My opinion in a nutshell: camo.githubusercontent.com/23a1c475225fd617cde18719f499c631ed3f1aee/687474703a2f2f692e696d6775722e636f6d2f486673535a56332e676966

Nice prelude.

This is pretty good so far. I like the colored text.

There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing too major. Just a couple of missing commas. And it feels a bit rushed, so maybe slow the pace down a notch. Aside from that, good start. I like the way you changed the colours of the dialogue for each of the mane six. Very clever! I am awaiting the next chapter.

The main six fight for Spike Rarity goes first .

Dear Celestia,
Sharing is nice,
Your fateful student Twilight Sparkle.

cc: Spike here, Wow, Sharing is great !
PS. I need more sleep.

This is an excellent start to an excellent series! Continue the good work and you'll gain yourself a loyal watcher ;3

Thank you all. In just a couple hours of it's release I've just become completely flattered by the comments. I'll continue working on a another chapter soon. Also Gummy. I'll keep in mine that you like detail. I've tried to place the story to an easy smooth read, but I will continue improving on my writing. Thank you all for the support of my very first story!

Interesting; couple of spelling and grammar mistakes, but nothing that spins you right out or anything. Good start.

Not a bad start. The color coded dialog is a bit annoying, but that's minor enough to ignore.

sorry was interested, but the color coded dialog cop out ruined for me. I'm color blind and it's somewhat hard to follow. Not to mention distracting and rather irritating.