Goddammit such a good story why would you stop there

5593256
Who said I was stopping, every good story needs planning. I rest assure you I won't stop the story I pinkie promise

5593256
In fact I'm writing the next chapter as we speak

Hmm, it's interesting so far. Though there are some things that needs improving. Maybe spell check your words, fix your grammar, and give some space between paragraphs. Other than that, it seems like its off to a good start. Keep up the good work.

Good story but you need to check you spelling and grammar

5594021
I guess i do need to look over my work, I tend to work late at night so there are things i over look, if you want you could point out some of the things i need to fix while i finish up the next chapter. I'd really appreciate it

5593976
How big of a spacing to be exact, cause in my first story they told me to space between ponies talking which i did is it not enough?

Alright to those of you who pointed out my grammatical and spelling errors in the prologue i thank you, I probably didn't get all of them but I got most of them from what i could tell, you see i tend to work on my stories late at night so I may make a few error here and there, so I would really appreciate it if you guys and or girls would point some of these errors out to fix them so that everyone can enjoy the story error free, I would really appreciate that

5594088 Space between ponies talking is good, keep that up. When you write all of your description into one bunch, people tend to become intimidated, sometimes lose their place when reading, and just leave the story. Trust me, that has happened to me before. I personally have nothing against how you describe things in this fic, it's very good and very detailed so far.

I recommend you separate it into paragraphs, I think each paragraph should have at least 4-5 sentences. After the 5th sentence, you should start a new paragraph. That way, the narrative and description becomes a little easier to read for the viewers. I hope this helps.

5594144
Thanks this actually helps a lot, I'll be sure to do that right away,

5594163 Cool, and don't forget about character development

5594178
Trust me character development is not something I'll forget to do. I kinda think thats why I've been ignoring the small errors I uh tend to get so sucked into writing about what's going on in the story and how the characters are in it, that I move past a small thing here or there.

5594185 That explains the many grammar and spelling errors. But it looks like your heading in the right direction, just remember to fix those little mistakes.

Rainbow Dash went along with her friends despite her gut feeling that this Stallion was no good, "I'm telling you girl this is a bad idea I mean look at his horn it's not shaped right, or those eyes only evil ponies have red eyes".

Says the one with red eyes lol

7538253
Magenta eyes.

another Red and Black. Cool. If i had not only just discovered this, I'd sworn your character and mine were brethren.

*dramatic deep voice* Little did Rainbow Dash know, that there was a speck of evil inside her. DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUN