sky is so adorable. When she says that mommy is more powerful than daddy, I am wondering who her daddy is. Is it Shining Armor? Great story, an upvote and a fave.

5671178 It might just mean she is more powerful politically. But trust me... she's strong real strong. http://princessebet.deviantart.com/art/Father-and-Daughter-464760237 Also here he is. His name is Ao. (Ay-Oh)

5671178
Though the comment from nion might seem out of place, our canon works together. Ao is his OC and Sky is mine. Sky was born pre-Canterlot invasion, just that Chryssi's rage built up against the specist ponies, so much so that she was willing to marry Shining Armor to get revenge.

It seems that everyone thinks Sky is adorable. I will be keeping this in mind for future oneshots, so...keep an eye out :raritywink:

Chrysalis's daughter is freaking adorkable. :yay:

This was hilarious. I just wonder what, for heaven's sake happened to Twilight's social life. :rainbowlaugh:

5696585

no no stop that

bad nionios

we dont say that kind of stuff out loud :unsuresweetie:

To be honest I never thought this to be funny but I was wrong you surprise me....

5855576 Your face is funny :P ((profile pic))

Oh god, the cute. Hnnnnnng! *clutches chest*

I wouldn't mind seeing more of her. And I can just so vividly imagine Chryssie's expression at the end.

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