the frank
Joined 10th Apr, 2014 ·
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Please do go on with the story it is very good
If you're familiar with Carmilla, you get the title.
Intrigued, and tracking!
5178373 I will. Thanks!
5179523 5 points to you! Finally somepony who gets it. And thanks! I'll try to get the next chapter published in a few days.
5179544
And if you're not familiar with Carmilla, Librivox has a wonderful, wonderful treat waiting for you.
(Victorian lesbian gothic horror - go!)
Because of a change of title, twocomments has been deleted. Nothing personal, they just lost relevance.
Hope you don't mind, I threw it into my group because it fits. If you don't want it there I can remove it.
5185711 That sounds fun! What group?
5187364 Twilight the Vampony Slayer.
5187477 Now THAT is what I call an awesome name! Go ahead and add!
5187538
I added it when I first put this on my read later shelf. Are you a part of the Buffy fandom?
No, can't say I am. I just like vampires in general. Spike is pretth awesome, though.
I am certain this is a flaw on my part but I don't know if I can read this. It is written well but I just can't read it. I will try again later. Sorry to dissapoint you.
5202414 Oh. Ok!
Is this going to continue?
5214733 Yes, there are three halfwritten chapters in the pipeline. don't worry! I will have another up around Wednesday I hope.
Wow. I have to say, this fic has a lot of potential. I like where it's going; I like the universe you've weaved; I like a lot of things.
The one thing I don't like and the thing I believe is holding this story back is the conventions. The conspicuous typo, the strange syntax, the poorly worded sentence: those are the things that take me out of your universe and leave me staring with a quirked eyebrow at a screen.
You said that this story had no editor, but I'd recommend you find one, or at least a proofreader. As I said before, this fic has a lot of potential to be something wonderful, but the conventions make it hard to enjoy this story. It's a great idea hidden under imperfect prose. Conventions may be the most conspicuous problem with your story, but they're also among the easiest problems to correct. Just polish (or have someone polish) your story a little and reveal the brilliance it already had!
5233453 Wow. I start with saying thank you! I hope you stay at least two chapters more to meet my vampony hunter.
Now then, your criticism. The name of the former title character is apparently a bigger issue to people than I thought. Maybe it was a bad idea, or at least, should be done in reverse. However, that name is basically the reason I started this story so I will stick to it. If you want a deeper explanation why I can send you a pm.
The syntax...well, I am trying to write in the style of a 19th century novel, but they ARE pretty boring though... Thd fact that you point out that the words are misused buggers me, because I thought I actually made it this time...and about the "this story is not edited", it's not because I think I'm flawless, it's because I didn't find one. But I will give it another shot.
5233453 I re-read it just now. I was thinking "convention? what do you mean?". But I guees you're referring to their talk in the garden? Yeah... I will rewrite that part....
I need more!!
keep going, just hope Fluttershy isn't just a meal for Rairty 
5276956 Oh, this is not the end. But it is probably the end of the beginning.
And don't worry, she's a bit more than that.
Wow. This is good. I mean, I can enjoy a shameless clopfic as much as the next pegasister, but it doesn't quite compare to a well-written story such as this.
Shapeshifting vampires. Vampires that can influence your dreams. Vampires... that can... eh...
I love this story.
Wow, this vampire is smitten with Fluttershy, to have imprinted on her for so long. A little selfish, considering she's been torturing the poor little pegasus...
Whew. Rairty scares me.
5852872 Wow, thanks!
Yes, that's the way I prefer then. I like them best the 19th century way.
She has her reasons, but they are indeed selfish.
I think of her as ordinary Rarity with Nightmare Rarity's eyes.
Nyeh! Rairty's sneaky and spoopy! I dunno if I like this Rairty.
5855197 Well, she IS a vampire...
5852894
Ngh... You're welcome?
Glad to see a new chapter was added to this story, I've had it bookmarked for so long hoping it would update again one day and im glad it finally did, hopefully there are more chapters to come in the future.
7476340 I hope so too.