The screen flickers and it reveals a yellow unicorn stallion with a lab robe and a bowtie.
"Are we on?" He asks.
"Yup." A voice behind the camera responds.
"Hello, do you have an insatiable thirst of knowledge, wish to know more about this wonderful planet, or want to make your mama and papa happy?"
The stallion moves to the side to reveal his cutie mark, that represents a grey planet with rings, and a small building.
"I'm Saturn Eclipse and I present you... Saturn's house of epic learning!" He was rather enthusiastic.
The screen presents static and then shows Saturn inside a laboratory, with some tables with tall chairs on them, on the background there is a periodic table.
"In my institute, ponies of all ages can learn a wide variety of disciplines, here are just some examples!"
The screen presents more static for a few seconds, then Saturn appears on an open field at night with a telescope, the starred sky beautifying the view.
"Astronomy! Say goodbye to social life and friends and say hello to a map of the night sky with each and every star with name, coordinates, mass and location! Also, 'Most of my work takes place at night' is a great pick-up line!" He says with a wink.
The screen flickers and shows the scientist on a room with about five computers.
"Informatics! Learn more about this wonderful new science! Not to mention you learn another language: profanity." He says the last part under his breath.
"Here we have a lucky mare who is learning, let's see how she goes."
The camera points to the cream mare with a blue/pink mane, typing on her computer.
"How are you doing?" Saturn asks happily.
"I know how to start it, but how do I turn it off?
"Well, first you press the start button and-" Saturn is interrupted by the mare.
"No, I told you, I want to turn it off."
"I know, you press the Start button-"
"Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do."
"I did." Saturn is getting annoyed.
"When?"
"When I told you to press the Start button."
"Why should I press the Start button?"
"To shut off the computer"
"I press Start to stop."
"Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer." Saturn is getting mad.
"I knew it! So what do I press?"
"Start."
"Start what?"
"Start button." Saturn facehooves.
"Start button to do what?"
"Shut down." Saturn is angry.
"You don't have to get rude!"
"No, no, no! That's not what I meant." Saturn was is enraged.
"Then say what you mean." Bonbon was is mad too.
"To shut down the computer, press-" Saturn is interrupted again.
"Don't say 'start'!"
"Then what do you want me to say?!" Saturn yells.
"Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop."
"But that's what you do!"
"And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights."
"Don't be ridiculous." Saturn screams.
"I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation." Bonbon shouts.
"What are you talking about?!"
"I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye." Bonbon leaves.
Saturn screams his lungs out punched a computer monitor. His hoof brakes through the hardware.
More static and Saturn is now outdoors in a green field. His gray mane is uncombed and there are eye bags under his eyes.
"Zoology!" He exclaims, his enthusiasm faker than Sapphire Shores' plot.
The camera points towards a small monkey, stereotypically eating a banana.
Saturn starts getting close to it, he says:
"Aww... Such a cute little monkey..." He starts sitting down close to the primate.
"Umm... Saturn? You might not want to sit there..."
"Shut up, Telescope!" Saturn snaps.
Saturn sits down... On the monkey's tail, they both scream and the latter jumps into the former's face, biting and scratching him, the scientist leads out an ear-ripping shriek, meanwhile, a laugh can be heard from behind the camera.
"Telescope! Ahh! Telescope! Help! I'm bleeding!"
"Eventually..." He says, calmly.
"Oh gosh! I can't see out of one eye!"
"Soon..."
"Ahh! I'm bleeding from my horn!"
The camera rotates and it reveals a light gray pegasus with an azure mane and turquoise eyes, he lifts up a note that said:
My name is Telescope Lens, I’m being held against my will, if you're reading this, please send help and/or weapons
"What is that?! Oh no!" Saturn yells.
The yellow unicorn stands up, still with the monkey ripping his hair and jumps towards the camera, the lens brakes and the image screen goes black.
Finally, a poorly written message says:
You can also learn psychology, discover new things about the pony brain! Like I just discovered I am zoophobiac.
Well its true you learn something new everyday
That chapter was kinda bad. Also, needs massive editing. Several instances where "on" was used in place of "in" (writer's native language Spanish? I have a Mexican friend who does that ALL THE TIME after over 20 years' experience with fluent English) and a plethora of other little errors.
5022685 I AM colombian, we speak spanish here, also i'm sorry.
5022715 Yeah, thought as much. You just need to keep practicing. Practice makes perfect. #1 thing you need to work on is the difference between 'in' and 'on'. Like I said, I have a friend who was born and raised in Mexico, learned English as a second language, presently works in Boston, and is fluent (and often more eloquent than I am). The in/on thing STILL plagues him after 20 years. So just work on that, and keep practicing.
Yeah, see, this chapter and the one before are prime examples of how letting your audience submit chapters can be a TERRIBLE idea.
5026449
Well I just sort of made this on a whim and it seemed like a decent enough place where people could submit their own sort of random ideas. I have a few more of my own and of course people have sent me a few more ideas, though I'm not sure when I'll get to them with everything else I'm working on.
Everyone who has submitted either hasn't written much in the way of FIM fan fiction or doesn't seem to do much random comedy, so I'm a just happy I've given a few people the opportunity to try their hands at something new.
5026496 Eh, my point still stands.
5026505 Hey, your opinion is perfectly fine. Maybe I shouldn't be writing random humor. Maybe I shouldn't be writing at all, seeing as I'm a chemist. If I had to write, I imagine myself as more of an action/adventure writer. This was my first time writing something this random, not to mention sociopathic. I accept your criticism.
5029616
I'd say the issue with your writing is more the grammar and spelling than the content. You just need to work on your English more. I think it'd be a shame if you took this as a sign that you should top writing an entire genre or at all.
The start button conversation took me back to 1993. Funny!