Chapter 2 "3 Years Later..."
Luna was sitting on her concrete slab balconey, looking down on Canterlot. The busy town was bustling with busy mates and stallions, and filly and colts. Luna sighed and set her chin on the golden baloney rail, feeling the cool metal under chin.
"I see your looking upon the town, Princess?" A voice said, behind her. She turned her head behind her, seeing a brown draqonaquis with a small smile on his face.
"Discord, how quaint of thou to see me." Luna said, smiling at him.
"We'll its not often i get to see my two favorite princesses, now is it?" Discord said, teleporting to Luna, and hugging her. Luna seemed to ignore him, and continue look out onto the bustling city. She sighed and looked back at discord. His smile turned into a frown, and his eyes went sad as well. "Awww, what's wrong, Luna?" Discord asked, as he pulled her closer to him.
"I'm fine just...wondering.." Luna replied, looking at Discord with a small frown.
"About the future, like what stallion I'm going to marry...".
"We'll, I'm not a match maker ya know." Discord said with a bit of a rude tone in his voice.
"I know discord, I just wanted to tell you." Luna said back to him. Hours past while Discord and Luna sat, talking and laughing, watching and singing songs they knew.
" Well, I guess I better head back to see Celestia, Luna." Discord said, looking at a watch he contoured in his hand.
"Oh, alright." Luna replied. Discord got up and ruffled Luna's mane, cause in her flowing mane, to stop rippling for a minute.
"See ya, Luna." Discord said, and smiled as he walked out of Luna's room. Luna sat, looking at the rose she had picked off her balconey, three years ago. She sighed and sat back down on the balconey, and laid her head down on balcony once more
When Luna sat down at the dining table in the royal palace, her sister set down her fork, and smiled at her. "Glad to see you joined us, this time." Celestia said to Luna. Discord was sitting at the table with them, eating a bowl of paper bits.
Heh, random discord. Luna thought.
Always eats paper out of spell books. Luna started to eat a seasoned salad, with carrots, and then stopped, looking at her sister. Celestia was eating the same thing as Luna, but with dressing. That was unusual for Celestia, she only ate that for a specail occasion.
"Luna, I have an announcement to make." Celestia said smiling. "Luna, I'm engaged to Discord." Celestia said, as she held up an engagement ring, on a necklace.
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Chapter 2:
You mean mares right?
Why did you explain why he did it? We probably all know why he did it. Just say this: Discord stood up and ruffled Luna's flowing mane. It stopped flowing for a minute, but resumed shortly after.
Correction: "Oh, alright," Luna replied.
Correction: "See ya Luna!" Discord said. He smiled as he walked cheerfully out of Luna's room.
You mean: Heh, casual Discord, Luna thought. Or: Heh, normal Discord, Luna thought. Also, you forgot to capitalize the "D" in Discord.
Correction: special
Correction: Always eating paper out of spell books.
Correction: 'Luna, I have an announcement to make," Celestia said smiling.
First, I'm sure she would levitate the ring in the air. Second, why didn't she prepare some sort of reason after she announced this? Finally, shouldn't it be: "Luna, I'm engaged to Discord," Celestia announced. "He has shone me great respect and gratitude." Princess Celestia beamed with pride.
All of this just from chapter 2.... Adds on to the reason why I left a dislike. Though, there are some more errors that I might have left out. ~ Silver Spoon