"... Well then... so mah brother exploded... don't rightfully know how I'm supposed to feel about this... I mean, Twilight exploded before... twice actually, now that I think about. Once into flames, which doesn't seem to be the case here... and the other time into ashes, but she came right back as a princess... is Mac a princess now? D-does... does that make me a princess...?" Applejack shakes her head. "I don't know what to believe in anymore..."
"Applejack!"
The emotionally confused farm pony lifts up her head from the ground and watches as two of her friends, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, file into the alleyway.
"Applejack!" repeats Fluttershy. "Thank goodness we found you!"
Applejack waves a hoof passingly.
"Oh... howdy girls..." she then waves a hoof over the spot where Big Mac once stood. "... Mah brother exploded."
Pinkie Pie slumps.
"Aw, bummer. Second time one of my cousins did that..."
Fluttershy frowns.
"Girls, he didn't explode. Discord probab-"
Applejack suddenly jumps to her hooves. "Ah hay! I forgot that Twilight told me he was in town helping her!" The earth pony stomps on ground. "Darn it all! This has Discord's name written all over it! What's he doing messing around, Fluttershy?!"
The pegasus looks away. "N-no reason."
The orange mare shakes her head and stomps for a second time. "Uh uh; no way no how, Flutters. Discord is on thin, thin ice and we both darn well know that he wouldn't be using what little power he's got left just to mess with us." The farmer looks away. "I hate him for what he did to us, yeah, and I'm still nowhere near ready to forgive him... but I was told he's been helping you girls out with the whole chaos magic hoopla going on in town right now and if he's okay in your girl's book for that then he's fine in mine..." Applejack looks hard into Fluttershy's eyes. "Regardless though, him suddenly causing trouble again in these parts doesn't add up. What happened, Fluttershy? Tell me, please."
Fluttershy begins to shrink, but a quick breath rightens herself back up again. Pinkie Pie looks back and forth between the two ponies, unsure what to be feeling right now.
"... He's upset over something Big Mac said to me, Applejack." Fluttershy admits gloomily. "I'm sorry. I was the one who told him. I-I didn't think I could hide it from him so I was just honest and, well, Discord got a bit... possessive."
There is a moment of silence.
"... Possessive?" Asks Pinkie. "What, does Discord think he owns you now?" The pink pony giggles as she wraps her friend in a hug. "Heh. Well, hate to break this to him, Fluttershy, but you're totally ours! Want us to file a cease and desist on him, filly?"
"Wait a tick," says Applejack. "Possessive, Fluttershy? He got possessive...? W-what... what in the hay did mah brother say to you?"
This time, Fluttershy does shrink into herself.
"U-um, well... h-he, um... you see..."
Applejack taps a hoof. "Clocks a' ticken, girl."
"H-he... h-h-h-he said..."
Pinkie releases her grip on the pony. "He said...?"
"... That I have a nice flank."
Another moment of silence passes.
"... Wha?"
"He said I have a large but very nice flank!" Fluttershy finally admits. "T-that's all he said! He was in a hurry and galloping towards town and I was heading back home w-when we crossed paths and I said hi to him and he said that back!" The shy pony covers her blushing face with her wings and shrinks down to the ground. "I-I flew home as fast I could after that, so very very embarrassed, a-and just had to go somewhere to organize my thoughts.
"... It was kinda nice though, I'll admit..."
"..."
"..."
"... So, yeah, ignoring that last bit," Applejack says, taking charge. "You told all of this, 'cept I'm willing to bet not that last bit, to Discord and now he's angry at my brother... what the hay are we going to do about this, girls? We can't just let him have his way with Big Mac!"
"Isn't Discord still super duper weak from losing his magic to that big old meanie a few weeks back?" asks Pinkie. "He can't do that much to him... right?"
"T-that's true," Fluttershy replies. "He hasn't been able to do the things he normally could do... he can't even teleport that far anymore!"
"Really? Whew," exhales Applejack. "Well that's a relief. If he can't go that far, then that means Big Mac must still be in town somewhere!"
"Yeah," says Pinkie. "But... where?"
___________________
Big Mac awakens groggily. His head feels like mush and his muscles are more sore then they've ever been. Running through a building will do that to a pony, true, but the red stallion is usually very resilient to such aches and pains.
Now though, he can hardly move an inch.
Well, except for his constantly flapping mouth.
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Think I'm gonna hurl... nope. Still in pain though. Ow. Ow. Ow... n-need to talk to somepony. N-need. Neeeeedddd... h-help me..."
"... Big Macintosh?"
With some effort on his part, Big Mac slowly lifts himself back up onto his hooves. It is only now does he see the stars in his eyes caused by the sudden magical relocation. Blinking a few times, the stars begin to dissipate until he can fully see the pony before him.
Big Mac stares into the unicorn's blue eyes.
Rarity stares back...
... along with the rest of the patrons of the very crowded Sugarcube Corner.
A whimper escapes the stallion's lips as his ears flatten against his skull.
"N-nope..."
Okay...this chapter was brilliant!
It earns the fave and I wholly anticipate the epic cluster the next chapter brings.
static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/11/116059/2283704-PinkiePiePopcorn.jpg
Well, it's hit the fan now.
Kinda want to see what happens when Mac finally talks to AJ. Much sadness?
awesome. Just plain awesome.
5003443 I second that image.
And wow, just rolling out them updates! Can't complain!
5003540
DON'T FREAKING JINX IT ... please
5003453
He is boned
Two chapters a day? I like you, you can has cake...
5003611
Nooooooooooooo, AJ!
Ha... Haha... Ha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
5003611
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, I TAKE IT BACK
just take my gratitude at least
5003878
...
...
... *takes and noms your gratitude* ... Tastes like success
The defecation has just hit the oscillation.
These updates are hilariously awesome! Ugh, I am really ready for the next chapters, keep it up!!
Uh oh. I can only see this ending badly and worser.
Wow, fuck Discord. That's just uncalled for. D: Pay a girl a compliment she enjoys, and ruin the guy's life.
Oh. My. This can't end good.
ahahaha...AhhahaHAHhahAHhahAHA...aHAHahAhhHAHAHhAhahahAHhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh (BLEEP!)
5004405
*slowly realizes he's fed*
*loses sanity*
...fk
5004507 Indeed, my dear boy.
Oh boy ,A fan on overdrive with an idustrial strength motor ,buckets of horse apples at the ready!
What the hell Discord, a bit too much overkill don't you think? Rarity is going to grind him into a paste... R.I.P. Big Mac.
Keeper: I'm starting to tolerate these maniacs
I don't know what Discord is doing (I think that he doesn't most times either; randomness is his life). Anyway, I think that Big Mac is going to be facing a truth-telling overload. He'll probably babble what the curse is trying to get him to say to a dozen ponies at once and mixed together; then he'll faint.
5004721 She's going to take a page from Wasteland and either explode Big Mac like a blood sausage or reduce him to a fine red mist.
So big mac said Fluttershy has da booty? I am inclined to agree
5005508 He likes big butts and he cannot lie.
Jeez, Discord, they almost had the guy. And you didn't even have the decency to take it out on him personally. For shame!
... Still waiting to hear what he said to Dash.
5004663
Well Mac did say he made other people feel better that they aren't him because he's "That Guy"..
But yeah wow that would just hurt to hear and I honestly doubt he would remain friends with him after that.
5005810
Ask and ye shall receive.
See ya Saturday
5005896
I think the best case scenario is that Caramel works on self-improvement, starting with how he treats others (which is apparently awful). He could... potentially remain friends with Mac, under the caveat that Mac apologizes and... the caveat that Caramel work on himself. With Mac's help? Caramel sounds like the perfect storm of pitifully incompetent and subtly a douchebag, so there's a long way to go.
5006153
The thing about that is, is the fact that Big Mac is just telling it as he see's it, not the actual truth behind things.
For all he knows Caramal could indeed be somewhat of an asshole when he see's him, or his perception of him is flawed (as shown by Applejack mentioning his views on politics).
Also how do you even apologize for something like that? That's not something you'd stay friends with because you'd realize that the only reason they were friends with you because you made them feel better about themselves and not anything about you personally. Big Mac right there showed himself a bit to be quite an asshole himself, which he himself recognized by calling himself terrible..Yet still was dickish by saying "You're still my friend" despite the fact that it would be Caramels decision at that point.
5006239
5006153
Hey don't worry. They'll be a happy(-ish) ending for the guy. Just wait and see
5006087
You saw nothing.
5004333
Hey that's his girl that somepony else is complimenting, totally justified to blow him up
5006895
I kinna wanna slap you. D:
5008638
It's an old concept.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ley_line
Imagine if Big Macintosh had told Fluttershy he was in love with her One way ticket to the sun, courtesy of Discord?
5004106
I think that you'll find that you mean rotation, not oscillation.
This will only end in tears...and Rarity tends to like using sharp pointy things...
I did a review of this fic.
It deserved it!
5028266
Aw thanks Thanks for also shouting out my editor; he's a real champ
And if the only real major issue is length, well... (casually points to the 200K word fic sitting in his story box) ... I don't think that's going to be a problem
5028458
reactiongifs.com/r/exc.gif
got of easy. Basically, said to that baby got back.
Oh dear.
Having now read several chapters of this, I thought I'd offer my thoughts and suggestions.
1. I love the idea of Big Mac getting into poison joke and turning talkative and completely flipping Ponyville over on its ass in the process.
2. The execution of this idea? Not so much. I'm sorry, but I really think this could've been done without adding things like the "death castle". The entire premise of Twilight's castle causing that much damage and chaos to Ponyville is...needlessly grim. There are less abusive ways of getting Big Mac into poison joke.
3. You are in severe need of an editor. The way you're wreaking havoc on verb tenses...and that's not counting all the evidence that you don't proofread your work very carefully. The fact that this story stands as strongly as it does despite all the glaring errors is a testament to the strength of the story itself (ordinarily, I'd have stopped reading halfway through the first chapter because of all the verb tense errors), but...you really do need to get an editor to help you repair this story.
This is a very fun story to read, and I'm officially with you until the end here, but...it's far from perfect.