I'm Sorry.

by Dawn the Pegasus

Chapter 1

I knew it had to come one day or another. It happens to everypony. I didn't expect it to come so soon. I just couldn't take it all in. It was my turn to move on, but I didn't wan't to. I would try everything I could to change my fate, and tried I did. But sometimes, fate can't get rewritten.

---

Normally I just walk around and get the occasional, "Hello," or "How was your day?" I'd always respond, "Good, and how about you?" From there they'd either give a short one or two sentence reply, or an elaborate account of their day. I never minded. I enjoyed listening to the lives of other ponies. Sometimes although, I knew in the back of my mind that their time was growing short. I never acknowledged it to them, I always wanted to find out they way they wanted to. It was their life after all, not mine.

But today was different. I got too much attention. Everypony I passed asked me how I was feeling. I dismissed most of the questions and comments. I didn't want to hurt their feelings or anything, but the attention was too much to bear. Lowering my head in attempt to disappear, I headed straight for my destination. It had been a tiring day for me, and I needed my sleep, otherwise I may never wake up to create dawn once more in the morning. That was the scary part. Everyone knows when your breath is getting short, and they unintentionally let you know about it as well, but the thing is, no one speaks of the exact date aloud. You never know when you'll go. Attention is just your only warning that your time is near.

Stepping up to the door of my humble dwelling, I let out a heavy sigh. I was going to miss this place. It has been my only place where I really felt safe. The slightly peeling sky blue paint, every 458 roof shingles, the faded brown door with squeaky hinges, all of it. I placed a hoof on the door and pushed it inward, in-taking the dusty aroma of my house. I looked up and and was not surprised to see him in a seat at the table, the Doctor. Ever since he came to Ponyville we became the best of friends. Even though we had many differences, we made a connection. He has been one of the only comforts I've been allowed to live with, but I don't mind.

He walked towards my direction, meeting me me at the door. One look at him said everything. Just like everypony else, he knew my expiration date was coming. I hated it, and I hated that he had to bear with the fact. I look at him, and just see many more years of good health and possible happiness. "Dawn," he starts, with those sad blue eyes. I don't give him the chance to continue. I knew exactly what he was going to say, it wasn't like I heard the same words thousands of times earlier in the day. Sulking towards my bedroom, I just couldn't stop myself from letting my thoughts wander. How will I go? When will I go? Where will I go? Why will I go?

I climb onto my bed and under the sheets, curling myself into what Doc would call "a cute little ball of blue fur". When that term came around, I have no idea. It just sort of popped out of his mouth one day and I just went along with it. That type of thing happens a lot with us. We just seem to roll along with things. Looking towards the other side of the bed, I find his face looking up at me. "Hello, cute little ball of blue fur." He smiled and nudged me playfully. That was another one of the things that just randomly happen. We have unannounced sleepovers all the time, in each others beds. It's not like we sleep together in the way normally thought. We aren't seeing each other or anything if you know what I mean. We are just friends. My guess behind it is that we keep each other company. We both have no family, so life is lonely. Maybe that is another reason why we bonded so well.

I laugh a little nervously. I know what he was trying to do. He wouldn't be able to cheer me up this time. He moves to get under the covers, and I turn to face him. Normally, right now we would probably be making some jokes, playing a game, or something fun. But tonight, there is tension in the air. I just look down and stare at my hooves. There is nothing for me to say. This whole time, I just feel... awkward. There is really no other word to explain it. What seems so ordinary, isn't.

I shrink into myself, trying to disappear, but that's impossible. At least I would be gone then. I sigh, and my mane falls into my face. It always falls into my face, no matter what I try. Pony tail, gel, mane clip, everything. It just does it. But yet I never get it cut, I don't know why, I just don't. Maybe it's just for reasons like this. I don't know... Anyways, all the tension breaks me, and I start crying. It was a cry that wasn't quiet, but not loud, and it wasn't sobbing, and it wasn't just teary eyes. I guess the Doctor noticed my crying, I don't know how he could have missed it, but he still noticed. He took a hoof, and put it under my chin, bringing it up with a single fluid movement. He brushes my mane away from my face, opening the curtain to the rest of the world, to him.

He smiles shyly, "Hello." I give him a smile in return. A smile works just like a mask. It hides things from the view of others, but it is used to give a false sense of reassurance, a false sense of security. His smile drew me out of the comfort of my isolation, and out into the open. Where I could easily be attacked and hurt, including by him. I've learned to not love. For when the ones you love or hurt or lost, it also hurts and losses you. I didn't need anyone to tell me that, once was enough. But I was lost in the Doctors eyes. They were beautiful, alive, and so full of, love. For once I actually saw my best friend for what he truly was, a handsome stallion. Then I noticed something else, he didn't just have love in his eyes, it was inside of me as well. I loved him inside and out, my friend, the Doctor.

I moved towards him, settling my head underneath his chin. Instead of moving away like I half expected him to, he closed the little of space between us and nuzzled me. Her, I would normally blush, but the circumstances prevented otherwise. There was just so much at high stakes. I half closed my eyelids, bathing in the warmth radiating from the Doctor's body. This jest felt right, him and I laying in bed, in each others embrace.

The restlessness of the day's events started to take its toll. My wings drifted form their closed position. One covering the rest of the bed between myself and the edge, and the other on to the Doctor, acting like another blanket. My eyelids slowly closed, and the corners of my lips lifted into a real smile, not just a mask, but a real sincere smile. It was the first one I've had in ages. Letting out a sigh of exhaustion, I open my mouth before it was too late.

"Doctor?"

"Yes Dawn?" From the tone of voice, I knew he was just about to enter Luna's realm, just as I was.

"When will I go?" I hoped he was confident enough to tell me. He was always a very talkative pony. But sometimes there were things left unspoken, no matter the dire need.

Silence. No response. I should have seen this coming. Why would he tell me? No one should know the date of their own departure, so what makes me any different?

I was so tired that I almost didn't hear what came next. Possibly what could have been the most important word in my life, "Friday." Friday was always my favorite day of the week. Why did it have to be Friday of all days? Why not Tuesday? I've never really liked Tuesdays... In fact, today was a Tuesday. If I leave Friday, then I only have three days left. Three days of endless torture.

It was then I fell into the dark abyss of sleep with one thought still on mind, Three days.

Comments

[Matthew DePointe]

I'm honored that I will be the first comment on your story. I would like to begin that I also like Dr. Who and most affiliated company, O.C's or not. First of all, there are a few grammar issues, mostly errors in past tense. If you would like me to point them out to you, then PM me. Second, hopefully you can give us more insight into why she is dying. Is it an illness or a freak accident that she can't prevent? I would also love to ask how long it took you to write this story, just because I am interested in trivial details like that.

Overall, I think if you go line by line editing this piece, you could truly have something unique. I liked the story, and you give a good direct characterization to the main character.

P.S Dr. Who is awesome!

A billion bits to you,
Matthew DePointe

[Winter The Gimp]

Hmmm...

The only problem is.. Well, I can't find out why..

The explanations of their moments? Somewhat, I suppose.

7/10. Good, but I don't get it. How do hey know when they're going to die? There should be some kind of thing that goes on in their heads or something.
Good concept, okay execution, not any errors I caught.

[Greenback]

Intriguing idea...I'll be curious to see how this pans out! Three days is plenty of time for potential drama, fulfilling life goals, reconciling with loved ones, or going bonkers and going on a massive shooting spree.

One thing I spotted: "I enjoyed listen to the lives of other ponies." This should be, "I enjoyed listening to the lives of other ponies."

[Dawn the Pegasus]

5320654 I got the idea from a friend, and it took around a day to get the concept and a brief plot in mind,. From there I just wrote this first chapter later in the day. Sorry about the grammar, I usually am pretty good about using correct grammar as I go along, but sometimes writers miss some errors. About why she is dying, it is something to be revealed in the last or second to last chapter. No one knows how the others will die, they only know the date.

Thanks for your opinion and help! Doctor Who is truly amazing!

Dawn

[Dawn the Pegasus]

5320669 With the whole knowing when they die thing, It's just something that comes natural to them. It comes to them as easily as speech comes to us. It may take sometime to understand it, but once it's mastered, it just comes to them as a second thought.

What do you mean by explanation of their movements?

[Dawn the Pegasus]

5321157 I am going to try to make the three days as fulfilling as possible.

And thanks for the correction, I'll change it. It's hard to spot my mistakes sometimes.

[thisistheusernameichose]

This is definitely a hidden gem on this site. I'm surprised it doesn't have more views.

[Dawn the Pegasus]

5433397 Thanks. That means a lot to me. I only I had more time to update it, then it might have more views, but I don't always have access.