“Twilight, Twilight. Pinkie Pie needs your help, summoning Zecora for a special Ceremony!” Scootaloo pronounced as she faced the Princess of Ponyville in her new castle, after Spike had escorted her to the Royal library.
“Pinkie Pie needs a Coronation? Who or what for?” Twilight inquired.
“I do not know, she never said. Yet, if she said it, it is bound to mean something and be hilarious; once we have seen it play through?” Scootaloo offered in a bewildered tone of voice.
“What baffles me is just that she asked for Zecora, I could have Celestia, Luna and Cadence here within a day, if it was that urgent. She knows that. Yet she is promptly asking for Zecora. A Coronation?” Twilight pondered.
“If Spike sent a message, they would have it in the same instant. We all know Alicorns are fast, when they need to be some place!” Scootaloo pondered in response.
“Yes, we can move very fast, if and when it is required. Since she didn’t give me much to go on, there is little to nothing to prepare. I’d better be going to invite Zecora. You tell Pinkie Pie that I am off on her request, would you?” Twilight responded, as she left the library in haste.
“While you are out, I will let Pinkie Pie know!” Scootaloo responded.
At this point, Twilight Sparkle was cantering towards my hut; while Scootaloo trotted to Pinkie Pie at the Sugar-Cube Corner, in order to announce that she had explained what little Pinkie Pie had given her to go on, as she sent Twilight towards me.
For some reason; it was an enjoyably, calm and quiet day in my hut in the wild forest of Everfree. I had set off to enjoy it this way. Apparently I had nothing special I had to do. All the herbs I could think of were currently plentiful in my supply cabinets; where I commonly keep them for later use, in remedies and potions.
All of a sudden, a Pony came bursting in, knocking eagerly on my door; though quietly waiting for my response in a more polite than normal, manner. I had a feeling it was Twilight Sparkle. Not so much in how she knocked on my door.
As I had gotten to the door and opened; I could clearly see my premonition confirmed as I saw her face in the doorway, as I took a step back and to the side; thus inviting her in.
“Greetings!” I merely uttered, as she closed the door firmly behind her.
“Greetings, Zecora. Thank you. I have been given a most urgent and very important invitation. Pinkie Pie delegated to me to hold a Coronation. For some reason, most if not all details has been withheld, so I can’t really go into any further details at this time!” she explained carefully, in her politest voice.
I had to consider what she had brought before me with great care, which may be why she had been sent to me in the first place. Information withheld was no excuse to deny her what she had asked of me. Whatever the reason, from what I know, this one pink mare had a knack for venturing out on many an unknown and thus unpredicted path.
Ponies had never been required a Zebra to be present at any event before, not an outcast in exile like me. Never for a coronation either. From what she had stated, the details may be given on arrival; when they could be delivered directly. That would be when I was to be told.
For some reason, something told me; I couldn’t deny her the requested services. As silly as their initial fear had been; they had soon realized the error of the unfounded fears they had made up, around what they had initially perceived about me.
“A Coronation for you I will perform as desire, when you call to inspire. I will be there, the request is fair. Just let me know when I am needed where!” I put forth in rhyme.
“I thank you, Zecora. I know you will manage to handle it magnificently. Ponies will talk about the event and remember you for times to come!” Twilight pointed out.
How was I to react, what could I possibly add. Not that I care much for the attention it may bring, regardless of the outcome of what she had proposed. I am honour bound to stick to my promise, either way.
“Princess of Ponyfolk I trust, I will be there and do what I must. Your thanks is all I need, since I harbour no greed!” I then uttered in afterthought.
Since I had told her what she wanted to here, what I knew I had to do, she was eager to leave me in pease to continue my business. With that, I saw her to the door, following her with my gaze for a moment and closed the door. I followed her moves from within the safety of my hut for moments longer, before I turned my attention to my own, knowing her to canter back to her village, to Ponyville and announce the happy news of my cooperation.
Once I had seen Twilight Sparkle canter out, I knew she was to be home at her castle and the safety within. I harbour no fear for her sake, for her person. I had known her as much too capable a Pony to warrant fear for her, particularly on a day like this.
As Twilight reached the castle, a surprise was soon to hit her. Pinkie Pie had already arrived with a small group of Ponies she did not know of, or know. Yet, there was no cause of alarm. If they had come with the pink mare, everything was safe.
“Hiya, Twillie!” Pinkie greeted her friend as Spike slammed it shut behind his purple friend.
“Greetings, Pinkie. I found her at her hut. She promised to perform your ceremonies for you!” Twilight put forth with no further ado.
“Great, great!” Pinkie burst out, beaming.
“You are quite welcome, Pinkie. For you, I would go much further, and you know it!” Twilight responded.
“These are my new friends; Breezer, Constellation, Pie Chaser, Cherry Fillings, Daisies’ Treat and Clover Treaties!” she pronounced, nodding at the ponies in turn, from the Pegasus, to the light grey Unicorn mare, the deep purple Pony with leafy green mane and tail, the red mare with green mane and tail, the pale yellow mare with vibrant blue to cyan mane and tail, green mare with blond main and tail and the green mare with minty mane and tail.
“Greetings, Breezer, Constellation, Pie Chaser, Cherry Fillings, Daisies’ Treat and Clover Treaties. I hope you will feel welcome in Ponyville. This is after all a very friendly little village!” Twilight added.
“We have only seen friendly Ponies this far, although you are the second Pony we’ve seen, Twillie, second only to Pinkie!” Clover responded with a slight giggle to her voice.
“Pinkie Pie is among the nicest Ponies you could possibly meet, always ready to throw a party and spread joy to any and all. She has the habit of using Pet Names or diminutive forms of names. She could be quite the hoof-full and can be something to get used to, if you haven’t met such a bright and lively Pony before!” Twilight pointed out cheerfully.
“Twillie, you think you could let them stay over at your castle for a few days? They would need somewhere to stay and would need to rest. You have any spare room where they could sleep?” Pinkie Pie asked Twilight.
“Either the basement or the second floor would work, if these arrangements work with you?” Twilight suggested.
“Anywhere warm with room for a bed is fine by us!” Constellation confirmed.
“The basement would most likely be preferable, if you don’t mind, Twillie?” Clover added.
“Then I could follow you there right now, so you could all settle in comfortably well before the night?” Pinkie offered.
“Thanks, Pinkie and Twillie!” Constellation pronounced.
Those dialogues are just tragic, did you read it by yourself?
5349221 I do read every line I write several times, but most of it is segmented.
You can't check a story without reading it several times over, but you rarely do read the entire chapter in a single go.
Not all stories featuring Pinkie Pie are all hyper, bouncy and comedy, right?
In a sense, I think the premise for this story does hold a few sad to tragical elements, I hope it is these that you see reflected in the dialogue.
Although it could be helpful if you could explain a bit further.
5349413
example is when scootaloo talk with twilight and its fell like robots talking. Not counting that twilight is OOC, last dialogue with them is ideal example of strange repeating instead of scootaloo saying 'ok' and runing then he says that what twilight ask him like he didn't heard her.
5350853 Could you elaborate on this?
If she is OOC, how would you have expected her to (re)act in the situation?
Just cutting that conversation down?
5352845
for sure less stating the obvious.
twilight act like pinkie was celestia no question and accepting everything even if its odd (odd for pinkie) and even that asslicking (assuring her that she will do more) like pinkie was in some kind of depression or something
5352916 Now you are starting to make sense, at least I have a clue as to what you were telling me to look for.
Pinkie isn't Celestia, but she does know a few things few Ponies has a clue about, from what I have seen.
There is a Question as to what is obvious to the characters respectively audience, since these are separate.
I also need some continuity points sprinkled in to keep things as close to canon as the story requires.
Speaking of obvious, this is well after the event with Tirek.
5354063
yeah im sadly bad at explaining
but you had situation
-go get pinkie im gonna go get friends
- ok im gonna go get pinkie you go get friends.
it was like uhh strange
5354558 hmm, then you need to work on how to express yourself.
could you also try to point at where and what bothered you most, so I can see what I can do about it?
5365683
mostly dialogues and how out of place they were
write next chapter and maybe i will give something more because i don't remember much now xd
5365889 I have Two chapters completed, awaiting publication on their respective due dates. I could go over them in order to spot anything that isout of order.
For now, I am working on building up the scene that is supposed to explain why things are where they are, for the story I had in mind telling.
Question is, would this story be best served, if the past with the reasoning behind it was ignored, or explained as thurowly as possible? Personally, I chose to explain what leads up to the story as such.
Edit: Came to think of it, Pinkie Pie is friend with anyone, so long as you don't openly declare enimity towards her and what she stands for, she feels the constant urge to make every individual, Pony or otherwise happy.
Could you give her a reason to break off the newly established friendship?
5368280
pinkie promise broken :p?
because i don't see anything other with 'new' relationship, pinkie can be dense as neutron star then even verbal attacking her or her family/friends can not work.
5368508 Maybe I should have started by asking if the Premice could hold for an Alternative Universe story?
This may, or may not be the final version of how the story goes down, partially since I have the habit of going over things after a few months from the time it was published.
Doesn't matter how ight it felt the first time around, you are likely to find something to fix or make better somehwere along the line.
For now I am going with a few chapters for preparations and building up the story, before any mayor event like the Coronation is to take place.
Of course, what will her time as Queen be like, when she finally does go there and how will it affect the Ponies of Ponyville?
There are the two occasions when she gave up on some(one), but that did take some serious effort for her to go there. Besides, very few things actually do tip her over and she seems to make the effort to go beyond reason before she does tip over too.
For this case, I guess Gilda is the best sample to compare with?
For the record, she did have a Positive interaction with at least One Changeling in Canon, which some may dispute, but the brief moment is fun to watch and for all I care, she enjoyed it.
"Do me, do me!" said Pinkie Pie to the Changeling, who acomodated her request a moment later.(Canterlot Wedding)