But They Are Ponies!
Dead silence filled the throne room of the Canterlot castle, all eyes upon Zangief with sheer disbelief shining in them. Zangief still stood in place, pointing at Celestia with the serious look still on his face, but his eyes quickly darted around as he wondered why they were all so quiet. But despite the dropped jaws that the ponies had, none of their faces could compare to the one Celestia was wearing. She was wearing a look of sheer horror upon hers.
"I'm...I'm sorry I must have heard wrong, can you please repeat what you just said?" she asked in a slight daze, hoping that she had misheard him.
"Certainly! I said that I am Zangief and that I am here to challenge you for your love!" he cried out once again, proudly placing his hands on his hips as he awaited her answer. Celestia had no idea how to respond to a statement like that, but unfortunately for her, her sister was there to give her some "help".
"Wow Celestia, a confession. And by such and...urp...handsome creature," Luna teased as she elbowed Celestia in the side. "He looks perfect for you."
"You shut up right now," she whispered to her sister before clearing her throat , looking at Zangief with as nice a smile as she could muster. "Um, t-thank you for the offer Zangief, but I cannot...return the feelings that you have. But I wouldn't mind talking with you about some other things, so if you would kindly-"
"Feelings? I have no feelings for you," Zangief replied with a look of confusion on his face, Celestia mirroring the look upon hearing his words.
"But, did you not just confess to my sister?" Luna asked with a huge smile, having no idea what was going on but loving every second of it. "You said that you wished to challenge her for her love right?"
"Yes, her love. And yours as well. And all the ponies," he said with a fiery voice. "I will take as much love as I can so I can feed the starving changelings and make sure that they will never have to worry about going hungry again!"
"Wait...you don't want any of us to love you, you just require love to feed...the changelings?" Celestia asked as she put the pieces together as best she could, a sigh of relief escaping her when Zangief nodded his head. "Oh merciful Faust thank you. Well then Zangief, if you are here on behalf of the changelings, then you must know that we are not exactly on speaking terms and that Chrysalis has threatened my kingdom many times. Why should we help her?"
"Because if you are truly kind rulers, then you would not allow children to starve even if they are from another nation. But if you do not care about them, then it is clear that you are evil," Zangief said in a low voice as he took up a fighting stance, courage and power flowing in his eyes. "However, I do not ask that you do this for free. That is why I propose a challenge! I will take on any of our greatest warriors in a match. If I win, the changelings will be fed for as long as they need food."
"That is...interesting," Celestia muttered in reply, still trying to figure out what was happening.
"Yes, but what happens if our warrior wins?" Luna asked with the smile still on her face.
"Then you get me," Zangief replied, causing all eyebrows in the room to go up. "Chrysalis informed me that you have never seen a human before in this land and that I would be worth a lot. That is my deal. If I win the changelings get their food. And if I lose, do with me as you wish." Celestia looked down at Zangief with no idea what to say before waving her wings and motioning for the ponies to circle around her.
"Okay, I have no idea what is going on," she began once the others had formed a tight circle, all of them placing their heads next to each other. "Can somepony tell me how this...human got not only into my throne room but also into Equestria without using the portal in Twilight's castle?"
"Can we even call that thing human?" Twilight asked with a look of both disgust and shock on her face. "I've been to the human world many times and never once did I see any one of them that looked remotely like Zangief. How in the world did he get his muscles to be so big?"
"The dude probably works out, something you should try princess," Dash teased with a smirk as she punched Twilight in the shoulder, Twilight grumbling as she rubbed it. "I like his idea though about the fight though. I've never gotten to fight a human before and if he's willing to then I'm not passing this chance up."
"Humans are not as strong or as durable as us. I am certain that he believes he could win, but you might end up hurting him badly Dash," Celestia countered, not wanting to start a pointless battle.
"Yes sister, but he is here on behalf of the changelings. That means either Chrysalis is controlling his mind or he is good friends with them," Luna pointed out, turning all eyes to her. "We have been waiting for a time to speak with the changelings for a long time and if they are willing to have a one on one fight for stakes so low, we can use this is our chance to work out a treaty with Chrysalis." Celestia took those words to heart and she lowered her head in thought.
"You may be right about that sister, but I still wish to know more before we make a decision," Celestia decided before breaking out of the circle and turning her attention back to Zangief, who had still yet to move from his pose. "Zangief, can you tell me exactly why Chrysalis sent you here to make such a deal? It does not seem like her usual way of doing things." The look of confidence fell off of Zangief's face and he rubbed the back of his head.
"Well, she doesn't...exactly know that I did this," he admitted with a laugh. Before any of the other ponies could say anything a blast of magic tore through the ceiling, the ponies crying out as a dark insect creature flung itself through the recently made hole in the ceiling. She landed in the center of the room and slowly lifted her head, her eyes turning to each pony in turn before the rested on who she was there for.
"Queen Chrysalis," Celestia said as she prepared her magic. "If you are here for my kingdom then-"
"You! Freaking! MORON!" Chrysalis screamed as he picked up a chunk of rock with her magic and hurled it at Zangief. The stone stuck Zangief in the face and immediately his skull that could crack wrestlers shattered the rock. "You truly are the stupidest being on the planet! Not only do you go waltzing off by yourself, which is stupid, you go to Canterlot, the most heavily defended city in all of Equestria and start causing trouble! I swear I am going to kill you and use you as a punching bag!"
"But I came her so I could find out a way to feed your people!" Zangief countered with pride, not believing himself to be in the wrong. "It is clear that you would never make an arrangement with them, so that is why I chall-" Zangief's words were cut of by yelps of pain as Chrysalis grabbed his ear with her magic and began to drag him back to the hole.
"Hell no you're not, you're coming back to the hive right now! Do you know how worried Insectum was?" Once again Celestia was left utterly confused by what was going on, but her confusion was quickly replaced by shock as she looked at the state Queen Chrysalis was in. Her eyes moved from her missing front leg to the eyepatch that covered her face, telling the princess that something was amiss.
"Chrysalis, what happened to you?" Celestia asked.
"My daughter picked up knife throwing. Mind your own business," Chrysalis snarled before yelling at Zangief some more.
"Chrysalis," Celestia said with regal might in her voice, stopping the queen of the changelings and turning both her and Zangief's eyes over to her. "Is what Zangief said true? Are your people truly starving?" Chrysalis gave no verbal answer, but when she lifted another chunk of the ceiling and broke it over Zangief's head Celestia had her answer. "Chrysalis, we may be enemies, but if your people are truly starving like he said they are then I am willing to help you."
"Feh, my nation and I don't take hoofouts," Chrysalis spat back as she looked at Celestia with defiance in her only eye. "If I am going to have your ponies love, then I am going to take it! That is how I do things!" She turned to leave and once again Celestia believed that there nations would remain in the same uneasy state, but then Luna spoke up.
"Then how about we give you the chance to win what your nation needs?" Chrysalis and the ponies turned to look at Luna, who had a smile on her face as she nodded to Zangief. "Before you broke through our ceiling, Zangief had made a very interesting proposal. It was that if he managed to defeat one of our warriors that we would supply your changelings with the love they need. The only issue I had with the wager was what we got if we won. Now as much as Zangief amuses me, I think we can do better. So how about this? If we win, then you sit down and listen to our proposal for peace, with no complaining or arguing."
"And why in the flying heck would I want to do that?" Chrysalis asked with a smirk, releasing Zangief and allowing him to check to see if his ear was still attached. Luna walked over and whispered something to Celestia, who gasped at what her sister said before getting into a heated debate with her. The two whispered to themselves for a few minutes before Celestia caved in and allowed Luna to speak.
"You'll want to agree with us because of this. If Zangief manages to win, then not only will we supply your changelings with the love they need, but we will also allow you to stay within Canterlot and Ponyville to make sure that everything goes just the way you like it," Luna offered. The ponies could see temptation in Chrysalis's eyes, but she wasn't at the point of agreement just yet.
"I would make my decision quickly Chrysalis. How much longer can your changelings go without food?" Celestia asked. Her words were enough to collapse the wall that Chrysalis had built up and with a snarl she agreed.
"Excellent!" Zangief burst in with a huge smile. "Now then, if we are to have this match, we need a ring. No, a stadium! Somewhere where both changelings and...whatever you creatures are can watch the fight of a lifetime!" Celestia and Luna both shared a smile with each other, both of them knowing what the other was thinking.
"We have just the place," Celestia began as she conjured up the image of a massive stadium with her magic. "I have been working on a new stadium in Canterlot in case we are ever chosen for the Equestrian Games, but it could also serve as the arena that Zangief is speaking of. It is large enough to hold all of the ponies in Canterlot and Ponyville, along with any extra, so there would be room for your changelings if they wished to watch."
"It sounds perfect!" Zangief yelled before Chrysalis could complain, throwing back his head and laughing with such joy that despite knowing nothing about him the princesses found themselves smiling as well. "But you pony like creatures had better chose your strongest fighter, for I do not hold back when I fight!"
"That is fine. Neither shall we," Luna replied with a smile before clearing something up. "And we are ponies by the way, just in case Chrysalis has told you anything different." Her words smacked the smile right off of Zangief's face and he looked upon all of them as if he was looking at them for the first time.
"What?!" he screamed with such ferocity that the princesses and the ponies backed away from him with shock. "But...but you cannot be ponies! Ponies are not colored like the rainbow nor do they speak or do magic! Ponies pull carts and eat hay and...are not you. This cannot be true! You must be lying to-" Zangief was silenced as Chrysalis picked up another chunk of rock and slammed it into the back of his head, knocking him to the floor with a grunt.
"You must forgive him, we break cinderblocks with his face. Get up you oaf, we're heading back to the hive," Chrysalis snarled as Zangief rose back to his feet, looking at the ponies now with a smirk on his face.
"Maybe I should change the challenge. After all, fighting such colorful ponies will be as easy as crushing the bears that I wrestle back home!" he said with a loud laugh, not reading the looks on the ponies faces. "There is a thought, do you have any bears that actually know how to wrestle that I can fight instead."
"Shut up Zangief and just get ready to fight them."
"But the are ponies!" Chrysalis picked Zangief up with her magic and shook her head, giving one last glare at the princesses before taking to the sky and leaving through the entrance she had made. The ponies watched until they were out of sight before Rainbow Dash spoke up.
"Okay, so I'm totally going to be the one to kick his butt," she said, looking at her friends to see if any of them would argue.
"Very well Rainbow Dash, if you wih you may fight him. Twilight, you are more familiar with humans that anypony else, so please inform Rainbow of what she should and shouldn't do to fight them," Celestia instructed, Twilight nodding with a smile as she grabbed hold of Dash with her magic.
"Alright Dashy, it's time to go study!" she said as she walked out of the room with a smile, holding the frowning Rainbow Dash behind her. "Now the first thing you need to know is that humans break easily, so don't fight with all your might. Second it..." Celestia dismissed the other ponies as well before walking over to her sister, concern in her eyes.
"Are you sure this is the best course of action?" Celestia asked Luna. "What if Chrysalis tries something or Rainbow loses?"
"Chrysalis will not try anything. Her injuries have shown us that something, meaning that she might be more open to our idea," Luna said before looking at her sister with a smirk. "And do you honestly believe that a human like him would really be able to beat Rainbow Dash?"
"True enough sister. Now then, let us prepare for the fight."
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I am now looking forward more to the next chapter of this then I am War of Champions.
oh man i feel bad for dash, they should have at least tried to convince him of a tag team match...
I kinda want to see Twilight contact the human girls and ask them for the best way to win against Zangief.
And see the Equestrian Girls freak out at THE ZANGIEF having a match. Possibly asking if they can come watch and cheer for the spectacle that is Zangief.
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAA OH GOD OH GOD, THEY THINK- HAHAHHA T-THEY THINK THEY STAND A CHANCE!! HAHAHAHAH OH GOD STOP, I'M CRYING HAHAHAHA!!!
Whoo~ Okay, caught my breath... Whew... Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter! I wonder what the ponies will throw at Zangief once they feel the power of the Red Cyclone and realize how screwed they are. Maybe the princesses will partake in this little rumble? Only time shall tell! And with time I mean the next chapter!... In case that wasn't clear.
~Valvatorez
Why are the ponies convinced that humans are made of Tissue paper?
"You! Freaking! MORON!" Chrysalis screamed as she picked up a chunk of rock with her magic and hurled it at Zangief.
"But they are ponies!" Chrysalis picked Zangief up with her magic and shook her head, giving one last glare at the princesses before taking to the sky and leaving through the entrance she had made.
Yes, yes Zangief would win
The irony physically hurts.
Let it begin! LET IT BEGIN!
This is going to be awesome.
Jesus Christ she is going to shit out her lungs.
So, when are the signups for the new Element of Loyalty?
5726148 because they only know the equestria girls ones and admittedly, rainbow would kick the crap out of those. i mean, it's pretty insane what ponies are actually capable of. just watch the rainbow dash vs starscream deathbattle to see what rainbow's actually capable of. if it was any normal human she'd take him in less then 10 seconds ... flat. sadly for them, zangief isn't any normal human; he's the red cyclone^^
5726303 That does not answer my question, I asked why they ALL thought that humans was made from tissue paper and that even Fluttershy would be able to break a man by touching him (while exaggerated, the point still stands).
Besides, Rainbow is the only one that has current been able to do a Rainboom and she needs lots of space to do so. In a normal room, she is just a stronger-than avarage pegasus. (Seriously, the show is really bad at shown the limits of the three types of magic. I mean, Rainbow able to go tiptoe with A.J. when her brother just casuly walks with a house?)
Wow... Hope Zangief doesn't ruff her up to bad...
~Dollars.
I am putting my money on Zangief.
Anybody else.
Ummmmm ok ... so have you found anyone to be the new Element of Loyalty
I am going to enjoy Rainbow Dash get utterly pummeled by Zangief and ego
Poor Dashie
. You would think that after seeing what he did to their royal guards they wouldn't underestimate him so much.
RD is going to get rekt.
5726313 actually it does, but let's just assume that my prior comment was formulated a little hard to understand shall we? like i said before, the reason they ALL think that humans are pushovers is because the only humans they know are the equestria girls humans, so really all the have to go by to measure a humans toughness is twilights word since she is the only who actually interacted with them. so they all think that are humans are weak because all the knowledge they have about them is was twilight told them and she assumes them to be weak. so to recap; whatever twilight says about humans is what everyone believes. it's a easy as that.
also you seem to severely underestimate what ponies are capable of. rainbow doesn't need a sonic rainboom to be op compared to a normal human. even disregarding the more gag like things like rainbow smashing into a tree face first and all is does is destroying the tree without any traces of damage at her, and disregarding the fact that considering her speed her punches would hurt like hell considering the force behind them, rainbow has more than often proven that she's able to take and dish out quite a bit of punishment. most people underestimate that since they are, you know ponies, but physically spoken they are much stronger and tougher than ordinary humans and would destroy them in a fair fight. so even as "just a stronger-than avarage pegasus" she'd wipe the floor with any human dumb enough to face off against her.
Edit: I'm bored right now so just a little extra info. for this let's take a quick look at real life, ok? now, let's see. the average force it takes to shatter human bones is 1,700 PSI (pounds per square inch). That sounds pretty high right? but now let's take a look at the force the kick of a horse/pony generates. The kick of an equine can generate more than 2,000 psi. that's more enough to break your bones and leave you a twitching mess on the ground.
Now, Rainbow is no horse, but even she should be able to get close to the 1,700 psi necessary to break a human, and please don't forget that through her speed the force behind her attack is multiplied. All in all that means that if zangief was an ordinary human a slightly stronger kick of rainbow would most likely be enough to fatally wound him.
So, to conclude: You ask why they treat humans like wet tissue paper? that's because to them they are....
5726140 That is so true, I would love to see some interactions between Zangief and the EqG mane6 somehow. Too bad it probably can't be fit well into this particular story because there is absolutely no reason to involve them. Oh well...
I am so looking forward to Rainbow getting destroyed, she's way too full of herself for her own good, and it can get really fucking obnoxious.
I just know what Zangief it´s going to pull, Sonic Double Final Atomic Rainboom Buster
IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!
5727236 First section: The only humans Twilight has met was when she was a human. Teenage girl! Why does all of them naturally assume that all humans are female teenagers strength, stamina, intelligence, speed, durability and so on. Must be for comedy sake.
The second section: Even so, it is a show for small girls. It's handling of plot changes from episode to episode. And what the plot demands, the plot will get. You cannot base fact on the show that is inconsistent when it comes to what the characters limits are, nor their strengths or weaknesses . In real life, Twilight would have died from that hilarious comedic moment when all that stuff fell on her head, made of meat-die like meat. Any situation that showcases what a character can do will be subverted or changed depending on the episode.
Last section: Yes, HORSES. Horses can do that. But these are ponies, not horses. Horses are big, strong animals while ponies in the show are half the size of a human. I mean, Angel is a rabbit and he is rabbit sized. Ponies are bigger than rabbits, sure as the screen tells. But they are not Horse sized.
It seems that you believe that ponies are better than humans no matter what sort of counter evidence I will put up, and I believe that ponies are worse than humans and you won't take any evidence that they are from my perspective, so for the sake of the fic I will not respond to any response to this message. Not because I wouldn't do so, but for the fic sake.
because this is devolving into a pointless shouting match in-between two stupid brick walls.
What would the tombstone say?
R.I.P. Rainbow Dash?
Here lies Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty?
Wonder how long it will take them to realized that Zangief is not your average human when the match begins. The guy basically slapped away a spell that would kill anyone else.
Calling Zangief fragile is like call the german maus tank made with titanium everything fragile.
5728597 fair enough. and while i understand your reasoning and respect it, i hate it when things are left open so let me give a few last words.
fist off, i'm going to ignore point three and four. i only added them to help you understand, but i guess they only confused you even more. oh well, my bad. well then, the reason why i think, no why i KNOW that the ponies are the stronger species, is because i followed this author for a very long time now and more or less read all of his stories (except for the trixie one). so, i'd dare to say i have a pretty good idea of what ponies are capable off. but wait, i don't even have to guess because in one of his previous stories "a survivors guide to equestria" we actually have an ordinary human (well technically considering he was a night guard and even started an martial arts apprentice ship at zecora's) face of against rainbow dash and he's completely powerless against her without relying on cheap tricks. so really, it's pretty clear that ponies are the stronger species.
secondly, you still seem to get me wrong. look the only pony who ever interacted with the humans is twilight. celestia tells us that she'd never been to the human world and the others of the mane six never pass the portal, so we can assume that all the knowledge they have about humans is from twilight. now you see this is the springing point. twilight was the one making the deductions, not some random pony. you seem to think that her deductions are purely based on her own experiences, but really why should she do that? that would be way to illogical for a pony like her. instead she most likely observed what humans were capable of and compared it to her knowledge of what ponies are capable of. and before anyone starts and say that eqg is another universe and she would have no point of reference; you are forgetting about twilight element. based on the weight of the crown in both worlds she should be able to get a pretty good grasp on human strength. but i guess if you really want to you can chalk all of this up to me making up things... hmm, don't care
lastly, sorry for that much text. i tried to go with the short version in my first comment but apparently that wasn't clear enough, so i had to do ... well this. anyways thx for being patient with me and wish all of you a nice day. have fun
PS: and yeah, yeah it's all multiverse stuff, i know. my point still stands though.
Twilight calls humans fragile... after seeing Zangief take multiple rocks to the head with no problem
TWILIGHT I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART AND OBSERVANT!!!!
On the other hand... Zangief seems to have some mental blocks, so maybe Rainbow won't go down easily. But I still think Big Mac would be more of a challenge for Zangief.... and I still want to see him try to wrestle an Ursa Minor.
I wonder what would hurt Dash more... Being crushed or her ego crushed
And if Rainbow tries to fly...
OOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT
The ponies have no idea that they just sent Rainbow to die.
RIP in peace in peace
5730036 While that is true, probably not the best example, seeing how much of a waste they were anyway.
Unstoppable force meets unmovable object? Let's see 'bout that.
Oh no. Twilight's teaching Rainbow based on the ordinary-humans she saw, and not about the extreme-extreme outlier that is Zangief. Kinda surprised she's idiot-balling so hard that she doesn't realize how much of an exception he is, to be honest.
So... Who's going to be the new Element of Loyalty?
Hahah, nobody better than Zangief to crumble Chryssie's shell of pride.
I still hope her leg gets fixed somehow.
Cya
Raziel-chan
hehehehehehehehehehe HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
6658039 Zangief! The Element of Mother Russia!!
How did you change the size of your text?