Prologue: Differences
Prologue:
Differences
The city of Townsville!
… Is not where this story takes place. Let's join our heroes, the Powerpuff Girls, as they recover from the latest scheme of villainy that has befallen them.
-----
"When I get my hands on Princess, she's going to wish she was never born," Buttercup said, rousing Blossom from unconsciousness.
She tried to open her eyes, but that was a mistake. The sudden light set off a nuclear explosion in her brain, causing her to screw her eyes shut. "Now, Buttercup, don't do anything you might regret," Blossom chided. "After all, we're alive and well, aren't we? Er… alive anyway," she amended after a moment. "I have a headache the size of some of those monsters from Monster Island."
"Well, at least I'm not alone in that," Buttercup's voice replied. "Someone ought to tell those overseas scientists not to accept Princess's credit card. What was that gun, anyway?"
"Beats me," Bubbles chimed in with a groan. "Ow… why is the light so bright? Can someone turn it down?" She had apparently learned the same thing that Blossom had; don't open your eyes right after being unconscious.
Sucking in a breath, Blossom risked cracking one eye open. The sliver of light didn't set off any explosions in her mind, so she slowly opened it further, followed by her other eye. She was on her back, staring at the sky. Glancing around, she saw that she was in a clearing in a rather dark forest. The look of the trees gave her the shivers. Twitching a little, Blossom tried to move. When her body didn't protest, she forced herself to sit up with a grunt. As she did so, however, something felt off. Why couldn't she feel her hands? She looked down at her arms.
"What the heck?!" Her arm was covered in short, thick pink hair and ended in… well, a hoof. She winced as the shout set off another explosion in her head. Trying to massage her head didn't help that much, especially since she no longer had fingers.
"Blossom, not so loud," Buttercup groaned, with a whimper of agreement from Bubbles. "What's gotten you so… oh." As Buttercup's voice trailed off, Blossom looked around, and spotted what she assumed were her sisters.
A light-green pony was pushing herself to her hooves; the absolutely peeved expression on her face, in addition to an untidy black mane and tail, told that this was Buttercup. Next to her, a light-blue pony with Bubbles’s hai- uh, mane-style stared in turn at the other two and herself.
"Well… this is different," Bubbles said before rising to her hooves.
"Different? That's not the word I'd use," Buttercup snorted, scuffing the ground with a hoof. If it weren't for the fact that the ponies' mouths were moving in tandem with the words that were spoken, Blossom was sure she'd have been looking harder for her sisters. As it was, she could only look down at her own pink-haired legs and hooves.
"Alright, let's not lose our heads, here," Blossom said after a moment, trying to regain control of the situation. "This is… bizarre, true, but we can't fall to pieces because we're not in our old bodies. This isn't the first time we've been changed into something else, remember?"
"Yeah, but last time, we couldn't talk. This isn't normal," Buttercup countered. "Plus, that time was because Mojo stole that Anubis head, and was changing everyone. Who knows why or how we changed this time."
"Calm down, Buttercup," Bubbles said, lifting off into a hover. "We can't just… huh?" Twisting her head around, she looked at her back. A pair of wings the same color as her coat were flapping on Bubbles's back, keeping her aloft. "Where did these come from?" she asked, confused.
Blossom and Buttercup checked their own backs, only to find them devoid of wings. Buttercup then looked at Blossom, and her eyes widened. "No wings, but you've got a horn on your head, Leader Girl."
Reaching up with a hoof (a feat that she idly noted was normally impossible for ponies), Blossom could indeed feel something sticking out from her forehead. "So…I'm a unicorn, then? And Bubbles is a pegasus?"
Buttercup shrugged. "So what does that make me? Just a pony? Not like it really mat-oof!" She had attempted to kick off into the air, only to fall back to earth. "What the-?! I can't fly anymore!"
"What?!" the other two exclaimed, eyes widening.
Blossom then tried to fly as well, with no more success than Buttercup. Her eyes widened even more. "Girls, quick! We need to test all of our powers!" she ordered quickly. "We'll do our shared powers first, then the ones unique to each of us, got it?"
"Right!" Bubbles and Buttercup nodded.
"Okay, first thing's first: super strength!" Blossom said, standing up. She started to walk over to a tree, only to fall flat on her face as she tripped over her own hooves. "Ugh… correction: learning how to walk."
Buttercup chuckled a little, until she fell over with her first steps as well. "Seconded," she groaned.
Bubbles giggled at the display, until Blossom fixed her with a look. "Um, what?" the blond pegasus asked.
"You too, Bubbles. If Buttercup and I have to suffer, so do you," Blossom replied.
Sighing, Bubbles dropped out of her hover, and soon joined her sisters in tripping over herself.
"Ugh, this is going to take a while…" Buttercup moaned.
-----
Despite Buttercup's worry, the three transformed superheroes were soon able to move about naturally, as though they'd been born ponies.
"Okay, let's try this again," Blossom said, walking- er, trotting - over to a tree. "First test: super strength!" She raised a forehoof before remembering that she currently lacked hands. Blinking, she frowned, then turned to face away from the tree before kicking out with one hind leg. The tree shook a little, but didn't budge otherwise. Her frown changed into a disappointed look.
"No luck?" Bubbles asked, trotting over to Blossom from where she had tried kicking at her own tree. "Well, I suppose it's not the end of the world. Super strength isn't every-"
CRACK! Crash!
Both of them jumped and spun to face the noise. They saw a very smug-looking Buttercup walking away from the splintered stump she had just kicked the tree off of.
"I think that's a check for me," the black-maned pony said.
Blossom coughed. "Okay. That's Buttercup: 1, Bubbles and I: 0. Next up…heat vision! Let's pile some dead twigs and such together for targets." She reached up to break off some branches from the tree she was next to, only to once again be reminded of her lack of fingers. "Ugh, this is ridiculous!" she burst out, surprising the other two. "How can a limb that moves like an arm not have anything to grip with?! If I could just grab and hold something, that would make things a lot easier right now!" She didn't notice a snapping sound, nor her sisters' eyes widening.
"Um, Leader Girl…?" Buttercup said, trailing off.
"What?" Blossom asked sharply, turning to look at her brash sister.
"The branches… your horn…" was all Bubbles could squeak out.
"What about the bran…ches…?" Blossom turned back around, only to see the branches she had been reaching for floating in front of her face, wrapped in a pink aura. "What the heck?!" As she gasped in shock, the aura vanished, and the branches fell to the ground.
"Uh, Blossom, your horn was glowing at the same time those branches were floating," Bubbles explained. "Maybe it's some kind of unicorn magic?"
Blossom blinked. "Maybe…" She then concentrated, thinking about moving the branches. After a few moments, the branches were wrapped in the pink aura again, and began floating. "So a unicorn's horn allows a form of telekinesis," she commented, as she began gathering more branches, as well as loose twigs and other forest debris. "Remarkable. Still, this makes things easier for us."
"Speak for yourself," Buttercup muttered, glaring at her hooves. She looked up, and saw that Blossom was arranging the various debris into three piles. She also surrounded each pile with a circle of rocks, to prevent fire from spreading.
"Alright, like I said," Blossom remarked as she trotted back over to her sisters. "Test 2: Heat Vision."
The three each looked at one of the three piles, and focused. A moment later, one of the piles burst into flame, courtesy of a red beam. Bubbles and Buttercup blinked, then glanced at Blossom, who stared upwards, slightly cross-eyed.
"Nice shot, Leader Girl," Buttercup commented. "Looks like that's a point for you."
"Yeah…only it didn't come from my eyes. It came from my horn," Blossom said, confused.
"Eh, a point's a point. Who cares how it happened? You've got our heat rays." Buttercup was doing her best to not sound disappointed.
Bubbles coughed this time. "Well, what's next on the list, Blossom?"
Blinking, the unicorn shook her head. "Um, let's see… how about our auxiliary vision abilities?" Seeing her sisters' blank stares, she sighed. "Telescopic and see-through vision."
"Oh," the other two said with a nod.
For a few moments, the Girls-turned-ponies looked around, focusing on their enhanced vision abilities. This time, Bubbles cheered. "I've got them! Both of them!"
Blossom and Buttercup sighed. "So is that one point or two?" asked Buttercup.
"Eh, the two are related, so we'll count it as one." Blossom said. "Hm, what else do we share…?"
"Hearing?" asked Buttercup.
"What should we listen for?" replied Blossom. "Ugh, I didn't think about this. Some of our powers are rather circumstantial."
"Hey, here's an idea," Buttercup said, turning to Bubbles. "Bubbles, fly up above the treeline, then try speaking to us like you would normally."
Bubbles blinked, but nodded, soaring up over the trees. A few moments passed before Blossom and Buttercup sighed again.
"I can't hear her. Can you?" asked Blossom.
"Nope. This bites. Only thing I've got so far is our strength." Buttercup was definitely disappointed… and unless Blossom's ears were failing her in more ways than one, there was also a bit of fear in the green pony's voice.
Bubbles soared back down at this point. "Well, looks like I've got that one, too. I could hear you two clearly."
"And we already know you've got flight," Blossom said. "Is there anything else we share?"
"I don't think so. The only things left I can think of are unique to one of us," Bubbles replied.
Neither of them noticed Buttercup's slowly shrinking irises. "Just… just unique powers?" she asked, unable to hide a stammer.
"Looks like," Blossom said. "Let's see if I've still got my ice breath…" She sucked in a breath, aiming at the still-burning pile of debris from her heat test. To her confusion, a blue ray shot out of her horn, freezing the flames solid. "Huh. Again, it came out of my horn."
Bubbles rolled her eyes. "Duh, Blossom. If you knew anything about fantasy, you'd know that unicorn horns are central to their magic."
"Well, excuse me for being more interested in facts rather than myths," Blossom retorted. Then she blinked. "Er, that is, should-be myths."
Bubbles sighed. "Well, I've got one thing left that I can think of…" She sucked in a breath of her own.
Blossom and Buttercup clapped their hooves over their ears just in time. A piercing shriek escaped Bubbles's lips, ruffling their manes from the force. It lasted only a second, but when they looked up, they saw that the loose debris piles had been blown away.
"Sonic Scream, check for Bubbles," Blossom said, standing up. She turned to Buttercup. "I can't remember, do you have - Buttercup?"
Buttercup had curled up in the fetal position, her irises little more than pinpricks now. "One thing… I only have one thing, out of all the things we used to share," she mumbled. "We used to be so alike… what's happened to us? Why are we so different now?" Her voice grew louder with every word.
Bubbles and Blossom exchanged wide-eyed looks. Neither of them could remember Buttercup acting like this before. "Um, Buttercup?" Bubbles asked, looking back at the increasingly hysterical pony.
Buttercup didn't hear her. "Why?! What's going on here?! Why am I the one who's lost the most?!" Before she could panic much further, her head was seized in a pink aura, and pulled to look Blossom in the eyes.
"Snap out of it!" barked the unicorn. Buttercup's hysterical rambling stopped. "Close your eyes," Blossom continued. The green pony did so. "Breathe. Just take a deep breath." Blossom repeated the mantra, recalling the first chapter of a book on meditation she had read once. Buttercup drew in a breath, then breathed out. Inhale, exhale. After another moment, she opened her eyes. Her irises had returned to normal.
"I'm sorry, girls. It was just too many blows in too short a time," she apologized, her eyes brimming with tears. "I mean, I know we'd all started to branch off from each other back home, but still, we had so much in common. And now? Now we've got nothing, aside from our names." Buttercup was the tough one, the pillar of strength for the girls. But even she wasn't immune to being sad. When she was sad about something, it was often something big.
Fortunately, she wasn't alone. "Oh," Bubbles said, hugging her with her forehooves. "Don't worry, Buttercup. Even if we're not the same anymore, we're still sisters at heart."
Blossom joined in the hug. "And that's what counts. Bubbles is right. We may not look the same or have the same powers, but it's what's inside that matters. Right now, we can't afford to lose our heads. We've got no idea where we are, or why we're in these bodies. We have to keep our cools until we know more. And we're not going to learn anything else here. So let's get moving."
Wiping the tears out of her eyes, Buttercup nodded. "Yeah. Let's go." Bubbles nodded as well, and the three girls set off.
-----
After leaving the clearing, the forest had quickly turned dark. Still, with Bubbles scouting the way, they soon found a path that led out of the forest. As they left, they all unconsciously breathed a sigh of relief.
"Yeesh… That place was creepy," Buttercup said, shivering a little.
"Were you scared?" asked Blossom in a teasing tone.
"No!" Buttercup replied quickly. "I'm just… not used to being so underpowered. Who knows what that place has in it? What if we'd run into something like a cockatrice?"
Blossom rolled her eyes. "Please, Buttercup, cockatrices only exist in myths."
Buttercup gave her a half-lidded stare in response. "Says the unicorn, who's traveling with a pegasus."
Blossom blinked. "Uh… point taken," she said, now giving the forest a wary look. After a moment, she shook herself. "Um, Bubbles, can you go up and have a look around for us?"
With a nod, Bubbles soared higher into the sky. She looked around for a bit, before jerking back in midair. Something had startled her. When she returned to the others, she said, "Well, I think I know why we have these new bodies."
"Huh?" the other two replied with a blink.
"You can probably see it over the next hill," Bubbles said, as she floated forward. The other two followed, cresting the hill, and gasped at what they saw.
A small town lay before them. It seemed to consist mostly of small one-or-two-story houses with thatched straw roofs. There were a few buildings that stood out, such as one that looked like the witch's house from Hansel and Gretel, a circular building with a small spire in the middle, and a rather large tree with windows. But what got the girls' attention were-
"Ponies!" Blossom and Buttercup breathed. The town appeared to be entirely inhabited by ponies. A few pegasi flew through the airspace above the town, while other ponies walked on the ground. The girls didn't need super vision to see all of this; all of the ponies were quadrupedal and colorful.
For a moment, all three of them just stared. After a moment, Blossom finally spoke. "That gun that Princess used… it must have been some sort of trans-dimensional displacement device! That's pretty amazing, actually."
Buttercup and Bubbles blinked and looked at her. "Uh, care to say that in layman's terms?" Buttercup asked.
Blossom sighed. "It transported us to another dimension. That's what that vortex was, a dimensional tear. Which means getting home's going to be trickier than I thought."
"Will we make it back home?" asked Bubbles, voice shaking slightly.
"I'm… not sure," Blossom admitted, looking down. "I've never heard of anything like this happening before." She shook herself, going into leader mode. "But we can worry about getting home later. Right now, we're in unfamiliar territory, so here's what we'll do. I'll go into town, see if they have a library or somewhere else where I can get some information. Bubbles, you fly overhead, scout the area. Buttercup, you look through the outskirts of town, see if you can learn anything from there. We'll try to meet up later, okay?"
Despite their trepidation at the possibility of not going home, the other two replied with a firm "Got it!" Bubbles took off into the air, while Buttercup took a side road that branched off of the path they were on. Blossom herself took a breath, then began her trek into town.
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YAY POWERPUFF GIRLS!
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif
I Can't believe i remember this show.
i want to sing the theme song now...
Oh my god the nostalgia.
Didn't you forget super speed and damage resistance?
"As she did so, however, something felt off. Why couldn't she feel her hands?" "Trying to massage her head didn't help that much, especially since she no longer had fingers."
But... but... they don't have hands~! OR fingers!
561665
I agree with you there. It would have been a funny and unique twist from normal for these three to be some of the only pony transformed folk to actually be perfectly comfortable with getting hooves and using them just like they used their nub hands.
They never had fingers. In fact, they had trouble with hands with fingers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q49NYwy3k48
Hands don't work hee hee.
I have to ask.
What was Buttercup's unique power?
Bubbles is best.
564171
Curling her tongue.
The city of Townsville!
I cannot stop hearing that guy's voice. I love his voice so freaking.
Sugar, spice, and everything nice! These were the ingredients used to create the perfect little girls, but Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: Chemical X!
Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra super powers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, have dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the forces of evil!
So following this.
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
Dat intro
As I recall, Bubbles was not the type to insult anyone's knowledge of anything, so you should probably change it so she's not insulting Blossom's knowledge of unicorn behavior. That's the kind of thing Buttercup would say, not Bubbles.
561379
And Bubble's ability to talk to animals. I can see who's going to be Fluttershy's best friend.
Pretty good so far!
"... no longer had fingers." They didn't have fingers to begin with!
....... nitpick time. In one episode, Blossom switched bodies with the professer. She couldnt answer the phone normally because she wasnt used to picking things up with fingers. However, in her normal body, she can pick things up easy. Ergo: they dont need fingers.
duh duh duh just in time! the power-puff girls! gah! outta mah head!
Sad thing is, I can't remember the show. But still,
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
Read the first chapter, pretty good. Like how you've got the grasp of perspectives, an interesting beginning where the girls are trying to get hang of their powers and you reintroduce them to us. I will have to be honest though and will soon read how you interact them with the other characters (If they do)
But yeah, guess what I've got, criticism. Best of helping you become a better writing is if I prod I think is your problems until they stop becoming problems and turn into strengths, at least for me as they are only opinions. You're a good writer, so there's nothing definite I got here that's a sure thing, more of a maybe
. Nonetheless I will share my opinions. Start off with, the story gets aggravating how you insist that Blossom has dynamite in her brain, does she seriously have explosions being set off her head? Like the reason I say this is because you keep saying she does. I know you're trying to exaggerate, but you're not very good at pulling it as you say for example "The sudden light set off a nuclear explosion in her brain," Makes it sound as if she really had explosions go off in her head. Try to rephrase those to that it just felt, as I'm sure Blossom would be lying on the ground in a vegetable state regardless she's a powerpuff girl. Really you've got to make your exaggerations a little more obvious they're exaggeration.
.
Another problem you have in my opinion is that you tell a bit too much. Not too much that it's ridiculous and I should smack you (I get too many of those), but remember that you're telling this to the reader, just tell as much as you need us to know and trust us to understand what's going on with the hints you've given us, otherwise you just make us feel dumb and you don't want to make us feel dumb do you
Here's some notes anyways that justify what I'm saying and examples that I hope will help.
"I have a headache the size of some of those monsters from Monster Island."/ Quite the mouthful.
Blossom risked cracking one eye open./ Are you serious?
Blossom tried to move. When her body didn't protest, she forced herself to sit up with a grunt./ This could so easily be shortened.
As she did so, however, something felt off./ You could get rid of this sentence, the following one already shows something off, unless not feeling hands is normal.
the shout set off another explosion in her head/ Stop bring the idea she had dynamite in her head!
Yeah, but last time, we couldn't talk/ act as if being unable to talk was a good thing.
she ordered quickly./ The fact she used the word quick, I'd assume already she'd be speaking quickly.
The three each looked/ This would sound better if it was just 'the three lookedd'
focusing on their enhanced vision abilities/ How did they do this? Did they peer, squint their eyes, stretch their heads forward.
Buttercup didn't hear her. "Why?! What's going on here?! / I'm pretty sure we know Buttercup wasn't listening.
Hope these do help, but am enjoying this, just that I always like to be of help when I can. Keep up the writing anyhows.
thank you now the theme song is gona be plating in my head all day
Ignore WalrusM3, everything he criticized was perfectly normal and appropriate. I found nothing wrong in your story. In fact, comparing the spike of pain from light or sound in the case of an concussion or migraine to an explosion is so common that it might even qualify as cliche.
568407
Fair enough, ignore my opinion. But just because a hundred people do it, doesn't make something right. Though I will admit that I should probably have rephrased what I said. What I mean is that there's nothing wrong with the story either. But how I figured in order to improve the story, hence make it much better than it already is, is make the exaggerations a lot more clearly, stop insisting that someone's head is about to go boom and tell just what is needed. That's my opinion just to remember. You can listen to Person orders people to ignore what others have to say
or you can at least consider what I have to say, that's your call.
But Buttercup had that tornado thingy.
"She forced herself to sit up with a grunt. As she did so, however, something felt off. Why couldn't she feel her hands?"
I read this at first as "something fell off". Yikes!
Why couldn't she feel her hands?
Oh... Oh wow...
This right here almost made me stop reading. Yes, this.
Why? Because if the author is going to entirely miss such a golden opportunity, what makes me think they'll utilize ANY of this premise to its full and logical potential?
To explain... The Powerpuff Girls never freaking HAD hands in the first place! What stupid anime-reconversion bullshit are you playing at, pretending like the girls have hands with fingers? That might fly in Bleedman's PPGD comic, but not here.
At any rate, when I started reading this, I noted the transparent literary device of all three girls being unable to see at first just so you could build-up the reveal. But I forgave it, because I realized the delicious humor, in how the girls probably wouldn't notice much of a difference because they ALREADY practically had hooves to begin with. I expected them to notice tails or ears first, not "miss" the hands and fingers they never had.
I'll keep reading, but mind that only this far in you've already alienated your likely demographic.
EDIT:
And... Oh Dawkins... seriously??
You have BUBBLES realize she and her sisters are PONIES, and she DOESN'T burst suddenly into fits of girlish glee? Really? You're going to play this straight, like she would honestly not lose her fucking MIND over the idea, for at LEAST a few damn seconds?
I'm sorry, but this ISN'T a matter of writing style, it's knowing the goddamn material you're working with. This is SO O-O-C that I can't keep quiet about it. This is a sheer and obvious failure to do what is REQUIRED of a crossover.
I hope Bubbles speaks with the same voice as Twilight's *squee*
Buttercup, try doing the tongue thingy xD
Interezante historia, me hace entrar en nostalgia XD
"THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE" *mind blown by nostalgia*
572440 Dude....5 words, Ov. Er. Re. Act. Ing.
Wow, this is so awesome
! I recently discovered the powerpuff girls show (for the very first time) and I absolutely love it! And I'm really liking this story too, very nice crossover. The one grip I would have is that they never really had fingers, so I don't think they'd miss them. Although they did still seem to pick things up alright without fingers, while the ponies normally use some other device (like a saddle umbrella for example), so I guess there might be a difference. Anyways that's a small detail anyways, this is still awesome
Buttercup ends having the short end of the stick... again....
I don't get why Buttercup would be so upset about them having different powers. They should be thinking that whatever changed them to pony's is temporary and they will find a way to change back and save the day like always. They've had their powers messed with and even taken away before. Whenever that happened the first thing they did is try to get them back. When that didn't work, then they started to worry about what a life with different/no powers would be like. The girls haven't even explored their surroundings yet and Buttercup is like 'oh no, we were already starting to be different but now we're really different' as though their new bodies are permanent. It's very OOC. It feels like you, the author, plan on having them stay as ponies permanently (at least for this story) and since you have knowledge of the plot you are making the characters act as though they also poses that information. They don't know they are going to be stuck as ponies for any extended period so why are they immediately acting as though they do? You need to take a moment and really put yourself in the shoes of your characters in order to produce realistic reactions. If you want them to act a certain way just writing it like that feels forced and fake. You have to think about how you want them to act, then think about what circumstances are most likely to get them to react that way, them put them in those circumstances. That's how characters feel natural.
When Bubbles asks if they ever will make it back home, that was in character and fit the scene. It was a reaction to the new information (realizing that they might be in another universe, not just in a forest somewhere else on earth).
Just my thoughts, hope it helps. I'm enjoying the story so far and will continue reading!