Butterscotch gets a lot more than he bargained for when he agrees to have the CMC over at his cottage for a slumber party, but this is not a bad thing at all. Curiosity has gotten the best of them, and they want to experiment with their young bodies.
so is Elusive supposed to be a male Rarity, or just Rarity who goes by the name of Elusive to Butterscotch? speaking of which, where does butterscotch come into all of this, is he related to fluttershy? is he a colt or a stallion? im kind of confused
5622980 It's rule 63. Butterscotch is male Fluttershy and Elusive is male Rarity. It seems the mane six are males in this story, but everyone else is their normal gender.
great first chapter, I can't wait to read the next one, though I like the touch of it being butterscotch and the CMC, instead of some character like spike.
Good start, no mistakes I could find, although I was so engrossed I was not looking. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Missing closing quotation marks at the end.
And again.
GG, Id like to see more of this
so is Elusive supposed to be a male Rarity, or just Rarity who goes by the name of Elusive to Butterscotch? speaking of which, where does butterscotch come into all of this, is he related to fluttershy? is he a colt or a stallion? im kind of confused
5622980 It's rule 63. Butterscotch is male Fluttershy and Elusive is male Rarity. It seems the mane six are males in this story, but everyone else is their normal gender.
great first chapter, I can't wait to read the next one, though I like the touch of it being butterscotch and the CMC, instead of some character like spike.
GG. Will continue to read. Also new watcher/subscriber, or whatever.
Male OR Female. It doesn't matter. I just want to give Butterscotch (or Fluttershy) a big hug!
5655312 That picture made me think something. . . Derpy for President 2015!
6094867 That would be hilarious to see on international news haha
You forgot the closing quote after "her".
I think you meant "fillie's" with an apostrophe, since this word is a possessive.
Should be "expressions were".
You accidentally added an extra end-quote after "gaze".
Should be "breaths" without the "e". See breathe vs breath.
9396049
Before I correct typos, I check "When is the last time the author was online?"
In this case, 2017. I doubt he's correcting typos