Too Much Randomness

by xluferx

(The crazy Arc) Leave no men behind

Author's Note:

Gonna be honest,
I never felt so proud in writting a chapter.
Also the crazy arc is coming to his end sadly, but this is the most crazy thing i have ever written.
And I'm very proud of this.

I hope you enjoy

Leave a like and fav and do not forget to leave your comments below they are awesome

Finally.

After days the goal was achieved.

The Duchess Twilight Sparkle, Celestia and Luna; who were still in their younger form, were gathered in the throne room in front of King Knight or also known as Big Me or Zeppelin Sullivan. He got up and with grace and with his golden cane on hand walked in direction to the tri, his cape flowing with the no existent motions of the air. As he neared the trumpets from above began to play their praises to him, their love, their appreciation and confetti in uncountable quantities began to rain, filly Luna hissed menacingly at the confetti that attempted o get near her and immediately was burn with her weak but cute magical powers. It was obvious that she felt a lot of rancor to it.

However King Knight didn’t mind and kept walking with his grace and pride.

“We approve so if you may.” He got a scroll of paper from somewhere inside his beautiful golden chest plate and showed it to the three ponies. “Please sign the contract”

Celestia grabbed the scroll with her magical grip and began to read, Twilight’s only function was to be the escort of the two fillies because they were foals and foals aren’t allowed to roam the castle and much less the streets alone; she really liked her new position as the Duchess of Ponyville so there wasn’t much to complain or to make demands for change something.

“What about our old titles?” Celestia asked.

“The most thou can obtain is the title of Duchess, but thou shall help with the management of this fair kingdom.”

The ex-princess of the sun looked at her dear young sister who nodded in approval reassuring her to sign the contract, though they will miss their titles as princesses of Equestria.

Let’s not forget that Celestia is still mad at Luna for giving away the Kingdom so without her sister noticing she removed one of her feather so she could use it as a once time quill. Of course little Woona yelped at the feeling of losing one feather of her right wing. Celestia submerged the tip of the quill in ink that was floating beside the scroll.

“WHOAWHOAWHOA!”

Our dear Mini Zeppelin halt the entire scene.

“Let’s stop here!”

“We cannot rush things!! People out there wanted to know the stuff that happened on this time that you skipped for some… random reason.”
Mini Zeppelin signaled the scene behind him.

“This is spoilers!”

“Quack, Quack, Quack!”

“U right Mini-Zeppelin!”

“QUACK!!!”

“Okay…U right Mini-Gunther!”

“Quack quack quack?”

Pondering was an understanding.

“Mmmm, Sadly the mystery of the quack must wait.”

“Quack?”

“And the Pootis too.”

So our dear little random friend grabbed the reality and ripped it apart creating a dimentional rift where he tossed his body in.

“WAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

He never expected the dimensional rift was going to be the fly of despair!

And he was turned into Squidward!

Squidward was falling through the Fly of Despair!!!

Where is Sponge Bob and Patrick when you need them?!

---

AND

HE

FINALLY

ARRIVED

TO

SOMEWHERE

“Well, here we areeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooouuuuuuu…”

But when he checked his surroundings

“…Shit”

He was in the different somewhere.

A somewhere where he didn’t belong.

It was THE SOMEWHERE!

“Let’s a go!”

He heard from afar and at that moment his moementum was increasing.

Something very fast and powerful tried to tackle him“HA!” but for his luck he managed to dodge it.

“HA!”

His luck only works once it seems.

“Yoloooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!” He screamed as he was sent flying by the thing that charged at him, reasons unknown to him but not important. Priorities first, like his sky diving glasses despite he has no eyes.

He might be logic but being random is his nature and nothing can go against nature.

The speed increased and fire began to form around him, several spark of fire slowly covered his body he felt like an asteroid nearing its final destination.

So to sum things up.

He impacted the floor face being the primal receptor of the impact.

A huge crater was formed aftermath, the surroundings were different; because smoking blue crabs are something that shouldn’t be.
From the crater a hand rose, but the han d was different from what used to be.

It was even smaller!

Then more hands accompanied the single one that was raised.

Mini-Zeppelin became even more Mini-Zeppelin and has now more brothers to play with, that‘s not a good thing?! Too many Zeppelin is great, too much logic to be comprehended.

“Dammit!” They shout in unison as the finally got out of the smoking crater.

Relaxing the muscles, they did.

Breaths they did.

And Fusion they said.

In pair of two they did the sacred ritual that Akari Toroyama has created fto the supreme being in the universe, many kids tried and failed to complete the ritual; even some of them died with honor but the difference was that Mini-Zeppelin knew the secret that was hidden from the public eye. Goku is the almighty being but they also worship in secrecy to another powerful man who is unknown and only few know of his great existence.

“All hail to Kenpanchi Ramassama!”

And Mini-Zeppelin returned to his original small size. Both of his hands clenched into fist and were placed on his waist meanwhile his head checked once again the environment where he was transporte4d by the fly of despair. Smoking blue crabs was only the start, because there was too much green color for his tastes.

“SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE!”

This place was the dammed somewhere where Shrek is the almighty being, this was the worst universe were he could have landed!!!
That fly of despair really know how to make you feel despair.

But this was no time to feel despair, this was the time to relax and pray.

He looked at the rainbow colored sky that was above him and brought a fist up.

“Lend me your strength Pootis!”

But nothing happened; the enemy was a lot of mini ogres of different tones of green using the sacred clothes which tried to recreate the relics of clothes that Shrek wore when he was spreading his words. The enemy began to shout Shrek in unison the Shrek could intensify.
But for the great relief and happiness of Mini-Zeppelin his prays were heard, from the sky a big Sandvich descend which was twenty times bigger than him, it was so beautiful to witness the greatness of the angelical Sandvich just like the stories described him, the lettuce was so fresh that the color green could not be described, the bread was so…so….so…bread, the cheese was so cheese that his words were not worthy to describe it, the tomate was in its perfect point that he could see how juicy it was, the meat was made from the most glorious cow in existence that a mouth could have ever tasted it and finally the olive at the top was so beautiful that it emanated a powerful light that blinded any heretic.

Its beautiful white wings extended and the Sanvich said the wise words that would mark Mini-Zeppelin for life.

“Eat me my son.”

Men do not cry,

They only piss through their eyes.

The Sandvich considered him worthy enough to take a bit of its magnificence the dream of al his life had become reality; it was time to make the great being proud of him.

“RANDOMMANATION!” (The word doesn’t even exist lol)

His battle cry was signal to use his random but awesome and lubricous OP powers to turn into whatever the fate decided, luck doesn’t exist; only fate.

This time his tiny body was engulfed but tons of chicks; baby chickens you pervert!

In only matters of seconds the hicks left his body so everybody could witness his new form,

Still in miniature size, to keep the things balanced of course.

And that’s is how the saint sandvich was devoured with faith and devotion, there was a man who also allowed others to eat his flesh and blood so they could be saved from the sin, unlike him this time it was for the salvation from the monstrosity that Shrek was.
Only after Mini-Owen finished the last remnants of the saint Sandvich did the Shrek follower did their move and sent him flying once again through the air but this time he exploded. The hit that received was so strong that destroyed him in to several pieces…

Or that’s what they believe they did.

What they didn’t know, was the fact that the explosion was only special effect for the new ability that he gained after eating the beautiful and indescribable delicious flesh of his savior which was division, now there was a battalion of Mini-Zeppelin fully standing and not really tiny ones. The original size of Mini-Zeppelin which was small but not that small to be considered a Lilliputian.

The army of randomness was assembled.

Together they shall fight!

“RANDOM!!!!”

Their battle cry had another use besides increase the morale of the troop, oh no

It was a call, and invocation or a summoning for their maximum weapon for war.

*BROOOM!*

The land trembled, every step was an earth quake, yet any of the Mini-mes faltered; their positions remained in place not moving an inch as they glared at the enemy army.

From afar the maximum weapon of the Randomness was coming; it was a combination of every possible thing in existence. It could be very big or it could become very small nobody could tell the truth and the nature of it.

The wait was short.

The Randomanator has arrived, the killer of all seriousness is here to bring some randomness.

However the Shrek followers were not idle and waited for the fate to decide their destiny, immediately they began to dance in synchronization, they looked like only one being moving there was no fault in any of them; as they danced they called for their maximum weapon and savior.

“This is my swamp.”

And Shrek came flying and tackled the Randomanator to the ground, the battle for the control of THE SOMEWHERE has begun.
“Mini-Zeppelin!” The original Mini-me was stopped from leading the initial charge, “This is not your battle.”

Original Mini-Zeppelin was stopped for two Mini-Zeppelin who had placed their hand on his shoulders ensuring that he could not move further.

“But I must fight!” He retorded sounded rather angry.

The others shook their head. “No, you must return you already have your battle in our somewhere.”

“I will not abandon any you!” Manly tears began to form, what the other him were saying was something that he couldn’t do; it was not right.
“You won’t,” The one ho had his hand on his left shoulder reassured him “ We will always be here with you” The placed which he signaled was his heart.

Original Mini-Zeppelin was stronger enough but what he said to him was just to much for him to endure, he hugged them and weep on their chest.

They shared a very warm and sad moment together in the middle of the battlefield.

“Is time.”

The three Mini-Zeppelin used their randomness and together grabbed Original Mini-Zeppelin and threw him in direction to the dimensional rift that just appeared above them.

“I will tell your story!”

And that was last thing what they heard from Original Mini-Zeppelin.

---

His vision returned.

“Uh?”

“Oh, great! You’ve finally woken up.” Twilight exclaimed.

He moved his head side to side so he could check his surroundings, it was indeed the library; residence of the purple unicorn.
“What happened?” H e asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Well little Luna knocked you out by accident when she discovered that she couldn’t read, but don’t worry you weren’t out for long and she is really sorry about it.” Said Twilight with a smile on her face.

“So everything was a dream after all.” He muttered with a sad voice, a very sad drepressed voice.
The unicorn raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Never mind.” Then he somehow yawned as he stretched both of his arms popping a few bones from his back.
“If you say so.” She was still unsure about what he said but she can worry later there was things to do first, like packing! “ When you feel better please go upstairs and help me with packing my things because I’m moving to another place.”

And Twilight left him all alone in the first floor of the library.

“A dream eh?” Honestly it felt too real and the emotions, the tears and even the hits were too real but then appearing in Twilight’s house and that he just woke up from a dream was too much randomness, he was the logical part of Big me or Big Zeppelin; it was his function to always try to explain things and the best explanation was that everything was a dream; even if that truth hurt him a lot.

“POOTIS.”

His head shoot up, he looked to his surroundings in search of the source of the pootis.

“POOTIS”

This time the source was just below him, on his chest pocket to be exactly.

A fast as he could possible go his hand went to said pockect and searche inside it, finally he pulled out a small pieace of paper and brought it closer to his pseudo eyes.

Gimme Dat Booty

He looked up, he visualized the roof as the sky that he used to see a time ago.

He was happy.

The story will be told to the future generations of the Mini-mes, so they would not be forgotten.

Comments

[Prophet_Of_Madness]

Dafuq Did I Just Read? Actually, No, Please Refrain From Answering That. I Would Like The Tattered Remnants Of My Sanity To Stay Where They Are.

Best Regards,
Prophet_Of_Madness

[Daedrik]

This makes sense