Scootaloo woke up from her slumber. She closed and opened her eyes a couple of times before sitting up on the bed she was in, and looked around. Around her was nothing, silence, emptiness. She looked over to the clock on the wall; it said 6:40AM. She looked around again, only to see Rainbow Dash in a deep sleep in the chair she was in yesterday. Scootaloo decided it would be best not to disturb her; after being awake for three days she needed sleep more than Scootaloo did.
Scootaloo wiggled her legs slightly, making the bed rustle and overlap. She leaned up and placed her front hooves on the cover, and then pulled her hind legs out from under the covers. She was standing on all four hooves on the bed. She felt the back of her mane, some of it had grown back, but she was still effectively bald. My hair grew a lot over one night, I’ll have my mane back in no time, she thought. The only thing that kept her from being embarrassed about the lack of hair was the fact that bandages were covering most of her head.
Scootaloo was unstable on her hooves, but she was trying to trot over to Rainbow Dash, who was still sleeping. Not long after, she leapt over to the chair Rainbow was on, landing on her as softly as she could. Scootaloo wrapped her hooves around Rainbow’s stomach, gripping it happily. Rainbow Dash was still in her deep sleep that Scootaloo hoped she wouldn’t wake up from. Instead, Scootaloo fell asleep again, hugging Rainbow Dash.
There were trotting sounds coming from outside the room when Scootaloo woke up for the second time that morning. She opened her eyes, only to find that she was back in her bed, except Rainbow Dash was sleeping with her outside the covers.
A doctor came through the door with a clipboard. He trotted over to the side of the bed and prodded Rainbow Dash; she moved slightly and turned around to glare at the pony that interrupted her sleep.
“Good morning. Sorry, but I have to wake you up Miss Dash. I need access to Scootaloo,” the doctor said, smiling warmly.”
Rainbow groggily rolled off the bed and trotted back over to the chair she was sleeping in before.
“This will only take a minute. I just need to do a quick check up on her,” said the doctor as Rainbow Dash fell back to sleep.
He placed a hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder and shook her gently; Scootaloo slowly opened her eyes and sat up to face the doctor.
“Sorry to be bothersome, but I need to see how well you are doing. Shall we begin?”
Scootaloo nodded her head slightly and scanned the room, looking for Rainbow Dash.
“Okay, Scootaloo. Can you try to talk for me?”
Scootaloo’s focus snapped back to doctor and she nodded.
She coughed and cleared her throat, readying herself for the attempt. She was trying her best to say something to the doctor. “I… I… ca…” Scootaloo tried to speak, forcing the sounds out. She then took a moment to get her breath back, as she was using all of it to try and talk. She looked back up to the doctor, who smiled kindly and patted her head.
“That’s alright; it sounds like your speech is starting to come back. You don’t need to pass these next two tests, because you already did before I came in.”
Scootaloo’s ears perked up as she raised an eye brow.
“Standing and trotting,” the doctor said without hesitation.
She blushed slightly and her ears flopped down. The doctor knew she had leapt over to Rainbow Dash that morning.
The doctor was checking over the papers on the clipboard, he smiled and placed the clipboard on the bed. “Good news Scootaloo, I think we’re going to try to get you out of here today, you just need someone to care for you.”
Scootaloo smiled and pointed to somewhere behind the doctor. He looked around to see Rainbow Dash staring at the ceiling with lidded eyes.
“We would have to send you back to your parents, I’m afraid. Miss Dash can’t care for you because you have parents for that and I’m sure they wouldn’t like their filly missing for too long.”
Scootaloo’s smile quickly turned into a frown and her ears flopped down flat against her bald head.
“What’s the matter? Don’t you want to be with your parents?”
Scootaloo looked away; she took her arm up and looked at the bandage that was on it. Scootaloo thought it strange that it was obviously not the bandage that she had put on her foreleg before her accident.
“The cut?” The doctor’s eyes widened as though he had come to a sudden, terrifying revelation. “D… Did your parents do that to you?”
Scootaloo’s ears came back up and she shook her head swiftly. The doctor had seen this before, a filly that had her parents do something to the poor filly and black mailed her to not tell.
“Scootaloo, are you sure? No one can hurt you here; no one besides me can hear you. Tell me the truth please. Did your parents do anything to you?”
Scootaloo shook her head again and looked around the room, she pointed at the paper and pencil that was on the table right next to her. The doctor enveloped the items in a light blue aura and floated them over to her.
Scootaloo started to quickly scrawl on the paper. Not long after, she handed the paper over to the doctor, it said: ‘My parents never did anything to me. I did this myself by accident when trying to get something to eat.’ The doctor looked back to the filly; he knew that a smart filly like her wouldn’t lie to him.
He handed back the paper and looked over to Rainbow Dash. He poked her gently in the side with his hoof, startling her enough that she leapt off the chair.
The doctor took a quick step back. “Oh, sorry, Miss Dash. I just needed to ask you a couple of questions, okay?”
Rainbow Dash nodded and sat back on the chair.
“Do you know anything about Scootaloo’s parents? She is reluctant to tell me and I’m worried that they may have harmed her.”
Rainbow shrugged. “Sorry, I don’t know anything either. She never tells anypony anything about her parents.”
Rainbow got up from the chair and trotted over to Scootaloo’s bed.
“Squirt, please tell us about your parents. I know it’s hard, but for your own safety, we really need to know. Please? For me?” Rainbow said, trying to be as calming as she could.
Scootaloo didn’t respond and looked over to Rainbow Dash; she showed care, honesty and loyalty. Scootaloo knew she cared, but this was something that could not be talked about, not yet. Rainbow placed a hoof on Scootaloo’s head and patted her.
“May I please take her home?” Rainbow asked. She wanted to be with Scootaloo as much as she could.
The doctor looked down at his papers and floated a pencil over to Rainbow Dash, who grasped it in her mouth. Two pieces of paper were now floating in front of her as well.
“I need you to sign these, Miss Dash.”
Rainbow happily signed the forms and the doctor placed them back on his clipboard.
“And, Miss Dash. You must contact me if anything happens. I’ll give you my address just in case; I don’t want this filly to get any worse than she already is.” The doctor wrote on a piece of paper and handed it to Rainbow Dash, it had his address and his mail box number on it.
Rainbow nodded.
“I want you to take this form, too. I need Scootaloo’s mother or father to sign it,” the doctor told her.
Rainbow took the form from him and tucked it in her saddlebag, along with the doctor’s information.
“What if her parents can’t? May I take care of her?” she asked.
The doctor placed a hoof on his chin and thought for a moment before answering back, he would have to take as much care as he could with bending the hospitals rules.
“You may, but I want you to contact me first, there will be some... technicalities to deal with.” He looked over to Scootaloo, who was listening intently to the conversation. He put a hoof on her shoulder and smiled. “I’d do anything for a little filly like you, even if it meant losing my job.”
Scootaloo then realised that it was the same doctor from yesterday, the one who told her what happened. Scootaloo came out from under the covers and hugged the doctor and the doctor hugged her back.
“Miss Dash, please do take care of this filly as best you can, even if it means monitoring her and her parents regularly.”
Rainbow Dash nodded and smiled at the doctor, who let go of Scootaloo and began to surround her in a glowing light blue aura.
“Can you carry her? Please be careful,” the doctor said, with a little worry in his voice.
Rainbow nodded and pointed to her back as she opened her wings for Scootaloo to be set down easily. The doctor lifted Scootaloo with his magic and set her onto Rainbow Dash and once the filly had a grip around Rainbow’s neck the glowing aura dissipated.
“I’ll take good care of her. I’ll contact you soon, I’m going to need as much help as I can get.”
Scootaloo pointed to the paper and pencil on the bed, the doctor levitated it over to her.
Once she finished writing, she held it in front of Rainbow Dash for her to read. ‘I thought you and Twilight said that the others were coming?’
Rainbow hesitated before answering Scootaloo. She moved the paper away from her face and pointed towards a calendar. On the calendar was the current date, it said that today was the 26th.
Scootaloo shrugged and kept a grasp around Rainbow’s neck.
“Squirt, your friends did come to visit. You’ve been unconscious since you went to sleep. That was three days ago and I’ve been with you the whole time,” Rainbow told her.
Scootaloo perked up and raised an eyebrow. She decided she would wait to ask about it, as she was already confused and puzzled about what was going on.
“So, doc, do we go now?” Rainbow asked, turning to the doctor.
The doctor nodded and smiled over to Scootaloo, only to see her smile back at him. Rainbow started to carefully walk out of the room slowly, trying to keep Scootaloo steadily on her back. On the way out of the hospital, Rainbow began to talk to Scootaloo to explain what had happened the last three days.
“So, I bet you’re wondering how a filly with severe head trauma is allowed out of a hospital being carried by a pegasus?” inquired Rainbow Dash.
Scootaloo nodded slightly as Rainbow continued to walk down the corridor.
“Well… they did another operation on your head and fixed you up a lot more, you became stable enough to leave the hopital after that. You’re a lot more healed up than you think.”
Rainbow slowly approached the precipice of a flight of stairs that headed down to the reception floor. “Squirt, hold on tight, I don’t want to be responsible for dropping the filly that I love the most.”
She smiled at Scootaloo. The small pegasus returned the gesture by digging her face into Rainbow Dash’s back and tightening her grip around the mare’s neck.
Rainbow started to slowly step down the stairs, being as careful as she could. Not long after, they made it to the reception floor. They walked over to the receptionist near the entrance and rang the bell to get her attention. She spun around in her seat and smiled.
“Can I help you?” the receptionist said
“Yes, you can. Can you sign out Scootaloo? She’s heading home today.” Rainbow smiled nervously, knowing that the receptionist wouldn’t believe that she was getting to take home a brain damaged filly.
The receptionist held a hoof up and pressed a button in the desk that caused a microphone to turn on. “Could someone come down to reception and confirm something for me?”
She pressed the button again and started to talk to Rainbow Dash. “I’m sorry, I just can’t let you go out of here with that filly, she may be stable, but she needs care.”
Rainbow’s smile grew a bit larger as she nodded. Although it was expected, she was visibly shaken by this delay.
“I understand, it does seem a bit hard to believe doesn’t it?” said Rainbow with an uneasy chuckle.
The receptionist raised an eyebrow and returned to examining some paperwork she had on her desk. A doctor came up to the receptionist and stared at the two pegasi in front of the desk. The nurse whispered something into his ear and he nodded slightly.
“If I am correct, you are Rainbow Dash?” asked the doctor.
Rainbow nodded with the same nervous smile. The doctor placed a hoof on his chin and nodded slightly.
“Yes, she has been permitted to take this filly home, but with one condition. She must monitor this filly as much as possible and if I’m not mistaken, you have agreed to do so?” he asked.
Rainbow nodded again, the nervous energy now making way for overwhelming relief.
The receptionist took a pen and crossed Scootaloo’s name out on the list, along with writing down some notes down on a paper. “Alright, Miss Dash, you are free to go with Scootaloo. Just be very careful with her, I think you know we can trust you with her, but we don’t want to be proven wrong.”
Rainbow nodded and smiled at Scootaloo. “Don’t worry… Nurse Redheart?”
Redheart nodded and let out a dejected sigh.
“You’re a receptionist now? I thought you were a nurse.”
Miss Redheart weakly smiled and pointed over to a sign on the wall that said, ‘Temporary reception exchange, all available nurses fill in when they can.’ Rainbow raised an eyebrow and looked at Miss Redheart.
“I’m only here for a short time… I’m still a nurse. It’s just that the hospital is going through some problems lately that require some of us to fill in for our original receptionist.”
Rainbow nodded and placed a hoof on her chin, contemplating what sort of problem would require such a thing.
“Don’t worry; it’s nothing serious, just some small management issues. You should get that filly home; she’s going to need plenty of rest.”
Rainbow nodded a final time before trotting out the entrance door.
Scootaloo was trying to talk again, slowly regaining some syllables and sounds needed to string together words. After five minutes of walking, Scootaloo took a deep breath and tried as hard as she could to say something to Rainbow Dash.
“I… I… lo…ve... you… Dashie.”
awwwwww!
This is so cute! Awesome story keep it up!
Scoots is best pony
d'awwwww.......
who wants to go on a manhunt for the bastard who disliked this?
awwwwwww
648727 ME! *gets shotgun* Okay ready
Looks like everyone loves the sweet light hearted care that I put in, I'll try to keep it that way without altering it too much.
~~~ MrDynasty
649023 yaaaay i liekz ur style
649359 Thanks, I like to be as close to my viewers as possible. Also, I don't call them fans, because that's bragging slightly
~~~ MrDynasty
My eyes got misty at the last sentence.
great chapter! keep up the good work!
649506 Manly tears were shed today...
~~~ MrDynasty
AWWWWWWW!!!!
I think I feel a sugar rush coming on...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/232/127/833.png
I KNEW IT!
WOOT WOOT WOOT! HAHAHAAHAHAHAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYY IM SO FUCKING SMART :D
Anyway. Scootaloo the Lesbian?
Nothing wrong with that, just never seen that.
I THINK!
Maybe she just loves her. <3.
653136 Everything you think leads to something sexual or stuff like that. Love can mean more than relationships and physical stuff. You love your family, but you don't kiss/hug them like you do with a girlfriend/boyfriend. Why? Because love can mean more than just social relationships that can bond two people together. I know I never put in spoilers, but Scootaloo does NOT love Rainbow in that way.
~~~ MrDynasty
(Just thought I'd address that)
653144
Um... From your other story. I was only joking.
Just because we don't talk that much does not mean i am all like. (OHHHHHH YEAH SEX IS IN DA AIR BICHESBHUG AVP0W3I).
And, i did not say anything that could come towards sex. Not even any of the words could come to a (If you know what I mean) FACE!.
It would be still cute though if Scootaloo loved Dash in that way.
Then Dash cheated... A big Mix up happens.
ANYWAY, Great chapter.
I have removed my first comment because of... well. FIM Fiction's Facebook statuses.
653295 Actually no, I've never had any sort of injury at all. Haven't broken a bone in my life. So, yeah, I guess I just have a writing gift as most people say.
(Hope your okay, if not, don't worry, you'le get better. I know it )
~~~ MrDynasty
679395 Fuuuuuuuuu...... Your so right I never noticed that myself, I'm an idiot. But yeah, if I changed it now it would lose some of it's drama and also confuse the people who already read it. So, I'm stuck at a ledge here my friend. Also, with the book thing, I expected people to just forget about it or think that she put it down along side the bandages on her wings. What I could do is make it so she bandaged one of her wings and not her entire under belly. Well, it's all the experience of a writer aint it?
I wonder if I should keep it at it's orignal state instead of fixing my grief.
~~~ MrDynasty
P.S - You are the first person to notice these, even I didn't. I fooled myself with my own writing
679449 Just finished reading "I Dream to Fly" and I love it. The plot-line is great and the story is well told, but (there's always a but, nothing against you, just trying to help) there are a few problems. Three things stand out, that if fixed, could make this story one of the best out there.
As Rainbow Bash pointed out, the inconsistency with the bandages in the first three chapters is the glaringly obvious issue. I think there were a couple others (inconsistencies) but I would have to re-read the story to find them again, so they're obviously not that bad.
The spacing between paragraphs and paragraph/dialogue separations is bad. Sorry to be blunt, but this one really bugged me.
My only other issue is that a lot of the dialogue and descriptive text seems very stiff and forced, maybe over-thought? For me it makes the flow of the story somewhat clumsy and difficult to read.
Now the good news! I think this can all be fixed after the fact. The bandage problem may be a little tricky and would require a few fairly major edits across several chapters but I believe this story-line inconsistency can be repaired without affecting the overall feel of that part of the story or causing problems for anyone that has already read it. After all, you're not changing the story itself, just helping it flow a bit more smoothly.
The spacing and separations is just a matter of formatting. That's the easy part.
As for the structure of the rest of it, some minor word swaps and very slight changes to descriptors and dialogue would do this story a world of good.
If you would like, I would be happy to help you with editing, I already have a couple ideas of how to fix the inconsistency issue and the rest would be pretty easy to do with a couple of shake-downs through the text.
Wow, this got long, but I really enjoyed this story and I think it can be a lot more than it is now. Let me know if you would like me to work my editing magic and I'll give it a shot you. I wouldn't even feel bad if you didn't use my edits and told me my edits suck after I got done.
Again, I'm not trying to come down on you or be nit-picky (well, maybe a little nit-picky), just really want to help.