I'm sorry, this pacing is much too fast and wonky for me. I'm going to have to stop here.
I have a few small concerns to note, hopefully you can fix them.
-They just met, they aren't even actually friends yet, I know this can happen in real life, but stories need immersion, not just talking and moving.
-The settings are not described. I don't know the restaurant they went to, although I don't need to know the name, what does it feel like? It's ur warn there? What does it smell like? How many ponies are there?
-I had no clue Vinyl was talking to Octavia until she said here name, you could have described the mare, or said she was grey, looked out of place, something.
-Describe the characters, was Vinyl wearing glasses?
-Don't forget to pace and build a relationship with your characters!

That's my two bits, please keep it up. I hope you can fix these minor things and make the story more immersive!