The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

One Second to Spare

Advisory: Please set the "Formatting" to "Dark" before scrolling down. Thank you.

A/N: This chapter may contain spoilers for Season 6 of MLP:FiM.
Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, and Marvel Comics. Additional properties belong to Sega and AnimatedJames.
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The Moment No Pony was Waiting For

Season 5

If there's one type of hero that every superhero universe latches onto, it's the speedster.

They go really, really fast. No, really... like Quicksilver, the speedy Avenger.

And Rainbow Dash, the loyal Wonderbolt.

He's W and I'm B.

And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

---Death Battle---

Rainbow Dash
-Pegasus pony
-Can apparently reach a max of Mach 5 that doubles to Mach 10 (Sonic Rainboom)
-Can create tornadoes, provoke lightning strikes and precipitation
-Headstrong and durable
-Picks up new information via multitasking during flight
-A fan of Daring Do
-Newest addition to the Wonderbolts
-Knows her best friends well enough to pull off impressions of each of them ("Newbie Dash")
-Takes failure pretty harshly
-Struggles at being a follower

Born and raised in Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash was a filly that strove for being as awesome and cool as she could possibly be. Befriending at least two shy children, she felt a sense of standing up for the little guys and flying faster than ever.

She flew so fast that she realized the legend of the Sonic Rainboom, which in turn paved the way for her cutie mark and marks of five other fillies that would eventually join her as the Elements of Harmony.

She can break the sound barrier several times over and even the visible light spectrum at her top speeds.

She isn't just fast in the air. She has also got some pretty strong hooves that she can outmatch an earth pony in hoof wrestling and even keep up with the average ground gallop.

The rest of her body is pretty durable as well, capable of smashing headfirst through trees and solid rock and still be able to stand up afterwards. Plus, Dash can learn best through multitasking during a leisurely flight, constantly scanning the ground and sky for changes and potential flying hazards.

Somehow, this gave her the ability to learn a number of historical facts without even knowing it. Heh heh. Sounds like my kind of learning!

You are not capable of multitasking.

Yuh-huh! Watch me do a flip and kick you in the face at the same time!

There's a couple thumps followed by the sound of something big hitting the floor.

Ow... right on my credit cards...

Anyway, Rainbow can pick up the small details and mannerisms of other ponies so well that she can pull off nearly identical mannerisms and mane-styles of each of her friends. I... don't think hair works like that.

Well, speaking of hair, she's gotten used to electricity as a weather pony and can withstand the shocking damage of lightning bolts and even tornadoes throwing her into the ground. Heck, she can create those herself if she wants to.

Still, Rainbow Dash has internal insecurities and is easily shaken to the nerves if she ever makes a mistake. This is especially true when she's trying too hard to impress one of her idols like the other Wonderbolts and Daring Do.

Even so, with the help and support of friends and a scooter-riding fangirl, Dash can get up and keep on going. She has embodied loyalty down to the second "L".

The second "L"?

I'll tell you when you've gotten a few more years of experience.

... I'm at least a year older than you.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Duh. Because I'm a Wonderbolt!"

---Death Battle---

Quicksilver
-Mutant man
-Can comfortably run 700 mph, and can outrun a radio wave (the speed of light)
-Can create vacuum tornadoes
-Fast healing, fast learning, fast thinking
-In one minute, can memorize and reproduce a piano song that would take years for a normal man to master
-Not really good, but not really bad either
-Fights dirty without hesitation
-His backstory is convoluted (Gypsies, Magneto, and cows... Oh my!)
-Impatient and imprecise

If you live in the same world as that of several different mutant heroes, you'll likely hear whispers about the speedy Avenger known as Quicksilver.

However, it's difficult to pinpoint precisely who he is. His backstory has so many twists and rebounds; it's a wonder how he has managed to maintain his own semblance of sanity. In fact, there are currently two production companies that technically both own the rights to his character.

No worries, W. I've got this. Pietro was born with his twin sister Wanda to a couple of gypsies. But then the twins were captured and experimented on, somehow giving Pietro super speed and Wanda psychic abilities. Then, they were returned to their family, only to later be convinced that they were the long-lost children of Magneto. They were allegedly raised by a cow lady who then handed them off to gypsies.

How in the world...?

We're just getting started. Magneto saved the twins at one point, giving them those cool costumes and Pietro his mutant name: Quicksilver. But then, Magneto got his **s handed to him. So, Quicksilver turned around and joined some of the good guys.

There are some benefits to such a hectic life. Flipping through alliances over the years has given Quicksilver combat training from both sides of the karmic spectrum. This means he is capable of implementing several fighting styles, both honorable and dirty.

He can think fast, heal fast, and of course run really fast.

He can comfortably run up to 700 miles per hour without tiring, and has been stated to even be able to outrun a radio wave. Radio waves are part of the electromagnetic spectrum and travel at the same speed as light. So, Quicksilver can actually run over 670 million miles per hour.

Even though he has quick reflexes and the ability to think faster than any earthly genius, he has a tendency to rush in and ends up getting punched in the face for it. I guess when it looks like everyone around you is a slowpoke, you tend to get impatient and cocky.

Hero or villain, the smart people think twice before crossing this blue-clad speedster.

*Hawkeye misses a couple shots, then gets knocked over by a blur.*

"You didn't see that coming?"

---Death Battle---

Alright, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.

It's time for a Death Battle!

---Death Battle---

Much of the dirt in a grassy field is displaced. Other parts are on fire. An anthropomorphic hedgehog wakes up and walks over. The pegasus opens her eyes and accepts the helping hand to stand up. Though they are racing opponents, they are also good sports. They are also quite terrified at the current physical state of their spectating friends.

"Uh, is Tails' rib cage usually torn apart like that?"

"No. ... Are Twilight's eye sockets usually on fire?"

"No."

...

"Let's never speak of this again."

"Never speak of what again?"

"Exactly."

To escape the wrath of whatever qualifies as law enforcement in this mixed up universe, both rush away from the scene as quickly as possible. However, high-speed surveillance already has eyes on them from a helicopter. A signal beeps to someone else. Before the hedgehog has time to gasp, a slightly lighter shade of blue punches him out of the camera's shot.

"What the-?" The pegasus slows down and looks back.

What she sees is a towering man in a blue and white jumpsuit. His streaked silver hair wriggles slightly in the winds he made. He turns around and looks up at the second target. She furrows her brow at this newcomer. He punches his own fist into his other palm in anticipation.

"FIGHT!"

We get a zoomed-out shot of the field as a whitish-blue streak quickly approaches a multicolored zip line. Colors fly as impacts flash all around the place. At one of the impacts, the camera slows down just to keep up with the fast punches and kicks from both combatants. Quicksilver throws in a couple cheap shots against the pony's gut. Rainbow manages to somersault and kick him away.

Rainbow flies around and gathers some of the nearby clouds. She kicks against them one after the other to shoot lightning down to the ground. Quicksilver chuckles as he run along. The lightning bolts hit the trail where he is, yet they keep missing him, as they don't hit where he is going.

The mutant runs up a hill so fast that he enters the atmosphere just above cirrus cloud levels. He holds his fists together and quickly slams down. Rainbow yelps as he hits her. She bounces along the ground a few times and slides, uprooting some topsoil. Groaning, she stands up and shakes herself.

Giving her wings a good, hard flap, she soars straight up. Still falling, Quicksilver looks up, wondering what she's doing. She then leans straight down, gathering a white mach cone around her. As she descends faster and faster, the cone gains a more prismatic color. The image pauses right as Rainbow passes down next to the man.

*BOOM!*

The Sonic Rainboom pushes against Quicksilver, sending him far off screen. A split second before Rainbow looks like she's going to hit the ground, she takes a right angle turn, flying parallel to the ground instead. She laughs and hollers at her triumph.

"Something funny?"

Rainbow's eyes open wide as she looks beside her. A mixed-blue streak rushes around. When she finally follows the source, she sees Quicksilver ahead of her... running backwards!

"Okay, first: What? Second: ... the feather?!"

"You're faster than most horses. I'll give you that much." Quicksilver crosses his arms while still moving his legs. "But you're still too slow to keep up with me."

"Oh yeah? Well take this!"

Rainbow uses her momentum to spin around in several circles. The resulting air currents turn into her Rainblow Dry. She shoves the rainbow tornado at her opponent.

"Pfft. That's not a tornado." He runs wide around the attack and runs multiple circles around Rainbow. "This is a tornado!"

The nearly fully blue tornado grows to a large size, pulling blades of grass and dirt into the mix. Rainbow tries to yell, but is surprised to hear absolutely nothing. Quicksilver hops above, diving into a kick before hopping away from his storm. The pegasus slams into the ground, creating a small crater in the earth.

She holds her front hooves against her throat. She tries really hard to inhale something... anything. Her wings flap furiously, but she doesn't even get an inch off the ground. Her eyes slide up, unable to see beyond the lids. She silently collapses onto the ground. Without oxygen, something pops inside of her skull.

Eventually, the tornado's winds calm down. Quicksilver looks at his handiwork and chuckles. His job is done.

"K.O.!"

---Death Battle---

Well, whoever was writing that B x Dash fic, you should know that I don't like beating a dead horse.

Unfortunately for Dash, she couldn't quite keep up. While breaking the visible light spectrum is an amazing feat, her ultimate speed technique only brings her to about 7,606 miles per hour. That's far less than Quicksilver's maximum of over 670 million mph.

And even though Pietro can be just as rash as the pony, probably even more than her, he would still have a far easier time coming up with a strategy in less than a second than she can.

Rainbow may have a black belt in karate, but she rarely makes use of it in one-on-one combat.

Besides, one black belt doesn't really stack up to being trained by super-beings from both the good and the evil.

Finally, there is the respective power of their weather-related abilities. While Rainbow's skills have more versatility, Quicksilver's vacuum tornado puts everything to shame. Not only would Rainbow be unable to breathe, but her wings would have nothing they could push against to get her out of the airless eye of the tornado.

In the end, Dash was left breathless.

The winner is Quicksilver.

---Death Battle---

Sonic finds his wind and races onto the scene. "Dash? No!"

The anthro hedgehog's blue quills suddenly turn much darker. It reflects the hatred currently blinding him from anything else. He rushes so fast toward the battle's winner that he almost turns invisible. Before Quicksilver can say, "What?" Dark Sonic spins like a buzz saw through the man's spine and neck. The hedgehog follows up with a double uppercut, followed by one last powerful upward punch to the chin.

Quicksilver's head is dislodged from his already weakened vertebrae.

...

Sonic chuckles rather darkly, before it devolves into laughter to fight the pain. He regains his natural blue color as he presses his gloved fists against his face. He walks over, picks up Dash's limp body, and carries her out of the picture.
---

Author's Note:

...
Would you excuse me for a moment? Thanks.

Comments

[xavex]

Poor Dash...it's a good thing chaos emeralds can revive recent deaths unless they'll accept it.

[Saiyan of the North Star]

KO awesome chapter, Dash has been out speed by Quicksilver and will think twice of fighting someone more faster than her. Please let there be a Princess Celestia vs Jonathan Joestar.

[Dirty Bit]

At first, I was gonna consider this catharsis due to Quicksilver's horrible loss towards the Flash (Speed force, bitch!), but then you do the reference to AnimatedJames' Sonic vs. Rainbow Dash animation and follow up with what happened in the end.

Not bad.

7565159 Either Jonathan or Joseph. Either's good. And the latter defeated the Ultimate Being

[ShadowLDrago]

Thing is, this would have been a curbstomp no matter what, comic Quicksilver is so much faster than Dash it isn't even funny, and most animated versions of Quicksilver or the one from the MCU just aren't fast ENOUGH.

[leslie2000]

7350044 Hermione (from harry potter) vs Moon Dancer because they studying magic and became good at it