Pranks for Nothing
"They're both so lovely," Fluttershy murmured, looking back and forth between the two oranges she'd picked out.
Mr. Tangelo's sigh made her ears fold. "I got other customers, miss."
The whole marketplace seemed to grow louder around her, Fluttershy suddenly aware of the two ponies waiting in line for their chance at Mr. Tangelo's produce. "You're right. I'm sorry." She slipped to the side and peered out from behind her mane at her fellow shoppers. "You folks go ahead."
Stepping forward with a roll of her eyes, the first mare tossed a bit onto the fruit stand's counter and grabbed the first of Fluttershy's oranges. The second mare did the same to the second orange, and Fluttershy could only blink as Mr. Tangelo scraped the coins across the rough wood and into his cash drawer with another sigh. "Don't worry, miss," he said. "I got plentya oranges."
"Thank you, Mr. Tangelo." Fluttershy took the third-best of the oranges in her teeth, tucked it into her saddlebag, and set a bit on the counter. Giving him a smile, she turned to go and felt a little surprised that she wasn't shaking more than she was. But then Fluttershy had started surprising herself a lot in the last moon or so—making her first new friends in longer than she could remember, for one thing, and then helping those new friends when Nightmare Moon had turned out to be both real and Princess Celestia's long-lost sister.
Even more surprising, just two days ago in this very marketplace after Rainbow Dash's griffon friend had roared at her, yes, Fluttershy had burst into tears, sprinted home, and hidden under her bed. But she'd only stayed there an hour or so before crawling downstairs to have lunch. And when Pinkie Pie had come knocking at her door that afternoon with an invitation to a party, not only had Fluttershy accepted and gone, but she hadn't snuck away after discovering that the guest of honor was the very same griffon who'd frightened her so badly.
Just thinking about it now made her dizzy. But with her friends around her at Sugarcube Corner, she'd felt, well, safe, something that happened to her so rarely, she'd barely recognized—
"—the best book ever!" Rainbow Dash's voice echoed around the market.
At least, it sounded like Rainbow Dash. But...talking about a book?
"Oh, I agree, darling." And that was Rarity, the unicorn Fluttershy had spent the last two Friday afternoons with at the Ponyville spa, the two most wonderful days of her life so far. "I admit, I had my doubts with that garish cover. And the title? Last Call? It tells you next to nothing about what sort of novel to expect."
Peering between the rows of stalls, Fluttershy could see most of her new friends now strolling along the edge of the town square, Applejack and Pinkie Pie grinning as Rainbow Dash shot a glare at Rarity. "But you liked it, right?" Rainbow asked.
"As I said." Rarity gave a nod. "The adventure storyline was interesting enough, but the romance between Dahlia and Morning Star won me over completely."
Applejack was nodding, too. "Can't say I care much for mosta them running around and saving the world stories." She cocked her head. "After you done it in real life, reading about it kinda loses its kick."
"But?" Rainbow turned her glare in Applejack's direction.
"No question, RD." Applejack crooked a hoof at her. "Last Call's a hayride from start to finish."
"I'll say!" Pinkie reared onto her hind legs. "And when the Spider King has them all dancing like puppets in the strands of his fiendish web? That was great!"
Rainbow ratcheted her glare around to Pinkie. "Spider King?"
"Oh, wait." Pinkie dropped back to all fours. "That was in the kitchen at the bakery last night." She puffed out a breath. "You're right, Applejack: that book's way too much like real life!"
The four of them went around the corner then, and Fluttershy felt her face heat up. She hated eavesdropping on ponies, but she hated interrupting them when they were talking even more. Yes, she was supposed to be friends with these ponies now, but would they be more upset if they discovered she hadn't gone over to say 'Hi,' or if they discovered she'd overheard what they were talking about?
It'd probably be best if she pretended she hadn't noticed them. With a nod of her own, she started out of the market in the opposite direction just to be safe. She had two more chores to take care of this morning, then she could get back to her cottage for lunch and relax the rest of the day taking care of her animal friends.
"Last Call," somepony said off to her right, and she saw Lyra and Bon Bon walking along, Lyra with a big grin on her face. "It's supposed to be terrific!"
"Last Call," somepony else said off to her left, Daisy talking with Roseluck and Lily. "It's been getting nothing but rave reviews!"
"Last Call?" On the sidewalk outside his shop, Time Turner was wrinkling his forehead at Derpy. "Can't say I'm familiar with it."
Derpy leaped into the air, her wings frantically flapping, her front legs waving up and down. "Everypony's talking about it!"
Heading for the plant nursery under the muggy, overcast sky, Fluttershy heard two more ponies discussing Last Call, and as she walked from the nursery toward the Golden Oaks Library with the snap dragon seeds carefully stowed in her saddlebags, another two mentions of the title tickled her ears.
But she didn't let herself pay too much attention. It was eavesdropping, after all. And besides, when it came to books, she much preferred gardening manuals and collections of recipes. They tended to be a lot less scary than all those books about ponies running around, talking to each other and doing things.
Shuddering, she stepped through the front door of the library tree. Inside, Twilight was standing at a desk, open books piled everywhere. Her horn glowed as she leafed through them, a quill and blank piece of parchment floating beside her. So Fluttershy moved as quietly as she could to the book return box, took 101 Dinners Made With Carrots from her saddlebag, slid the book gently through the slot—
And the box rattled and clattered like she'd tossed in a bag of marbles instead. Fluttershy pulled back into her mane, but it was too late: Twilight's head snapped up from her catalogs, the purple light around her horn puffing out like a candle and dropping her quill to the floor with a tiny thunk. "Oh! Hello, Fluttershy! I didn't hear you come in."
"Umm..." Twilight didn't sound mad, but Fluttershy had learned over the years that apologizing was always the right choice. "I'm sorry. It's just that you looked busy, and I didn't want to interrupt."
"This?" Shaking her head, Twilight rubbed the base of her horn. "I could use a little interruption from this about now...."
Every one of Fluttershy's care-giving instincts prickled inside her, and she took a step forward. "Is something wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Oh, it's just—" Another shake of her head, and Twilight's horn ignited once more to pluck her quill pen from the floor. "All morning, I've had ponies coming in asking about this adventure novel, Last Call! But not only have I never heard of it before, it's not listed in Books in Print, and none of the publishing houses have it among their upcoming releases, either!" She tapped a hoof against one of the catalogs. "I can't understand it!"
Fluttershy's stomach clenched. "Last Call?"
"Yes!" Twilight thumped the catalog a little harder. "No one can tell me the author's name or the publisher, but they all say they've heard nothing but good things about it! Better than the Daring Do series, a couple of them even said! And I can't find a single trace of it anywhere!"
The frustration in her new friend's voice pulled at Fluttershy, but, well, could she tell Twilight what she'd heard? Or rather, what she'd overheard, listening in on all those conversations that she hadn't been a part of?
Still, the first one had involved their other friends, and they hadn't been whispering or anything. And Twilight really did look unhappy. So, taking a breath, Fluttershy said, "I heard Rainbow Dash talking with Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie about the book in the market earlier today. It sounded like they'd all read it, so maybe one of them has a copy she can lend you."
Little stars burst from Twilight's eyes. "Fluttershy! Thank you! That's just what I needed to know!" Galloping for the door, she called out, "Spike? Watch the desk, will you? I'll be back in a few minutes!"
"Huh?" Spike peered from behind one of the big bookshelves, a feather duster in his claws. "Oh, hi, Fluttershy. What did Twilight just say?"
"She—" Fluttershy looked from the little dragon to the door and back again. That familiar frazzled feeling was coming over her, the feeling she got when everything was just moving too quickly. "She said she'd be back soon and asked if you could watch the desk."
"Hmmph!" Spike tucked the feather duster under one arm, crossed the reading area to the front desk, and clambered up onto the stool behind it. "If she heard the ice cream wagon, she'd better bring me something..."
Fluttershy flashed him her best apology smile and almost ran back outside. The air just seemed too thick as she pulled it into her lungs, but at least she'd finished her list of things to do. Hurrying across town, she didn't take a relaxed breath till she was crossing the bridge on the other side of Ponyville, her cottage waiting all quiet and friendly for her beside the stream.
Inside, she lay with her face pressed into a sofa cushion till she wan't panting nearly so much. Then she got up, made herself a lovely little hay and mustard sandwich, split the orange in half to share later with Angel Bunny, and sat with her eyes closed on her sofa for another forty-five minutes.
By then she was starting to feel like herself again. So she stood, ready to get back to work—yes, it was the height of summer, but she always liked to get an early start knitting caps for those birds who didn't fly south for the winter—and was walking across to her sewing basket when a whoosh reached her ears. Then the front door was blasting open and slamming shut, Rainbow Dash leaning against it and holding it closed. "Hey, Shy," she said. "Can I lay low here a couple hours?"
"Oh, dear." Part of Fluttershy wanted to race upstairs for her usual cowering spot, but, she couldn't help noticing, that part was smaller now than it had been even a few days ago. She changed course, though, and started for the kitchen to get a can of the soda pop she'd started keeping in the refrigerator now that Rainbow had fallen back into her life. "Is something wrong?"
"What? No!" Flapping over to the table, Rainbow poked a hoof at the half an orange; Fluttershy hurried to put the can of pop down in front of her before she could eat Angel's snack. "I just need for Twilight not to find me till tomorrow."
"Twilight?" Fluttershy didn't hear anything angry or distressed in Rainbow's voice: if anything, she sounded easy and relaxed. So maybe— "Are you playing hide-n-seek?"
"Kinda." Her hoofs wrapping around the can, Rainbow took a great big swig and smacked her lips. "I had this awesome idea for a prank to pull on her, see, and with the other girls helping me out, we'll have the whole town in on it by tonight!" She leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. "It's a book thing, see, since Twilight's the new librarian! It's gonna be epic!"
"Book?" Fluttershy couldn't help gasping as all the pieces fell together in her head. "Last Call. The book you were talking about in the market earlier, the one Twilight said she couldn't find anywhere..."
"What?" Rainbow's eyes went wide. "How did you—? I mean, the way Gilda yelled at you, I figured you'd be holed up in here the resta the week!"
Fluttershy's stomach tightened. "I...I had some errands to run, and I...I went out this morning...."
With a groan, Rainbow slumped face-first onto the table. "Then you told Twilight, and that's why she started looking for us."
"Rainbow?" Fluttershy's stomach tightened even further. "I...I don't understand."
"OK." Rainbow straightened. "This'll still work." She planted a hoof on the table and fixed a serious gaze on Fluttershy. "You just need to tell Twilight you've never even heard of any book called Last Call if she asks you tomorrow."
The tightness was spreading to Fluttershy's chest. "You want me to lie? To Twilight?"
"Not lie." Rainbow brushed at her unruly mane. "It's a gag. A prank. You know, fun? You've heard of 'fun' before, right?"
Her face going hot, Fluttershy couldn't help pulling back into her own mane. "Oh, fewmets," she heard Rainbow say; wings fluttered, and hoofs took the sides of her head, turned her till she was facing Rainbow there beside her, her friend's annoyance so strong, it was practically a scent. "Look, Shy, this isn't a big thing. You telling Twilight today just speeds it up a little. 'Cause when Twilight asked Applejack, Applejack stuck to the plan and told her—"
"Applejack?" Fluttershy wanted to grab Rainbow Dash the way Rainbow was grabbing her. But she didn't, of course.
"Yes. Applejack." The smile that pulled at Rainbow's mouth looked painted on. "And that proves it's not a lie, see? It's a practical joke. We're setting Twilight up to look for this book that doesn't exist, then starting tomorrow, we're all gonna pretend we don't know what she's talking about when she mentions it."
"But...why?"
The sigh Rainbow heaved then seemed to come all the way up from her hoofs. "You remember that word I used a minute ago? Begins with 'f'? Has three letters?"
Fluttershy hadn't thought her face could get any hotter. "I'm sorry, Rainbow," she said, letting her mane drape down in front of her again. "I...I always seem to spoil other ponies' fun, even when I don't know I'm doing it."
"Yeah, well, it's OK, Shy." The sour stink of irritation lessened in Fluttershy's nostrils. "Just play along, and everything'll be fine." Fluttershy heard Rainbow shuffle back around to the other side of the table, heard the soda can crinkle when she grabbed it, heard the glug-glug-glug as she drained it dry. "Thanks for the pop, but if you've talked to Twilight, this prob'bly isn't the best place for me to hide out." A feathery flap made Fluttershy peek through her bangs, and she saw Rainbow squinting at the crack between the upper and lower halves of the front door. "Just remember," Rainbow went on. "Tomorrow, you don't know one single thing about Last Call and you never have. Got it?"
Swallowing, Fluttershy managed to squeak, "Got it."
"Thanks, Shy. You're the best." And quicker than a bunny, Rainbow slipped outside, closing the door behind herself.
After a few moments, Fluttershy got up, set Rainbow's empty soda can into the recycling bin, separated Angel's orange into its individual slices and set them on a plate for when he came in later, then went upstairs to bed.
She didn't sleep, of course—it was barely past lunchtime. But she'd had a lot of experience not thinking about things that she didn't want to think about, and she used that set of skills now, going over her plans for the snap dragon seeds, putting together carrot-based menus for the next several weeks, knitting a few winter caps for her avian friends, and doing a little work on some of the songs she had constantly floating around in her head.
By the time the sun went down, her knees were feeling firm enough to let her creep downstairs and fix supper for the various animals who needed it. A nice, long bath got her more or less relaxed, and she fell asleep before Princess Luna's moon had risen high enough to shine in her window.
Sunup found her already awake as usual, and preparing all the different breakfasts took her well into the morning while letting her keep her thoughts far, far away from everything that had happened yesterday. And if she stayed inside, she wouldn't likely have to—
The knocking that rattled the front door then wasn't frantic, but it was rapid and heavy enough to make Fluttershy wince. Twilight's voice followed, of course, calling, "Fluttershy? Are you home?"
Three thoughts popped into Fluttershy's head at pretty much the same time: leap into the pots and pans cupboard to hide; stand perfectly still and wait for Twilight to go away; and sneak out the back door to spend the day in the woods.
But the first would be too loud and the second too uncertain: what if Twilight kept on knocking? She turned, then, grabbed the knob to the back door, pulled it open soundlessly to make a flying break for the woods—
And there was Twilight, trotting around the side of the house. "Fluttershy!" She flashed a slightly shaky grin. "Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you had a minute?" Twilight's brow wrinkled. "Are you feeling OK? You look a little—"
"Frazzled?" Fluttershy asked before she could stop herself. She wanted to clap her hoofs over her mouth, but instead, thinking quickly, she reached out and grabbed a bowl of birdseed from the counter by the door. "I'm just getting breakfast ready for my little animal friends!" she announced, wincing some more at the way the words came out as if she were shouting through a loudspeaker.
The confusion in Twilight's face was turning to concern. "Is something wrong, Fluttershy?"
So many answers tumbled around the echoing space below her ears, but Fluttershy pushed them aside. "I'm sorry, Twilight," she said, "but I'm not feeling well. I haven't been since yesterday, and I'm thinking I might just go back to bed when I'm done here."
A nearly genuine smile pulled at Twilight's muzzle. "I'm feeling a little odd myself, so I won't keep you. I was wondering, though—" The little bit of white came back to the rim around Twilight's eyes. "When you stopped by the library yesterday, do you...do you remember what we talked about?"
Again, everything seemed to be happening at once inside Fluttershy's head, but this time, it all came down to two options: Yes and No flopping and overlapping like semi-transparent fish whirling and swirling through her.
"Fluttershy?" Twilight had her head cocked, unease once more filling her expression.
And because it was always the right answer— "I'm sorry, Twilight," she repeated. "Yesterday's mostly just a blur, and I...I really think I ought to be getting to bed."
Twilight sighed, her ears drooping. "OK, Fluttershy. Thanks. I hope you feel better soon."
"You, too." Fluttershy set the bowl of birdseed outside and closed the door as Twilight turned away, everything about her droopy now.
"Because of me," Fluttershy whispered, touching a hoof to the curtain of the little window in the back door. "Because of me."
Huddled under her blankets the rest of the morning, she found it harder and harder not to think about the things she didn't want to think about. Lunchtime finally crept around, but neither her growling stomach nor Angel Bunny and several of her squirrel friends peering in the bedroom door seemed like enough of a reason to actually get up.
It wasn't as if she'd lied to Twilight—not really—but she couldn't help remembering all the times back in flight school when the barely muffled giggles had been aimed at her, every other pony a part of whatever joke they were playing. And she couldn't help remembering the way she'd silently vowed each and every time after she'd fallen for one of their pranks that she would never make anypony feel as bad as she always did.
And even worse? None of those ponies had really been her friends. But now, some of her friends were ganging up on another of her friends and trying to get the whole town to go along with it! Whichever way Fluttershy looked, all she could see was herself disappointing one or another of these ponies who had come to mean so much to her in so short a period of—
Tapping at her window startled her, and a quick look showed Rainbow Dash hovering outside. "Shy? You OK? Twilight said you were sick."
"No!" Something snapped inside her, and she leaped for the window on the other side of the room, heaved the sash up, and launched herself outside. "I won't! I won't!"
"Shy?" she heard Rainbow ask behind her.
"Stay away!" Flapping like she'd never flapped before, Fluttershy fled, arched over the woods, and immediately got slapped sideways by a downdraft curling around the cloudy noontime sky. It tumbled her back toward the treetops, crashed her through the leaves, and she splashed right into a big tub of apple sauce stewing there.
"Land sakes!" Wiping her eyes, Fluttershy looked up to see Applejack looking back, her front hoofs hooked over the edge of the vat. "What in tarnation—? You OK, Fluttershy?"
"No!" Leaping again, spraying apple sauce in every direction, Fluttershy couldn't keep from hearing those muffled giggles. "Stay away! Stay away!" Half-blind, more falling through the air than flying, she plunged onward, dodging the blurry shapes that came rushing at her till something big and brown and pink loomed ahead too large and too quickly. She managed to pull up enough so that she just smacked into it instead of slamming into it; she bounced off and found herself sitting in a heap on a sidewalk.
"Gracious!" came a familiar voice.
"Wowie zowie!" came another, and sure enough, Rarity and Pinkie Pie stood blinking at her from the stairs in front of Sugarcube Corner. "Do it again!" Pinkie shouted, hopping up and down. "Do it again!"
"Pinkie Pie!" Rarity gave her a horrified look, then rushed down the steps, Fluttershy cringing away. "Are you hurt, Fluttershy? What happened? Is something—?"
"No!" Not quite sure she still had all the pieces she'd started with, Fluttershy nonetheless had to leap for the sky again, those little giggles jabbing into her as sharp as pins. "Stay away! Stay away!" The whole town was in on it, Rainbow had said, and Fluttershy couldn't draw a breath without the stench of those giggles gagging her. The whole town, and—
No. Not the whole town. Banking as well as she could, Fluttershy aimed for the shimmering beacon of Golden Oaks Library. But with the air feeling like apple sauce oozing around her feathers, she tumbled rather than flew through the front door and rolled ears over fetlocks across the floor to thump against the foot of the check-out desk.
A moment, and both Twilight and Spike peered over the edge. "Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.
Then hoofbeats and voices were filling the room, the rest of their friends clattering in with lots of shouts and words: "—went crazy!" "—smack dab into the apple sauce!" "—might've broken her neck!" and "—flat as a pancake!" were some of the ones Fluttershy could make out.
Cool and gentle hoofs touched her forehead, and she looked out from behind her mane at Twilight. "She doesn't have a fever, but she said she wasn't feeling well when I stopped by earlier."
Rainbow's face appeared over Twilight's shoulder. "Shy? You OK?" she asked, her rough voice cracking.
Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut. "Stay away..." she managed to push out between her clenched teeth.
Everything around her went silent, and when Fluttershy cracked an eyelid, she saw Rainbow staring back with her mouth hanging open. "Shy? You...you want me to go away?"
Her lungs frozen, Fluttershy pulled her eyes shut again and nodded.
More silence fell heavy and thick until a clearing of throat pushed through it. "Fluttershy?" Twilight asked gently. "Did Rainbow do something you didn't like?"
The words made Fluttershy thaw enough to open her eyes and say, "All of them did..."
Twilight wore an oddly blank expression as she turned to the whole gaping group. "Dash? Any idea what you girls might've done to upset Fluttershy so badly?"
Rainbow's jaw snapped shut. "No!" she shouted. "I mean, it's just—!" Her face clouded up, and she waved her front hoofs. "Ah, fewmets, Fluttershy! Why do you gotta be such a—!"
"Dash!" Rarity stomped a hoof. "Did you involve Fluttershy in all this?"
"Hey!" Rainbow spun, her wings flaring. "It's not my fault she came into town yesterday!"
"Oh, Dashie, Dashie, Dashie." Pinkie shook her head and clicked her tongue. "This is why pranks and Fluttershy don't mix. She can't handle 'em from either side: getting or giving."
Applejack's mouth went sideways. "You mean she's got all bent outta shape 'cause of the—?"
"Prank?" The grin that curled Twilight's snout seemed to show every one of her teeth. "This is about Last Call, isn't it?"
Her front hoofs clenching, Rainbow gave a groan and dropped to her knees. "It woulda been perfect! It woulda been epic!"
Expecting Twilight to start shouting, Fluttershy cringed against the library counter. But Twilight's grin was growing wider and happier. "Did you get the whole town in on it?"
Blowing out a big breath, Rainbow turned to face Twilight. "Pretty much. I wanted to do something with a library theme, y'know? To welcome you to Ponyville."
And then...Twilight laughed. A real, long, honest-to-everything laugh: she even clapped her front hoofs together, Fluttershy staring to see it. "Oh, Dash, that's great! I've read several studies that discuss the pranks that friends play on one another, so this is yet another item I can cross off my list!" She aimed a hoof at Rainbow. "I'm gonna get you back, of course, but, I mean, wow! The effort you all must've put in!"
"Yeah." Rainbow snapped her glare over to Fluttershy so sharply, Fluttershy was sure she could feel it part her mane. "Y'see? She loves it!" She pointed a shaking hoof at Twilight. "That's how normal ponies deal with pranks! Normal ponies don't get all crazy and crash into buildings and tell their best friends in the whole world to go away!"
"Friends?" The word squeaked out of Fluttershy before she could stop it, and she couldn't keep the rest of them inside after that: "Friends with you, Rainbow, or friends with you, Twilight? 'Cause how can I be both when you're fighting like this?"
Rainbow leaped into a hover, her hoofs flailing. "We're not fighting! We're just—" She sputtered some more, then whisked across the room to land beside Twilight. "Tell her! Tell her this is all OK!"
The silence that followed made Fluttershy shiver more than any shouting could've, and Dash's eyes went wider and wider as she stared at Twilight. "Well," Twilight said after a long stretch of seconds, "you're not wrong, Dash."
Dash pumped a hoof. "Yes!"
"But," Twilight went on, "Fluttershy's not wrong, either."
"What?" Rainbow's wings shot open again. "She totally overreacted! How can you say—?"
"Dash!" Rarity and Applejack both said it at the same time, Rarity giving another little stomp.
The sharpness in their voices seemed to knock Rainbow back onto her hooves. "Fine!" Sitting, she folded her front legs across her chest. "Go on and tell me how we can both be right, then!"
Twilight shrugged. "I'm certainly no expert in friendship. I mean, with maybe three exceptions, every friend I've ever had in my entire life is in this room right now. But it's like—" Her brow wrinkled, then went smooth again when she smiled. "Pinkie Pie? How many varieties of donuts do you serve at Sugarcube Corner?"
"Fifty-eight," Pinkie answered promptly. "I'm counting things like glazed and chocolate-covered separately even though they start with the same basic donut 'cause the outcome is so deliciously different." She licked her lips, and Fluttershy felt her stomach rumble at her missed breakfast and lunch.
"Exactly." Twilight looked back and forth between Rainbow and Fluttershy. "Some ponies like the glazed, some ponies like the chocolate, and some ponies don't like donuts at all."
Pinkie's gasped. "You take that back!"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Pinkie—"
"All right!" Pinkie buried her face in her hoofs. "It's true! It's too horribobble to think about, but yes! Some ponies don't like donuts!"
Twilight nodded. "And some ponies don't like pranks." Her gentle smile started melting the rest of the cold inside Fluttershy. "So while I think we can all agree that Fluttershy's reaction was a little over-the-top, well, I have to wonder, Dash, with the massive amount of planning you must've put into this, why didn't you even let Fluttershy know it was happening?"
"'Cause she's Fluttershy!" Rainbow waved a hoof. "You can't spring anything bigger than a squirting flower on her after all the garbage those jerks at flight school put her through! Ev'rypony—" Her words cut off, and her eyes went wide again. "Ev'rypony knows that," she finished in a much quieter voice.
Things stayed quiet then till Rainbow puffed a breath through her lips. "Yeah, OK, I'm sorry, Shy. I really didn't think you'd be coming into town, but, yeah, I prob'bly shoulda told you what we were doing so you wouldn't wander into the middle of it like you did."
"Well!" Rarity beamed. "Contrition from our Rainbow Dash?" She nudged Twilight with an elbow. "And you said you weren't an expert on friendship!"
That got a giggle from Pinkie and a chuckle from Applejack, and Fluttershy felt a smile tug at her snout for the first time in what seemed like days.
"Spike?" Twilight turned to the little dragon still sitting behind the library's front desk. "Would you please take a letter?"
"Sure thing!" Pulling open a drawer, Spike fished out a quill and a sheet of parchment.
"Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight began.
But Fluttershy didn't want to eavesdrop. So instead of listening, she reached out to touch her oldest friend's slumping shoulder. "Thank you, Rainbow. I...I wish all the time that I could be a normal pony, but I just— I don't— I can't manage to—" She stopped, took a breath, and let her gaze move around the circle of her new friends. "So I'm sorry, too, to all of you."
Again, it proved to be the right thing to say: suddenly they were all hugging her and she was hugging them, Twilight even leaving off her dictation to join in. "Don't ever change, Shy," Rainbow whispered into her ear. "Ever."
"As long as you don't, either," she whispered back.
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This was such a wonderful story on so many levels! Each of your descriptions of Fluttershy were spot on for her personality and I really enjoyed how you showed her agonizing over the whole affair. The ending was just perfect....Rainbow realizing her missteps on her own accord and Twilight helping her see the situation. This was, IMHO, a perfect friendship lesson; so well told that I could feel the emotion and hear their voices...that is how I know it was good. Well done!
Loved this, you captured the characters perfectly.
The way you portray Fluttershy's anxiety in this is great.
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Thanks, folks!
Fluttershy and I share so many traits. it's always a pleasure to slice into my personal casserole of anxieties and serve them up as hers.
5651615 I was well earned praise.
I enjoyed this version much more than the one in the writeoff. I think the extra exposition at the start, and the transition scene between Twilight visiting and Fluttershy freaking out, helped to frame Fluttershy's reaction in a way that made it much more believable, which was my main qualm with the writeoff version. The various trims and polishing up also made it a much smoother read.
However, there were several places where your sentences were weirdly phrased, such as:
Twilight's smile, instead of starting to melt away the cold inside Fluttershy, is starting the rest of the the cold. After a moment's thought, it's clear what you're saying, but it is still a bit of an immersion breaker.
There are also a fair few redundant words in there. Like, rich language, which revels in rhythm as much as content, seems to be part of your style, but even so there were a few places where I think your writing could be trimmed.
". . . tumbled back towards the treetops . . ." can be revised to ". . . tumbled towards the treetops . . ." for example.
But those are mostly little nitpicks rather than glaring errors.
So yeah, I enjoyed it a lot more than I did the writeoff version. The character voices were great, the writing captivating, and the story sweet and neat without being heavy-handed when it came to the growth/moral. Great stuff.
Favourite line:
Just for that lovely bit of alliteration.
Wow, this was so wonderful. Being rather introverted myself, I can totally understand Fluttershy's point of view in this. The only thing is, I'm not sure Twilight would have been so accepting of this prank. With how confused she must have felt, I think she'd be more likely to get mad at Dash and the others. Well, for a litttle while anyway, she'd probably see the humor in it after a bit and forgive them, but still, her reaction seemed a bit too calm for Twilight.
The cover art of this story scares me
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I'm happier with it, too:
Having it take place during Season One I think really helps. That melting line was my archnemesis all day yesterday, and I'm tempted to leave it all convoluted as a lesson to my future self. But I'll probably get in and fix it in a minute...
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A good point:
Twilight should be happy about it because she's read in several books that friends often pull pranks on each other. I'll get in and add this when I'm fixing the line mentioned above.
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It's actually:
On the back cover of the Season Four DVD collection, and as soon as I saw it, I knew it would be perfect for this story. But I couldn't figure out which episode it was from! I thought maybe "Trade Ya," but it wasn't there, so then I tried "Princess Twilight" and "Twilight's Kingdom," but it wasn't in any of those. Skimming through the collection of Fluttershy images on the MLP Wikia, I didn't see it, either. Finally, I put out a call for help on the Writeoff Group messageboard, and Thornwing found it in the epilogue of "Bats." The original screenshot has Applejack over on Dash's other side, so a bit of judicious editing, and there we were!
Mike
> [this story] owes a special thank you to Bad Horse for the inspiration
That's one way of putting it.
This was one of my high scorers in the Writeoff, though, and I look forward to reading the changes.
565313 Still, scary.
To quote Pinkie
I just read this (been a while since I read any of your stuff! Been a bit busy) and I totally forgot how deep your stories get emotionally. Another story well done!
5653133 I just re-read that section, nice change. It works much better now. I still think there should have been a little anger on Twilight's part but with her focusing on the positive points of the prank, it makes sense that she isn't angry, well it makes sense now anyway.
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Thanks!
As some in the Writeoff Association know, this one was inspired by true events. They are, however, events about which I have sworn never to speak, so I had to write about them instead!
Mike
I wonder how New Fluttershy would have handled things
Now that's just perfect! Thanks :-)
I like this.
Congratulations! Your story has been featured on Equestria Daily!
I just realized that I have not seen NEARLY enough Season 1 stories. So much had to happen off screen that we never saw.
That was so adorable, I just melted a little inside.
That was awesome. The amount of d'awww that story has should be illegal. I loved the story, the message and the emotions. The characters l were spot on as well.
Excellent job
A very good look at Fluttershy before her development throughout the show. Me gusta.
Possibly even better, though, is Rainbow getting a bit of her development right here.
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Painfully.
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Thanks, folks!
When I wrote the original version of this story for the Writeoff, I set it after the Season Four closing, but that not only made Fluttershy way too timid, it took the revelation away from Rainbow and had Princess Twilight announcing the moral of the story. I'm much happier with the story this way.
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With more:
Rhyming couplets would be my guess...
Mike
This is how you do S1 Fluttershy.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
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Thanks!
I find it a little disconcerting that Fluttershy has grown more in four years than I've grown in forty, but that's always been the difference between reality and fiction. Fiction hasta make sense...
Mike
That was as good as I'd expect one of your stories to be, Bunny. Felt like it could be an episode of the show, maybe a part two to Brush Off.
I've had this opened in my browser forever, and I finally got around to reading it! I'm certainly glad I did, too. It was very well done, Baal, and as I'm sure many have already said, very show-like as well. I must admit that part of me wanted to see Twilight upset at the prank, but I must concede your ending was the more fair one, and better portrayed the moral. It's not that pranks are wrong, it's just to who and how you do it that counts.
Loved all the humor with Fluttershy too. "She only stayed under her bed for a couple of hours"--only with Fluttershy could that be a good thing. Such improvement!
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I've never been one:
For pranks myself. The closest I ever came when I was growing up was on April Fool's Day. I would point at someone, gasp theatrically, and announce in as phony a voice as possible, "Look out! There's a horrible bug on your shoulder!"
Mike
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Ha! Once when I was little and driving with my dad I suddenly pointed to the road and shouted "Squirrel!".
I never tried that again.
Yeah, I've never liked pranks either, though I do enjoy little jokes like the spider on your shoulder (unless it was to someone who hated bugs). To me, what distinguishes a prank from a fun joke is that there's some amount of meanness in it, and I hate being mean, especially for no good reason other than my personal enjoyment. I don't mind getting pranked though; prank me all you like, if it'll make you avoid doing it to others who may not be able to handle it.
Though I suppose I ought to say that those who enjoy pranking don't see it as being mean. Often it's a sign of affection. Unless it's with someone they don't like. Then it's mean, and all at their expense, which in my estimation is a poor way to handle dislike for someone.
I'm loving the S1 characterization of everypony in this story. They've all come a long way, but especially Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.
Flutters is still shy and quiet and introverted, of course, but she's no longer crippled by her anxieties like she used to be; and Rainbow has matured a lot over the seasons. And the best thing is, their personal journeys are parallel, from Dragonshy to Hurricane Fluttershy and beyond.
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Thanks!
When I first wrote the story, I set it after the Season 4 finale, and everyone who read it said, "Cute, but it doesn't quite work." So I went spinning back in time, and here we are!
Mike
Fuller review here, but in brief: I appreciated the S1-appropriate characterisation here, and the twist on the letter to Celestia was clever. Nice RD development, too. On the downside, that (together with how upset 'Shy was for much of the time) meant I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd have liked. Still a very easy upvote, though.
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Thanks!
As I constantly say, Fluttershy and I share way too many neuroses, so writing for her often just entails me unpacking some of my own baggage and putting it into her saddlebags. And what with this being based on a true story, it was pretty easy to tap into all the unhappy feelings and spray them out onto the page.
Mike