• Member Since 30th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen May 8th, 2015

PonyRob


I'm a brony name Robert

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This story is a sequel to Origin of Dragon Charge(Short Story)


When the land of Equestria is threatened by an ancient evil force, Dragon Charge must assemble a group of heroes to save their home. Based on characters by James McClean, Josh Couch, Rob Hewes and Phillipa Scott. It is recommended that you read Origin of Dragon Charge first.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 6 )
Comment posted by ShadowblazeCR deleted Nov 16th, 2014

Should I be worried that the only comment to be written on this story so far was deleted?

I haven't read this story but it has to many chapter to be a story with only 5000+ words. Maybe you should have made it into a one-shot.

There are several problems with this, not the least of which is the length. Just over 5000 words spread out over six chapters? What possible reason could you have to release something so... light? And by light I mean it's light on words, plot and general storytelling.

Secondly you're not actually telling a story so much as just putting words down on paper. In the prologue you have ponies living in peace and then gargoyles. For no reason. They just suddenly show up like that without any explanation or rational reason behind it. You might want to consider telling a story first. Tell us why the gargoyles are showing up. Have us sit in on the reason they're invading. Maybe a little background on this.

But no, it's just BOOM. Gargoyles. Next scene!

This isn't your average everyday minor cancer, this is advanced cancer.

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