Chapter 1
Twilight sat down at her desk like she always did, ready to start another day of studying for Princess Celestia. Even though her old mentor had told her that she no longer had to send her reports on her findings, she still found solace in the old act, using it to escape from the fast-paced lifestyle of being the newest princess of Equestria. There had always been something about writing reports that left her feeling refreshed, as if performing the sole act had left her ready to tackle the next chore.
She had her supply of books to her left and several pieces of parchment and ink pots to her right. A few of her favorite quills lay before her, sitting in a small ceramic jar that Spike had made her for her birthday last year.
Taking a deep breath, Twilight let out a happy sigh and made herself comfortable on the cushions she was sitting on. She flicked her tail so that it fell around her right flank, stretched her wings, and lit her horn to pick up the first book. It was old and rather dusty, its pages containing that aged parchment smell that she had grown so accustomed to. Twilight opened it to the first bookmarked page and started humming a little ditty to herself.
Though just before she started reading, she heard the library’s front door bell chime, sounding the arrival of a guest. Twilight rolled her eyes, slightly irritated that she was being pulled from her work before she could even get started, but she knew that as the town’s librarian, it was her duty to greet new arrivals and ask if they needed help with anything.
Throwing on a smile, Twilight stood up and trotted across the room to greet the newcomer. He was a light gray pegasus with a white mane, his eyes a vivid ocean blue. Sneaking a quick look at his flank, she saw that his flank was adorned with a simple book as his cutie mark. “Hello!” she started as she came to a halt in front of him. “Is there anything I can help you with, mister…” she trailed off, prompting the newcomer for his name. His cutie mark made her curious as to who he was.
“Grey Streak, and no, I just wanted to look around for a bit,” he said as he roughly pushed past her, nearly knocking her off of her hooves as he walked to the other side of the library.
What is this guy’s problem? Twilight thought irritably as she steadied herself. Scratching the back of her head, she struggled to maintain a calm and collected air. “I–if you need anything, feel free to come ask me, alright?” The stallion didn’t respond, making Twilight feel a bit out of place. Nopony had ever blatantly ignored her like that, and she sure as hell didn’t like it. “Um… alright then…” she muttered to herself, answering her own question.
Twilight shook her head in annoyance as she trotted back to her desk. She sat down on the cushions then snuck a furtive glance at Grey Streak, looking over her left shoulder. He was perusing the shelves just like before, then a few moments later he moved to the next one on the right, coming closer to her. He started to look towards Twilight, so she whipped her head back around so that she was looking at her book.
Praying that she didn’t get caught staring at him, Twilight closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart. After several moments, she opened her eyes again, cracked her neck, then slid the book towards her. It lay flat on the desk, open and ready to give Twilight its secrets. She flicked her ears forward and away from the newcomer, trying to tune him out so that she could start her work. After waiting a few seconds to see if he would bother her, she looked down and started to read.
“Uh… what are you doing?” Twilight heard Grey Streak ask in a manner that sounded like he thought of her as an idiot. Surprised that he was being rude to her, Twilight grit her teeth and decided to play nice, for now.
“Well…” she said slowly, unsettled by his condescending expression. One side of his lips was pulled upwards in a smirk and he looked at her as if he thought he was above her. “I was about to start reading this book here, but that can wait. Is there something you need?” Twilight turned to face the stallion, who kept sneering at her.
“Yeah, you aren’t reading that book in the correct and proper manner, missy!” Grey Streak said, pointing at the book laying before Twilight.
Twilight’s eyes went wide at that. She had barely tolerated him shoving past her when they had first met, but she could not idly stand by and let herself be a doormat to be trodden on as if she was nothing. Twilight took great offense at his claim; if there was anything she knew how to handle, it was a book.
“Excuse me, what did you say?” Twilight asked in disbelief. Why would he disrespect me like this? I’ve shown him nothing but respect, yet he chooses to show me none! Can he not see that I’m an alicorn?
“Heh, are you deaf? I told you that–” He raised his voice a little bit, just like somepony would as if they were speaking to somepony hard of hearing. “You aren’t using that book properly!”
Twilight scoffed at that. Closing the book with a touch of magic, she said, “As Ponyville’s librarian and Princess Celestia’s old protégé, I can assure you with one hundred percent certainty that I know exactly what I’m doing,” she finished smugly, giving the old book a few pats to emphasize her point.
“No, you don’t!” Grey Streak said forcefully, pushing Twilight off of the cushions as he went for the book.
Off balance, Twilight fell on her side with a small ‘oof’. Thankful that she hadn’t injured her wing, she pushed herself back up. “Hey, what was that for?” she demanded, now standing on all four hooves. She quickly dropped her pretense of being nice, now choosing to let her irritation sit plainly upon her face.
Like earlier, Grey Streak ignored her as he grabbed the book, clutching it to his chest. “You weren’t using this book right, so I had to step in and–“
“Step in?!” Twilight said, raising her voice out of anger. “You shoved me to the floor! Don’t you have any manners?”
“Not for those who don’t use books the right way! You can’t just let it sit there like that, it has to–”
What the heck is this guy’s problem? “That’s my book, and you have no right to take it from me! Now give it back!”
“No!”
Twilight hated throwing her position as princess around, but this stallion was really pushing her limits. “You know you’re talking to a princess, right?” she asked as she tried pulling the book back from him with her magic. “You should treat me with the respect that my position deserves!”
“No way; not if you’re gonna treat books the wrong way!” Grey Streak said, raising his voice to match Twilight’s. “You don’t deserve this!” He pulled back on the book, but Twilight’s strength was too much for him, making him fall on his ass as the book slipped from his hooves.
“You insubordinate and churlish foal! You aren’t welcome here anymore, so get out before I call the guards on you!” Twilight raised the book in her magical grasp and used it to swat the newcomer’s flank, making him yelp and jump to his hooves. Further swats proved highly effective as she pushed him out of the library.
“Sheesh, the nerve of some ponies…” Twilight muttered under her breath as she slammed the door closed behind him. She looked out of the window and watched him as he trotted away, letting her shoulders fall in relief once she was sure he wasn’t coming back.
She trotted back to where she had been sitting and laid her book back down on the desk. As she opened it to where she had been interrupted, she muttered to herself, “If ponies think I have to conform to some baseless set of standards that they’ve randomly set for anypony, then they’re outta their fucking minds…”
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Pffft.
~Exodia, we're done here.
one does not simply tell twilight shes handling a book wrong
Meta parody poking fun at some of our 'friendly' users and commentators? Or am I over analyzing?
A nice little one shot.
Then Twilight discovers that the book is upside down.
I thought this was going to be more like she's been holding them wrong her whole life, like she'd been messing up the spine or something. But now I get the joke. Bravo good sir, bravo.
Ha I think I get it... Nice
5519442 Would you mind explaining? Maybe I missed something...
5519489 read the last sentence and then think of this community.
5519494 ...I have come to the conclusion...that I am an idiot.
5519500 hah
Should be effective.
Just a little gripe there.
Other than that, I found this quite amusing (and disturbingly relatable..)
I thought that this was going to be about how Twilight actually is rough on books. Remember the Series Premier? Twilight just dropped all those books on the ground when she got the one she needed. She also started re-shelving day by pulling all the books off the shelves and dropping them to the ground before levitating them all in a massive display of dexterity.
All the fanon of Twilight being obsessively protective of books is false. She is shown to be rough on them. Her rage at having the library destroyed may be focused on the loss of her home and possessions more than the destruction of books.
Edit: I just noticed that Twilight used the book to hit the jerk and drive him out of the library. That may be something she would really do, considering that it was on hoof.
5519665 Thanks for catching that!
Short but funny.
5518802 It is what you make out of it.
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/112160.jpg?1371950342
...I don't get it.
5520529 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/240365/youre-doing-it-wrong#comment/5519494
I think you could have written the message clearer. Even reading that last sentence, I think the average reader (myself included) would have not understood the point. I was ready to just move on until I read the comments, and I'm sure a few of the downvotes would indicate that. Interesting though...
5520675
No, I mean, I don't get the story. What was she doing wrong? I expected some kind of punchline to the joke you seemed to be setting up. I expected something, you know, clever.
5519694 Please shut up and go back to the tumblr crevice you crawled out of.
5523379
I'm pretty sure that comment was a joke.
5523379 Listen, I deleted the comment because of the hate I was getting, so you don't need to insult me, okay?!
5519205 Lol!
I loved it!
I saw this fic right as it popped up and did a quick reading of it. Hope that's ok!
I don't get it ... it ought to be written better with a clearer tone and more characterization. Also more description. You use too many commas. Twilight sounds like a bitch, I don't like it. If you don't get what I'm doing, please don't comment. You use too little/much formatting and we don't like author's notes. It's vague and the message is unclear. It doesn't follow canon. I don't like the shipping, anthros suck, don't make them human, Flashlight is the worst and you smell funny.
Would I be trout-slapped (or party-cannoned) for arguing with the idea behind this story? This is actually a topic that interests me.
That was excellent, and very relatable lol.
Bit odd at the start, and felt a bit slow, but I think mine were guilty of that as well, so I can't complain too much. That being said...
Screw the rules, I have reading!
5525587 I don't get you.
5524967 Nicely done!
5526018 If you remain respectful, I have no problems with a friendly argument.
5528581 How do I put this . . .
I feel like it's the reader's job to argue with the story. The author puts out an idea, a nice, shiny new idea. Then the reader compares it to the ideas they've already got, and decides what to make of it. Maybe they accept it alongside their old ideas, or maybe they decide it just doesn't work, or anything in between.
You could certainly say there's a difference between "I disagree with how this story portrays the concept of nirvana" and "This story should have had Spike more," but I'm not sure that's necessarily true. One may be more "intellectual," but they're both part of evaluating and actively engaging in the story. Commenting about it furthers the engagement, not just by talking with the author, but by talking with other readers, who will then discuss and evaluate the comment.
To me, putting something out with no evaluation feels like writing one of the TV shows in Fahrenheit 451. Just there to occupy time, to be accepted and then forgotten without the slightest thought . . . That's not how I would want to write.
I feel like I'm missing something cause I don't get it
Take a book from Twilight?
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/130/3/9/my_book__by_otakuap-d7ht5r0.jpg
Surely nopony is that stupi--
Oh.
Well, nevermind.
5558455
The story is ok but that picture is priceless. She look like an old broody hen we had when I was a kid.
5584425 Chickens can be mean.
But yeah, the picture's amazing. As is this one. God, I love this fandom.
5585194
Captions
first pic. [ boooooook ]
second pic "mine, mine, mine, mine."
5519205
If that had been the case I might've liked this story!
5589271 Yes, but it would have detracted from the author's message. Otherwise The Ravager probably would have done it.
Grey fur and pony entrails are so hard to clean off of books. Seriously though, what was Twilight doing wrong?
5804267
With how we see her read in the show. She has the book open all the way with the covers resting on the table. Technically that can mess with the bindings of a book, and ruin it, or even crease the spine. So yeah, technically she's making it easier to break a page out of a book, or permenantly damage older ones.
The story was unclear on its message, is rushed, and there was the same point that is repeatedly mentioned in the comment sections by those not being purposefully malicious trolls. It wasn't that it was bad per say. Just that it had a build up and a message that didn't fully come across. Not enough anything to really make an informed comment.
Heck, if it was satire on people commenting on bad grammar and giving error fixes. Most of those people (a vast majority) give tips on how to fix it. Whether it be misspelled words, improper formating, or just bad grammar. Which the Book guy doesn't do. Heck we don't even know what his Cutie Mark is supposed to be. Especially since he has an important part to the story.
But even ignoring satire. If it wasn't supposed to be that. It still wasn't clear on the type of humor you were going for, the point of the story (if indeed there was a point), and we never hear what she did wrong, for the punchline if any to be had.
Welp, now we will never know what valuable book care advice he was going to give her.
~Leonzilla
Loved it, very funny story
Well, that was an interesting bit of random. Would’ve liked it more if there were a twist of some kind at the end though.