Welcome to the show
Twilight walked off the stage and back to the Dazzlings. Adagio was waiting for her by the entrance.
“Wow Twilight, I didn’t expect that to come from you.”
Twilight sighed. “Do you think I was too harsh?”
“Not at all Twilight, you told them exactly what for. You spoke your mind and Trixie finished the job, the Rainbooms got what they deserved. Don’t you think so Twilight?”
“I suppose.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about. Everything is going according to plan.”
Aria blew hair out of her eyes and said, “Don’t mess up this time Adagio. I don’t want to wait another thousand years for something like this, again.”
“Everything will be fine Aria. Things will be different this time around, I can feel it. We are going to get our true Equestrian magic back and then we’ll make everyone in this pathetic little world adore us.”
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“It’s been nice knowing you, bye.”
Spike was playing with his dog toy behind the equipment when he heard Twilight’s voice. He stayed hidden until he thought the coast was clear, then he dove out and ran to find some help.
“I’ve gotta find help for the others. Oh man, think Spike think. Who isn’t under their spell? Flash Sentry? No. The Crusaders? No.” Spike continued to name people until he bumped into Vinyl Scratch who was wearing her headphones.
“Whoa there little guy, where’d you come from? Wait, aren’t you usually with the Rainbooms? Oh man I totally forgot about the finals tonight.” Spike motioned for Vinyl to take her headphones off and she complied.
“Vinyl, Trixie came back for revenge and trapped the Rainbooms under the stage, you gotta help them!”
“Whoa, whoa, easy there buddy. You’re saying that Trixie trapped them under the stage? She’s just a show off, but I believe you. Secondly, why’d you come to me for help?”
“Everyone else is under the Dazzlings’ spell. Didn’t you notice?”
“Nah, to busy listenin’ to my jam.”
“That’s what I was counting on. You’re the only other student at Canterlot High aside from the Rainbooms that isn’t under the siren’s spell.”
“Well, I guess.” Vinyl looked at her iPod to check the time. “Eh, I think I got time to kill before I meet with Tavi, Lead on.”
By the time he had gotten back to the finals the Dazzlings were already performing.
“Oh no we’re too late!”
“Relax, you need to chill pal. Where’s the door that leads under the stage? Aha, there it is.” Vinyl calmly walked over to the door and opened it. Spike rushed to his friends.
“Spike!” They all said.
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Rarity yawned as the Rainbooms sulked under the stage hearing Trixie play. Rainbow smashed her shoulder into the door and rubbed it due to the pain. The door hadn’t budged an inch, still stuck in that same place, locked from the outside. Applejack, who was annoyed at the constant yet futile attempt to open the door, groaned.
“Give it up Rainbow Dash you’ve been tryin’ at this for hours. It’s not gonna open.”
Rainbow rubbed her sore arm in defeat. She couldn’t open the door no matter how hard she hit it, so she just let it be.
Sunset sighed. “I don’t think it matters that we’re trapped down here anyway, the counter spell wasn’t finished, there was no way it could’ve worked.”
Applejack put her hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “Course it would’ve worked, assumin’ a certain band member didn’t hog the spotlight the entire time we were tryin’ ta play it!” She said looking accusingly at Rainbow Dash.
“What, why are you looking at me?”
“She was talking about you Rainbow Dash.” Rarity said behind clenched teeth.
“Me!” Rainbow pointed to herself with both hands. “I’m just making sure my band rocks as hard as it needs to.”
“Our band!” Everyone yelled.
Applejack got in Rainbow’s face and yelled, “It may have been your idea to start a band, but it’s not just your band Rainbow Dash!”
“I’m the one who writes all the songs!”
Fluttershy stepped from behind Rarity, “I write songs, you just never let us play any of them!”
“I had the most perfect outfits for us to wear.”
“Again with the costumes! No one cares what we’re wearin’!”
“I care Applejack! So sorry if I enjoy trying to make a creative contribution to the band!”
“Hey, anybody here remember fun? I’ll give you a hint; it’s the exact opposite of being in the Rainbooms!”
“I wish I had never asked any of you to be in my band!”
“I wish I never agreed to be in it!” said Rarity
Both Fluttershy and Applejack moved to her sides and said, “Me neither!”
As the Rainbooms fought they didn’t notice themselves glow green as the green gas poured out of them and flowed upward. Sunset Shimmer on the other hand took full note of it and looked up to try and figure out what was going on.
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“You better believe I’ve got tricks up my sleeve”
“See me dominate, cause I’m powerful and great”
Trixie’s band walked backstage as the crowd cheered. She passed by the Dazzlings to rub in her glory. “Try to top that.” She said in a cocky manner.
“Oh gosh, I don’t know if we can.” Adagio said sarcastically. The Dazzlings snickered and Adagio put her hands up to silence them. “See that girls?” Adagio pointed at the gas coming from under the trap door. “Their falling apart, just like I said they would. Now all that’s left is to absorb it and victory will be ours.”
The crowd went silent as the Dazzlings started their performance. All four sirens emerged from the gas swinging their bodies in a seductive manner as they began to sing.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahh ha ahhhhhhhhh”
“Haaaaa ahh ahh, ha ah ah, ha ah ah”
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“Sunset stared at the ceiling as the realization was hitting her, hard. She realized they had been played like fools just so the Dazzlings could use them as a source of magic. She had to stop them from arguing with each other and fast.
“Stop! You have to stop!” She yelled coming in between them to stop them from making the situation worse. “This is what they’ve been after all along. They’re feeding off of the magic inside you.”
“How can they be using our magic, it’s the magic of friendship?”
“Ever since you started this band you’ve been letting little things get to you. I never said anything because I didn’t feel like it was my place, not when I was so new to this friendship thing, I still have a lot to learn, but I do know that if you don’t work out even the smallest problems right at the start then the magic of friendship can be turned into something else.”
Everyone looked around in realization at their actions. The Rainbooms all smiled and nodded, they knew what had to be done.
“Come on, we need to get out of here.” Said Sunset
Everyone threw themselves at the door in hopes of getting it to open. They all pushed as hard as they could as a group but to no avail. The Rainbooms dropped to the floor as hope was starting to die out. When they fell, the door unlocked and Spike rushed towards them.
“Spike!” they all said
“Sorry I took so long, I had to find somebody who wasn’t under the siren’s spell to help me get you out.”
Vinyl poked her head through the door frame and waved.
“Why isn’t she under their spell?” asked Sunset
“Never takes off her headphones.”
They all turned to Vinyl who gave them a thumbs up and a smile.
“Come on y’all, time to prove we still got the magic of friendship inside us.”
“And there’s only one way to do it.”
“We’re getting the band back together?” asked Pinkie
“We’re getting our band back together.” Said Rainbow
“Weeee!” Pinkie shouted in joy
“Oh, which version of the counter spell are we going to play?”
“The counter spell was never finished remember. But, I don’t think it really matters what you guys play so long as you do it together, as friends.”
Rainbow Dash walked up to Fluttershy and said, “Fluttershy here has written a really great one.” Which caused Fluttershy to have a wide smile.
“we’re about to save the world here; personally, I think we should do it in style. Rarity.” Applejack said
“I thought you’d never ask.” Rarity said while bringing out a rack of dresses for them to wear. “I had one for Twilight but it’s gone now.”
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“Ha ha, aha aha ah, aha aha ah”
“Ha ha, aha aha ah, aha aha ah”
“Welcome to the show”
“Ahh aha ahh”
“We’re here to let you know”
“Ahhh ah haa ah”
“Our time is now”
“Ahh aha ahh”
“Your time is running out”
“Ahhh ahh ah”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rainbooms had made their way onto a hill that was just overlooking the stage and the audience.
Rainbow frowned. “How are we supposed to play over them from here?”
Vinyl honked her horn and brought her car around. She pressed a button and the car transformed into a big DJ set. They all stared in awe at Vinyl’s car.
Raibow turned to Sunset Shimmer. “Hey Sunset, wanna be lead singer?”
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“Feel the wave of sound, as it crashes down”
“You can’t turn away, we’ll make you wanna stay”
As the Dazzlings started singing the chorus they floated up and began to magically transform. They were enveloped in a red light and pony ears sprouted from their heads, they grew longer pony tails. As they were nearing the end of the transformation they began to crack and their shells shattered revealing siren wings.
“We will be adored, tell us that you want us”
“We won’t be ignored, it’s time for our reward”
“Now you need us, come and heed us”
“Nothing can stop us now”
Out of seemingly no where they heard drums being played. Aria pointed over to a nerby hill and they all noticed the Rainbooms.
“Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh”
“I’ve got the music in me”
“Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh”
“Don’t need to hear a crowd cheering out my name”
“I didn’t come here seeking infamy or fame”
“The one and only thing, that I am here to bring”
“Is music-is the music, is the music in my soul”
Everyone but Sunset transformed with the magic and grew pony ears with extended pony tails. Rainbow and Fluttershy grew wings as well.
“Gonna break out (Out)”
“Set myself free yeah”
“Let it all go (Go)”
“Just let it be yeah”
“Find the music in your heart”
“Let the music make you start”
“To set, yourself, apart”
Adagio looked at them unfazed. “So the Rainbooms want to turn this into a real battle of the bands, then let’s battle.”
“What we have in store, all we want and more”
“We will break on through, now it’s time to finish you”
The sirens’ eyes glowed red as they charged up a spell. A magical soundwave connected the four amulets as they summoned magical projections of themselves in their true siren form. The projections flew towards the Rainbooms to attack them. Vinyl pushed the knob on the mixer up and Pinkie played her drums to send out a soundwave of their own. The intensity of the battle was heavy, not only did the entire fate of the world rest on them defeating the Dazzlings but they wanted to save their friend as well. They still believed in Twilight and thought that if they could somehow reach her then they would win. As Aria and Sonata were getting beat by Rarity and Fluttershy, Adagio went up against Sunset shimmer. Sunset sang into the mic but Adagio countered with her own voice and pushed Sunset back. The other sirens joined Adagio as they sang in harmony against the Rainbooms. Their harmonized voices brought the Rainbooms to their knees, Sunset stumbled up and felt the surge of friendship from the others. She took off her jacket and threw it to the side as she began singing.
“You’re never gonna bring me down”
“You’re never gonna break this part of me”
“My friends are here to bring me ‘round”
“Not singing just for popularity”
“We’re here to let you know, that we won’t let it go”
“Our music is a bomb and it’s about to blow”
“And you can try to fight”
“But we have got the light of friendship on our side”
“Got the music in our hearts”
“We’re here to blow this thing apart”
“And together, we will never, be afraid of the dark”
Sunset began to transform getting the ears and pony tail to go with her friends’.
“Here to sing our song out loud, get you dancing with the crowd”
“As the music of our friendship survives, survives”
“Got the music in our hearts”
“We're here to blow this thing apart”
“And together, we will never, be afraid of the dark”
“Here to sing our song out loud, get you dancing with the crowd”
“As the music of our friendship survives, survives, SURVIVES”
After the Rainbooms finished their song they looked around, and then at Twilight. What they saw extinguished their hope for saving the school and their friend. When they Dazzlings sang again everyone went back under their spell. After the Dazzlings finished singing they looked towards the Rainbooms and released a harmonized soundwave. The Rainbooms, in turn, took it directly and fell back. They sat there until the sirens floated up to them, their projections going back into their amulets.
Adagio smirked and began to chuckle before saying, “That was it? That was your big plan? It didn’t seem to work out so well now did it?”
Sunset raised her head to look Twilight eye to eye. “Twilight, please, we can’t do this without you.”
“There it is again, you only want to use me. I’m not some tool to be used like that, i’m not some weapon for you to point at your enemies. Sorry Sunset, but it’s over, you girls lost.”
“Well said Twilight. Tell me Sunset Shimmer, do you realize what this means? It means that the magic of friendship, is dead. Not even your precious little princess can save you now.”
The Dazzlings basked in their victory as they had gotten their true Equestrian magic back. No one in this world could stop them now, the Dazzlings had the world in the palms of their hands. Twilight looked around at the scene before her and smiled. They had done it. She let out an evil chuckle.
"Yes, everything is gonna be just fine."
That seemed like an anticlimatic ending. Okay, I suppose, but...
And then the Mane 6 come through the portal when Twilight doesn't come back and curbstomp her for being so weak willed
Is there going to be a Sequel? Great story of betrayal.
What now? Like, what happens afterwords? What about Equestria? What about her friends over there? And what about Flash Sentry my home boy?
Sorry, but that was an awful ending.
You basically wrote Rainbow Rocks with evil Twilight, not changing that much.
It would've been fine if you continued it in your own way, but that ending ruined it for me.
5317513
I agree, it felt a tad underdeveloped.
It would of been cool to see what would have happened if the Rainbooms had still won against the Dazzlings.
5317513 Sorry guys, this is what happens when you don't think something through. On the fact that it's to much like Rainbow rocks, it's supposed to be like that, this is just what would happen if the Dazzlings had made Twilight one of them, for me anyway. Was the story's ending bad, yes. I'll get to fixing it later though, tomorrow is Thanksgiving after all. Sorry if you didn't like it, but this is the result of a first time writer with shoddy writing.
5317471 Glad you liked it, but sorry to disappoint you. There is no planned sequel to this.
5317490 That, I leave to the readers imagination, except for Flash, he is also under their spell.
I actually liked the story, it had good story building with the history of the sirens and the mind control was made easily believable because of the way you had twilight tricked by the Dazzlings, the tricking of the sirens made me think of the stories were twilight feels betrayed by her friends with the wedding and how they abandoned her.
All in all i thought it turned out well. Good story, and good luck with your future stories, ill be sure to look for them when there made.
There's going to be a little sequel to this, I just know it! Because One: This is a Alternate Universe. Two: No Villain has ever won. (Except for this one though since it's a fanfic) and Three: Good Guys always wins! I can easily tell that everyone will agreed with me.
Let's just hope for a Sequel of this. If there IS one then we can't wait for it!
Twilight Lightning, Amazing/Perfect Work on this story. This is like one of the Best Fanfic's I've EVER read!!! If there is a Sequel to this, then I say have Good Karma and Good Luck on it!!!
5317595
hate to tell you this but there's just nothing to the ending.
Great ending. I knew Twilight made the right choice.
I can imagine it being like the dark side ending of The Force Unleashed II:
Is the last chapter going to be changed or not?
5317921 Maybe, most likely not though, more people seem to like it than hate it.
5317957 I wold not mind if you changed the chapter or not, Currently it is an open ending with a few different possibilities like the rest of the main 6 coming there because we know that they know that something is wrong when sunset went to Equestria and told them twilight is missing, there is also the option of spike sneaking away and going back to Equestria for help, but if you change it to make it where the rainbooms win you need to be careful to not make it like the movies ending. But even if they win there is a chance that twilight would not survie because if you remember in the history chapter.
So unless they found a cure there is a chance that the Dazzlers would not survive, But there is a chance that Twilight would not survive because we do not know how much the amulet has changed twilight.
But no matter whatever you do I know it will be good.
Loved the ending! Really nice!
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!
That sounds like a part of the rwby volume 2 opening, anyone else notice? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdWCLT7kccY at around 2:14
The story was good, the ending... Meh, seems unfinished...
Overall, I liked the concept for the story. The execution... not so much. While the early chapters changed the scenes and dynamic of the movie, the later ones felt copy and paste, except without Twilight. Seeing how her absence and the added pressure of her betrayal affected the Rainbooms could have taken the story in a totally different direction.
Speaking of Twilight, I felt there wasn't enough character development on her. I liked how she doubted her friends' motivations and reasons, but she never questioned or doubted the Dazzlings plan. They literally talked about world domination in front of her and she didn't so much as bat an eye. Feeling used and betrayed is one thing, but she acts corrupted and evil near the end with no real reason why.
For a first attempt, it wasn't bad, but it could be better. I hope you keep at it and improve. You have potential.
Jardex22
i really think you should make a sequel showing what happened to equestria and the human world after they won.
the history was pretty good specially for a first time,but the ending felt a little rushed
5318526
seriously. "You're using me so I'll screw over billions of people." Even with mind control that's weak. Frankly that's weaker than straight up mind control. It makes Twilight look weak willed not the Dazzlings look impressive
I do think the ending is a bit lackluster. However I'd like to state that what she did, she shouldn't immediately fall back on. Or, perhaps an extra chapter where she did become strong, but she has to go back to Equestria for some reason or another, where she meets her real friends, they'll see what she has become and rush to save her. Why? because that's what friends do. Here's my reasoning as to why:
Without any context, or explanation, you are trying to say that not only is Twilight Sparkle, who has faced down legendary/mythic levels of evil is going to turn her backs on everything she has ever known? Her love of finding out new things, learning, love of her friends, the assuring nod of her mentor and the praise that comes with it? The Sirens were canon before the movie (The IDW comics!) as a race, so they more than likely would not have been like that. She may not be a pony anymore, but that's the thing, she's an alicorn. Her own newly acquired race is much stronger than any 'average' pony, let alone her being the Element of Magic (which is friendship!) as well as a Princess. So while Celestia has said, "once put on, there's nothing anypony can do." (I'm more than likely mis-quoting.) There are other races out there in Equestria. Why not go on an adventure to cure her, while she tries to overcome her need for magic?
There's a lot of things you can do here to 'swap' the 'bad end,' here and make a new one. Heck, have Sunset Shimmer run through the portal gather up her friends and bring them back to change her mind. And she wouldn't turn her back on her friends, whether she likes the EQG and what she perceived or not. She may not forgive them (as with that apology), but in time maybe she will. That kind of thing.
In the end, that's all up to you, and whatever direction ya head in, I wish ya luck.
Edit: Also, the general rule for trying to paint a picture, is to show, not tell. While it is a bit harder to do so, in the "Adagio's plan" chapter, how did she change? In what way? She doesn't even once question what's wrong with her? Where these bad feelings are? She forgave DISCORD of all things, and that was a near -forced- mental screw-you. Reluctantly she does, true, but she -trusted- in the decisions of her mentor. And it paid off. So she doesn't once look in the mirror and question, "Why am I doing this?" or when they say, "You're a siren now." (in the following chapter) She doesn't say, "What no! I'm a pony." She was proud of that fact too. So what changed? Why? And in such a huge way?
It's the same as if you woke up one day and you were a ... heck I don't know. ... a duck. You'd just go on with your daily life as a duck? TRUE in the setting she'd still be human looking but there'd be something off about it wouldn't there? And again, this goes back to the "Why would she stay in the EQG world? She has her own castle, friends, studies, and is also insanely smart! So she'd DEFINITELY notice something's up if she went back on through.
The ending is fine except it does not give any closure. You should probably write an epilog or a teaser for a sequel.
5326070 My one weakness. I'll try but I got nothing for a sequel.
5326799 try reading my latest fic; Spellbound.
It might give you an idea...
darwin: oh and so beautiful when somepony calls my name with such excitement and vigor
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why did you have to do this?