Fluttershy punishes Rainbow Dash

by capfal

Project New Hobby

Celestia’s Sun was low on the horizon as the mane six exited the train. They were still chatting about their experiences at the swap meet, caught up in all their misadventures. Pinkie Pie helped Twilight carry her books back to the treehouse while Rarity and Applejack hugged goodbye and again thanked each other for their gifts. Fluttershy was going to wish a good night to Rainbow Dash but was halted by Rainbow’s glum face.

“What’s wrong Rainbow Dash? You seem so down.” Fluttershy questioned.

*sigh* “I just can’t believe how I acted today. I nearly traded my friend for stupid book.”

“Not…Not on purpose. You made a mistake, Rainbow. It happens to everypony. You know that.”

“I doubt most ponies sell their friends into slavery for books. I’m the worst!”

Fluutershy placed a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. At the end, you did what’s right and everybody turned out ok.”

“I know. But I just don’t feel right. This wasn’t just some dumb mistake, this was a terrible mistake. I just don’t think an apology is enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I need to make this up to you. I need to make amends.”

“…. Do you really mean that?”

“YES! I need to get what I deserve. You know, like when your mom would spank you for doing something wrong.”

Fluttershy’s wings stiffed at the mentioned for spankings. She’s been waiting for an opportunity to invite Rainbow Dash to her more… interesting hobby, and now one showed itself. She wasn’t going to let this moment pass.

“If..If you really mean that Rainbow, I think I can help you”

“Really?”

“Really. Follow me back to the cottage and I can give you what you need.”

“Oh thanks Fluttershy! I really appreciate it.”

“So do I” Fluttershy said, leading Rainbow back to the cottage. “So do I.”

Stars filled the sky when the two mares reached the Cottage. Rainbow Dash trotted behind Fluttershy, who walked with a faster gait than usual. Rainbow swore Fluttershy’s wings were throbbing every now and then, but she brushed the thought aside. Fluttershy’s not some perverted mare. She’s a sweet friend helping Rainbow ease her guilt. Though Fluttershy did seem pretty anxious as she ripped the door open and flew inside. Angel bunny raised up from his empty food and gave Fluttershy a harsh look, but Fluttershy stared at him and uttered

“Angel: Project New Hobby”

Angel dropped his attitude and stared wide eyed. He turned to Rainbow Dash and understood the plan. Angel gave Fluttershy a salute and ran off to gather the supplies.

“Project New Hobby? What’s that” Rainbow questioned.

“You’ll see. Make yourself comfy on the couch and we’ll get started”

“…ok then” Rainbow said tepidly. She flew over to the couch and laid down on her stomach. She was about to flip through Fluttershy’s magazines when she felt something clamp over her wing.

“What the?!” Before Rainbow could react, Angel slipped another cover on Rainbow’s over wing. “What the hay is this?” She attempted to move her wing, but to no avail. “What’s these things on my wings? Why can’t I move my wings?!”

“It’s so you can’t fly away” Fluttershy answered.

“So I can’t fly?! Why would you stop me from…” Rainbow’s rant got caught in their throat as turned to Fluttershy. Her Flank and legs were covered in shiny black latex with holes cut out to stick her wings through. She wore a spiked collar around her neck and black hat on her head. In her mouth hung a lean, black riding crop.

“Fluttershy? What’s with the get up?”

“It’s part of the fun. As Rarity would say, the outfit makes the mood.”

“Mood for what? What the heck is going on?”

“Exactly what you asked for. You wanted to be punished for your actions, so as your friend I’m here to help. I actually planned to try out my new hobby on somepony anyway so this fits perfectly.”

“I..I don’t get it”

“You will. Angel?” At her call, Angel jumped up and smacked Rainbow in the back of the head. Rainbow’s head collided with a pillow as her vision swirled. Angel took this time to pull some yellow rope from underneath the couch and bind her front legs together, then her back legs. Fluttershy was impressed by how fast Angel did all this. She wondered if he was practicing this behind her back.

“Hey! This isn’t what I wanted! I wanted to punished, not tied up and beat in the head! This is nuts”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little restraint , Rainbow. I thought you learned that from the Wonderbolt academy.” Fluttershy teased as she walked over to Rainbow. The latex squeaked as Fluttershy’s hips swayed back and forth, slowly towards Rainbow’s form, over to Rainbows up raised flank. Fluttershy took a moment to ogle Rainbow’s rump before she place a hoof on Rainbow’s back (“Hey!”). She then dragged the crop down Rainbow’s flank.

Realization down unto Rainbow Dash and she stammered, “Fluttershy… you’re… you’re not going to hit me with that are you?”

Fluttershy faced Rainbow Dash and softened her face. “Of course not”

“Oh. Ok. Not that I was getting scared or anything.”

“We’re going to spank you.” Fluttershy said as she gestured to Angel Bunny. Rainbow’s pupils shrank when she saw Angel holding a wooden paddle with little holes drilled through it. The bunny’s grin couldn’t get any more sadistic.

“Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute! I… I feel it now! I feel sorry enough! Thanks Fluttershy! I learned my lesson! We’re good now!”

“I know we’re good, Rainbow. I wouldn’t do this unless we were friends. You and I will be even closer once this is over”

“But, but, but”

“Don’t think too hard over this. Just enjoy” Was the last pause Rainbow got before *SMACK! Fluttershy swatted Rainbow’s rear with the riding crop.

“OW! What the hay you crazy…” *WHAM! Angel’s paddled Rainbow. “OUCH! Cut it out!”

“No can do.” Fluttershy said sweetly. *SMACK! Angel went next. *WHAM!

“AW! OW! Please! Enough” Rainbow pleaded, her eyes filling with tears.

*SMACK! *WHAM! *SMACK! *WHAM!

“PLEEEEASE!” Rainbow roared, but it fell on deaf ears as the flanks continued to be assaulted. *SMACK!
*WHAM! *SMACK! *WHAM!

While Rainbow wailed in pain, Fluttershy remained silent. She focused on swinging her crop on all areas of Rainbow’s butt. Over her back thighs *SMACK!, over her cutie marks *SMACK!, on her sitting spot *SMACK! Red welts appeared on Rainbow’s fur as she continued. Angel was more focused on the back flanks *WHAM! and back over the cutie marks after Fluttershy *WHAM!
Rainbow cried and cried until all she could do was sob. Her body recoiling from every *SMACK! and *WHAM! on her butt. Despite her strong will, Rainbow closed her eyes and just took the punishment. For several minutes the sounds of spanked flesh filled the air. On and on until one final *SMACK! from Fluttershy.

Fluttershy placed the crop next to Rainbow’s body and walked into the kitchen. She reached under the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She carried the bottle back to the couch and next to Rainbow’s sobbing form.

“Do you feel sorry now?” Fluttershy whispered into Rainbow’s ear. Rainbow didn’t speak, just slowly nodded her head.

“Well, I’m sorry but… We’re not done yet” Fluttershy said as she twisted of the cap and poured the liquid onto Rainbow’s flank.

Deep into the Everfree, Zecora thought she heard the cry of a mare in pain from Fluttershy’s cottage, but she shrugged it off. Fluttershy’s such a sweet pony. She wouldn't hurt anyone.

Comments

[RarityEQM]

Stars filled the star when the two mares reached the Cottage.
Maybe, Stars filled the sky?

There’s nothing wrong with a little resistant, Rainbow. I thought you learned that from the Wonderbolt academy.
resistance I think.

Angel bunny raised up from his empty food and gave Fluttershy a harsh look, but Fluttershy stated at him and uttered
Stated? You mean Stared?

“Exactly what you asked for. You wanted to be punished for your actions, so as your friend I’m here to help. I actually planned to try out my new hobby out on someone anyway so this fits perfectly.
I actually planned to try out my new hobby out on someone?

For several minutes the sounds on spanked flesh filled the air.
You mean the sounds of spanked flesh, I think.

Rainbow didin’t speak, just slowly nodded her head.
Didn't.

Deep into the Everfree, Zecora thought she heard the cry of mare of pain from Fluttershy’s cottage, but she shrug it off.
The cry of mare of pain? You mean a mare in pain? But she shruggedit off.

Darling. Ow. OW! You badly need an editor. Even I give my stories at least a once over before posting, and I'm utterly terrible at grammar! You owe your readers at least a little bit of care when writing dear. I'm sorry, please see me after class.

You'll get no thumbs down from me- but you'll also receive no thumbs up, dear.

[capfal]

5502789 thank you for pointing out my mistakes. I've corrected them. I plan to take more time with my future stories.

[Skylight77]

...Why? This is just so cruel and unethical. Rainbow Dash talks about how she wants to be punished for what she almost did, but there was no mention by either of them about the Bird Whistle Rainbow Dash got her in the end. Did that mean absolutely nothing to either of them? Because it was what Fluttershy stated that she wanted in that episode.

And Fluttershy, being the Element of Kindness, is way too fast and too cruel at taking up Rainbow Dash's offer. I see nothing but abuse being done to Rainbow Dash by a hater. Fluttershy doesn't even show any emotion for this either. She is just being sadistic for the sake of being sadistic. Why did she go through with it so well? Why does she not stop when Rainbow asks?

Why is this a Romance?! This is nothing but abuse, and Dark, without reasonable motive.

[capfal]

5502850 well, this is meant to be a s&m fic, so thier personalities were changed to fit the story.
But yeah, I probably shouldn't have labeled this as a romance, but if you squint, you could say it's two lovers acting out fetish play.

[RarityEQM]

5502860 You don't change the characters to fit the story, you change the story to fit the characters.

Why even make them Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash at all if you're going to muck around with core characters?

[Mix-Tape Mare]

No. Just... no.

Okay, love, after having read both this and your other story about Rarity and the spa, I'm going to come right out and be honest with you here. You badly need someone to teach you the proper mechanics of spelling, grammar, and punctuation... and, you need to either learn something about the subject you're writing about, or stop trying to write this kind of story.

Your biggest problems, mechanically, are:

* Randomly mixing past-tense and present-tense throughout the narrative. This is never acceptable. (Example: "she's" is a contraction for "she is" or "she has". So when you have something like "Fluttershy’s wings stiffed at the mentioned for spankings. She’s been waiting for an opportunity to invite Rainbow Dash to her more… interesting hobby, and now one showed itself. She wasn’t going to let this moment pass.", the "she's been waiting" part is read as "she has been waiting", which is present-tense.)

* Incorrect punctiation of the dialogue. When you have dialogue followed by a tag describing who said it and how, dialogue-plus-tag are treated as one sentence, not two separate ones. The rules are:
(1) If the character's spoken sentence is meant to end with a period, you have to use a comma instead;
(2) The first word of the "tag" part ("he said", "she said", "Rarity said", etc.) does not begin with a capital letter, unless it's someone's name;
(3) If the character's speech ends with ? or !, you still use those like you normally would, but rule (2) still applies to the tag.

* Use "said", "asked", or "replied" as much as possible; try to avoid using words like "questioned" and "answered". They draw attention to themselves and distract the reader.

* Overall, you just use the wrong words a lot. "Fluttershy’s wings stiffed at the mentioned for spankings" is wildly incorrect, for instance; the correct form would be "Fluttershy's wings stiffened at the mention of spankings."

However -- even if you fix the mechanical issues, the other big problem is that you clearly have no actual knowledge of what you're writing about. In both of these stories, what you've written doesn't even come close to "romance", or even S&M as it's actually practised by... well, anyone. What you've got going on in these stories is false imprisonment (unlawfully holding someone against their will), and non-consensual sexual assault and battery; Rarity would be well within her rights to sue that spa into oblivion and have that so-called "masseuse" arrested for assault, and Rainbow Dash could easily press charges against Fluttershy as well if she were inclined to do so.

And as 5502874 rightly says: Don't take established characters and then completely change their personalities just to fit the story you want -- especially if you're not prepared to spend a good deal of time explaining it. ("Alternate universe" stories where the characters are different than their canon selves can work, but you can't just change everything around to suit yourself without any explanation to the reader as to what things are different and why.)

All in all... very poorly done.

[TheFanficFanPony]

5503624
5502874

I don't like to see Fluttershy being so aggressive...

[FrostCast]

What the actual fuck

[Lunar Park]

First off: your grammar is poor, although 5502789 probably gave you a clear idea of that.

Second off: setup. This setup was honestly bad for romance. I could see it being a fairly good setup for a story about Fluttershy having battered/raped Dash with impunity as she was Fluttershy; probably no-one would realistically believe that she’s raped anyone, therefore Rainbow even telling others about it would seem suspect and would-have created a good (er, interesting) conflict. Still, romantic wasn’t the word for it, just like the Fifty Shades franchise still isn’t BDSM.

Third: execution. Even if Dash was the type to feel guilty when they’e wronged others and couldn’t forgive herself unless she had some form of penitence, people like that don’t usually just ask the person they’ve wronged to spank them a few times (without asking to be, at-least, scolded too) and then say to themself « absolved » if it was worth feeling guilty over in the first place. I know from being one of these people that the physical pain of a spanking wouldn’t be the punishment. If Rainbow was one of such people and she asked Fluttershy to spank her (which would be unlikely to be what she would ask for, it would be more-likely to have her help with the animals), I’d guess she’d want to make it clear that the focus should be on the verbal aspect. It’s also worth noting that all of Fluttershy and Angle’s actions after Rainbow getting on the couch were battery, as she clearly withdrew consent before the first blow and that she only consented to being spanked - not being hit anywhere or being bound - in the first-place.

In short, an unfortunate wreck of a story, although not an unsalvageable one.

[Dusk Melody]

what in tartarus's name is this poor excuse for a story?

i practice S&M. i know S&M. this is not S&M, this is abuse.

there is a saying in BDSM practitioners. "discipline with love is what you show a child. Love with discipline is what your trusted partner shows you. Without love there is no discipline, without love there is only abuse."

this is abuse for the sake of abuse. there is no love here.

[SylveonAKASteven2Desmond]

This story actually was not so good as if because the Fluttershy you have now=Maybe Pinkie in Cupcakes. But your story actually inspired me to make the flutterdash adventure and I made the first chapter based on this story. Thks for the inspiration though. You are the start of my writing career
See here:http://www.fimfiction.net/story/275696/1/the-flutterdash-adventure/chapter-1

[superfun]

This needs a sequel where Fluttershy realizes she went too far and lets RD punish her just as hard.