'I Hate Ponies!'
By: Scripture
Chapter 9: History In The Making
Glump!
“Fluttershy! I said I am fuckin fine with this so- GLURP!”
BOOM!
“Whoa! Lyra! Watch out fer this feller!”
Clip-clop, clip-clop
“What am I going to do…”
Not too far away from Fluttershy’s cottage, my thoughts had started to plague my mind with doubt and an assortment of troubles I would have rather not dealt with right then.
But when it comes to our minds, we can’t truly escape it, can we?
I sighed, truly wondering what action I should try next. In all regards, I wanted to go into Ponyville for something… something very personal to me. I sighed though as I trudged on along the forest-line, knowing that my duty at the moment was to try and round up my friend so I could try to talk some sense into him. It was a long shot, but I had to do it before somepony got hurt…
Preferably him! Honestly, I think that a good buck by AJ would set him straight! He had already had so much done to him his life, he doesn’t need-
BUMP!
“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry…”
A smile spread across the zebra’s face as I apologized to her and she nodded her head. “Don't worry, no need to fret! There was something on your mind, I bet!”
To my surprise I had realized that I had run into the rhyme riddler zebra, Zecora. I nodded stiffly at her, and was about to continue on when she tugged on my tail, making me look back. “Tell me, stranger, what’s got you down? Your face does not show it, but you wear a frown…”
“I don’t think I should waste your time, miss… It's kinda long and complicated…”
"I am doing nothing and have the time to kill. Please tell me your story, if you will.”
I opened my mouth once, but then shut it, unsure of my words at first. Looking blankly at the grass, I turned around fully to face Zecora, who had sat down. Following suit, I began to tell her of my problems… and my friends.
“Well…”
===============
We were all in second grade, me, Matt, and Xavier... my two other friends. We didn’t know anything about each other, and didn’t exactly meet eye to eye either. Unfortunately for us at the time, we were made to sit next to each other or be in the same group. Being children at the time, we would complain about it but the teacher refused to do anything about us, day in, day out.
Eventually, it started to become a routine for us. We would get into school, go to our class, deposit our stuff in the cubby holes, and then get into our little table groups. Then would commence the crayon-stealing, block-smashing, and arguments throughout the day.
Oh, the arguments!
Every day we would fight or argue over something completely stupid, whether it was which Power Ranger was the best or one of us taking a bite out of someone’s snack while they weren’t looking. For some reason though, the teacher never split us apart, never. I still don’t know why she did to this day although I can say I am happy she didn't…
===============
“Oh come now Matt! You are seriously injured and you need everything you can get to become better! So hold still…please?”
Matt sighed explosively and reluctantly opened his mouth wide. With a gleeful smile, Fluttershy shot the spoonful of soup inside of his maw, nearly shoving it down his gullet. Eyes wide, he swallowed it quickly and panted heavily, nearly being choked by the instrument of delicious torture.
Fluttershy smiled softly and scooped another spoonful of soup. To her surprise though, there was only air left in the bowl, much to Matt’s relief. However, to Matt’s utter disappointment, the yellow mare suddenly smiled warmly and picked up the tray with the bowl and Jack’s dish on it. “Oh, I will just have to make some more! I will be back in a little bit… alright?” Before Matt could even utter a response, the other pegasus swiftly headed into the kitchen to make more creamy soup.
Immediately, the red-brown pegasus bolted out from his bed and swiftly looked around, finally spotting the door. Screw this! He thought as he started to gallop towards it. This bitch is really nice and everything, but FUCK! I can’t deal with another spoon in my throat!
WHAP!
“OW!” Matt was suddenly blinded for a moment, getting hit in the face pretty hard by something. What the heck it was, he had no clue. Blinking a few times, he shook his head slightly and snorted loudly. His gaze inspected the house, glaring viciously. “Ok, WHO frickin did that?!”
Suddenly he felt a tap by his legs and could hear repetitive thumping from the ground before him. Looking down, he almost laughed out loud as Angel was glaring at him with a small black headband wrapped around his forehead. Going down to his level, Matt chuckled, poking the fluffy bunny once with a hoof. “Snrk! Really? Oh god this is too funny! Funny as it is though, I got to get-“
WHAP!
“OW!” Angel had shot his foot into Matt’s face, forcing him to stagger backwards. He put a hoof to his nose and caressed it tenderly for a moment, and then stared viciously at the bunny. “Ohhhh it is ON!” Angel landed lightly on the floor, twisting his body around to face Matt and smiled, wagging a paw towards himself to taunt Matt.
Matt ridiculously got into a Karate Kid-like pose, letting loose a rather loud, “HI-YAH!” Both of the fighters flew into the air, legs outstretched in slow motion, simultaneously shouting out their warrior cries to initiate their awesome battle.
The fight of the ages had begun!
===============
One day, at recess, I was on the swingset, minding my own business, when some kid came by one day and pointed at me, calling me names and other nonsense things. At the time, I was a chubby, fat kid. I had had asthma when I was born and this made it very difficult for me to do sports as I would tire out quickly. So, after awhile, I gave up on sports and decided to work more on my brain.
This other kid though, from what I got of him, thought it was stupid and made fun of me for it. I didn’t know what to do though. I had never encountered a bully before, or someone who openly mocked my weight issues. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I just let him make fun of me… make fun of who I was…
Then, all of a sudden, his words just stopped. They stopped, just like that. I looked up from my silence on the swing and noticed that the kid was laying on the ground now. He looked like he had been slugged one, the right side of his welting up red like a puff ball. In fact, I found out that he actually had been punched, punched in probably the most cliché way that you could get.
Matt had socked him a good one, right across his blabbing mouth.
“Uh… thanks for that…” I had said.
Matt didn’t say anything to me. He simply nodded his head and sat by me, watching as the kid slowly got back up, stuttering and crying a little bit at us. However, he was really still ticked off and began to charge at us. Both of us, unprepared for the assault, couldn’t get up in time to try and defend ourselves.
That’s when Xavier came and gave the bully another good hit on the other side of his face, sprawling him on the ground.
Right after that, he sat down on the other side of me, a slight smile on his face. Actually, no… We were all smiling. Even though it was through violence, we finally realized that we had been much better friends than we ever thought, despite our differences. And that has held true, throughout my entire life so far…
Unfortunately, we all had to go to the principal’s office shortly after. Oh boy, my mom was mad that day…
Sometimes, more than I would like, that bully comes around in my life and taunts and jeers to me about something or another, but I have learned since then. I have become stronger. Of course it hurts but… All I need to do is let it go right? I should just get away from the jerks in my life, right? Yeah…
===============
“SWEET SASSAFRASS!”
AJ tumbled head over hoof, kicking up a ton of dust and dirt on her way. Lyra, in the meantime, was flying through the air, screaming her head off until she landed into a tree with a nice plup sound… followed by a cacophony of broken branches, creaking wood, and one solid THUD as she hit the grassy field, groaning a bit after impact. Immediately, AJ bolted over to the injured mare, standing beside her as she weakly stood up.
“Urgh… AJ… Where… What…?” Lyra groggily directed at the cowmare, who leaned down just in time to catch the weary musician from falling again.
“Hush now sugarcube! We need ta focus our thoughts on HIM!” The orange mare pointed a hoof at Xavier.
The maniacal unicorn was all smiles and crazy fits of laughter, but his mood was anything but happy. Hehehe… More ponies? OH! THIS WILL BE FUN! It’s like I can Force Push anyone or anything in my path… Hmmm… I wonder… An evil smile played across his face as he stared at a large rock before him, the size of a basketball, and he focused in on it.
Much to his surprise, the rock was enveloped in a dark blue aura and started to wiggle out of the ground, eventually levitating up in the air before him. Inspecting it a bit, he noticed that wherever he focused the rock to, it happened to follow to that place. Another small smile spread across his face as he looked from rock to the mare pair.
“I think it’s time I got rid of this ponies… I think I might go insane if I deal with them anymore…” He choked on a laugh. “Keh… TOO LATE!” Revving up the rock in a backswing, he rushed forward, hurling the rock with him so that it sped across the ground like a bowling ball. Except, it shot at them as if from a cannon!
“MOVE!”
On reflex, AJ barreled herself into Lyra, pushing them both out of the way of the speeding boulder, letting it propel into the distance behind them. Xavier frowned at his failed attempt at bowling and sighed. “Damn… A gutter ball…” Four large round rocks suddenly levitated around Xavier and he smiled madly. “NEXT FRAME!”
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
A white mare happened to be outside that day, carrying around a small brown bag in her mouth. She bobbed her head to an unknown rhythm, her thoughts preoccupied with who knows what. All that she simply wanted to do was have a simple lunch in the fields today.
In all honesty, she hadn’t even wanted to go and get lunch today. Originally, it was her plan to stay home and make food while she tried to complete some of her tedious work. Her profession wasn’t exactly the easiest and it always demanded her to become better than her competition, granted there wasn’t much in Ponyville.
Today, though, she decided to let herself relax a little bit instead of being cooped up indoors for immeasurable amounts of time. One of her dear friends told her that she was starting to worry about her lack of… well, sunshine in general. ‘It isn’t healthy,’ she told the blue-maned mare. ‘Darling, you should honestly get some fresh air.’
Yeah, yeah, yeah… just get me a cider a day and I am fine… the mare sighed in her head. Now, instead of enjoying the comforts of her old bed, she had the hard ground and itchy grass. Great.
“Well, at least today is nice… ya know?” She asked nobody in particular after reaching the fields and spitting out the paper bag. The mare licked her lips, eyeing the bag hungrily, and tentatively opened it up into a neat, but usable, paper square.
What was inside made her tear up a bit in joy at the sight of her luxurious lunch.
What lay before her was a Sammy Sandwich Super Special; a foot high sandwich containing three types of daises, two layers of hay, two more of straw, a smattering of ketchup, and a melted cheese layer which drenched the entire sandwich in a beautiful yellow coating between two delectable slices of white bread. It had taken the last of her bits for awhile to buy this supreme sandwich, but looking at it… It was worth it for the mare.
The white mare smiled and looked up into the sky, closing her eyes for a moment. “Thank you, Celestia, for this meal I will be devouring and engorging with no remorse. If I had a can of cider, it would be perfect, but this will be reward enough… NOW I MUST NOM!”
The white mare began to pounce upon the sandwich. The sandwich, however, happened to magically become flat upon the ground, smeared across the grass in an assortment of colors and textures. Her expression froze, her grand smile following the flattened trail of the plastered food, finding the source of the disaster to be a rather large rock. One that, after her gaze searched for the source of the ballistic, belonged to a laughing dark blue stallion.
A laughing dark blue stallion.
A laughing stallion.
Laughing.
…
…
…
…click
“I WILL POUND THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THAT GUY OR SO HELP ME MY NAME IS NOT VINYL SCRATCH!”
In her fit of rage, Vinyl stampeded over to the fight, kicking up grass and dirt at an incredible pace, shoving her one-way glasses on her nose. She ferociously snorted and picked up speed.
THIS GUY IS GOING DOWN!
===============
A few years after the bully, in about 4th grade, was the next incident. This time it wasn’t me that had the problem though. It was Matt that had the problem, and every day I feel sorry about his situation…
Xavier and I didn’t know much about Matt to be perfectly honest, even after the few years we began to hang out. Every time we would ask to come over his house, or mention his family, he would either deny us from going or not even answer us. Try as we might, he wouldn’t budge about it and usually would get pretty steamed up about it. He has always had a short temper, but when it comes to his family, he will not tolerate it one bit.
It took us awhile, but we eventually were able to figure out why he was so against us knowing about his home and family. I just wish that we, or rather everyone, found out in a less… public way…
In the middle of lunch, while we were eating, we all suddenly heard shouting in the hallways. Everyone froze in mid-bite and looked over towards the cafeteria entrance, wondering who was making such a ruckus. Turns out, it happened to be the principal trying to hold back a man and woman arguing bitterly. Immediately I turned to Matt, about to say something to him, when I noticed he was pale. Very pale. And the couple just kept coming closer and closer to us, the principal not having very much luck getting through to them.
After finally reaching us and hovering over Matt, who was scrunching himself more and more into a ball in his seat, the argument rose to a peak, both of them screaming at each other now. It was terrible, watching the two of them. But it only got worse.
All of a sudden, the angry man snapped. His fist flew through the air, flying at the woman, hitting her across the face. She fell to the floor without a sound. No shout.No shriek. She just fell like dead weight, right in front of a nearly crying Matt.
Immediately afterwards the teachers finally jumped in, deeming the physical contact as drawing the line, and ‘kindly’ evicted him from the building. The woman was tended to by the school nurse until the cops came by where she answered questions. Matt was also brought down to be asked a few questions too, but he didn’t say anything much. Or at least, that’s what he said.
This was how we met Mr. and Mrs. Keller and how their son, Matt Keller, was revealed to have a difficult life in an old broken down house and abusive father, who went to jail for both child abuse and assault and battery. Ever since that incident, his hotheadedness took on his actions and he began to not care anymore, simply choosing the most headstrong answer.
There has been only one rule with Matt, one rule that Xavier and I always abide by to look out for our friend…
Never talk about his father. Ever.
===============
“So, uh… Matt… do you- Oh my!”
Victoriously sitting on top of a sprawled out red-brown pegasus was Angel with crossed arms and a tapping foot, his gaze never moving from the stallion. Matt cringed a bit when he saw the bowl of soup coming towards him, but cringed even more when Angel’s foot tapped a little bit harder than before.
Fluttershy tsked softly and shook her head slightly. “I see… so you tried to escape while still injured…” Gently, she placed the soup on the table and stood before Matt, eventually sighing again and fixing him upright. Angel, in the meantime, was making sure that Matt wasn’t going anywhere by staring at him from on the table.
“…Fuckin crazy rabbit…” Matt murmured under his breath, glaring hotly at the white lapine. Angel smirked slightly and looked at Fluttershy for a moment, who only nodded. A bit grumpily, the bunny hopped away, heading for the door to outside.
The yellow mare smiled softly and started to take off Matt’s bandages, making them both wince. Matt from the pain and Futtershy with the nice welt on his head. “Ow… that must have REALLY hurt, especially since it was from a kick from Applejack and-“
“Yeah, well, that bitch didn’t need to kick me so hard! My head is fuckin throbbing because of her!” Fluttershy went rosy in the cheeks, shocked at the foul mouth of this Pegasi. Matt however, didn’t care and kept on going. “I mean, first I fuckin wake up, having this nice ass dream and everything. Then I learn, ‘Hey! I’m a FUCKIN pony!’ and now I have to deal with it. NOW I am getting a fuckin smackdown by that bastard white bunny and my face fuckin stuffed with soup every four seconds when I can PLAINLY do it myself… if I even frickin want it!”
A tense silence hung between the two of them, Matt’s anger and frustration slowly increasing while Fluttershy was completely speechless. She had heard words like these used before, but they had been far and few between. The mare didn’t know that someone could use them in a sentence like that so many times!
“Well, I-“
A knocking on the door interrupted the pegasi, wondering who it could have been. She didn’t think that Jack could have found Xtra that quickly. But you never know… This is Equestria after all! She thought cheerfully, trotting over to the door.
Before she could even get towards the door however, it clanged open with a BANG, making Fluttershy jump a mile and hit the ceiling like a cartoon cat.
“Hey! Yo! Fluttershy! You home?”
Matt watched as a rainbow maned mare trotted inside, looking around a bit in curiosity. After a few moments, she noticed Matt on the couch and cocked an eyebrow in suspicion. “Hey, who the buck are-“
“Oh! Rainbow Dash! It’s you!”
Rainbow looked doubly confused now until the yellow mare detached herself from the ceiling, to which the cyan coated mare chuckled. “I swear Fluttershy… sometimes you get too literal with the whole ‘Fraidy Cat’ thing…”
Fluttershy blushed a bit and was about to speak when she was interrupted by a short burst laugh from Matt. Both mare’s looked at him and saw he had gotten up from the couch and was smiling broadly. “Heh… Hehehe… Oh god… this is too precious…”
Both mare’s looked completely confused, RD getting a little frustrated at the unseen joke. “What do you mean by that, bub?”
“His name is Matt Maxum.”
“Whatever. Matt Maxum, whats so ‘precious’?”
Matt suddenly snorted again and laughed heartily, open about his giggle fit, making the rainbow mare snort derisively. She took a step forward. “Tell me. NOW.”
The stallion snickered once more and wiped a small tear in his eye, finally getting his bearing. “Ok ok…” He took one deep breath and snorted explosively, laughing as he spoke to her. “Oh god… you’re… you’re… a r-rainbow-colored puh-pegasus! And-and you are like, THE stereotype tomboy so… so… snrk!”
Neither mare didn’t see where this was going but RD did NOT like to be laughed at. She snorted again and stomped the ground once. “What about it bub?! It’s how I act, that’s all! And the mane is all natural, if that’s what you’re thinking, and its-“
“SO FUCKIN GAY!”
Matt’s laughter doubled over as both of the mare’s expressions immediately went to complete shock, their jaws dropping about half a foot each. This is so frickin hilarious! I can’t believe that this show has a gay pony in it! What the fuck! Matt went to his knees he was laughing so hard and he clopped his hoof on the wood flooring a few times.
It took Rainbow a few moments to reattach her brain to her body and her face suddenly flushed a shade of red, her eyes leering down at the stallion. She clenched her wings tightly as he continued to laugh at her, her hooves digging into the floorboards slightly in anger.
“Stop… LAUGHING AT ME!”
Before Matt knew it, Rainbow had scooped him up, brought him over to the door, and dropkicked him out of Fluttershy’s house. He didn’t really care though since he was escaping a ninja rabbit and a bothersome yellow mare! What he did care though was the landing…
"Ahhhh fu-"
Getting a few good yards of ground distance, he spit out a wad of grass and dirt from his mouth. He grimaced and got up from his launch, dusting his coat off with his wings and hooves. Sighing a bit, he turned around at the angry mare and glared at her, sticking a hoof up, forgetting for a moment that he didn’t have a middle finger. “Goddammit…”
Rainbow, however, knew exactly what the gesture meant. Apparently, it meant the same thing. In another fit of anger, she grabbed some pots and pans and began hurling them at the stallion in rapid procession. “Take! That! You! Stupid! Frickin! Ass! Hole!”
Used to similar situations with similar girls, he narrowly dodged each of the pans and pots, thankful he did a few times as his injury wasn’t bandaged now and fully exposed to everything. Fluttershy, behind Rainbow, tried to plea with her not to harm Matt, but she was totally ignoring her, still lobbing the utensils at him.
Matt chuckled and stuck his tongue out at her. “Ha! Stupid bitch! You can’t get me with those things! Anyways, you helped me get out of that nuthouse! So you can suck long and hard on my left nu-
HOLY SHIT!”
Who knew that ponies could throw entire tables?! Stupid crazy ass bitch nearly killed me…
…
…
…
…I hate ponies…
===============
Now, Xavier… Xavier, for as long as I have known him, has been very… unstable. Basically, he is a mixed bag of emotions and mental problems under a veil a perfect life and a mask of a good natured being. However… I am the only one that truly knows what goes in his mind. He never trusted Matt enough with his personal secrets.
Xavier was adopted, several times by several families over the years. Most families thought that they would be able to take this child, this well mannered youth, and make him part of their family. At one point, I hate his previous families for dumping him off to another home. At the same time, I am glad they did, only for the fact that it lead him to our town.
It was his seventh family and second grade was his first year in town. This family would be his last, but the scars of the previous ones would last… and have been haunting him since they got rid of him. Just think about it… Basically, you are given a home, love, a family, a bed, food, water, your own room.
Then, in a blink of an eye, they turn around and give you back, whatever the reason may be. They are saying, ‘Sorry, we don’t love you that much,’ and chuck you away like used trash. Could you imagine that as the beginning to your life? Having families repetitively say they don’t want you anymore? It sounds absolutely… horrible.
I can’t say how heart wrenching that was though. Xavier was the one who went through that hell.
Finally, he was able to settle with a family, the Hendricks. Mr. and Mrs. Hendrick were fairly rich and successful individuals and both wanted a child. What they eventually decided to do was to adopt a child, only so they didn’t have to deal with childbirth, labor, and them being a baby. For them, Xavier was a perfect child for them. Quiet, smart, obedient. That’s all they cared about, as if they were looking for a new couch or décor to their lifestyle.
What they didn’t expect however was the emotional problems Xavier would occasionally spiral into. Depression is a horrible horrible thing, Zecora, and from what my friend has told me… its possibly the worse thing to happen to you.
Basically, he started not to care. He obeyed, he did, he followed. As the years went by with me and Matt being his friends, we started to notice him becoming more slothful, more isolated. He would often just sit by himself, head leaned forward, staring into nothing. His brain was his only place of seclusion, but for him, I knew it was also his torture chamber.
One day, in seventh grade I believe, Xavier wasn’t in school. Neither Matt nor I knew exactly why, but we assumed he must have been sick or something of the like. You know, nothing big. We went through the day, blind and deaf to what had really happened to our beloved friend.
When I got home, my mother immediately hugged me as I entered the door. At first, I was surprised by the sudden action of love, but then I could hear her sobbing and muttering out several burbles about Xavier. I couldn’t understand much, but I heard four key words to what she said…
‘…Xavier…
…depressed…
…failed suicide…’
I was struck numb by the news and at first I thought that this was some kind of a cruel joke being played on me. However, as my mother continued to weep on me, I slowly became aware that this no joke. Even after our many talks together, he finally decided to take the drastic measure, even after I pleaded with him not to.
This was only the start of the downward spiral for him.
===============
Xavier chuckled as he bowled over two more of the rocks at Lyra and AJ, who barely dodged the rocketing stones. He laughed heartily and smiled broadly. “Oh come ON! I just want ONE strike here! Hmmmm…” His eyes stared at a large boulder to the left of him. “Ahhhh yes! Maybe some bigger BALLS are needed! Hehehe! Balls...”
The orange mare groaned at the sexual innuendo, her breathing heavy and labored. Lyra was also finding it more and more difficult to keep up this game of dodge-the-stones. She had tried to use her own magic to stop the rocks but the speeds of them were often too fast for her to stop on time. Instead of wasting energy on the rocks, she focused on dodging them, but wasn’t expecting Xavier to have so much stamina to him.
It was when the boulder nearby started to lift from the ground that she really was taken aback at his raw magic strength. AJ and her had their mouths hung open in awe, wonder, and terror. Lyra gulped and got a bit closer to AJ, wondering if they could possibly outrun him. This guy is CRAZY strong! It’s like he’s possessed or something!
The stallion finally had the boulder next to him and he chuckled softly, looking at it for a second. Suddenly, his face wrinkled in disgust and he scraped a patch of moss on it with his hoof. Inspecting it once more, he grinned evilly and looked at the mares. “Sorry ladies, I’m not a big fan of moss!” With that said, he roared as he stepped forward, swinging the large boulder speedily towards them.
Screaming and yelling, the two mares clung to each other, Lyra trying her best to repel the huge rock with her magic.She knew it wasn’t going to be enough however. THIS IS THE END! OH WHY HAD IT BEEN A PSYCHOPATHIC STALLION?! WHY?!
All of a sudden, the stress of the magic started to relieve itself, the large boulder taking a sudden right turn, nailing the tree besides them. It creaked and moaned for a second until a shattering split formed along its trunk, felling the strong plant. Both mares were shocked at the results of the impact and looked back at Xavier, who was equally surprised. “But… I aimed STRAIGHT at you! You shouldn’t have been able to block that!”
“Guess again, asshole!”
AJ and Lyra quickly looked behind them and saw a sight for sore eyes stampeding straight at them… and past them! Before they could even utter a word out, Vinyl Scratch has raced past them and towards Xavier, who was entirely taken aback by the suddenly forward approach against him.
“Hey! What the fuck do you think you are- OOF!”
The white mare hadn’t lost any steam in charging the stallion, ramming her entire body right against him and hurling him a bit away. However he was bit bulkier and got up relatively quick, although a bit more shaken now. His smile faltered a bit and he stared at Vinyl sketchily, as if unsure about this new adversary.
“You… you are not like the others… are you?”
“Others? You bastard! All I care about is my fuckin sandwich you rolled over!” She stomped angrily on the ground, taking a firm step forward at Xavier. “AND I come over to see you try and smash two of my friends! What the FUCK is wrong with you buddy?!”
At this point, it wasn’t clear who was more shocked at the DJ’s language; Xavier or the mare pair! The stallion shook his head a bit, hitting it a bit with one of his hooves. What… what the fuck is this shit?! She swore… but it’s a KIDS show! A LITTLE GIRL’S show! Why would… why did she… She's powerful too but... Ugh… Just go away… Just… just…
“GO AWAY!”
Bolts of loose magic suddenly sprayed around everywhere, striking limbs off of the trees and leaving small scorch marks on the ground. Lyra, AJ, and Vinyl all jumped backwards, trying to dodge the initial barrage, but didn’t expect the attack to be so broad and long. Suddenly, they found themselves doing a little dance as they tried to avoid the magical shots, watching as Xavier kept repeating the phrase over and over again, seemingly not caring about anything going on around him.
AJ danced around helplessly, trying to avoid the bolts as best as she could. However, she did notice Vinyl was slowly moving forward by hopping and dodging the magic as best as she could. “C’mon Vinyl! Get ‘im before he goes on a real rampage!” Vinyl didn’t respond but kept her gaze fixed on Xavier until she was only a foot away from him
“Get away! Get away! Get away! Get away! Get-“
“Fuckin’ Celestia, WE GET IT ALREADY! HIIIIII-YA!”
Much to the surprise of basically everypony there, Vinyl stood up, cracked a hoof, and grinned even more manically then Xavier had been. Xavier’s fountain of magic was just arcing over her but he was frozen in place, fear, uncertainty, and hatred keeping him in place.
“Now… REVENGE FOR MY SUPREME SANDWICH YOU JACKASS!”
Without hesitation, the white mare uppercutted her hoof at the stallion, nailing him square in the jaw with a painful SHMACK! Immediately the magic stopped spewing, Xavier flew backwards, the Vinyl grinned madly in her victory.
Ugh… I’m… I’m gonna lose consciousness… My energy… feels so drained…
…that pony…
…she… she…
…
…
…Fuck, I hate ponies…
With that, he landed on the ground with a solid THUMP, totally knocked out from the fierce blow Vinyl had given him. A few seconds later, Lyra and AJ had trotted over to her, looking past her at the mad-pony's prone body.
AJ whistled lowly and stared at Vinyl, cocking her eyebrow a bit. “Jeez Louise Vinyl! You sure do have a good punchin’ arm! Whatcha do? Work out?”
Vinyl only chuckled as she went back onto four feet. Nonchalantly she waved a hoof and grinned a bit. “Nahhhh there’s just a few things you don’t mess with in my life… One, is my music. Two, is my friends. And the third and most important one…” She took a step forward and glared heatedly at the knocked out stallion. “IS DON’T MESS WITH MY FUCKIN FOOD!”
The other two mares took a step back and looked at each other, not entirely certain what to make of the local disc jockey. Lyra hummed a bit to herself in thought and stared blankly at Xavier for a little bit, when a sudden thought occurred to her. “Oh, yeah! What should we do with… him?”
Vinyl immediately smiled broadly, her grin something of the maniac kind once again. The two other mares shifted a bit where they were and worriedly glanced at each other. Vinyl enveloped the dead-weight pony in her magic and chuckled softly. “Oh, I know EXACTLY what we can do with this sandwich crusher…”
===============
After his suicide attempt, it was incredibly awkward for us around him. He was always very distant, quite cold, and usually quiet. We had never had an experience like this before, but me and Matt always tried to cheer him up in whatever way possible. Sometimes we would be able to get through to him, him smiling for a few minutes, but he always reverted back to his forlorn ways.
Then, one day, he tasted a bit of power.
We were playing a game called Monopoly. We had never tried it before simply because it was a board game and nobody had been in the mood for it until then. I set up the board and explained the rules really quick, and Matt and I noticed a bit more of animation from Xavier. He actually seemed interested in the game.
So, on we played, late into the night, and it was the first time in a whole year after his incident that he truly laughed, truly smiled, truly enjoyed his life. Well, it might have been because he was absolutely crushing us in the game, but either way, Matt and I were very happy to see our friend return to normal.
But when the game stopped, he slowly slipped back into the rifts of his depressive self. Matt wasn’t feeling up to play Monopoly all the time, as neither was I, so we tried to think of an alternate solution to help him out. We thought about it for a long time but never could come up with anything until his birthday finally came around.
The birthday party was excellent, due to his rich foster parents basically going all out to try and cheer him up a bit. Even they weren’t THAT totally cold, and after his incident, felt some resentment at their treatment of him. Xavier, though, sat at a table all day and stared distantly at the grand party before him… that is, until his friends came along.
Matt had plopped the gift in front of him carefully and smiled widely, me being right behind him. We urged him to open this gift up early and eventually, he caved in and tore the wrapping paper apart. Much to his surprise, it was a, uhm… it was something that could help him make music. He looked it over a bit and wondered why we had given it to him.
Basically, I gave him his other gift, which he still loves to this day.
It was a pair of soundproof headphones, specially designed and everything, colored dark blue and black. Without hesitation, he whipped out his MP3 player and put the headphones in it, blaring out some music to test them out. He smiled wide then and suddenly hugged us both. Neither of us minded though. We were honestly kind of hoping he would…
And that’s what started him on his music business. It was something he had control over and could control at a constant basis. Whenever he felt like it too, he could-
===============
Suddenly, I stopped speaking for a second, making Zecora cock and eyebrow in confusion. My mind reeled a bit at a revelation going on in my head, an idea that suddenly popped into existence from nowhere. Zecora got up now and smiled slightly, craning her neck at me. “A revelation has come to you, I see. Now, where is it that you need to be?”
Now it was my turn to smile and I got up myself, nodding my head at Zecora. “Thank you very much Zecora. I guess… I guess sometimes some ponies just need another pony to talk to… or in this case, a Zebra!”
We both chuckled for a second before she motioned her head to a nearby path. “Take that path to get to your friend. I know you can find the answer at its end!”
“Thanks again!” Immediately I raced off, hoping that I was able to reach my sick friend in time. He had cracked and cracked hard, along with having more power than he should. This was more or less a recipe of disaster and if he learned to fully control his magic powers, it would be ruinous for the town. However, I knew the only way that could anchor him back to reality, back to THIS being real.
I just hope I get to him in time…
===============
“…I did not realize they had such strife…”
“Neither did I, in all honesty…”
Scritch-scratch
“… Let us wait until sundown… I… I need to think about this a bit more now…”
“Its fine, we shall wait until then… But please…”
“Hm?”
“Please know what you have gotten yourself into…”
A smile in the darkness flashes white and a melodic giggle resounds. “Oh, I know. I am only after one of them anyways!” A slam of doors and silence.
“…”
Scritch scritch scratch
A/N-
IM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! But... jeez, you got three chapters worth here so... ENJOY! :D (Also, because i so lazy, there probably WILL be mistakes so if you DO see them, please point them out XD)
Did you just make a TF2 reference?
883225
Where?
AND I KNOW WHAT YOUR AVATAR IS FROM NOW!
883281
*thinks about it for a second* Uhmmmm... No. I'm gonna say he has sandy brown hair, like really light hair.
883358
Ahhhhh SANDVICH!
883376
Dammit all this talking about sandwitches is making me hungry. Imma gonna eat some lunch.
not bad :) keep it up
I mean MOAR
oh look
another 'HATERZ IN EQUESTRIA' story combined with the usual 'Brony in Equestria' story. How original. The dialogue met all my expectations, in that it was bad, trying too hard to be funny, and not at all how real people talk.
You know, for once I'd like a story that portrayed people who didn't like the show as actually decent people, and not forced stereotypes of awful people? Because it makes the writing seem a lot less immature. Does this appeal to people? Honestly? I don't know what about 'Making cliches and stereotypes out of people who simply dislike a show' appeals to writers and readers, but I see this shit a lot on the site. I don't get it.
Was the end of his conversation with Zecora supposed to be in italics?
Nice chapter, good backstory
REALLY liked the seen with Xavier wielding ungodly amounts of magical party, as well as your protrayl of Vinyl! It was awsome
I have a feeling that i should pay more attetntion to those odd bits at the end of the chapters though, they may be important
I agree with Vinyl: Don't mess with mah food! (includes sandvich)
883432
*bonks head* Idjit!
If you did not know this, which I think I have mentioned in either the comments or author's notes, is that basically these characters are how my friends act and YES they do talk like this... A lot... T_T I'm not exactly proud of it, but these character are not stereotyped; they are characters based off of real people in my life.
And anyways, I didn't expect this story to get publicity like it did. I think I did a horrible job on it and I KNOW it could have been better. I didn't even know that there were already a few 'Haters in Equestria' stories out there already. I assumed I was the only one, which I found out was totally wrong! And cliche's? Yeah, there are some. The second chapter is called 'Cliche Beginnings' for crying out loud!
Decent people? Yes, there ARE brony haters who ARE decent people, namely my best friend. I told him I was a brony and he loathes the show and still calls me gay for watching it. However, we still hang out, go to Taco Bell, and play Skyrim together. This story, at least right now, it focusing on the hating side of the bronies... and if they weren't somewhat decent people, Jack would have stopped being with them awhile ago, hm?
I could have easily deleted your message but I decided not to so I could address you instead and try to clear up some things with you.
So yeah, dude, I understand what you are saying, but c'mon... there is critiquing and then there's hating...
883432 i for one actually like this story. if you don't then just stop reading it. if you want a brony story that's not a stereotype then go make one. in truth i think you just read it so you could be a troll about it.
883456
No, it was not because it went out of him telling her about the past~
883458
I thought that, since he was a stallion unicorn, he had more stamina/strength than a normal mare unicorn but just less ability with it~
And you never know~
883589
APPROVAL BY SPIKE?! F YEAH!
883599
MWAHAHAHAHA!
Wait...
how did you know...?
Beautiful chapter, I must've felt at least five different emotions while reading. Nice to see the backgrounds of Matt/Xavier.
883878
yeah! Basically, i got fed up with explaining my characters, so i described them in this chapter~
883546
>*bonks head* Idjit!
Mature.
>If you did not know this, which I think I have mentioned in either the comments or author's notes, is that basically these characters are how my friends act and YES they do talk like this... A lot...
That's an excuse for bad dialogue and characters?
> T_T I'm not exactly proud of it, but these character are not stereotyped; they are characters based off of real people in my life.
So what's separating this from literally every other self-insert OC than? Honestly answer me here.
>And anyways, I didn't expect this story to get publicity like it did. I think I did a horrible job on it and I KNOW it could have been better.
Than why didn't you not publish it like this? Why did you not get people to pre-read it for you? Why, why, why?
>I didn't even know that there were already a few 'Haters in Equestria' stories out there already. I assumed I was the only one, which I found out was totally wrong!
There are literally dozens. I see a few every couple of days.
>And cliche's? Yeah, there are some. The second chapter is called 'Cliche Beginnings' for crying out loud!
So the fact that you point out that your own writing is cliched as fuck somehow excuses that your writing as cliche as fuck? If you point out that your writing is rehashed tropes of other, better things, why write this to begin with? Why not write, I don't know, something original?
>Decent people? Yes, there ARE brony haters who ARE decent people, namely my best friend.
Well you sure portray him as such in-story! /sarcasm
>I told him I was a brony and he loathes the show and still calls me gay for watching it. However, we still hang out, go to Taco Bell, and play Skyrim together.
Wow, he sounds like a genuine asshole. I honestly don't get why you hang out with him if he calls you slurs for petty things like that, but whatever.
>This story, at least right now, it focusing on the hating side of the bronies... and if they weren't somewhat decent people, Jack would have stopped being with them awhile ago, hm?
The thing is though that we have not seen a single decent thing from any of the human OC's though. They're two-dimensional cutouts to fulfill your own nascent fantasies of going to Equestria, not characters we as the reader emphasize with.
>I could have easily deleted your message but I decided not to so I could address you instead and try to clear up some things with you.
Oh yes, it's so nice of you to not just delete my comment. And you know, not the sort of thing any decent author will try to do when writing his story. Don't act like it's some great act of kindness, if you couldn't handle writing out a response to a tame criticism like what I did, you'd be fucked writing anything above fantasies like this.
>So yeah, dude, I understand what you are saying, but c'mon... there is critiquing and then there's hating...
Ah yes, it's always hating when it comes to criticism of you isn't it? There's writing out a good defense for your story and then there's making strawmen out of your opponents. You are doing the latter.
883569
Oh yes, how dare I ever give criticism to someone! I must be a troll by that definition! That makes sense!
Seriously, do you know what trolling is? Because, hey, guess what? I don't think you do.
I am thoroughly engaged. Then the last chapter runs out.
Great stuff, dude.
883996
Well then. That's quite a wall of hate right there.
Sadly, I kinda agree with you. I think part of the reason WHY there are so many mediocre Brony in Equestria stories is BECAUSE they never get any criticism, and the people who actually do comment all can't really tell good literature from bad.
However, I don't think that necessarily justifies taking every line from his comment and critiquing it that harshly. That is a bit much.
883804
As for you, Mister Author:
To further explain what No More Sanity said, part of the reason why this fic is of a low quality is because the characters are really one-sided. Here, you have Matt being a dick and not ever learning the lesson of "don't fuck with the ponies", and never knowing when to quit. Right now, he's pretty much a static character. Xavier on the other hand is a psychopath who decided he'd go full Lesson Zero and destroy everything, while simultaneously getting a Marty Stu upgrade so he's able to be a match for Lyra and Applejack. Silver is the same, too: he's the goody-two-shoes morality man who just wants his two hater friends to love and tolerate and such. They all have a set personality and will fit that stereotype until it's convenient to change it. The problem with all this is that it's not how people think. If a normal human being were to go to Equestria, he'd probably want to get help first rather than attack all the natives. And if his friends want to get help in going back, Jack would be wise to not hold out on explaining his power level to his friends. After all, not only are they IN EQUESTRIA ITSELF, but he's their only chance of getting where they need to go.
The point is, it would be wise to do a couple of things: for one, think about what real people would do in a certain situation. Real people don't usually suddenly try to kill everybody when they have existential crises. (Just imagine him after he knocks Lyra and Applejack out: he'll be going "Now why did I do that? How did that help at all?") For another, get someone to proofread and check for good writing and spelling. NOT just one of your friends, we're talking more about someone who can write well and can recognize bad grammar. Finally, make the characters dynamic and interesting to the audience. Each one needs to have his own goals at any given moment, and their decisions need to reflect that. (e.g. don't make them interrupt what they're doing to suddenly have a fight with a bunny, or to beat someone up over a sandwich.)
You've got a semi-decent fic, but it could do with some improvement. I hope I have been of help in doing that. Good luck!
883281 You're probably thinking of the Eddsworld character Matt.
884441
Just because i am lazy and don't feel like writing a lot...
Yes, there is actually more to these characters than meets the eye BUT they have not been fully introduced yet. Jack, if you noticed at the beginning of the chapter, hints at actually having a goal; "I sighed, truly wondering what action I should try next. In all regards, I wanted to go into Ponyville for something… something very personal to me." I do not want it exposed as of yet though.
His friends however are blocking them from the path. Its either personal goal, or helping his friend.
...I think i will just make the next chapter clear things up a bit more hopefully.
Also, just out of curiosity... where are these grammar mistakes and such? I keep hearing about it but... where?
The last bit with Jack and Zecora isn't suppose to italicized, is it?
883996
Actually, yes, that last sentence sounds more like trolling, since it seems like less of an explanation, and more of just pointing out another person's shortcomings.
884441
No one here has bothered to actually start a civil argument with me. Instead negative opinions are labeled as trolling and whatnot. I took apart his argument piece by piece because he's failed to even try and present a reasonable defense for himself. If that's a bit mean, well tough shit, if he reacts to criticism that hasn't even used insults on him in such a way, he gets his behavior thrown right back at him. He a person acts like a child, you make them realize they are.
884503
And that isn't criticism how...? Negative opinions =/= trolling.
884493 Angel had shot her foot into Matt’s face, forcing him to stagger backwards. shouldn't 'her' be 'him?
Wow, you people sure are nit-picky. Having a few mistakes here and there is hardly reason to judge a writer's work. After all, most of us here are just writing because we like it, not because we are flawless professionals to whom a single mistake could cause untold criticism. Heck, even THOSE type of guys have mistakes every once and a while, i even found a couple in Steven King's works. Focus on the message people, not on the medium. The flesh of an orange is much more important than its skin. Although, some people do tend to get fooled by it, apparently.
Personally, I find this story interesting and generally funny. Pacing is good and i like that the characters used all seem to have weird little quirks that that make them misfits in Equestria. True, i don't like some of the cliché’s used, but some should be expected. I read this in a comic once and it’s a bit out of context but it should fit in the general argument: "The history of all martial arts begins with imitation". Really, there hardly ANYTHING that can be considered TRULLY original in all of man's history. We should just be happy when a person can reduce, twist or manipulate clichés well enough for things to seem new.
However, if there's one criticism i have to offer, its more on the subject of HiE fics in general. I do have to say that i don't really like how humans and human culture are generally bashed and constantly regarded as inferior to that of the Ponies. Really, WHY? I have not seen one case where a normal human's knowledge and natural ability was actually regarded as an asset instead of a minor detail or even a disadvantage. Heck, people even go out of their way to TWIST and BUFF the MLP universe in unreasonable manners, just so it seems like regular people, either they watch the show or not, have absolutely nothing unique or useful to contribute in ANY situation in Equestria. At least with their own natural abilities which were not in some way substandard to their Equestrian equivalent? Really, i just want to see ONE fic where a human introduces firearms to pony culture or Kao Loi-s (Myuai Thai knee) a pony in the face.
That's all, sorry about the rant.
Edit:
883996
I understand that your words ultimately stem from a desire to try and help this writer improve. However, there is, in fact, a large difference between harsh criticism and stomping someone's effort under your foot. I have no place to judge anyone, but you should stop once you've stated your argument. If the person you were referring to ignores you, then you should leave it there. You have no reason to either get insulted, angry or personal against something someone said in the net. Especially in a fanfic you have full freedom to read or ignore.
You also need to remember that different people have very different standards. What you may think is badly written or juvenile, could be could seem innovative and upbeat to someone else. As proof: While you dislike this story, many, many people have still read and liked it. You are entitled to your opinion but you need to remember that in the end its just that, your opinion, not some universal truth.
884493
Scripture, you should consider yourself very lucky as an author that you have a person offering criticism like this to you for free. Me and many others have always wanted and needed someone to step in and point out our flaws like that. If people were perfect, they would never evolve and as such, a flawed individual who believes himself to be as such will never reach his true potential. That's why people say that humbleness is the mark of accomplished men, because its what helps to actually shape them.
884910 884503
Dang... I thought i fixed that! thanks
885991
Thank you very much for the irony and yes I thought of the 'Epic Wub' video for that scene and to base Vinyl's personality on
885196 884791 884441
Honestly... I fell asleep after his second comment and woke up like, 10 minutes ago, reading up on what everyone had to say.
Darksidedownloaded, thanks for firstly the defense of me. Secondly, you actually said a LOT of what my friends also said on the matter, except in a more formal way which made me feel better Thirdly, I already know i am not perfect and honestly, I DO like critiquing, just critiquing that is less harsh in general...
In the end though, I actually thought about my characters a lot before i slept and will probably be changing a few things as my chapters progress. I feel bad for having people read 9 chapters of blandish characters. OC's, as you guys more than likely know, are hard to entirely formulate right off the bat. Sometimes, i make great characters. This time, I didn't think very much into my characters and simply wanted to belt out chapters.
Hopefully this issue is resolved and, if you would, check out the next chapter when I complete it. It should help with this whole character situation and hopefully finalize some things. Like Darksidedownloaded said, nobody is perfect after all.
Also, just to quickly address the cliche stuff usage... I suppose it was a bad attempt to try and twist old cliches into something different... Its hard to think original! Lol
And to Darksidedownloaded with the human knowledge vs. MLP knowledge... If you think about it, they actually have better technology than we thought, so they might already have guns and such in their world... Example; Party CANNON. Trains and cars (flim flam brothers), RD being a black belt (I believe in the Cutie Pox episode), ovens, giant batter mixers, etc... I'm not disagreeing with you, no, but besides like MASSIVE weaponry... I think the MLP universe actually already has a good bit of science/technology/culture we have... Just they don't apply the technology/rely on it as much as we do.
'Twas a thought I had when you guys mentioned the human information aspect in Equestria~
885196
>I understand that your words ultimately stem from a desire to try and help this writer improve. However, there is, in fact, a large difference between harsh criticism and stomping someone's effort under your foot. I have no place to judge anyone, but you should stop once you've stated your argument.
I did on the fic itself. When it came to people calling me a troll for having a different opinion, that is where I continued the discussion. In all honestly it's probably not the best thing to do, but I felt like justifying my position given the nature of the comments directed against me personally.
>If the person you were referring to ignores you, then you should leave it there.
No one ignored me though; that's the problem. The author made a weak defense of the points I brought out, and some asshole called me a troll for very bad reasons.
>You have no reason to either get insulted, angry or personal against something someone said in the net. Especially in a fanfic you have full freedom to read or ignore.
First off, by that logic if someone uses a slur against me I shouldn't be angry, even though everyone has the right to react emotionally to words. Just because it's on the internet doesn't mean you have the right to act like a shitty human being. And just because I can ignore this tripe, doesn't excuse the bad parts of it. If anything, it comes off as a lazy defense of the fic from people who have less a right to defend it than I do to criticize it. Maybe you should let the author actually discuss my criticism?
>You also need to remember that different people have very different standards.
And that excuses bad writing? What the hell different standards make that excusable, the standards of people who read nothing but bad fan-fiction?
>What you may think is badly written or juvenile, could be could seem innovative and upbeat to someone else
Okay. Give me someone who thinks this is innovative and upbeat. Give me their reasoning for that. Give me someone who likes this for a reason other than it fulfills their own juvenile fantasies of going too a magical cartoon world to escape this one. If so, I might actually believe you're not talking out of your butt.
Also, innovative and upbeat? You are hilarious!
>As proof: While you dislike this story, many, many people have still read and liked it. You are entitled to your opinion but you need to remember that in the end its just that, your opinion, not some universal truth.
Popularity =/= quality. Twilight, Michael Bay movies anyone? A lot of the top stories on this site are either shitty, cater to the users here to be popular, or are porn (And shitty). So I wouldn't really count on the tastes of the people here to say what's good or not.
Also, when did I say my opinion is universal truth? I said my thoughts on this fic, and no one else has even given the effort of disproving any of them, instead relying on strawmen arguments and petty claims of 'Don't Like, Don't Read.' You aren't making an argument in defense of the story here, you're making one against the very notion that one person can have a different opinion on a piece of shit. And whether a few hundred people like looking and reading it, a piece of shit is still a piece of shit.
886024
Ponies have about the same level of technology we had in the 1930s, but with the addition of magic, it changes things a little, such as the ability to instantaneously communicate and such. And, considering they never really have wars to push progress forward (things like the Space Race and World War II spurred on plenty of new technologies for the world), they tend to be rather conservative in their approach to change.
Of course, as far as we know they could be much closer to the present. After all, the film they showed in Hurricane Fluttershy was pretty dang old. In that case, I'd put them closer to the 80s, without any research into transportation technology.
Either way, something like an iPod touch or a car would still be an amazing innovation to them. That, and the knowledge about science and physics we have only been able to research using technology.
885196 I couldn't agree more. Praise is nice to hear and it makes you want to continue writing, but criticism helps you improve. You learn more from defeat than victory. BUT overly harsh criticism is just demoralizing.
i also agree with so many HiE fics having humans being some kind of terrible monsters with only the bronies being good. I try avoiding that in my own stories, as well as make Equestria not quite the utopia the show depicts, but something not much better than earth.
Over all this is a great story and i think even good people who hate the show would be complete dicks if they found themselves there. i mean think if you were in a show that you hate. For me that's Jersey Shore *shudders*
D-did vinyl...Go super sayain?
this chapter made my day... especially Vinyl :D I applaude you
886125
I still think they have vehicles... After all, the flim flam brothers had their car-like thing. I would say its entirely possible they have locomotion like that around, just that Ponyville doesn't use a lot of it.
Also, in the episode with Twilight meeting herself from the future, she mentions about an "epic pony war", but it wouldn't necessarily mean they had one recently... Just a little tidbit~
But it makes me think about all the hidden technology we don't see in the show... Vinyl's disk jockeying table for example. the electronic microphone that twilight uses to sing at the end of season 2. The bigmachine twilight uses to gauge wing power in Hurricane Fluttershy. I'm actually very curious about this subject now... I wonder how much tech there actually is?
My theory is that with certain technology, they focused it more on that and certain technology they just don't simply have in Ponyville, but more in place like Canterlot.
886181
Lol Vinyl was just being Vinyl... BEING A BOSS!
886215
Thanks!
883432>>883546>>883569>>884441>>885196>>884503
All of you, please stop bitching!
That's all I see. Bitching from both sides!
Chill out, and have a drink!
Bitching gets us nowhere.
Silver out!
886348
You know what else gets people nowhere? Saying slurs and shouting meaningless cries of 'calm down' without either trying to discuss things calmly or have any opinion beyond "DISCUSSING THINGS IN THOUGHT IS BAD."
886367
I would write my opinion but it would take all night to run an in-depth analysis on every aspect and fraction of this argument and I don't have that kind of time buddy.
I'm just trying to calm the tension a bit. Didn't see that as a reason to get attacked.
The point I'm trying to get across it that this is just a story, and terrible or not, a flame war isn't going to make things any better.
You know what? This is a waste of my time. There's no point in trying to reason with people who just going to senselessly attack you anyways.
I better punch out before all of you flood me with hate comments.
Silver out!
886438
Honestly i just want this to be done and over with...
This is really amusing!
This is rather amusing! I like your style, please continue.
886789
So far, so good...
886998>>887083>>887087
THANK YOU~
I myself love this fiction BECAUSE of its imperfections. Not every story starts out complete and perfect, as many know this first-hand. Those offering criticism, in any form, play their part, the author takes another look at his/ her work, changes might be made, this cycle is never ending. and while some break down the argument sentence by sentence and apply their opinions, some are content with a paragraph or 2 to get something across. Everyone's way is different. Now There is also a line you don't cross when critically analyzing a work in progress, and that's being too harsh. Sure, a coddled author can be bad, but many authors are open to criticism as much as to honestly think their own creation is crap just because someone explains, seemingly with a passion, almost EVERYTHING that should be changed (in their opinion.) They also bash on everything the author says afterward in a similar fashion. This criticism is more harmful than good, and sometimes, drives writers away. To be honest, but not drive the budding writer to suicide because the story they gave you the ability to read is below par, is the kind of criticism to give someone. though someone might not proof read it before its put up, doesn't mean that through reading it, no one will. It means he trusts the public to poke at it and point things out to him and as such, make him aware of things he might not have noticed in the first place.
Now that I've said my piece, I can't wait to see how Jack plans on calming Matt and Xavier down to a tolerable level. Should be interesting.
I was going to say some things, but then I saw all the arguments.
Very cool story, enough said.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI
887151
Just first, thanks for the defense and everything~
Second, I can't believe you entered the shitstorm... MAN YOUR STATION OR BE BOMBARDED GOOD SIR! Hopefully you won't be hate-bombed by anyone... I just want this to end... T_T
no problem man, Always here to help, us writers have to stick together. Might I ask you read my fiction? I only have one chapter up, and I'm trying to get the second out, but its still something to read.
886279
Really sorry for writing this in your comments Scripture but It’s been months since I’ve wanted to vent this.
I really sorry, but i REALLY disagree that they have anything NEAR our technology level. For example, Humans have created machines that can perform near to a million complex and logistical calculations in the span of seconds. There hasn't even been a shred of evidence to support that ponies have calculators let alone anything to match even an outdated computer. Also, while people always go "wow, Rainbow dash is so fast, can break the sound barrier" its actually nothing amazing to consider. Rainbow dash is just one extremely talented flier that apparently harbors the unique magic to make this happen, but we have had millions vehicles that can move dozens of times at that speed for decades and that are freely accessible to any person willing to learn to fly a plane, and I’m NOT only speaking about military aircraft, heck, I’m not even speaking about aircraft.
On subject of Flim and Flam's car and the party cannon. I think this is the place where most people seem to confuse possibility with reality. Flim and Flam's car is pretty much the equivalent of a steam powered automobile and it was considered an amazing invention. I doubt ponies even HAVE steam power at this time, their so called trains are just glorified chariots getting pulled by other ponies. As for the party cannon, there is absolutely no evidence that it uses gunpowder to fire. Really, it would make NO sense if it did. A far as i see it, its just magic, plus even if it isn't, there is no reason to believe that ponies adapted this technology to ANYTHING past novelty. Their utopian society would give them no reason to consider adapting it to warfare. Their society is pretty stale like that. Their guard is armed with swords for God's sake. For vinyl's microphone, I’m willing to bet its magic seeing as most ponies don't seem to even have light bulbs in their houses let alone portable batteries. True, the effect is the same, but there is a huge difference in knowing, understanding and being able to twist the rules of physics as opposed to just putting a spell on something to work that way. Frankly, the most advanced pieces of confirmed tech I’ve seen in the show is Twilight's air balloon and Rarity's sewing machine. Okay, i'm willing to consider that they MIGHT have developed alot more in other areas of technology, particularly peace time ones, than things like weaponry, communication and chemistry, but their Utopian society mindset pretty much DEMANDS that that knowlage will be limited and extremely specialised. For example, i wouldn't suprised if they had advanced sporting and exercise equipment or even if i'm wrong and Vinyl's microphone actually is electrical, but that's still very limited development in a very small area of the field of technological science. I may be wrong about this since I don’t watch the show religiously (I don’t really like it. I’m just here for the fandom) but anyone who thinks so is free to have his own opinion and/or correct me.
Anyway, I’m not even talking about only technological advantages here. I'm also thinking about traits like cunning, ability of manipulation, strategic thinking, innovation, adaptability, cruelty, practicality and yes, even brutality. MOST of all brutality. Many people think that it’s a bad thing but in actuality, where a pony might freeze in fear against a timber wolf, a human will panic, grab the nearest rock and start bashing until there's no head left which is positive in my book. I won't even mention secondary knowledge like arts (their level is probably a bit higher in a reinessanse kind of way), martial art skills (which i REALLY doubt are as developed as practical kill or be killed techniques in a society like Equestria), tactics (learned from generations of warfare) and brutal corporate tactics.
I'm not saying that humans are oh so amazing than ponies, but really, people just put them down so much and conveniently forget a lot of our advantages (even minor ones that could make things interesting. Even a blender would probably bedazzle an Equestrian scientist.) that it ends up forgetting that BOTH cultures have AMAZING things to offer and show to each other which takes a lot from otherwise good HiE fics.
Awesome fan fiction! I can't wait for 10 chapter
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Time for an image or something to lighten this DREARY mood...and yes, i'm all about the flame wars. I'm literally a moving target in real life, so why not on the net? Wanna hate on someone? Hate on me!!
To NoMoreSanity. You seem to have my kind of thinking... over-analytical and stuborn. YES, i agree with you in certain terms, YES, You took it too far, and NO i don't give a damn about your opinion or your response, so bugger off!!! And i didn't make this a reply for a reason, to answer this is to admit your just trying to start something by coming back and checking the comments, troll or not. You decide. I don't care.
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884441 In all sincerity, thank you for the translation. Someone had to do it. And b.t.w. your comment about people not reacting like that in an existinal crisis, think again... I, for one, am not the type of person to stay sane NORMALLY, let alone after something like an Unknown Trans-Dimentional Teleportation or something like that... no offence intended.
885196 ANTI-SPIRAL!!! Anyway, you are the first person i've ever seen to actually stay neutral in ANY flame war besides the people who say "Just stop..." You have my respect for that. And on the topic of tech in Equestria, i couldn't agree with you more.
887151 What he said.
887180 Hi again!! I know you want it to end, but i havn't had my opinion put across. (I'm a selfish person, i know...) Hopefully this link will compensate for any damages my coment has... hope you like abridgements...
Purpleeyeswtf Abridgement
You know... for a guy who tries to stay low-profile, i tend to jump right in, don't I?
I totaly forgot about the story... I'm such a dumb-ass sometimes...
>We are all in second grade, me, Matt, and Xavier... my two other friends. We didn’t know anything about each other, and didn’t exactly meet eye to eye either.
>the yellow mare suddenly smiled warmly and picked up the tray with the bowl and Jack’s dish on it
>His gaze inspected the house, glaring (bad capital, ) viciously.
>One day, at recess, I was swinging (verb not needed) on the swingset, minding my own business
>“I think it’s time I get rid of these ponies… I think I might go insane if I deal with them anymore…”
All i could find for you in there. Great establishment on the whole history of the 3, although the circumstances leading up to the explanation was off...
NOW I MUST NOM!
Waiting on the next chapter, keep up the Awesome!!
883804 more than "strength for being a stallion"
I think it is "strength for being totally nuts"
888677
Thanks for everything~ one, and two... whatcha mean "although the circumstances leading up to the explanation was off..."?
And i will try to
889615
lol that too~
883402
YOU AGAIN!!
So. Xavier is crazy. And Vinyl is a Heavy. I see.
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