Brotherly Bonding Time

by Sketcha-Holic

18.5--Failed the Smell Test

As the golden sunlight spilled onto Applewood the next morning, Tomato and the four co-planners walking up the boulevard to check on the wedding and reception area. The planners had little fear of it being trashed, knowing that Cheese would protect it, but they had dread over Cheese insulting them for their ideas yet again. Said dread was masked with grumpy grumblings, which they didn’t hide from Tomato.

“I’m just saying that I have an appreciation for beauty,” Pearly Whites said. “The organization could and should have been more orderly, but I do hope that he considers some of our ideas and doesn’t just throw streamers everywhere.”

“You’re being too nice, Pearl, it was a complete mess,” Lightning Dust responded, crossing her front legs in her hover. “Still, he didn’t need to call us ‘idiots’. What’s his deal?”

“Yeah, I think there were some good ideas in there,” Victory Screech said. “I mean, there were things that I thought Peanut and Jelly would like.”

“I don’t get why he ain’t got manners no more,” Cherry Jubilee snipped. “The last time he threw a party in Dodge Junction he was a perfect gentlecolt! Now it seems he don’t give a darn about nopony.”

Lightning turned to Tomato. “You’re his brother. Did you do something?”

Tomato repressed a hiss, but his mane still bristled audibly when he heard that. “What? No! I mean… not anything that would change his attitude like that, but just annoying him wouldn’t do that!” He did not appreciate the blame being shifted onto him; Cheese was responsible for his own attitude. Okay, sure, the whole swap with Snap could have gone horribly wrong, Cheese did have a point about that, but surely he’d normally find it kind of funny. Tomato was sure that it was something that Rooney guy did; either that, or there was a changeling in their midst.

Still, he felt his heart starting to sink when the question of what he didn’t do struck his mind.

Vic scooted back to be beside him. “Aw, I wouldn’t worry about what she says. Take it from a guy with nine brothers and sisters, just because somepony’s being a grumpypants doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

Tomato snorted. In my family, everything’s my fault.

They turned into the plaza, and then stepped forward into the carefully arranged reception area of pinks, golds, and whites. They were all made up of things that the four co-planners had brought or obtained--Cherry’s fake fruits and lights; Pearl’s tablecloths, scented candles, and her seashells, beads, and pearls arranged into floral patterns; Vic’s peanut butter and jelly jars, tissue flags, and paper basketballs; and Lightning’s seagull feathers, also arranged into flowers, and the trophies she borrowed from Peanut. Everything was all clean and arranged so that ponies were close enough for chatter, but also enough room to move around. There was even a clear space so that there could be a dance party or something.

The only part of the plaza that was markedly not clean was one table in the center, where Cheese Sandwich was lying among scattered décor, using a notepad as his pillow as he snoozed.

Pearl gasped. “Oh, my goodness! It’s beautiful!” She looked at one table and squealed. “Not to mention perfectly arranged in such a beautiful manner!" After her moment of drinking it in, she glanced at Cheese and muttered coolly, "I suppose it’s thoughtful of him to find some way to incorporate some of our ideas.”

Cheese’s ears perked up, and he smacked his lips. Boosting himself up, he murmured, “You’re welcome.”

“So... how did you make our mess into an actual wedding party?” Vic asked.

Cheese scratched his ear with his hind leg. “Cleaning up garbage… separating the wheat and the chaff… and a good dose of—” He leaned forward too far and fell off the table and landed face first on the ground. “Creativity.”

Tomato hopped forward and helped him get back right-side up. “I didn’t doubt that you could clean it up, but I don’t think that going at it all night is all that healthy.”

Cheese rubbed one eye and finally opened both of them. “I had to make up for lost time somehow. I don’t want to postpone our cousin’s wedding.”

Lightning was overhead, helping Pearl fix the table Cheese had been laying on. “Aww, I guess you still have a heart after all.”

“Does this mean we’re not idiots?” Vic said coolly, busy looking at the feather flower and paper basketballs on the wall.

Cheese growled. “I’m not in the mood.”

Tomato was about to reply when his nostrils caught a whiff of something on Cheese. One-half of it was that of ocean water; the other half was disturbingly familiar, making him recall a certain event earlier that summer. It was something almost tantalizing and delicious to some dark part of his brain, enough for him to make a quick run over his teeth with his tongue and feel his back for anything strange. And yet, his pony instincts recoiled at the stench, even if no one else noticed it.

“Cheese…” he whispered. “Why do you smell like blood?”

Cheese turned to him with a face of stone. “I guess I must have stumbled and cut myself when returning some stuff to the park.” He rolled up his sleeve to reveal some makeshift bandages on his shoulder, with blood soaking through. “This thing is from a stick I guess I fell on.” He brushed some shaggier fur aside to show some cuts on his skin. “And stuff like this from random stuff scratching me, and maybe a couple of bruises…” He rubbed his head. “Might've hit my head on something. But I’m fine, okay?”

Cheese was a fast healer, though Tomato knew that it'd be faster if he didn't fuss over the party pony's wounds. Only one exception had happened so far, he thought as he glanced at the tattered bandages on Cheese's foreleg, which gave him windows to raw pink skin that while not fully healthy, was still better than before.

He pursed his lips. "And uh... the ocean smell?"

"Didn't know who the beach ball belonged to, so I just threw it on the beach," Cheese answered. "It went too far, and I had to save it from the waves."

“Okay… if you say so.” Tomato had a gut feeling that there was more to the story than that, but Cheese was too groggy to be sure. “Now I’ve got another question: why are you growing your winter coat in the summer?”

“Mmm… beats me.”

The next thing they knew, bride and groom came into the plaza. Jelly gasped at the sight of the plaza, and zipped around to look at the décor. “Oh, my goodness! This entire plaza is like… like… a cake!” She took a whiff of the sweet air. “A lovely vanilla and strawberry cake, with peaches and candy flowers and buttercream frosting all trimmed up with gold.” She galloped back to her fiancé and nuzzled him. “Don’t you think it’s beautiful, sweetie?”

Peanut just stood there, looking around. “Uh… yeah! It’s really, uh, pink. Like you, my luuuu… love! Yeah, love.”

Jelly nodded as she held Peanut, and looked to a proud-looking Cheese. “I guess your cousin really knows his party stuff.”

“My cousin?” Peanut looked to the now confused Cheese. “Oh! My cousin, the super duper party pony! That cousin! Hey, cousinly cousin!”

Cheese and Tomato looked at each other, with the latter mumbling, “Okay, that’s weird.”

Jelly turned to her aunt. “Auntie Cherry, I know the first attempt last night wasn’t exactly… uh… organized. But you and the others had great ideas, and Cheese was kind enough to make them part of this and make them work. Still, you being here for the wedding, helping or not, means everything to me.”

“Oh, I know, I know, darlin’,” Cherry said, pulling her into a hug. “I just wanted to help out for my favorite niece’s special day.”

Pearl was by their side in an instant. “Same here. I don’t want to miss my best friend’s wedding!”

Jelly broke the hug with Cherry and hugged Pearl. “Of course! And if you ever find a special somepony, invite me to the wedding! Maybe I could help plan yours.”

Meanwhile, Vic and Lightning were by Peanut, trying to get him to loosen up. Vic was saying, “It looks like your wedding jitters finally hit you, huh? Hey, it’s okay, buddy, Lightning and I are your cheerleaders in this!”

“Uh, yeah, sure…” Lightning said. “I still don’t know if I’ll do any tricks for you.”

Cheese trotted up to them, and shoved his notepad in her face. “You do flight stuff during the reception, I got you a steam machine to write their names with, and when you’re done, the fruit fireworks will go off.” He turned to Peanut. “Hey, where are your folks?”

“Getting ready,” Peanut said.

Cheese took a deep breath through his nostrils, only to pause in alarm. Taking a few more sniffs, he narrowed his eyes. “Huh… well, you might want to get some cologne, cuz, because you smell funny. Really funny.”

Tomato took a couple sniffs of his own. "He needs a shower... and so do you, Cheese."

Cheese rubbed his chin, and muttered, "You know what? I think I might just take one." Cheese started to trot off, patting Tomato on the head and giving him parting instructions of, "Be a good boy and get me a tuxedo. Remember, I'm an inch taller than you."

"Okay, sure, but the wedding's at noon!" As Cheese started to canter out of earshot, Tomato rolled his eyes. "What a flip-flop. He doesn't trust me to help with the wedding but he trusts me to get him a tuxedo without ruining it?"

Vic scratched his chin. "I don't know, you look like the kind of guy that's always dressed sharply."

Peanut shrugged. "I guess your dressage speaks to him about how you treat threads, dude."

Tomato and Vic just stared at him oddly, briefly glancing at in other in hopes the other stallion got it, while Lightning Dust furrowed her brow in confusion and said, "What."

---

Cheese did go back to the house, but he had no intention of taking a shower. He helped Acorn, Cocoa, and Creamy out with their attire and found a tray and wheeled ball rack to carry the cake on, and then saw them off. He assured them that he'll catch up and that he just had a couple more things to take care of.

While there, he took some time to sniff the premises, picking up the scents of several different ponies. He recognized Tomato's scent, and the scent of that obvious poser back at the plaza, but it was clearly Peanut's scent that was the most prevalent in that house. It was a bit difficult to track where exactly Peanut went when all the rooms bore his scent for obvious reasons, but he found that the freshest scent was on the roof.

He took a moment to yawn before making his next move. His nose sticking up in the air, he hopped onto the neighbor's roof, galloped across it and hopped onto the next. And then the next roof, and the next one. Cheese wasn't counting how many houses he was hopping on, his focus on the direction that his nose was taking him.

After another jump, he landed wrong, and he sent red shingles flying as he slipped and fell into a backyard pool. The mare who had been sunbathing at the edge nearly jumped out of her chair at the splash, and stared as Cheese swam back up to the surface.

She looked up at the sky. "Oh my gosh, did you just fall out of the sky?"

Cheese spat out some water. "Nah, I was just roof-hopping and then I slipped. Say, what time is it?"

"Uh... ten-thirty or something."

Well, it was good to know that he had an hour and a half to find Peanut Butter and drag him to the wedding. He hoped that he could pick up the scent again really soon, because he just didn't have the time to search all of Applewood. With that in mind, he started to climb out of the pool.

"Wait..." the poolowner said. "You're Cheese Sandwich! Like, there's no mistaking that cutie mark! Eeeeee!" Her squeal sent Cheese back into the pool. She was too busy bouncing and clapping to notice Cheese's glare. "This is amazing! Cheese Sandwich fell into my pool! I'm, like, a big fan of your parties!"

Cheese forced a crooked smile. "Yay... glad to meet a fan..."

She twirled some of her mane in her hoof. "I know this sounds awkward but... can I have your autograph?"

---

Tomato went into the house, carrying two wrapped suits ready for a wedding day. "Hey, Cheese... I did what you asked. Now let's get ready."

Tomato moved both ears, waiting for an answer. After a few moments, he pouted and said in a slightly higher octave, "Oh, big brother of mine, this tux is clean and dry and waiting for a stallion to wear it. Don't make my errand go to waste!"

Still no answer. With a loudly tapping hoof, Tomato took to shouting, "If you don't come down here and put the stupid suit on this instant, I'm going to make Boneless 2 wear it! I hear he's a really sophisticated chicken!"

The shouting left an echo, and the echo bounced everywhere before reverberating back to Tomato's ears. Gaining a mental picture of the entire layout of the house--guess those leftover bat powers weren't useless after all--he groaned at the realization that Cheese was not in the house.

"For goodness' sake..." Tomato grumbled, glancing at a nearby clock. "This is not the time for him to go out adventuring!"

He snorted. "Eh, knowing him, he'll be back in a jiffy. I better get ready myself."

---

At last, the miracle of miracles happened when Cheese finally picked up Peanut's scent once again. It had taken a little longer and been a little farther than he would have liked, but it was something he'd like to celebrate. Of course, when he looked up to get a good look at his surroundings, he was surprised to find that he was all the way at the Santa Manzana Pier. Looking up at the entrance of the active and lively amusement park full of elated ponies rising before him, he wondered why the heck kidnappers would take their hostages to this pier of all places.

But, the nose didn't lie, the scent trail was picking up here, and stronger than back at Peanut's house.

Into the park he went, weaving around park-goers as his nostrils scanned the boards, though sloppily as he started some ponies by bumping into them or brushing past them. His head swung left and right picking up every smell in the vicinity, which with some being treats like popcorn and cotton candy, was very tempted to be distracted by. He even paused a couple of times to snatch some popcorn or a forsaken carrot dog from the ground, bringing about disgusted looks from adults and loud "eeeew's" from foals.

Then he noticed the scent grow its strongest, and then fade a little as he moved forward. Pausing, he backed up toward the spot, and took an extra strong whiff of the boards there. And then, he placed his ear there, where he heard angry muffled cries, that had been drowned out by the park's noise to those who weren't specifically listening for it. Quite frankly, who would need to?

Nevertheless, Cheese smiled. Bingo.

Sticking his hooves through a crack in the boards, Cheese started to heave and huff and puff. Muscles burning and bulging, and his entire upper body aching, he pulled and pulled, hoping to reach the pony he knew was there. If he didn't break the boards by noon, he was going to blame the long night and that dream about that gang that was too stupid to live. If he did, then hallelujah, his improvised breakfast from the ground had given him a needed boost.

A mare stopped in her tracks to stare at him. "Uh, what are you doing?"

When Cheese didn't answer, she leaned forward and tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me..."

That time, Cheese growled and snapped at her like a dog. Squealing in fright, the mare galloped away and called, "Guard! Guard! There's a guy trying to steal boards and he almost bit me!"

Uh oh. Now Cheese really had to hurry, or else he could get dragged off to jail, Peanut couldn't be saved in time for the wedding, and Jelly would end up marrying some crazy doppelganger instead of the actual stallion she loves. Thus he started to yank on the boards harder, using as much strength as he could muster. He bristled on noticing various patrons pausing and murmuring about his efforts, and tried to ignore them, even as a couple, in an attempt to get him to stop, threw an empty soda cup, a half-eaten bag of popcorn, and the remnants of a caramel apple at him. No matter to him, he still was performing his face-reddening and vein-popping task.

Just as the first mare returned with a security guard, the boards snapped, and he nearly threw the section of pier and its gooped-up passenger in his final pull. He heaved the splinter segment over his head and laughed, crying, "Haha! I've found the Peanut Butter!"

The crowd erupted into confused murmurs as Cheese set the broken boards--held together by some strange green goop--down, allowing Peanut to sit upright. Bound by the goop and wet from whatever the surf did under the pier, Peanut was attempting to either thank Cheese for finding him or complaining about his kidnappers. Of course, seeing as the goop was covering his cousin's mouth, Cheese did him a favor by ripping it straight off his lips.

Peanut gave him a pained smile. "Ow!"

Cheese stuck his tongue out at the green gunk on his hoof and shook it off into the hole. "Okay, what the feta is that stuff and why would anypony use it?"

Peanut spat a few times and groaned. "Ugh, try tasting it. I had that stuff in my mouth all night!"

Cheese sniffed the goop still binding Peanut and started to pull it apart. "Who did this?"

He was about to answer, but then noticed the crowd around them, especially the security guard marching toward them. "Er... let's wait a bit for the crowd to leave and stop taking pictures." He shot a glare at several ponies with cameras. He glanced at Cheese and to the guard now standing right there. "Besides, I think you might be in trouble."

The guard tapped his hoof. "I came here on the assumption that you were stealing surfboards, but I come across an act of vandalism instead."

Peanut looked at a nearby clock, showing less than a half-hour to noon, and sighed. "We've got no time for this, I gotta get to Jelly before things get worse." He looked up at the guard. "Hit me with the fine, officer, I'll pay for the damages. Right now, I've got a little emergency of my own."

"You need to tinkle?"

"No! ...okay, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about."

Cheese looked around, and lowered his head, whispering, "So, what is the emergency, then?"

Peanut glanced around to see if anypony was listening, and then answered, "Changelings."

---

Yet again, Tomato looked at the little clock tower of the plaza. It was just a little past noon, and here he was sitting at the front table of the wedding party. Along with Aunt Cocoa, Uncle Acorn, and Creamy, he was a member of the groom's family table, all spruced up in a black tuxedo. Not the first time he had been in one this summer--the party at Fancy Pants' manor came to mind--but he wasn't one to complain about a nice suit. He had received quite a few compliments over how dashing he looked from some mares, as well as a couple of stallions.

Now, if only Cheese--who by sheer description of his special talent should have been on time--was around. A frustrated Tomato had simply shoved a way-too-small Boneless 2 in Cheese's tux. Funny looks came his way, but he didn't care, he was bringing attention to the fact that Cheese Sandwich--planner of the party and cousin of the groom--wasn't there.

Creamy tapped on Tomato's shoulder. "Hey... don't you think that the fact you put a rubber chicken in a tuxedo is a little weird?"

"I am not letting the tux go to waste," Tomato grumbled. At least the rubber chicken looked pretty sophisticated.

It certainly got the attention of four certain other ponies, who responded in silent, but bitter expressions of, "Really?" Nevertheless, the wedding had to go on.

Pearly Whites had rolled out the white carpet, and the groom, the best stallion, the maids of honor, and the officiant had taken their places. Thanks to a lack of accordion due to a lack of Cheese, some of the shopkeepers scrambled into a mariachi band to play "Here Comes the Bride". And right along with the song, Jelly Jubilee, all dressed up in a white dress of subtle berry, cherry, and strawberry patterns, with blossoms pinned to her chest and hairband, walked down the aisle to meet her groom.

Peanut's side of the family watched both the bride going down the aisle, and her family getting weepy over her. And from looking around, Tomato could see that of quite a few ponies--from Rosita to Cherry Jubilee, and from some of Peanut's basketball teammates to some of the fellow farm workers. He felt a little awkward over being surrounded by great emotions on all sides, while he was just there because of blood relation.

Bride and groom now stood face to face, and the officiant had begun his speech.

"We are all gathered here today under this beautiful sunshine to celebrate the union of two families. Fruits and nuts are foods often eaten together, and in this case, I'm marrying this couple known as Peanut Butter and Jelly. I'd say that they'd make a good sandwich, hm?"

Some of the guests chuckled along with the officiant, and he continued, "How grateful we are for Celestia's sun to be up to its peak today, to bless this happy couple with its warmth. It's fitting that these two had met working at the same farm, where plants grow to bear the things we ponies eat. The plants that grow either fruit or nuts thrive on sunshine, much like this couple will thrive in the warmth of joy. However, said plants also require water, and in many places it comes in the form of rain. Rain can represent sorrow, and this couple needs to be strong to walk through times of sorrow, and bloom into better ponies and a better team.

"In joy or sorrow, in sickness or health, and in calm or storm, marriage is about taking life on together, and any foals that may come in the future would be blessed to have such strong parents. Now, allow me to step back and let bride and groom have their words."

Then, a shout from the aisle rang, "Yeah, I'd like to have my word first; get away from my bride, you fake!"

All turned to the end of the aisle, where Peanut Butter, with clothes sagging, mane drooping and fur clumping in briny dampness, stood with nostrils flaring and a pawing at the ground. Right behind him was Cheese Sandwich, who looked too half-asleep to be angry properly, instead panting like a dog. At the sight of those two, many of the guests started to murmur, wondering what the heck was going on.

Jelly blinked. "Wait... there can't be two of you, can there?" She switched between pointing at either Peanut, brow furrowing in concern.

The Peanut at the altar sneered. "Oh, please, you've got to be one of those crazy look-alikes, dude. I mean, how many ponies would like to cash in on looking exactly like a famous pony?" He pointed to Tomato. "Like, if that guy right there just decided to be Snapdragon Apple for a day."

Tomato sank in his seat, hoping that Cheese wasn't glaring at him.

The Peanut in the aisle raised an eyebrow. "What's the Snap clone's name?"

The altar Peanut's eyes widened. "Oh... easy, his name's, uh... what was it, he mentioned it... oh, right, Tomato! Yeah, duh, of course! It's his cutie mark! Because, like, he's some sort of fancy-dressed tomato grower pony or something, right?"

Peanut nodded. "Yeah, his name's Tomato... but you still flubbed one thing."

"What did I flub, faker?"

Tomato popped out of his seat and shouted, "I'm a business student!"

There was a gasp and a long pause, as ponies looked between the two Peanuts, their gears turning over who the fake in this was. The altar Peanut bit his lip, glancing around the plaza and avoiding eye contact of a scowling Jelly, and then said, "He... is in the ketchup business?"

"He said student, stupid!" Jelly snapped, pawing at the ground. "Who the hay are you, and why did you replace my husband-to-be?"

Maid of honor Pearly Whites held her back. "Careful, Jelly! We don't know what he'll do!"

The fake Peanut hissed, and then leapt up into the air with a flash of green light as he morphed back into a changeling. Gasps and screams came from the guests, most of whom either scrambled to the back of the plaza or hid under tables. Four other guests, however, transformed into changelings as well, and promptly blocked the exit, hissing at anypony who came close.

Both Jelly and Pearl's jaws dropped, and then they clung to each other and screamed. Peanut galloped over to them to make sure they were okay, and then cautiously watched the changelings, trying to anticipate their next move. Both bride and groom's families froze in their seats, looking at each other with an uneasy uncertainty, and a couple of friends, like Vic, Lightning, and Cherry, stood by, ready to defend.

One of the door blockers looked up at the original. "Nice going, Maxilla! Way to totally blow our cover!"

"Well, sor-ry, dude!" Maxilla replied. "How was I supposed to know that punk was gonna mess with me, Abbie?"

"Uuuuuugh!" the one beside Abbie groaned. "I swear, I'm like, totally surrounded by idiots."

"Aww, don't be so down, Ocelli," another one said. "After all, if the Peanut guy didn't break loose, things woulda gone totally smooth..."

Ocelli gave that changeling an odd look. "How are you always so chill, Tenna?"

Cheese backed away from the changelings as they conversed with each other, and stood next to Tomato, adopting a guard stance. "Sorry I'm late, but I smelled a rat and I had to find the real Peanut."

Tomato rubbed his temples and sank in his seat again. "Good for you. I suppose our summer wouldn't have been complete without a random changeling encounter."

"That makes me wonder just how weird your summer has been," Creamy said.

Acorn stared at the changelings at the exit. "And here I thought Peanut was kidding about the changelings."

"He probably was, but turned out to be right. Okay, any ideas on how to get rid of them?" Cocoa Butter asked.

"Yeah, after hearing them talk, I want them gone," Tomato deadpanned.

"Well, we got somepony to inform the police, so..." Cheese paused for a yawn. "...we just gotta keep 'em here..."

Meanwhile, Tenna took a look at Cheese talking with his brother and narrowed her eyes. "You know, it's like, his fault that we were exposed, cuz. I don't know how he did it, but like, I thought we hid Peanut pretty good. What do you think, Mandi?"

Mandi licked her lips. "Thing about Cheese Sandwich... he's one of the most awesome-mazing party ponies in the history of Equestria! I hear that party ponies are a totally rare kind of pony, and they have lots of love for, like, everypony in the country! I bet he's so tasty... let's suck him dry for revenge!"

Abbie giggled. "Sweetness!"

Before anypony knew it, the changelings sprang forward with manical hissing laughter and grabbed Cheese. With the other three hissing at anypony stepping forward to help, Ocelli shouted to Maxilla, "Come on, Maxie! Let's have some lunch!"

Cheese blinked and growled, "Now wait just a--WHOA!"

Changing forms to pegasi, up they carried him, with Vic barely missing a tackle, and the rest of the guests watching as they took him higher and higher. Tomato, in a state of panic, hopped onto the table and tried to pursue them, only for a face first landing on the ground. The other family members at the table winced, and Creamy said, "Tomato, you don't have wings!"

Gosh darn it, I keep feeling those stupid wings! Tomato peeled his face off the pavement. Chin throbbing, he massaged his jaw, and took a look at Lightning Dust at the other table. "Hey! You've got wings! Go up there and help him!"

Lightning shook her head. "Nah."

Tomato felt his face heat up. "Why not?!"

"Why should I bother to save a guy that called me an idiot just for not knowing how to throw a party right? Seriously, everypony's delusional to believe that he's some super nice party planner--he's a prideful control freak! I say he gets what's coming to him."

"Whoa, Lightning, whoa!" Vic said, hopping to his feet. "I know he insulted us yesterday, but I don't think he deserves changeling torture!"

Peanut, Jelly, and Pearl came closer to the circle, with the latter saying, "Look, he was rude, not a monster. I was just content in not speaking directly to him, because I'm not going to make a fuss on my best friend's wedding day, but leaving him to changelings is too far!"

"Yeah, we ain't no heartless outlaws practicin' eye for an eye," Cherry said.

Peanut pointed to the sky. "That goes beyond 'eye for an eye'!" He looked at Lightning. "Besides, this kind of disregard for anyone that gets in your way or insults you is why you got kicked out of the Wonderbolt Academy. It's childish and unprofessional behavior that'll only backfire on you in the end. Rude as he was, he at least tried to make things right... though if he keeps that attitude up, I'm gonna have to hit him again. Now, can you at least do me a favor and keep my cousin from getting hurt?"

Lightning growled, and grumbled, "Fine. But only for my honorary big brother."

She hovered to the food table, took a few veggie empanadas, and asked Rosita, who was hiding under the table, "Hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna need a few of these things."

"Uh... okay?" Rosita answered, climbing out from under there.

As Lighting zoomed upward, leaving her dress behind, Vic then said, "Okay, guys, let's huddle up and form a game plan! We want to be ready for if she drags the changelings back."

"Oh, joy, this'll be fun," Pearl deadpanned.

"Oh, oh! I got an idea!" Rosita exclaimed, trotting to the circle with the others.

"Okay, good," Peanut said. "We need all we've got to keep this changeling gang down..."

---

Trying to look as not suspicious as five pegasus mares carrying an earth pony stallion could be, the little changeling gang tried to make their escape through the sky, hoping to come away from their failed plot with at least something to gain.

"Wow, I'm totally surprised that we got away with that so easily!" Abbie chirped.

Ocelli scoffed. "Still doesn't change the fact that the plan was totally ruined! Getting, like, real love over lame fangirl love would have been great for once! Hmph, at least we'll get to eat the thingy of uh, loving neighbors and strangers and whoever, I guess."

"Hey, I'm weirded out by how this Cheese dude is not trying to escape," Maxilla said.

"He's... uh... wiggling," Mandi said.

Indeed he was, the poor tired stallion. Had he been well-rested, Cheese would have put up a better fight, but as it was, a combination of yesterday's adventure, the all-night party planning, and his search and rescue of Peanut Butter had finally caught up to him, and his struggle was nothing but stupid little leg wiggles. He might have mumbled, "Imma tear you apart..." but it didn't seem he was going to make good on his threat.

Tenna chuckled. "He sounds like he's all beat and stuff. Hope he's not too hurt when he's drained of the love stuff."

Mandi rubbed her tummy. "Ugh... I'm, like, dying of hunger over here! Can I have the first helping?"

Ocelli rolled her eyes. "We're always dying of hunger! But, if you want, you can like, inhale some love... just save some for us, m'kay?"

"I swear, turning into lunch was not what I wanted to do today," Cheese groaned.

Mandi squealed, and opened up her mouth to inhale the love essence, thinking that she'd be tasting the joy of seeing fellow ponies so happy, even if she didn't know just how ponies actually felt it. However, the essence she got instead was akin to trying to chew thick smoke, and despite her efforts to try to feed on it, she was forced to cough it out. With a groan, she descended a little, looking a little green.

"Hey, wait, what just happened?" Maxilla asked.

Mandi looked up. "His magic love stuff's all gross and whatnot! I can barely taste the sweet stuff without choking on all that grossness with it!"

Ocelli scratched her chin, inhaled a bit, and then coughed what little essence she absorbed out. She shivered. "Ooooh... this love's tainted."

Tenna sighed. "Guess we picked the wrong pony to snatch."

Maxilla huffed. "Well, this day was a complete bust. Let's just drop him in the ocean."

A flash of gold and turquoise zoomed over them, and they were rained on with pieces of veggie empanada. While questioning the randomness of that occurrence, they quickly noticed a pegasus mare, the same colors of the flash from before, leading a flock of angry seagulls with the mocking words of, "Yeah, yeah, I hear you, you little rats! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine! Well, lunch is over there!"

She zoomed past again, and the changelings were left at the mercy of hungry seagulls. The flapping and the pecking were persistent, and no matter how the five changelings hissed and swatted at the birds, the gulls would not stop. In the midst of their own complaints about how they didn't have a swarm of their own kind right then, they brushed off as many of the pieces of food onto Cheese as they could and dropped him in hopes of getting the birds off them. At the very least, some of the gulls left to fetch Cheese, while others still fought with the changelings.

Lightning came back to catch Cheese. When the stallion just stared tiredly at her, she merely said, "You're welcome."

She touched down in the plaza and gave him to Creamy and Tomato. "Okay, there, guys, I got him."

The two took him, and Creamy nodded. "Okey-dokey, I guess we'll just go and find him a place to sleep now."

Tomato blew on his forelock. "Yeah, he didn't get much rest the last couple days. I think he had, uh, about an hour last night? I don't know, but he's clearly pooped."

Cheese huffed. "No, I'm not! I would have escaped on my own... eventually..."

"Yeah, sure..." Lightning grumbled, rolling her eyes. She looked up to see gulls following her, and looked at the veggie bits still covering her and Cheese. Sighing and grabbing another empanada, she said, "Okay, guys, now I gotta get rid of seagulls."

As she flew up and Creamy and Tomato left the seemingly empty plaza to put Cheese in a bed, the changelings came down, landing in the plaza with heavy breaths and growling faces.

"Okay... I think killing a lot of the stupid birds got our point across," Maxilla snarled.

Tenna shook her head. "Did we have to resort to animal cruelty?"

"Oh, shut up!" Abbie snapped.

And then Abbie was tackled by Vic, who shouted, "Don't let them get away!"

"Aah! Let me go!" Abbie whined, struggling to break free of the stallion pinning her down.

The little changeling gang wasn't entirely sure what was going on now. First, Abbie was tackled; and then, before they knew it, Ocelli was jumped by Jelly and Pearl with a tablecloth. Maxilla was blasted into the wall by Cocoa and Acorn with their fruit firework launcher, and the two trying to escape were slammed dunked back into the ground by Peanut and lassoed by Cherry Jubilee respectively.

Before the ponies could declare victory, Abbie kicked Vic off her, Ocelli ripped the tablecloth to shreds, Maxilla recovered from the blast, and Mandi and Tenna broke free of their captors. Once again, they attempted an escape, only to find Rosita on the roof, her graying mane blowing in the wind, and a line of cats standing on both sides of her.

"¡Atacad, mis gatitos!" Rosita laughed maniacally, with her army of cats leaping from the rooftops. "¡No les muestren piedad!"

Cats joined the fray, and while the changelings were distracted by the claws slashing at their exoskeleton, the other ponies came at them with the same attacks, though they waited until a changeling was cat-free. A tackle, a tablecloth, a firework, a slam dunk, and a lasso were used yet again, only this time, Cherry Jubilee bolted forward, and tied them up really tight. Once she stepped back, everyone involved breathed a sigh of relief, and those who had hidden around the plaza popped up out of their hiding places and cheered.

Jelly clapped and said to her aunt, "Wow! I didn't realize you were so good with rope, Auntie Cherry."

Cherry beamed. "Well, I was Calamity Mane once."

Peanut grabbed his bride and twirled her around. "Woo! What a wild ride! Aren't I glad that's over."

Jelly giggled. "Well, I guess we have a teensy bit of an idea of how the Royal Wedding went last year."

A scowling Maxilla snarled. "Oh, please, there's only five of us!"

Abbie scoffed. "This is so not fair! We didn't do anything as big as the Royal Wedding thing!"

"No..." Pearl began. "But you did kidnap and replace the groom."

"And stuck me somewhere where I could have gotten sick or injured," Peanut added.

"And tried to kidnap Cheese when he found him and exposed you," Acorn said.

"And who's to say that you wouldn't have tried again with some other celebrity in town?" Cocoa snarled.

Vic shook his head. "Bold move, but I guess we can't all win these crazy battles, huh?" Vic turned to Peanut and asked, "Say, uh, how did Cheese find you? The rest of us were none the wiser, besides the fact that, uh, 'you' acted a little weird."

As Peanut shrugged, Pearl just looked around at the knocked over tables and spilled decor. "Oh, dear, what a mess! Does this mean...?"

"Aw, don't worry, darlin'," Cherry said, patting her on the back. "We know what it rightly looks like. We can sweep this place up like a dust devil and get the weddin' back up 'fore the sun goes down."

Lightning Dust flew in and landed. "Sorry, had to take care of seagull business. Anyway, spotted the police, they're almost here."

Peanut rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks... I'm still surprised they believed me about the changeling thing."

Author's Note:

Friendly reminder that this story takes place circa Season 5.

Was this dumb? Yes. Why did I write it dumb? Because I can and because after a rather disturbing moment last chapter, I figured that we might have a little stupid fun to lighten things up a little. That, and I don't think very many people are reading the story at this point, so I might as well just cut loose with nonsense. And I took too long to write this so I was like, "Screw it".

Given "To Where and Back Again" we can see that Equestria's been a little complacent about the changeling thing. And thus, in my crazy headcanon, Applewood changeling gangs are a thing. They usually impersonate celebrities and feed off fangirl/fanboy love, though at times they do get sick of that and scheme to get other kinds of love.

Cheese needs some sleep.

And lastly, when I was blabbing about this chapter to my cousin when we were going to a Renaissance Fair (it was fun ), she made this joke about the changeling trying to snack on Cheese:

At least something came out of this. *sigh*

Comments

[Blast]

Harold and Kumar?

[SageBrony07]

I didn't see the changeling coming in. Great chapter. I enjoyed it.

[redmar]

This was pretty funny but I hope it won't take too long until Cheese finally gets his memories back.

[Goldfinch142]

Well, at least Cheese's super-smelling ability proved itself to be useful and resolved the situation fairly quickly.

It does make sense that Cheese's magic is almost completely corrupted at this point--not just his party magic, but all of his magic.

Also, that echolocation was cool. That might come in handy someday.

[ChaoticKindness]

This was a fun chapter XD I loved Tomato putting Boneless 2 in Cheese's tuxedo

[howard035]

Wow, Ocelli/Ocellus was a real trouble-maker before she reformed and went to friendship school.

[Sketcha-Holic]

9114803
I wonder if she tells this wild story (among others) to her friends.

[k88a]

"¡Mostrad ellos sin piedad!"

I think you meant No les muestren piedad
Or, in the ‘Spain’ spanish (lol) you're using... No les mostréis piedad

[Sketcha-Holic]

9380350
Ah! Thank you! Glad there was someone to correct me.

[Godslittleprincess]

Well, nice to see that the horrifyingly bad stuff happening to him isn't ALL bad. That being said, he really needs to get that fixed.