Brotherly Bonding Time

by Sketcha-Holic

4.3--Dirty Fighting

The group of six walked through the hills, the mayor animatedly jumping around and chattering away about random subjects. He seemed especially fond of Tomato, or rather his position of being the sibling of a party pony. Tomato wanted to remind him that Marble and Limestone's sister was a party pony, but the small stallion just wouldn't shut up. It didn't help that his voice was just so obnoxious that it grated on his nerves and made his fur bristle. Tomato wished Ginger would tell her husband to calm down and keep his mouth shut.

He glanced at Bluejinx, who had his head slouched forward and was rubbing a temple, and then to the Pie Sisters, who held half-lidded looks and exchanged eyerolls every time that the mayor said something stupid and obvious, with Limestone letting out loud groans and snapping, "Shut up!" every so often, though that was in vain. He looked at Ginger, who showed no reaction to anything. She didn't even appear to emote at any point.

Tomato suddenly found the mayor on his head, curiously holding his forelock and saying, "You know, I've never seen forelock this curled for somepony with straight hair." He yanked it further. "They're usually on those with curly-"

In response to the forelock being pulled, his mane exploded into its natural curls, launching the mayor into the air. Tomato froze as he noticed the others staring at him. He shot a glare at the giggling Marble and guffawing Limestone, who still laughed even when he made it clear that he didn't like it. In fact, they almost seemed to be teasing him.

Bluejinx caught the mayor with his magic, and put him on Ginger's back, saying, "Put a leash on him, please."

"And a muzzle," Tomato added, trying to slick his hair back.

Limestone stared at him as he tried to do so. "You never mentioned your hair was curly."

Tomato groaned. "Yes, it is. Makes it a little difficult to slick back, but I manage."

Limestone and Marble glanced at each other. Then Limestone continued, "Why do you even bother? Trying to keep it straight seems like more work than it's worth--on my farm, doing nonsense with our hair wastes precious rock farming time."

After a couple dozen swipes, Tomato finally managed to slick it back to his usual style, his forelock springing up as it always did. "Well, I'm no rock farmer, I'm a business student. Ponies don't take me seriously with curly hair. Combined with this suit, it looks ridiculous, and ponies have a tendency to stare, which I don't want them to do."

Marble patted at her hair and muttered, "I personally think curly hair is beautiful... our sister pulls it off quite nicely."

Tomato sighed. "It fits her personality... not mine."

Limestone pointed at his head. "Okay, pal, explain how you slicked it back so fast-there's no way naturally curly hair can be that easily managed!"

Tomato's mane exploded again. Tomato was silent for a moment before he growled and glared at Limestone. He went to work at slicking it back again, snarling, "Don't point it out! It refuses to stay whenever it's pointed out."

The mayor clapped. "I like your hair, mister! Are you a party pony, too?"

Tomato turned to show him his cutie mark. "No."

Bluejinx whistled, looking around at the hills nervously. "Um, hey... we should get moving. We have to get to town soon, and I have the feeling that we're not alone out here."

Ginger blinked and said. "Listen to the unicorn. Roanie and Stride are at large, and there's a chance that they'll target us."

The mayor gasped and buried his face in Ginger's red mane, Marble and Limestone merely glanced at each other, and Tomato scoffed, saying, "Okay, Cheese told me that they were last seen in Dodge Junction. Quite frankly, I don't think we'll see them."

They had barely walked a few steps when the ground rumbled. Shortly after, a large Diamond Dog burst out of the ground, mounted by a smug-looking mare, sending dirt flying everywhere in their wake. She was followed by a wicked-grinning stallion doing the same. Then several others riding smaller Diamond Dogs burst out of other places in the ground, leaving holes in the landscape and sending waves of soil falling on the group. Each dog jumped out of the holes and landed before them with a tremendous slam, and then both equine and canine cackled as they laid their eyes on the shocked group before them.

The mare grinned. "Well, well, it looks like we've finally met the mayor of this pathetic town, eh, gang?"

The stallion chuckled. "And looks like he assembled the most pathetic entourage to protect him! He really is a dunce, Roanie."

The members of the group blinked, and then glared at Tomato, who sheepishly shrugged.

Roanie slid off the biggest Diamond Dog, and casually strode toward Ginger. From what Tomato could see, she was definitely a roan, with dark gray legs and face, with the rest of her body looking a lighter gray from the white intermingling with the gray. It surprised him how much she looked like Rarity, though she was an earth pony and had green eyes. She was wearing a brown, wide-brimmed hat, a brown vest, and brown boots. She was dirty from head to hoof, but she was clearly wearing the dirt proudly.

She reached Ginger and thrust out a hoof. "Name's Roanie." She tilted her head toward the mint green stallion on the other big Diamond Dog. "That's my husband, Peppermint Stride. And of course, the gang, and our new Diamond Dog friends."

Ginger swatted the hoof away. "Drop the nice act. I know what you're here for."

Roanie backed up, and scowled at her. She took a deep breath and stood up straight. "Good to know. Then I suppose you know that if you ponies do exactly as I say, nopony gets hurt. After all, need I tell you about the last ponies that refused to cooperate?"

The mayor pulled his face out of his wife's mane, quaking violently. Looking up at Roanie, he sputtered, "W-W-W-What do ya want with me?"

Roanie glared at him. "Your honey figured it out before you did, you idiot. Me and Stride wanna try runnin' a town, and little ol' Nickerlite seems just right for us and our friends. After all, if a knucklehead like you is the mayor, how hard can it be?" Her eyes narrowed, and she snatched the mayor off of Ginger's back. "You best give it up, lest you and your friends meet a very messy end in these hills."

Ginger grabbed the mayor and held him close. "You're not going to hurt him, and I'm not allowing you to run our town into the ground!"

Bluejinx stomped a hoof and stepped forward. "Yeah. Who gave you the right to just demand the position of mayor when you don't even live here? I'm certainly not willing to let you outlaws just waltz in and take over."

The mayor shuddered some more. "I am!"

Tomato glared at him. "You're not helping."

Roanie shook her head slowly, clicking her tongue. "You morons seem to be forgetting something... we're stronger than you, you're outnumbered, and..." She pointed behind her. "We've got the Diamond Dogs on our side."

Bluejinx smirked. "Well... we've got Pies on our side."

Roanie blinked. "Whaddya mean 'pies'? What's pastry got to do with anything?"

Limestone and Marble glanced at each other, with a devilish smirk on the former's face and the latter donning a more serious, stony expression, and nodded at one another. It was then that they bolted forward, rolled into balls, and bowled all the Diamond Dogs over, with the ponies either getting squished under the weight of one of their mounts or flying off in random directions. The sisters sprang out of their balls, and once they landed, they turned around and pawed at the ground, snorting at their opponents.

As Roanie stared in shock, Bluejinx smugly replied, "I meant the Pie sisters there, those tough and lovely mares. They're rock farmers--you know, some of the strongest ponies in Equestria? It's a very good thing that they came along with us."

Roanie growled, and then swung around to punch Bluejinx to the ground. "Shut up, Jasper!"

Tomato jumped at the action, and without thinking, he instantly rammed her away from his friend. As he paused to help Bluejinx up, he asked, "Who's Jasper?"

Dazed, Bluejinx replied, "...the friendly ghost?"

"No, I said, 'Jasper.'"

Bluejinx shook his head. "Well, the only Jasper I knew was my dad, but there's bound to be plenty of other-"

That was when they heard a voice roar, "Nopony touches my wife!"

Tomato was suddenly tackled by Stride, and the two were rolled in a ball, bouncing along the landscape like a tumbleweed. During each bounce, Tomato could barely hear Bluejinx ordering the mayor and Ginger to get help, and Roanie shouting something at Bluejinx. As he and Stride rolled farther and farther, the latter started trying to beat him up.

Tomato's head was dodging each punch from Stride, with the fear that one of those hooves might just crush his head. He could feel one scrape his cheek, and the other nick his ear. Both wounds stung, especially when they hit the dirt, and the rocks that were scattering the ground were no help each time that they stabbed at his back. He could hear his own heart pounding in his ears, and he started praying for a way out of this mess he was in.

---

Meanwhile, Limestone and Marble dragged each pony and Diamond Dog away from the direction that Ginger and the mayor ran. Or rather, they stood in between them and bucked them away.

The ponies were fairly easy to knock out, since they quickly learned that both Pies were too fast to let them pass so easily. They go beyond the imaginary line that was set by the girls--they were met with a pair of gray hind hooves. What had seemed like dainty little mares before proved to be quite the obstacle, and there were hoofprints on the faces of multiple ponies.

The Diamond Dogs were harder for the Pies, however, and one large one in particular leapt over them, barking, "Ribbit!" as he did so. Once he landed, however, an angry Limestone grabbed his tail, and dragged him back to the designated fight area.

Marble grabbed a couple of Diamond Dogs, and threw them into their comrades. She looked back, watching as the mayor and his wife still ran. She saw another of the thugs run after them, and jumped toward him. She landed on his back, grabbed his neck with her hind legs, and then jumped forward, making him tumble forward onto his face. Then, Marble bucked him back to the fight area, hitting one of the larger Diamond Dogs in the face.

Limestone was still pulling the larger Diamond Dog when she was tackled back first to the ground by a couple of stallions. She let go of the dog's tail, and the dog hopped away, croaking like a frog. Her head hurting and her ears ringing, she looked up at the greedy looking stallions above her. She didn't like the smirks they sported, and she was offended that they were even looking at her like that. She snorted, and she kicked the two off of her, rolled onto her stomach, and went back to fetch the ribbiting canine.

Bluejinx was face to face with Roanie. He wasn't quite sure just what he was doing--he wasn't trained in any form of combat. He wasn't even sure if the one thing that he could use--his magic--was even particularly useful for this situation. The best he could do with it was just lift her for a short time to inconvenience her--and even then that required his entire concentration and he couldn't do anything else.

His heart pounded as he and the mare circled each other. He kept glancing at the Pie Sisters, hoping that one of them would come over and save him from this pony. He did not want to be face to face with an outlaw.

The first thing that Roanie did was pounce toward him like a cat, and Bluejinx instantly grabbed her with his magic, making her freeze in midair. She scowled at him and shook his head.

"What a coward you are," she sneered. "Fitting, considering you resemble an old friend of mine."

Bluejinx held his breath, his brow sweating. Already, he could feel himself being strained by the weight of Roanie. She was heavier than Tomato! Still, he still held on, knowing that once she was released, she was not going to have mercy.

Roanie smirked. "Yanno, it was these very hills that I last saw him. I can't help but wonder if your name is Jasper Horseshoe Jr."

A surprised Bluejinx dropped her, and promptly received a buck to the face. He was thrown back by the impact, and rolled in the dust several feet away. He laid there for a moment, feeling the skin around his eye beginning to swell. He shakily got to his hooves, wiping drool from his mouth. It was faster to mentally put the pieces together over what she had said than to regain his balance.

He saw Roanie galloping toward him for another attack, and once again he summoned his magic to make her freeze. However, this time, Roanie only smirked.

"Idiot got caught by the sheriff and farmers living around here, and was forced to work on a rock farm. Hmph, serves him right for sparing that pathetic little unicorn mare. To think he used to be so fiery and daring before getting weak in the knees."

Bluejinx tried to throw her, but his magic failed him, and he found himself thrown, landing on some rocks and receiving some bruises and cuts. Once again, as he was getting up, Roanie came his way, and he stopped her with his magic once again.

Roanie clicked her tongue. "Can't rely on your magic forever, buddy. Besides, you have that little unicorn's eyes. No doubt in my mind that you're Jasper's son. So, where's your Pa?"

Bluejinx bit his lip and looked at the mountains. That was where he was last. Where he was last before he died. That place had ensured that Jasper Horseshoe would never again see his wife or his son. The very thought left Bluejinx misty-eyed, wishing that he was still alive.

He was unsure of the consequences of an honest answer, but either way, it wasn't going to be pretty. After all, he was fighting his father's former gang. He had always wondered what they were like, but he never would have guessed it was the infamous Roanie, Stride, and their gang. He felt his magic waver, so he was going to answer quick.

He took a deep breath as his magic released her. "He's dead."

Roanie blinked, and her brow furrowed. She reared up, and then punched him, making him stumble back and land on some more rocks. She ambled toward him, her face in a snarl.

"Darn it! I wanted to kill him myself! He nearly got me and Stride caught thanks to his stupidity! Good thing it backfired..." She grabbed Bluejinx and brought him up to face level. "Still, I wanted to see him one last time before I spat in his face and threw him off a cliff! Ah, well... I guess you'll have to do... say hi to Jasper for me..."

Bluejinx glared at her, and then used his magic once again. However, he used it to lift several rocks, and chuck them at her with full force. The first rock made her drop him, and the second one made her stagger back. Bluejinx backed up as more rocks pelted her, a smirk of satisfaction on his face.

"Don't get too cocky," he said. "Especially when I can still grab other things with my magic."

Roanie roared, and threw rocks at him back. There was soon a rock-throwing war.

---

"This is stupid."

Cheese gave Cortland a funny look, and nudged him. "Aw, come on, Corty! Nothing wrong with acting like something silently and letting others guess what you're acting like! I mean, look at your pop!"

Cortland looked up at the center of the field, where his father, Haralson, was strutting and sticking his nose up in the air. As ponies laughed, Cortland's face turned red, and he covered it with his hat. "Like I said... this is stupid."

Cheese blew a raspberry and muttered, "Geez, you're grouchier than my brother." He turned his head to look at the hills where Tomato and Bluejinx had gone earlier. "Speaking of whom, shouldn't he and Bluejinx be back by now? I hope they didn't run into any trouble."

That was when he spotted an off white, redheaded mare, carrying a small, purple stallion with a big white mustache on her back. He heard somepony holler, "Hey, there's the mayor!" and soon enough, everypony else had leapt up, and shouted, "SURPRISE!!! Happy Birthday, Mayor!"

The pair had frozen in their tracks, and the mayor gasped upon seeing the party. He screamed in delight, and started running around and rambling excitedly about the wonderful party he had received. He especially screamed upon seeing the pickles, and started to munch on them happily. All the while, his wife just stared blankly at him.

The mayor gurgled, "WOWEE! I didn't expect such a great birthday present!" He galloped toward the giant punch bowl and dived in, swimming without a care. He peeked out of the bowl, spotted Cheese Sandwich squeezing out of the crowd, and waved at him. "Hoo hoo! And the Super Duper Party Pony strikes again! Equestria is blessed to have you!"

Cheese chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head, shouting back, "Hehe, yeah!" He looked at the hills again, and nibbled on his hoof. The mayor and his wife were here, but without Tomato and Bluejinx. He felt an deep pit in his stomach, and he felt like he was going to explode with anxiety. He turned to Ginger.

"Say, uh, Ma'am, did you and your husband happen to pass by two stallions; a short blue, white-haired unicorn and a reddish-orange earth pony about my height but an inch shorter not counting the dark hair which should be slicked back even though it's actually curly and he wears glasses and we have the same eye color and he's dressed all stuffy and businesslike even though he should really lighten up and--"

Ginger stopped him. "Cheese Sandwich, we ran into a gang in those hills."

Cheese blinked. "A... gang?"

Ginger nodded. "A gang of about ten, lead by Roanie and Stride, and they were riding Diamond Dogs. The two stallions you sent to pick us up, as well as two of the Pies, are distracting them while we're getting help... unfortunately, my husband's a little distracted right now."

Cheese's face turned red, and he was grinding his teeth. "And you left my baby brother to fight a gang?! Four against ten ponies plus some Diamond Dogs?! They're outnumbered, even with two Pies at their side! You practically left my brother for dead out there!"

"Calm down, calm down!" Ginger was wide-eyed at Cheese snapping at her like that. "Look, I'm getting the sheriff and some of the toughest stallions in town."

Cheese glared darkly at her as he put a helmet on, and growled in a low voice, "I can take care of them myself."

---

Tomato never thought he'd see the day when he'd be wrestling with a smelly outlaw in the middle of nowhere.

For a guy whose first name was "Peppermint", this guy reeked. Tomato was debating just letting Stride bash his head so he didn't have to deal with the awful smell. Then again, Tomato never wanted a messy death like that, so his head just kept on dodging Stride's punches.

They somehow ended up rolling to a place where Tomato could see the Pie residence, and could feel the presence of rocks everywhere they rolled. He still couldn't get Stride off of him, they were both covered in dirt, and he still had no idea just how to get out of this situation alive. This was something that he couldn't get Cheese or Bluejinx to rescue him in time; he was on his own.

His face ended up hitting the ground, and unfortunately, he got dirt in his mouth. He spat the dirt out, and a glance told him that it had become mud from mixing with his saliva. He looked forward at the rage in Stride's eyes as another punch was thrown. Tomato turned his head, getting scraped by the hoof again, and his tongue just flopping out involuntary. He nearly spit out the dirt again, but looking at Stride's eyes gave him an idea.

As they continued to roll around, Tomato took every opportunity to get some dirt in his mouth. Turning his head to dodge a punch, finding his face forced into the ground, and his feigned attempts to escape the ball, which resulted in him being yanked by the tie back in and hitting the ground face first. He used his tail to redirect the ball into less rocky paths and to make it a little more difficult for Stride to hit him.

He swished the collected dirt in his mouth, trying hard not to cringe at the taste of mud. Still, he kept tight lips as he dodged the punches from Stride, and was gauging for the right moment to strike. His neck was hurting, so he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. As far as he knew, he only had one shot.

After a while, Stride broke the ball, and opted for the option of just lifting Tomato up by the collar so he had a cleaner shot. The scrapes on Tomato's face were not good enough for him, and he was certain that there was no escape for Tomato this way. The younger stallion's lanky limbs could not compete against the older one's muscles, and that meddlesome tail was out of the way.

"Now, hold still; I'm teaching you a lesson in not touching another pony's spouse!"

Tomato glared at him, and merely bent his neck back to dodge the punch that came after that sentence. Though his muzzle got scraped, his head sprung back into place, and in doing so, he spat out the mud right onto Stride's eyes. The bigger stallion gave a shout in surprise, and ended up dropping Tomato in order to wipe the mud out of his eyes.

Tomato smirked and pumped a hoof. "Bullseye!" Then he hopped back up onto his hooves, and sped toward the house.

He reached the house and rapidly knocked on the door, glancing back at Stride. His heart pounded as the bigger stallion had wiped the last of the mud off his face, and was blinking to remove the rest, dirty tears streaking down his face. Tomato pawed at the ground nervously, hoping that Igneous or somepony else in the house would answer before Stride could see enough to find him.

A white mare with grayish green hair opened the door. She looked up and down at the pony before her and asked, "Can I help thee?"

Tomato glanced behind him, seeing a red-eyed Stride gallop toward him. "There's this crazy outlaw trying to kill me."

She looked behind him as well, and snorted. "Of course there is." She trotted out the door and then stood in between Tomato and the approaching thug. She turned around, and once Stride was close enough, she shot out her back hooves, knocking the pony out with a single buck. Then she turned around, poked the unconscious stallion, and grunted in satisfaction. "That should do it."

It was then that Igneous came out of the door. "Cloudy, who's at the-" He spotted Tomato and grunted. "Thou hast returned quickly. What be the emergency?"

Cloudy pointed at Stride on the ground. "This fellow was bothering him."

Igneous blinked and approached the unconscious form. He took a deep whiff of him (much to Tomato's confusion), and said, "No doubt about it, this pony is Stride from that gang he leads with Roanie. I had a feeling they were around here..."

"Have you met them before?" Tomato asked.

"One of their members was caught, and worked here to be reformed with other criminals years ago, before our eldest daughter was born. Luckily, he was one of those who was successfully reformed." He grunted as he turned to the hill. "Come, Cloudy, let's check on our daughters--if they sent this fellow over here for help, that means they may be having trouble."

Cloudy nodded, and the two galloped off into the hills. Tomato stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do. He looked at Stride, and though he was certain that pony was going to be out for a while, he didn't want to stick around and find out. Plus, he was worried about his friend.

So, he took off after the couple.

---

Marble panted as she chased a pair of ponies and a Diamond Dog the direction away from town. Her coat was soaked with sweat, and she could hear her own heartbeat, and wondered if anypony else could hear it. Her throat stung and her lungs felt like they were going to burst. But she kept on running, not even pausing as she scooped up dirt and chucked it at the thugs. She hoped that the morons would fall into one of the holes, but much to her chagrin, they ran around them, and she unfortunately tripped into one of them.

After her face hit the dirt at the bottom, she got up, and took a moment to catch her breath. How did those bandits manage to enlist the help of those Diamond Dogs? She had a gut feeling that they bribed them.

She climbed out of the hole, and resumed her gallop. She reminded herself that she and her family had defeated Diamond Dogs before, and this was no different--aside from the bandits. Still, the fact that they kept on scattering was frustrating, and there was also the matter of how they were distracting her and Limestone from helping Bluejinx with Roanie.

The unicorn was having a bad time. He was covered in cuts, bumps, and bruises, and he had a black eye. Each effort to stop Roanie with his magic had lasted a shorter time than the last, and Roanie was breaking out of them, and aiming rocks at his horn. Bluejinx loped around her in an effort to dodge, though he wasn't fast enough to keep himself from getting hit by rocks.

At one point, a rock hit his leg, and he stumbled face first onto the ground. Gritting his teeth, he tried to get up, but he cried out and fell once again. Bluejinx looked up at the evil smirk Roanie sported as she trotted toward him.

Marble wanted to help him, but unfortunately, a couple of Diamond Dogs had grabbed her by the tail and were pulling her away. She protested and dragged them forward, reminding them that they couldn't move her that easily. And then they were reminded of her sister when they were rammed away by Limestone.

"Grrr, I wish I was as strong as Maud!" Limestone complained.

Marble sighed. "So much for your pride. I wish she was here..." She looked at Bluejinx once again. "Come on, we need to help him!"

Limestone sighed. "Why did he think he could take on a bandit as notorious as her? The lunatic."

"We'll ask that later, let's go!"

They had barely sprinted forward when they were grabbed by the big ribbiter and his equally large partner, being ridden by two of the outlaws. The two ponies cackled at them.

"Good going, Hank and Goliath!" one hooted. "You dogs seriously have a problem with these ponies? You two big ones just need to grab 'em and your buddies'll take care of the rest!"

Limestone growled at them. "You better let us go, bub! Don't make me break your arm!"

Marble snorted. "Do we need to remind you what happened to Bert and Ernie?"

Hank and Goliath looked at each other nervously, and tightened their grip on the sisters. The ponies just laughed, and one of them hollered, "I sure hope you're joking just to scare us! Because seriously, how could two pretty little ponies like you deal with big dogs like these?"

That was when a furious Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz came speeding in, and before anypony knew it, they had rammed the two Diamond Dogs in the gut, knocking them over and making them drop their daughters. They bounced on back, catching their daughters and then giving them a brief hug of relief before setting them down.

"Good heavens, how did this mess come about?" Cloudy said. "I'm just glad you're unharmed."

"I know we raised you well in defending yourselves, but being outnumbered like that could have made serious wounds far more likely," Igneous said.

"We're fine," Marble said. She pointed to where Bluejinx was. "But we can't say the same for Blue--"

"Hey, wait, what's Potato doing with Roanie?" Limestone interrupted.

Igneous turned, and discovered that Tomato had hopped onto Roanie and was pulling on her neck to force her away from Bluejinx. With a gasp, he shouted, "What dost thou think you're doing?! Roanie's more dangerous, thou fool!"

Tomato didn't listen. Anger had overtaken any fear that he had, and to see this criminal laying down a beating on his most faithful friend had made any self-control evaporate, and that same old colthood impulsiveness had arisen within him. He knew he couldn't win a fight against her--but that doesn't mean he couldn't distract her any way he could. He started to consider doing his mud-spitting trick like he did with Stride.

Unfortunately, Roanie grabbed him, threw him over her head, and slammed him into the ground. She pinned him down, and snarled in his face.

"You think a noodle like you can wrestle me?" She reared up one hoof. "I bet I could bash your head in with one punch!"

Before she could strike, however, a great BOOM sounded, and she was blown away by what seem to be a giant, flying pie. Tomato blinked at the sudden and seemingly random thing that saved him, but from the corner of his eye, he spotted a colorful tank. The pieces came together in his head, especially when the pony that sat on top of the tank slid off and landed in the dirt.

Cheese Sandwich held a solemn glare as he marched over to Tomato, picked him up, and dusted him off. Then, he continued on to the splattered remains of his giant cream pie, with a dazed and messy mare sitting in the middle of it. He stopped short of the pie, and held his stony look.

Roanie looked up and groaned. "Great, another noodle? Just who do you think you are, blasting a pie at--"

"No. Who do you think you are?" Cheese chided in a gruff voice. "I've heard of you and your gang--robbing ponies, beating them, leaving them for dead... I do not understand in any way how that could be fun. And I'm a party pony--I practically live and breathe fun! What kind of sick pony gets their kick out of making others miserable?"

"Aw, who are you to judge, you son of a donkey?"

Cheese shook his head. "Using slurs like that is low. If you're miserable, there's no need to bring others down with you. I was miserable once, but I dedicated my life to making others happy. It's a heck of a good medicine, don't you know?" He narrowed his eyes. "But, if you're perfectly happy with just making ponies suffer, not caring how much they hurt, whether from their injuries, or suffering from trauma, or losing precious memories, or being unable to pay their bills... then I don't understand you. If there's anything Equestria doesn't need, it's criminals who make the lives of nearly everypony that much harder!"

He snorted and turned around. "I suggest finding a different way to use your special talent that's a lot more worthwhile and a lot less destructive. Everypony's lives will be better off that way... including yours. In the meantime... prepare for a comfortable time in prison." He looked back. "And lastly... nopony harms a single hair on my baby brother."

He marched away, glancing at the other thugs and Diamond Dogs, who were just staring at his party tank. Normally, he'd be concerned if ponies were scared; but this time, he was perfectly content with it if it meant that they wouldn't hurt anypony else while the thing was still around. He looked at the Pies, and almost immediately his coldness snapped into a sunshiney demeanor as he waved at them and holler, "Howdy, Iggy, Cloudy, Limey, and Marble! Beautiful day for a party, isn't it?"

Igneous sighed and shook his head. "I don't understand that colt. I do understand why Pinkie considers him a friend, though."

"Birds of a feather," Cloudy mumbled.

Cheese walked to Tomato, who was trying to help Bluejinx up. "Oh, man, ouch... you don't look so good."

Bluejinx glared at him. "I don't feel so good, either..." He looked at Tomato. "How come Stride didn't pummel you badly?"

Tomato rubbed the back of his head. "I, uh... spat mud in his face." He noticed the other two staring at him, and said, "I'll tell you later."

Cheese nodded, and then looked beyond the party tank. "Don't worry, guys, we've got some backup on the way, and this gang will finally be behind bars. Now, to get Blue here some medical attention..."

Author's Note:

This part was originally supposed to be in the last chapter, but then I decided to make it easier on me to break it into two. Still, this is the longer one of the two.

Oh, look, outlaws! Oh, look, Diamond Dogs! Oh, look, Pies!

...this chapter and some future plans make me wonder if I should change up the tags a bit...

Comments

[SageBrony07]

Awesome battle. I loved the use of mud. Also go Igneous and Cloudy saving the day. I can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks for the update.

[Bluegrass Brooke]

Well, it was an interesting chapter, but hard to follow! So much going on. Man, I felt sorry for Bluejinx though, I hope he's okay.

[Jordan179]

He shot a glare at the giggling Marble and Limestone, who still giggled even when he made it clear that he didn't like it. In fact, they almost seemed to be teasing him.

(*snerk*) Yes, almost ...

"Don't point it out! It refuses to stay whenever it's pointed out."

Wait ... Tomato's a reality-warper regarding his hairstyle?

And of course Limestone and Marble would know all about that kind of hair!

The Diamond Dogs were harder for the Pies, however, and one large one in particular leapt over them, barking, "Ribbit!" as he did so.

Hey, it's Hank! Nice to see that he exists in this worldline too!

Roanie roared, and threw rocks at him back. There was soon a rock-throwing war.

I got my first-ever stitches doing something like this at age 10.

She looked behind him as well, and snorted. "Of course there is." She trotted out the door and then stood in between Tomato and the approaching thug. She turned around, and once Stride was close enough, she shot out her back hooves, knocking the pony out with a single buck. Then she turned around, poked the unconscious stallion, and grunted in satisfaction. "That oughta do it."

Your Cloudy is awesome. Her awesomeness is beginning to bleed into my version of her -- I think when I resume Pinkie Sense and Sensibility, I'll give her more moments to shine.

In my fanon, Igneous still sometimes tends to perceive his wife sometimes as the (relatively) dainty and refined young lady he courted. Then again, he's a stallion who in that fanon went toe-to-toe with an attacking Shadow-possessed Dragon on one occasion, so he's no wimp himself! And he loves his wife very much. Ultimately, though, he knows from experience that Cloudy is very tough ... no pushover. She comes from a line of Ponies whose ancestress was told to "Go, farm rocks" by a Chaos God -- and figured out how to do it.

That was a great battle scene. Cheese, Tomato, Bluejinx and the Pies got their chances to be Badasses. And we learned a little more of Bluejinx's background.

And one should never mess with the Pie Family.

TYPO

She reminded herself that she and her family have defeated Diamond Dogs before

"Had" defeated. Past tense.

[ChaoticKindness]

Having read The Rock Farmer's Daughters also, I must say that I love your fight scenes! You describe the action very well. Also, it was very interesting to see Tomato fight!

[FanOfMostEverything]

I think I'm beginning to understand. Tommy may not be a party pony, but he could have been. And the thing about humor is that it's a relative thing. Almost everything is funny to someone, especially gags like criticism-sensitive hairstyles and tempting fate. But if you're not in on the joke, then you're the brunt of it. You're not the one in control; you're just part of the act.

In less metaphysical matters, excellent fight scene. Good tension and choreography all around, especially the double dose of rescuing cavalry. (I suppose they're all cavalry, but still.) Hopefully, Tommy won't find a way to twist this into a form of self-loathing. He probably will, sadly, but I can at least hope.

[Drifting Heart]

I love your fight scenes and the return of hank XD. Its nice to know that certain characters from RFD also exist in the canonverse as well.

[insolentboi]

"Shut up, Jasper!"

Must not make reference.Must not make reference.Must not make reference.

I think I failed

[Fionn]

Don't Cheese off Cheese he has heavy partillary.

[Dashie04]

6054884
You mean that one character from DQXI who calls you out for being Darkspawn?

Wait, different Jasper.

[Godslittleprincess]

Hey, look at that. Tomato can actually hold his own for a little bit in a fight. I mean, at least he's less damaged than Bluejinx is.