Cold. The wind howled around them as they appeared as snow was thrown around, either freshly fallen or recycled fluff kicked up by the angry weather.
"It's cold!" stated a shrill but young voice in clear observation of fact.
Dawn's voice came clearly, "Remain still, everyone." He pulled the party close together, including their last-minute stowaway. With a loud entreaty to the soft warmth of the Sun Queen, the chill retreated from the bodies of them all, repelled by a strange sensation of inner warmth.
With the cold not as pressing, they looked down at the newest voice to find Soft Mane, smiling at them nervously.
Spike was first at her, "Soft! What are you doing here? Youre mom's gonna flip! I'm already flipping! What if you get hurt?!"
Pinkie giggled softly, "Just like the girls at home." She seemed entirely unbothered, instead looking around the area and taking in the mountain ledge they had appeared on.
Twilight asked Dawn, "Can we send her back? We shouldn't be carrying a filly along with us."
"No," said Dawn, "We should not, and we cannot send her back. Spike, you are clearly tied to her fate, she is now your responsibility."
Spike paled as the duty was passed to him in full, "I didn't tell her to come here!"
Soft suddenly lashed out, catching Spike across the side of the head with an open palmed slap. "I came here because I wanted to." she said, tone filled with anger, "I'm responsible for myself."
Spike rubbed at the light mark as he huffed, "You're too small to be responsible for anything."
Soft stomped a hoof, sinking into the snow, "I heard her say you're my age. If you can be responsible, I can too!"
Spike fumed, but failed to think of a good retort. Twilight stepped in for him, "Spike has been through a lot, as a pon... er... person, and is a dragon besides."
She stuck out her tongue at Twilight, "And I haven't been through a lot? Or you don't like cross breeds either?" The second sentence trailed into a soft whimper.
Twilight stammered an awkward denial as Spike pulled her closer, "It's not that. I care about you, Soft. I want you to be safe. No one is safe here."
She kissed his cheek suddenly and danced away, "Then we'll be in danger together."
Dawn stomped forward, placing himself between the pony satyr and Spike, "We can argue this later. We proceed north. Can any of you determine which way that is?"
Pinkie span in place as she called out, "Eeenie Meanie, minie, moe... That way!" She pointed out.
Twilight peered at Pinkie, "If I didn't see the magic being used..." Realization crashed over her, "That's it! Pinkie sense!"
Pinkie tilted her head at Twilight, "Yea?"
"You don't have 'Pinkie Sense', you're an earth-pony spellcaster," declared Twilight. "That's why you didn't train when you got here, you already knew the magic!"
Pinkie blinked a few times before giggling at Twilight, "I already knew that, silly billy. Come on, let's get out of the snow before we become pony-sicles."
Twilight shook her head slowly before asking, "Anyone see Long?"
Dawn began to trudge through the snow in the direction Pinkie had pointed, "He proceeds ahead of us. Come, let us catch up and stay close together. It will be all together too easy to get separated while the snow blows."
The party pushed through the snow that thankfully let up about half an hour into the hike. Though Spike could fly, he refrained from doing so very far away from the others at Dawn's suggestion, "Other dragons are very territorial, and you being in their air could be seen as a challenge."
Pinkie walked alongside the smaller pony satyr, looking her over curiously, "Hello! My name is Pinkie, Pinkie Pie. What's your name?"
"Soft Mane," she said, looking at Pinkie between steps curiously.
Pinkie suddenly stopped, then charged forward, pushing her head up between Soft Mane's legs and lifting. The squealing girl was soon seated on Pinkie's back comfortably and carried along over the snow. "You look like you're used to riding."
"How did you know?" asked Soft, clinging to Pinkie's armor to keep herself in place but not objecting to the ride.
"Auntie Pinkie always knows how to treat a little pony."
"But I'm not a pony," murmured Soft.
"Then how did I know what you wanted?" challenged Pinkie as she looked over shoulder.
They stood at the darkened hole in the side of the mountain. It had taken most of a day to reach it and everyone looked ready to collapse on their hooves. Dawn directed a hoof at the darkness, "Our target lies within. The tome is known to the goddess Luminace, sealed away a hundred years ago by its writer. We should be wary, for they would not have left it without its guardians and traps."
Spike zipped inside first, looking around with his sharp senses that pierced the darkness, "It looks safe just inside," he called out, stopping at a small door where he landed beside it and looked it over, "No handle on the door."
They trotted inside, where the temperature seemed less unforgiving. Working quickly but tiredly, they soon had camp set up and settled to rest. Spike looked at Soft Mane, who was curled up with Pinkie. "Aren't you worried about scaring your mom?"
Soft shook her head quickly, "Nuh uh. I told her I would be gone for a while."
Spike hiked a brow, "How long is a while?" She didn't reply, instead burying her face into Pinkie's fluffy mane. Spike sighed and turned his head at Dawn, "Can you do that message thing to tell her mom?"
Dawn was just settling down on a blanket. "No," he replied. "I have to know who I am sending the message to, or I would have already offered to send a message to your home."
Twilight made a sleepy murmur, but was out like a light a moment later.
Dawn nodded as if she had said something intelligible, "She speaks truth. Sleep. We have work to do on waking."
Refreshed and ready, they examined the door. There was a flowing script that ran over and through the door, part of it and the wall around it. Twilight eagerly stepped forward and started tracing along the lettering as she muttered to herself in a calculating tone. "It's a very old dialect, but has familiar parts..." She rested a hoof on the wall, "I think I have it. It says that only those with true love may enter."
Dawn stepped forward, "I have love for my goddesses." After making his confident declaration, he called out to the goddesses in turn, "Under the watchful gaze of the Sun Queen, the Moon Princess, Princess Luminace. Under the shrewd promptings of Blaze, Kara, and the Night Mare, allow me past." He nudged the door, but it didn't move at all.
Soft Mane suddenly grinned and dashed up to the lost looking Spike, grabbing him and planting a loud smooch on him, both collapsing to the ground. As eager as her display, the door still showed little sign of opening.
Twilight stepped over to the two and gently parted them before gathering up Spike, bringing him to the door. "I love Spike, as my little brother, as my son, and my number one assistant. We would die for one another without regret." She hugged Spike gently. Blushing in some combination of Soft and Twilight's affections, Spike returned the embrace.
Pinkie suddenly joined the hug with an excited cry, "Group hug!" Soft Mane was quick to join, followed by Long. Dawn was last, looking uncertain as he paced back and forth before yielding to the inevitable and moving in to offer a hoof around the other equines. With a loud click, the door swung inwards, revealing a narrow but well lit tunnel with stone floors. The walls of both sides were covered from floor to ceiling with murals of pony families, from foalbirth to parties and onward, progressing in the timeline as they progressed forward. By the time they reached the end, the depicted family was lesser in number, the foals from the first were well into adulthood, burying their parents.
Spike suddenly held up a claw, bringing the train of folks to an abrupt stop. "I see a line on the ground," he hissed, backing away. "It looks like a magical thing of some kind."
Twilight and Pinkie spoke the words to see the magic and almost as one winced and shut their eyes. Pinkie covered her eyes with her hooves, giving a dramatic squeak, "My eyes! They burn!"
Twilight kept her eyes shut as she spoke, "There's magic everywhere, and it's too bright to look at. Give me a moment." She slowly blinked her sight back and nudged up alongside Spike. "Everyone back up, just in case."
The others followed her orders, soon filed out back into the entry hallway. Twilight worked her hooves in slow circles as she called out to the magic that would reveal the power of the specific thing Spike had seen. "Oh... this is bad..." she muttered, backing away from the trap.
"What did you see?" asked Long, "Is it that bad? Can you dispel it?"
"The door won't open without sacrifice," said Twilight, "Ten years of life"
Spike gave a soft huff, "I got thousands of those! Let me do it."
Twilight shook her head, "It... isn't as simple as that, and that's terrible Spike. It won't trigger for 'timeless' races that just get more powerful with time, like dragons."
Soft thrust her hand up, "I'm youngest!"
"No!" spoke Twilight and Spike in unison, glaring at her as she shrank back muttering.
Long Road raised an ear, "I don't have any family waiting for me. Will the book bring goodness to the world?"
At this Dawn replied, "It is a book of tremendous good, and will please the Princess Luminace."
Long stepped forward, trying to push past a hesitant Twilight, "Then I will do it. I have the least to lose. Twilight has many waiting for her, as do Pinkie and Soft. Spike cannot do it."
Twilight pushed against him even as he shoved her down the hallway inexorably. "You can't!" she cried. "It was my fault we're here at all. I'm the one that summoned Luminace. You can't give up ten years for me."
Long gently nudged Twilight aside, pushing her against the wall and nuzzling her, muzzle to muzzle. "If I lose ten years for anyone, it will be an honor for you." She sank down to the floor, crashing on her haunches as Long marched past.
"I will give for those I love," he announced, stepping up to the door at the end of the hallway. When his hoof touched it, dark energy leaped at him, wreathing him in sapping energy even as he pushed the door open. He collapsed into the next chamber, wheezing softly.
"It's safe," announced Pinkie even as Twilight hurried to his side. Soon everyone had poured through and gathered around the struggling Long. Having slipped into middle age, new wrinkles teased at his features and grey just teasing at the end of his snout.
Twilight brought down a hoof, clonking Long across the skull, "You stupid donkey! I didn't ask you to do that for me." Tears ran freely down her face, "Magic won't give that back!"
Dawn pulled Twilight away from Long, "He has sacrificed. It is done. We should honor his action, not berate them."
Twilight collapsed against Dawn, crying into the awkward cleric's side. Spike moved over to put a claw on Twilight's quivering shoulder in support. Pinkie and Soft remained by Long, watching after them.
"Two down," said Long, on his hooves and looking ready to proceed.
Good Chapter.
So Soft Mane followed them there bad, really bad. I will pray she makes it thru alive and in one relative piece. She might prove useful but She is in serous danger as long as she's there. I guess Spike's going to be a hero sooner then I thought. To bad he can't be a hero when her mother finds out, because when she gets Soft Mane back I'm betting she's going to tan Soft Mane's hide.
Long Road really took one for the team. Twilight must feel awful about that that her actions put Long Road in the position where he had to make that sacrifice. And to have her mistake come back to haunt her every time she looks him in the face talk about a permanent reminder. But seriously adventurers find ways to circumvent things like this all the time. Nobody but you knows eventually they might find some way to get those years he lost back. So in case I'm not clear I'm asking you is that a possibility at all.
And so far they are only part way through the dungeon. If thats the first major trap they should be terrified of what the next trap holds. But I doubt Twilight is going to let someone else suffer through what ever is the worst trap in there. There is one thing I'm sure of based on this chapter Twilight is going to have to take one for the team before this adventure is over.
I have to say after Spike goes through this dungeon crawl I'm betting he will be inspired to be stronger. Something in this dungeon crawl will inspire him to go in a certain path so his team never suffers through what ever happened again. Whether it's a trap that inspires him to go Rouge or some variable. Or a monster that inspires him to go Monk or some variable. I'm betting something here will make him want to better himself for his team.
5498236 Don't forget was ready to take the hit, but it would be a very silly door to have an age trap that dragons can trigger. Many of them would come back every day for a turn. It would get out of hand very quickly.
I tend to avoid spoilers, at least I try to. So I shall not reveal whether or not paladin will ever get himself put back right. At least he's still whole of body, if a little older. It could be worse? Surely Twilight will figure out some way to make amends.
5498236 Well, if you wanted a standard way around it, there's always Wish and Miracle. Taunting you. Because no one *sells* them.
5497051
Well, she could just suck it out of him with a straw. I could see Discord really getting into the idea of handing out chaos biased spells.
After all, burn down a pony's house and you've got angry Princesses. Start handing out lighters and let them burn down their own houses and you've got plausible deniability.
5494686 whether you rolled dice or not isn't the point, it read like a dice roll, because they tried and failed... Not talk about how they didn't know anything about tracking and come up with another plan. Nobody would try to track as their first option if they didn't know how, so when they tried and failed, it felt like a dice roll.
Small nitpick, but I constantly see it.
Sometimes it pays to have an elf in the party.
Dwarf works too I guess.
Oh, hello, miss stowaway. The team now has a pet (though no one should refer to her as one.)
Don't teach your bard how to suck eggs, Twilight.
If the book will bring great good, why was it sealed away? Likely potential for abuse there...
Is it wrong that I was kind of hoping Soft Mane would take the hit? Not out of malice, but so she'd have an excuse to stick with the party. Eh, she's not meant for the adventuring life. Probably. She's certainly going to get a taste of it, and then she'll get to choose for herself.
(Of course, if Granny Smith is any indication, Pinkie might have been able to tank a lost decade with little trouble. Still, that's a big gamble, and paladins are made for martyrdom.)
More grammar than typo, but that should be "as do."
Looking forward to more.
5498779 Who wants it the easy way?
5498672 This feels off to me. I try to do things, and fail, all the time, this story possibly being one of them. Even in a professional capacity I try to do things that don't work out. Just yesterday I was trying to diagnose a technical problem for a client and struggled for most of an hour only to fail. Was that just a failed dice roll? Should I blame god for bad storytelling?
5499620 There was a temptation to toss Soft Mane into the fire, but I felt having a young female get shot up to mid-adulthood may have uncomfortable connotations, especially if she continued to chase Spike around. Let her remain around Spike's age and keep it as a puppy love instead of something perhaps more disturbing for many readers. Besides, Long Road's logic isn't really off, even if he does have people waiting for him now, they're just standing next to him.
The typo has been fixed without triggering the trap, good work adventurer!
Now this is a trap I have never through of before, Not really away around it. May have to steal it from some of my RPs
5512957 I wouldn't say NO way around it. A really talented rogue could disable the trap, then figure out the door, though that's made harder with a door that doesn't normally open without triggering the trap. It's certainly a story trap, and I would advise careful usage.
5512960
Is the door wooden? Stone? Metal?
I use my Flint-And-Steel if it's wood!
I bash it down if it's stone, or use my lightning breath to arc-weld it open if it's metal.
I think you might want to remove the highlighted words.
5605517 Fixed, thanks!
Personally I think it would have been a moment of 'Oh hayseed' on Dawn Event's part if Twilight stepped forward... and the door did nothing. She's implied to be immortal as well over the show, so he'd be faced with the fact that he might have tongue lashed what amounted to a budding goddess.
(Small fun fact, over the course of season 4, Twilight has actually started growing compared to her old self and her friends).
5778152 It is unclear if the 'made' alicorns are as immortal as the born ones.
So that first door's text read to me as "Be friends, and enter."
And oh horseapples, adventures are no places for little fillies.
This is one dungeon it would have paid to have an elf along for. Or would they have counted as timeless?
5870801 A dwarf wouldn't work bad either, cheaters.
Spike the ladies man. Pretty soon he'll have to beat them off with a stick.
Sorry if this is a little on the quick side, but I just got back on vacation.
Short C&Cs:
You're mom's gonna flip!
> Replace “You’re” with “Your”.
Spike, you are clearly wound with her fate, she is now your responsibility.
> Not completely sure, but I think you might want to replace ‘wound with’ with ‘bound to’.
5964606 Fixed!
Wow Dawn, you're the one who dragged everyone there and you didn't even volunteer for this. This is what whoring yourself to all the gods does, love spread so thin that it's meaningless, that was shown on the first door and caused him to sit back while the people who actually understand friendship do all the sacrificing and hard work. Seriously, he's doing all of this so he can have the glory of summoning a god who's core tenants revolve around friendship. I would call him a self-righteous ass, but clearly the donkey was the better man in this instance.
If he does something genuinely touching in the next chapter, sorry for seeming overly critical about this. I just felt like I needed to vent this.
She’s got ya there
5498343
I know this is 7 years late, but I personally think age effects should take lifespan away and not add age. So things like dragons, old age bonuses, elves and the like don't get stronger sooner, they just have less time, and things like haste and ghost touch don't suddenly grant int and wisdom. Do it too much and you might not even have age signs, just abruptly die.