The Secret of Sheldon Clopper.

by theanonymousbrony

Cutie Mark Crusader Matchmakers

When morning had finally arrived, I said goodbye to my friends and returned home. And while that was going on, Pecan, Rumble, and Button Mash were heading straight to the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse. As they all entered, they saw Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle slouching near some table with bored expressions on their faces.

"Hey girls," Pecan greeted them, "how're y'all feelin'?"

"Bored!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"Where's Apple Bloom?" asked Rumble.

"She's doing chores with Applejack," said Scootaloo. "How was your slumber party?"

"Oh, well...it was all right, I guess."

"Come on, Rumby, don't lie to me."

"Don't call me that!"

"Oh, so it's OK when your foalsitters call you that, but it's not OK when your own girlfriend does?"

"It's not OK when anypony calls me that; besides, you wouldn't like it if I ever called you Scooty, would ya?"

"Of course I wouldn't like it--and you better not start to, either."

At this point, Sweetie Belle had decided to change the subject, "Where's Sheldon?"

"He went home after the slumber party." Said Button.

"How come you guys didn't bring him along?"

Rumble quickly answered that question. "Well he's not a Blank Flank, so there's really no point for him to come here."

"You're not even in that big of a rush of getting your Cutie Mark, but we let you join us anyway." Scootaloo pointed out.

"Besides, just because he doesn't need help earning his Cutie Mark doesn't mean we can't help him and Apple Bloom get together." Sweetie Belle stated.

"Oh that's right, he has a crush on her." Button remembered.

"Yeah, and I still can't believe he'd just walk away from her back at that party." Said Scootaloo.

"I know, right?" Sweetie agreed. "We practically gift-wrapped that alone time for him, and he didn't bother to take advantage of it?"

"Well, he could've been shy," said Button, "I know I was when I first met you."

"Yes Button, but you at least told me how you felt."

"Well it's not his fault he can't tell Apple Bloom how he feels."

"And Apple Bloom's clearly not gonna willingly show any interest tawards him." Pecan pointed out.

"Exactly," said Sweetie, "which is why it's up to us to help get them together."

"All right Ms. Matchmaker," said Rumble, "and how do ya suppose we do that?"

After a brief thinking, Sweetie Belle shouted, "I know, how about we make them drink a love potion?"

"Oh no, Sweetie," Scootaloo objected, "you remember what happened last time we made somepony drink a love potion."

"Oh, right."

After a little more thinking, Pecan suggested, "How 'bout we setup a picnic fer them?"

"Tried it," said Scootaloo, "even without a love potion it still wouldn't work."

And after some more intense thinking, Button shouted, "I got it! We find some mistletoe and hang it over their heads!"

"That's actually a good idea, Button," said Rumble. "Except there's one little problem...Hearth's Warming Eve isn't until ten months! so how are we suppose to get any mistletoe?!"

"And I suppose you can think of something better?" Button challenged him.

"Well it's not like we can build a kissing booth for those two."

The second he made that statement, he found himself being glomped by Sweetie Belle. "Rumble, you're a genius!" she noticed that Button was having a jealous look on his face; so she quickly released Rumble and embraced him instead.

As Rumble's ribs were slowly recovering, he said, "I take it you have a plan?"

To that, Sweetie said, "You bet I do; and it's gonna work!"

"So what's the plan?" Scootaloo asked.

Then Sweetie started to go over the details. "Simple, we build a kissing booth. First we gather the supplies, and when it's been built, we go get Sheldon and Apple Bloom."

"I can understand Sheldon bein' lenient tawards this," said Pecan. "But how're we gonna talk Apple Bloom inta this?"

"She's always eager to try anything to earn her Cutie Mark," Sweetie Belle stated, "so we just tell her that it's a new crusading activity."

After a moment of silence, Scootaloo finally said, "You know Sweetie...it just might work."

She then let out a beaming smile as she said, "So it's settled; our next activity shall be to make Sheldon and Apple Bloom boyfriend and girlfriend!" then they both bumped each other's hooves as they shouted, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MATCHMAKERS!"

...

As the hours were going by, it was nearly sunset when they had finished building that kissing booth. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had to buy lumber, Pecan had to find a hammer, Rumble had to go to his house and find a box of nails, and Button had to go home and get some paint--only to get distracted by his gizmo. But when the booth was finally built, Scootaloo said, "OK, me and Sweetie will go get Apple Bloom; you boys go get Sheldon." And with that said, they each went their separate ways.

While this was happening, Apple Bloom was just about finished with her chores as she saw Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo running towards her. "Well howdy girls."

"Say Apple Bloom, you think you might be up for a little crusading?" asked Scootaloo.

"Sure, I still have a couple more minutes 'til dinner." As they were both leading her to the booth, Apple Bloom said, "So what are we crusadin' fer this time?"

"It's a surprise." Said Sweetie Belle.

When they finally did reach the booth, Apple Bloom was even more curious, "Are we sellin' lemonade?"

"Uh-uh."

When she saw me, Pecan, Rumble, and Button Mash coming, she started to get suspicious. "What brings y'all here?"

Rumble answered her question, "We heard you ladies were running a kissing booth."

Kissing booth! Me and Apple Bloom seemed to have the same reaction (although the booth did have a sign that said "KISSING BOOTH" in big red letters, so I really should've seen this coming). Apple Bloom turned to Sweetie and Scootaloo and said, "Y'all wouldn't be plannin' on gettin' me and him together again, are ya?"

"Of course not," said Scootaloo, "we just had a feeling that kissing could be our special talent." To make her suspicions go away, Scootaloo decided to go first. She had Rumble pay her a bit and then the two kissed each other. When their flanks were still blank, she said, "Oh well, looks like kissing isn't our calling."

"My turn!" Sweetie Belle was extremely eager for Button to kiss her--if only he wasn't focusing so much on that gizmo. But after a smack to the head, Button quickly gave Sweetie a bit and kissed her. And when their flanks remained blank, Sweetie said in a non-subtle manner, "Oh dear, looks like that only leaves you Apple Bloom."

"They can't be serious." Her inner voice was saying. But seeing as how they won't let her go until she does this, she let out an annoyed sigh and said, "Fine." And as she was waiting for me to pay her, things only started to get more awkward. "Well aren't ya gonna pay up?"

Seeing that she was starting to get agitated, I took my chalk and wrote on my board, "I don't have any money."

Everypony was silent when they read this; as they were all staring at me, Apple Bloom finally said, "You literally came all this way ta a kissing booth, and ya didn't bother ta bring any money?"

"They never told me to bring any."

Apple Bloom then said to Sweetie and Scootaloo, "Well thank y'all fer wastin' my time; it's not like I have other things I could be doin'!" as she stormed away, I could hear her inner voice say, "Who wants kissing ta be their special talent anyway?"

The second she was gone, Scootaloo was the first to say, "Dang it Sheldon, why didn't you bring any money?!"

"How was I suppose to know I'd be needing it?"

"Didn't Button and the others tell you as you got here?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"We assumed it was going to be a surprise," said Button, "so we figured that telling him to bring money would give it away."

Sweetie hoofpalmed herself as she said, "Button, I love you, but sometimes you can be very stupid."

"That's an understatement." Said Scootaloo's inner voice. She then said out loud, "Sheldon, do you even want Apple Bloom to be your girlfriend?" I nodded my head. "Then you need to start seizing these opportunities; first you stood her up at your welcome party, and now you forget to bring money to a kissing booth! Are you even trying?!"

"I tried getting her a drink during that party."

"Yeah, and she never got it; and now she thinks you're an insensitive jerk. And unless you want to spend the rest of your life with Silver Spoon, you better get your head in the game."

At that point, Tex was walking by and said, "Come on Pecan, ya got school tomorrow."

When that was pointed out, Pecan said, "That's right, we got a big test tomorrow. Well, see ya guys." And then we each said our goodbyes--excluding me--and went back to our homes.