Life can be boring and repetitive at times, but one way or another the universe usually finds ways to spice things up. Then there are those who do so themselves in order to further a goal. There are also those who simply are the recipients of one of many random events. Finally, there are those who are willing to change, but just do not initiate it. These are the ones that are most vulnerable to outside forces who decide to shake things up a bit.
A normal stallion living a normal life has caught the universe's eye as in need of a little something more. Rather than just send him signs to find a mare, a different approach is decided. A certain tiny approach, one who will change the life of this stallion just as he will shape its.
Of course, just because some initiated change doesn't mean that chance will give up on plans it already had for that stallion. Looks like life is about to get a whole lot more interesting.
Cover Art by Amodwithoutamark
*waits for more*
4947849 And more ye shall have.
Well, let's see where this goes
The tense kinda threw me off, as it is one of the very first fics I read that was written in the present.
That cover art is adorable.
4948067 She really did do quite the good job.
you have my attention good fellow
How much this relate to yours other stories?
4948507
Hmm... Unrelated to my other stories unless you count a few recurring characters who will be familiar and have the same basic personalities. However, certain things will be different in the hopes of making a different story. Also the exact setting is different from my other stories.
I can already tell this is going to be good.
4948747
Speaking of your other stories, will you be continuing those as well or is this your way of taking a break from the other stuff.
...if you don't mind my asking, of course.
4950530 Trust me when I say I am desperately trying to continue those, but the fact those are collabs makes it difficult at times when I have school and work and my co-writer does as well. Supposedly they'll be less busy in time, but for now I do pretty much bring it up every chance I can.
This is a solo story though so there will be less delays.
4950560 Gonna keep an eye on this one...
Like
Ooh, I am excited to see more of this!!
Very good, I'll. be waiting for more
Dream Jewel meh could have came up with better name.
The cuteness is strong with this one.
4954377 I think "Dream Jewel" is cute. She'll just have to grow into it.
Extraordinarily cute. That is an adorable little changeling.
Although Rhino's reaction was rather... muted. He came off as only mildly surprised, although clueless, and didn't seem to be actually disturbed or worried by the sudden appearance of a baby in his bed, or the fact that someone was in his room talking to him in his sleep. I guess there might be a bit of delayed reaction going on, but it doesn't seem to fit a pony that is regularly startled by customers (or was it just Mr. Davenport?) stopping by his shop even after 6 months in Ponyville.
I like this story. Favorited.
4956871 His reaction was muted both from the dreams that were used to put him in the right mood the night before, in addition to a large amount of general befuddlement to where he sort of went on auto pilot for a time. When his mind finally caught up, the shock had passed and bonding had begun. Think like... if you woke up with a random cute puppy licking your face, the freakout isn't immediate, or at least it isn't to some, they just enjoy it for the moment and question it after.
The Davenport thing was him getting lost in his thoughts and essentially getting a jump scare, though he does have a tendency to panic whenever he feels he has a time limit or a very tough decision that he doesn't have an obvious good answer to that he is comfortable with.
Changeling foal is best foal.
i nearly died of a heart attack reading this chapter. that means you have done well to capture the cuteness
4967287 This is only the beginning. Prepare your hearts.
4967480 but im not a time lord i don't have two hearts
4967844 Then go get some genetic splicing with a manticore so you can have three.
4967892 i have a respwan systum im good
4967892 also can't spell for crap
Why is it so difficult to get new story notifications from this site?! Oh well, we're here, late again, but here nonetheless.
And the stork -I mean- changeling queen delivered the most beautiful present of all.... ;p
All hail Queen DJ! What? Too early? :D
He should totally parade her through town asking all the mares (in the most awkward way possible) how to raise a foal, then wonder why their hints are not all that useful when applied to nymphs.....
Oh, I think you meant" a part" instead of "apart" up there, ruins the meaning the way it is now.
Keep going! ;)
This is so adorable. Well done.
Hmm. Written in present tense, eh? That's not very common
Interesting premise, but the deliberate vagueness between Luna and Cara is a bit overdone, when the final revelation is hardly surprising at all.
Remarks and corrections:
> No matter which end of the spectrum one finds themselves on
Should be either "one finds oneself on", or you need to replace "one" with "people" or something. But "one" is clearly singular, so it can't be used with "themselves", which is so clearly plural.
> "That we did, my apologies."
Should be two separate sentences.
> the alicorn lays down on her cushion
Should be "the alicorn [lies] down". "To lay" is always followed by something that's being laid down.
> “To an extent, he dreams of the result, not the cause.”
I'm fairly sure the comma behind "To an extent" should be a period, and the rest should be a separate sentence. As it is, the meaning is quite different, since the sentence says that "he dreams of the result to an extent".
5096745 Thank you for all that. I always appreciate these in-depth comments for improvement.
...what? It's a Breezie Changeling!
Question... how does a pony pinch oneself without opposing thumbs?
Hehe. She's a bundle of d'awws, all right.
Heh. Rhino is a clever fellow.
But... aren't they emotivores?
I don't really think milk for baby cows and milk for baby ponies would be THAT different; both are grazing herbivores. And since he probably won't find milk specifically for baby changelings anyway, I doubt it'd make any difference whatsoever.
Huh. Changelings are mammals, then, hm?
Well, all right. For the purpose of this story... headcanon accepted!
D'awwwwww some more
Remarks and corrections:
> For one, this changeling seems to actually possess a mane, though slightly transparent, it still provides a blue curtain for its head.
Another comma splice. You should start a new sentence after "possess a mane".
> the miniature changeling opens it’s pure sapphire-colored eyes
Tsk. "it's" = "it is". When in doubt, expand it. So yeah, "opens [its] pure sapphire-colored eyes"
> This is a changeling foal, more than that, this appears to be a changeling newborn.
Again, comma splice. "This is a changeling foal" should be one sentence, and the rest should be another. Don't comma-connect two sentences which are complete on their own.
> He doesn't have milk for babies,just regular cow milk
missing space behind that comma.
> “I am definitely not prepared to take care of you… am I really even considering it?”
The "am I really even considering it?" is a separate sentence, so give it a capital letter.
5096779
Small note: people don't get reply notifications if your response is in a different chapter than the original comment you're replying on. So unless the comment is on the last chapter (all comments made on the main page end up in the last published chapter), it's best to open the actual chapter the comment was made in and reply to it there. Otherwise they'll never find out you responded to it. It's a bug in fimfic.
I specifically checked the full comments after I finished chapter 2 because I had a suspicion you'd reply to it this way
Note that this doesn't really count in reverse; if people respond to your comments here you'll always get notifications, even if the chapter is wrong... but that's simply because you get notifications for all comments made on your own fic
5096878 Using this to reply to both comments: thank you for the information on how the reply notifications work, I didn't know they had to be in the same chapter.
I think you might actually be one of the first 'breakdown commenters' I've had, I love when people say the specific parts they like.
To answer some of your comments: Yes, I do have a rather large number of changeling headcanons, something very easy to do for me since they've only been seen once and thus have a lot to speculate on. A non-spoiler one is that I consider them to be able to eat, but they need love to survive. The exception being when they are young where they need a combination. The emotivore thing is actually present, but proximity and ambient feelings from him directed at her serve to satisfy that currently.
To the errors, I thank you for pointing them out once more. I admit the its vs it's thing is something I try to keep an eye out for but does slip past when I get on a roll. The comma splice however is something of a persistent problem for me because my mental interpretation of their lines sometimes gets blurry on a slight aural pause due whether due to commas or periods.
I hope to use this in the chapters I'm currently writing, spent quite a lot of time doing more planning for the story after I got the first few chapters out and things should go smoothly because of it.
5096966
)
Well, I write stories too, so I know what kind of comments I'd like to get
(Sadly, detailed comments are quite rare
Anyway. I wish you good luck in your writings, and I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this fic
As for the remarks and corrections... they're a free service. We're not perfect, but the fics should be!
Alrighty then, I am definately going to follow this story a bit more.
It has certainly caught my interest.
I cant critique the story in the normal sense I usually do when I read something new, because A. It is written clearly differently. And B. Its your headcanon, so all my petty annoyances are mainly just because I would imagine changelings and such differently.
Keep on Writing, I really want to see where this is going. Even if I feel things have gone a bit, Fast at the start.
5106037 sudden uproot was sort of the intent as it reflects the situation, but I also chose to jump in at this point because, to be completely honest, the stallion's like was fairly boring at this stage and I am trying to avoid dumping world building stuff all at once.
5106064
Well I get the concept of sudden uproot, I just felt that a tiny bit more of worldbuilding would have been appreciated. At least when it concerns to Rhino. I know he was supposed to be unremarkable, but still.
Again, its just a personal gribe.
5106216 Well, hopefully that is alleviated with future chapters.
5106246
I am certain they will
I am eagerly looking forwards to the next chapter. I always love stories with these kind of cute elements, and Changelings I also have a great facination with.
Though thats also the sad part, because everyone and their Dog has headcanons, and no one can be completely content with all of them
5106254 Yes... though personally I enjoy seeing the different headcanons of changelings then comparing them to my own, maybe accounting for things I had not thought of before.
5106259
Yea that is quite interesting.
YAY babies!
Ok, This story is really adorable, but part of me really wants to see more of Rhino´s personal life. And I know that kind of is what you are doing at the moment, but I feel more what you are doing is focussing on the premise which is cool.
But I just wondered maybe if Rhino had any friends come by.
I mean, that could create some fun tension! Him trying to hide Dream while desperately trying to keep up appearances? I am sure you could make it fun!
5151144 Oh, that's coming, but this was all only in the first day for him. Though he isn't exactly the most social of ponies... you'll see.
5151172
Awesome!
I´ll be looking forwards to it!
I know it is silly, but all I could think of through the entire "Oh what would happen if ponies see her?" Bit, was basically the immage of A Friend instantly barging in the door goign "HI RHINO!
"
Oh well, To sum up, Awesome chapter!
......
(Looks around to see no one or pony)
Squee!
No one, saw anything.
5151105 Yes babies.
5151325
but shes so adorable!