I haven't read the actual story, but right away, based on the summary, I would say that if the summary is accurate the story has a problem.

Simply put, a teenage Discord will have a completely different personality than the main character of Rosario+Vampire. So keeping the dialogue and actions the same will have Discord being completely and totally out of character.

Fluttershy is perfect for the character you chose for her -- the shy, sweet, modest girl who holds within her a ruthless, beautiful killer. But either you needed the main character to be someone totally different (Spike would be better), or you needed to change the dialogue and actions to account for Discord's personality. People don't change that much between age 15 and age 3000 or whatever it is Discord is. :-)

It's a pity, because I'd actually like to see a story where Discord impersonates a pony to get an education because of xenophobic prejudices that prevent draconequui from being allowed to learn, in which case he wouldn't be accidentally going to the wrong place, he'd be doing it deliberately, but the rest of the plot would be the same. Since ponies all have magical abilities, the supernatural aspect from Rosario+Vampire where every creature has a superpower except the main character could be mimicked by Discord having to wear an amulet or something that not only makes him look like a pony, but blocks off his chaos powers because otherwise he might get caught (which would be an interesting point of similarity between him and Fluttershy.) But it sounds like you're not actually telling a ponified Rosario+Vampire, you're literally ripping it off and just inserting MLP names in. That's no fun. If I wanna read about Discord, I wanna read about Discord, not the dude whose name I can't remember who acts like practically every other anime hero in existence. It'd be more of a challenge, and a better read, if you actually kept the personalities close to the MLP characters and adapted the dialogue and actions to fit, but the plots would be fairly close to the same.

Edited to add: I missed that you actually put the original characters' names in the summary.

5633287 Thanks for the feedback.

Simply put, a teenage Discord will have a completely different personality than the main character of Rosario+Vampire. So keeping the dialogue and actions the same will have Discord being completely and totally out of character.

That was mentioned a couple of times in a blog post about the story and in the author notes. Of course, it's not an excuse. The blog post states that I chose Discord because I like Fluttercord, which is very lazy on my part. Still, I feel I am way to far in to change it. And that's mostly because the fact that I am a very, very, lazy person.

It's a pity, because I'd actually like to see a story where Discord impersonates a pony to get an education because of xenophobic prejudices that prevent draconequui from being allowed to learn, in which case he wouldn't be accidentally going to the wrong place, he'd be doing it deliberately, but the rest of the plot would be the same. Since ponies all have magical abilities, the supernatural aspect from Rosario+Vampire where every creature has a superpower except the main character could be mimicked by Discord having to wear an amulet or something that not only makes him look like a pony, but blocks off his chaos powers because otherwise he might get caught (which would be an interesting point of similarity between him and Fluttershy.) But it sounds like you're not actually telling a ponified Rosario+Vampire, you're literally ripping it off and just inserting MLP names in. That's no fun. If I wanna read about Discord, I wanna read about Discord, not the dude whose name I can't remember who acts like practically every other anime hero in existence. It'd be more of a challenge, and a better read, if you actually kept the personalities close to the MLP characters and adapted the dialogue and actions to fit, but the plots would be fairly close to the same.

I am very sorry I could not complete your wishes. But I am truly glad for the feedback you gave me. Thank you.

5633317
Fair enough. Now you've made me think maybe I want to write that idea (though the only elements I'd actually be taking from the anime are "guy in wrong school for his species" and "shy sweet girl is a terrifying vampire", and no other characters would likely be similar to ones from the anime except by accident.)

5633346 Well I'd be sure to read that if you did.

I see you like Discord a lot. I'm sorry this story was a disappointment for you. XD

... I just realized something. It would make more sense for Rainbow Dash to be Akua Shuzen!... Eh, it's still fine. Besides, this seems to be more based on the anime, not the manga, so it's TOTALLY fine.

5634933 Okay.

Another magnificent work from you nice man and who do should yukari. In my opinion I think like twilight or Trixie mostly Trixie because she wears a hat and a cape like yukari as usual and my guess for mizore is Maud by the looks of it. How about you? Willsfilly

How do you change Discord, a trickster god who manipulates all near him with the ease most breathe, into the main character of this anime?

5639816 Thank you very much!

Twilight is Yukari, because of her amazing talent and ability. She is also extremely smart and skipped several grades. I didn't chose Trixie for this, because while Trixie is powerful and talented, she isn't very smart.

Mizore and Maud are correct.

I've been well, thank you.

5641291 Huff... No one reads blogs anymore.

I chose Discord for the fact that I like Fluttercord.

5641438 Doesn't it not work when Discord is inescapably more powerful than she ever could be? I know the system for that show kinda and doesn't work like he's just a regular guy surrounded by magical beings? But with Discord it's more like being surrounded by bunny rabbits XD they'd all be so ineffectual against him

5647885 I know that.

5648371 ... Oh I haven't actually read it yet but now I'm intrigued if any and all of the usual vampire angst is just immediately stopped by Discord just summoning up a few bunny kangaroos with trombones.

5649416 You're spamming my story.
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5706095 Okey!

you know its kind of funny how discord has to go through with this

Would've like to see what happened in the next chapter