Fragmentation (Revised)
As Diamond's group made their way to the cafeteria, the lone filly who had spotted them travelled her own lonely path, her head hung low and ears splayed back as if too weak to stand upright. Magenta locks, messier even than usual, spilled down over the filly's orange forehead, some stray hairs trailing down to meet the tear-darkened fur around her eyes. Her wings, drooping at her sides, lacked the feverish energy they usually contained, leaving them sad and broken-looking where they hung. Her face was an emotionless mask, but the unconscious chewing of her lower lip betrayed a deeper unrest, as did the empty, troubled look in her eyes.
Trotting along a lifeless corridor, she frowned deeply, muttering inaudibly under her breath as her body moved on automatic. Her eyes were unfocused, brimming with fury, and it was a wonder she didn't run into anything on her angry march through the school. Classrooms, lockers, bathrooms: she passed by them all without so much as a glance. Eyes unfocused, she stalked along, her head drooped towards the dull carpet, left unsupported in her apathy. Deep inside the workings of her mind, her internal compass was keeping her from wandering off course, but the filly herself didn't care where she was, leaving it to her subconscious to guide her round the school.
This angry haze continued to fog her mind as she approached the upcoming T-junction, however a nearby pair of familiar voices shocked her out of her stupor. Her face automatically twitched into the beginnings of a smile before her mind caught up and sent it twisting into a glowering visage, eyes staring death at a pair of tails - one red, one striped lilac and pink - which flicked around the corner before disappearing from sight. Making a concerted effort not to stomp angrily, she followed after them, pausing at the corridor's end and waiting a few moments, both to lower the risk of being noticed and to calm down a little.
She peered around the corner cautiously and, seeing that her quarry were not yet aware of her presence, stalked forwards with a scowl. They were still close enough that she could hear what they were saying - it seemed Sweetie Belle was doing most of the talking this time, despite the gauze-covered wound on her muzzle, but Apple Bloom was clearly offering her support. Scootaloo scowled violently, her diminutive wings flaring in impotent rage, and it was all she could do not to swear at her ex-friends' retreating forms.
"Calm down?! That featherbrained psycho bit me!" Sweetie was saying, and Scootaloo actually stopped breathing in her fury. "She bit me!"
Scootaloo's eye twitched, and her thoughts turned to acid. Oh, so she was going to play the victim card here? The nerve! After everything that two-faced liar had said, she was going to act like none of it was her fault?! Scootaloo couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I know," Apple Bloom placated, reaching a hoof out to the unicorn's shoulder which she shrugged off ill-temperedly. "I know, Sweetie."
And right there, Scootaloo spat mentally, was the other half of the idiot pair, showing her true colours. Yesterday, Scootaloo had been stupid enough to believe her when she said that she'd always be there for her, but Apple Bloom had made it more than obvious where her loyalties lied when she'd backed Little Miss Perfect up instead of her. Clearly, honesty didn't run in her family after all.
Ahead, Sweetie Belle was still ranting, gesticulating angrily with her hoof whilst stomping along on three legs.
"You know what, though? In the end, she only proved me right: see what kind of influence Rainbow Dash has had on her!" She gestured angrily at her injured muzzle. "She bit me, just because I had the nerve to tell her just what sort of pony her stupid hothead hero really is. So much for 'oh, no, Rainbow Dash is perfect, how could acting like her ever make me a bad friend?'" She paused her whiny-voiced imitation of Scootaloo to spit in disgust. "'Good friends' don't bite each other."
Red descending over Scootaloo's vision, the pegasus felt a sudden and compelling urge to take Sweetie Belle's oh-so-perfect face and smash it against something hard. The wall would do, but then again... Scootaloo's eyes fell upon a full trolley of sports gear left outside the nearby changing rooms. Rows of glossy wooden baseball bats, barely used, waited there for her.
Unaware of her presence, the hunted duo continued their conversation, although the farm filly was visibly unenthused by the topic, concern sparkling in her emerald eyes as she turned to her furious friend.
"I know, Sweetie," said Apple Bloom again, "I know... Say, you're gettin' real stressed about this - maybe we should talk about somethin' else?"
Scootaloo, meanwhile, had reached the equipment trolley, and was running her hooves over the waiting bats, breathing heavily though her nose in angry little snorts. Barely noticed by Scootaloo through her cloud of red mist, Sweetie Belle snarled, glaring indignantly at Apple Bloom with a ferocity which sent her stumbling away in fear, the unicorn evidently unable to let the topic go.
"You want to talk about something else? After what she did to me? Whose side are you on?!"
Apple Bloom fell back onto her haunches, leaning away from Sweetie and gesturing reassuringly with her forelegs in an attempt to placate her friend, and carefully spoke her mind, well aware of the unicorn's bad mood.
"I ain't takin' nopony's side, Sweetie. I'm just a little tired of talking about what happened this mornin', is all."
Scootaloo paid the farm filly's words no heed, hefting her chosen bat in her hooves and getting a feel for its swing just as Sweetie Belle shot a retort back at Apple Bloom. Glancing from the rapidly disappearing fillies to the tub of baseballs on the equipment trolley and back again, she bounced one up and down in her left hoof, her grip on the bat tightening furiously with each word leaving Sweetie's pretty little mouth.
"Yeah, well guess what? I've been tired of Scootaloo acting like she's some kind of hero just because Rainbow Crash said they were sisters once, and nopony took notice of me until the stupid cloud-brained moron went and bit me, so I think I'm entitled to talk about what I want for a change."
"Well, isn't this just rich," spat Scootaloo, "the filly who never shuts her perfect little mouth thinks she's entitled to talk crap even more than usual? Give it a break, Sweetie, before you actually manage to talk somepony to death."
Both fillies ahead of her flinched at her harsh words, turning in shock to face her. Apple Bloom's eyes had an edge of fear in them, but Sweetie's held only rage and hurt.
"Hey, come on girls, let's not start another argu-" began Apple Bloom, vainly hoping to get through to her two friends.
No such luck.
"I don't know, Scootaloser," came Sweetie's retort, "I can think of one filly who'd do everypony a favour if she just upped and died!"
Rather than flinch back from the insult, Scootaloo grinned nastily.
"Oh, I know exactly who you mean. That fat, horned marshmallow who pays the Fire Department's wages just by making lunch - what was her name again? Sweetie Belle? Oh, wait, that's you! My bad."
Apple Bloom, now tearing up, tried again to break up the fight. She stepped forwards, getting between the duo, and pleaded desperately with her fighting friends.
"Sweetie! Scootaloo! Stop! Just stop it, please!"
As before, the two warring fillies ignored her, and Sweetie Belle shoved her aside to get closer to Scootaloo, her horn itching to loose a bolt of probably-incendiary magic at her ex-friend.
"Well, maybe I can't cook, but at least I can use my magic, like a proper unicorn - not like you. Diamond Tiara was right... you're not a real pegasus; you're just a stupid flightless chicken!"
"You want to say that again, huh, Sweetie?" Scootaloo snarled, stalking forwards menacingly. "Just you go ahead and say that again, and we'll see just how pretty you look with your teeth smashed out."
Sweetie ignored the threat and advanced as well, lighting her horn threateningly and giving her ex-friend a defiant look.
"You heard me," she sneered. "But, you know what, fine, I'll spell it out for you so your little bird brain can keep up. You. Are. A. Stupid. Selfish. Flightless. Chicken!"
She leaned further towards Scootaloo with each emphatic insult, until their snouts were nearly touching. With Scootaloo frozen up in rage, Sweetie took the opportunity to mock her further. In the corner, Apple Bloom held her head in her hooves and tried to pretend that this wasn't happening.
"Chicken!" taunted Sweetie Belle. "Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chi-"
"I'M GOING TO BUCKING KILL YOU!" Scootaloo screamed, launching herself forwards at the unicorn, who backpedalled away and turned to run.
The berserk pegasus didn't chase her, leaning back onto her hindlegs and bringing the bat down with the full force of both hooves. She grinned madly as the speeding object descended viciously towards the too-slow unicorn, but at the last moment felt the air burst from her hooves as something hit her from the side and sent her sprawling.
Sitting up, Scootaloo glared after the retreating forms of Sweetie Belle and, closer, Apple Bloom. As she snatched her bat up from where it had fallen, and one of the balls from the nearby equipment trolley, she saw that, in a flash of light on both of Apple Bloom's flanks, an image was appearing: Apple Bloom's cutie mark.
Fury and anguish coursed through Scootaloo's veins - not only had her friend gotten her mark before her, she'd earned it by betraying her. Growling bestially, she leaned back on her hindlegs and tossed the ball into the air, before snapping the bat through the air towards it, bat and ball connecting with a sound like Rainbow Dash performing the Sonic Rainboom.
The ball hurtled through the air, missing Apple Bloom by centimetres and shattering the glass in the door as it closed behind the fleeing filly. Scootaloo stared after it for a moment, ignoring the shouts from behind her, and sank, panting, to her haunches. As the adrenaline fled her body, she slumped into a sobbing pile of fur, mane and feathers. The forgotten bat rolled from her hooves across the floor, neither it nor its mirror image on the filly's flanks prising her attention away from her grief.
Scootaloo just lay there alone and wept.
It was all she could do.
*
Elsewhere in the school, things were, for the moment, going far better for another group of friends. Diamond's plan to repair Twist's relationship with her new friends seemed to have worked: Dinky was happily chatting away to her bespectacled ex-foe, and what few comments Auburn - as taciturn as usual - had made had all been positive. Diamond herself, having already made up with Twist, was content to leave the new friends to it; her mind found its way instead to the unusually-troubled Scootaloo, and what she could do to find out what had happened.
Maybe if she spent enough time around the filly, she'd feel comfortable enough to open up on her own? Possibly, but some ponies could be reluctant to open up without more of a push. Was Scootaloo one of those ponies? Well, she did idolise Rainbow Dash, a mare who quite often vocally dismissed emotions as 'mushy stuff' and 'uncool', so it was certainly a possibility that that mindset had rubbed off on her. In that case, simply trying to get Scootaloo more comfortable around her might never work, no matter how close they got on a personal level.
A more direct approach might work better, then. Maybe if Diamond pushed her enough, she'd come out with whatever had gone wrong in her little friendship group? Then again, that might simply drive her away, and she and Diamond weren't on the best of terms anyway, so being too direct would be counterproductive. What to do, then?
Perhaps a best-of-both-worlds method? Putting pressure on Scootaloo but not hounding her for information? That could work... but wasn't that what she'd already been doing? Granted, it had gotten some results, but would it keep on working out like that? Diamond groaned in frustration - why was this so hard?
A hoof waved in front of her eyes snapped her out of her train of thought; blinking rapidly, Diamond turned her head, following the foreleg suspending the dun hoof before her face up to the pony who it belonged to - Auburn. The pegasus was looking at her with an expression that was part irritation, part amusement and rolling her eyes, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"Huh?" said Diamond, eloquently. Auburn giggled briefly, the smirk on her face becoming a full grin.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Diamond." The grin dipped slightly, a flash of irritation glinting in her eyes. "You know I've been trying to talk to you for the last five minutes, right?"
Diamond cringed. "Sorry, Auburn. I was lost inside my head again; I didn't mean to ignore you, honestly!"
The smile returned to Auburn's face, albeit a little strained. "'Course you didn't... So, as I was trying to say earlier; what's up with you and my sister?"
"Huh?" replied Diamond again, unchallenged mistress of communication that she was.
Auburn grinned smugly, amusement sparkling in her eyes. "You and Copperwing... Spill it!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Diamond, evenly. Auburn was having none of it, and snorted dismissively.
"Oh, come on, Diamond! You can't pull the wool over these eyes. That painting you did of Copper must have taken a lot of work, right? Most ponies wouldn't spend nearly that long painting just a friend, and I have to say, it was veeeeery detailed... I rather think you've been enjoying the view, if you catch my drift?"
The pegasus moved her eyebrows suggestively, looking smugger by the second as Diamond's mind made the connection and she blushed.
"What?! No! Why would I even?!" Diamond spluttered, crimson making its inexorable way across her face. "I-I wasn't staring! Why would I stare at her?!"
Auburn crossed her hooves, taking on a mock-authoritative posture, complete with an overly-serious voice.
"Why, indeed, Diamond? Why have you been staring at her?"
"I haven't!" Diamond's face was a crimson picture of exasperation and embarrassment by now, a sight which only served to widen Auburn's smug grin.
"Come now, you aren't convincing anypony. If you haven't been staring, then how could you do her seductive little eyes so well? How were you able to get the curve of her pretty face just right, huh? Ooor paint that perfect round flank of hers so spot on?"
The crimson huddle which used to be Diamond Tiara let out a squeak of embarrassment, then a muffled noise which sounded almost like "I haven't," were the phrase to be uttered by a mouse having a panic attack. Auburn, seeing her work was done, relented. After a minute or so, her friend emerged from her cocoon of embarrassment, and the pegasus laid a hoof on her shoulder, her expression serious.
"Relax, I don't really think you have the hots for Copperwing, Diamond; I was just messing with you, but I'll stop now. I know you and Copper are just friends."
Diamond nodded dumbly, her face still slightly flushed, and managed to sputter out an answer. "Yeah. Friends. Sure."
She turned away from Auburn and stared off into the middle distance, shaking her head as if to clear it and running a hoof up and down her foreleg unconsciously. After a moment or two, a renewed blush spread across her cheeks, and she tucked her head down to her chest, ears splaying back.
Auburn frowned. "Hey, Diamond... Are you okay?"
No response came from the earth pony, not so much as a flick of an ear, and Auburn's frown deepened.
"Diamond? I didn't take it too far, did I?"
The only change on Diamond's face was the unconscious chewing of her lip and the appearance of a frown of her own. She mumbled something under her breath, but Auburn couldn't make out what, and as the blush faded from Diamond's cheeks, her face took on the same faraway expression it'd had earlier.
"Wonderful," grumbled Auburn, sarcastically. "So that's how it's going to be... oh, but of course you don't mean to ignore me, do you?"
Turning away from Diamond with an expression of undisguised irritation, her scowl only deepened at the sight of Dinky and Twist's happy conversation.
"Hey, Dinky, Twist," she called, hoping, despite her envy, to join them. "What're you talking about?"
Dinky said something and Twist laughed; neither one of them seemed to notice Auburn at all. Frowning more deeply, she tried again.
"Hey!" That got their attention; both fillies whirled around to face her, and Auburn grasped her chance to contribute.
"What?" asked Dinky, looking a little peeved.
Auburn's frown deepened - why was she annoyed? It wasn't Auburn's fault she'd had to raise her voice.
"I was just wondering what you were talking about. Miss Talkative over there-" she gestured to Diamond "-is off in la-la land."
Dinky blinked, still not wearing her usual smile as she rubbed her ear and frowned. "Oh. Well, you didn't have to shout."
Auburn bit back a retort, letting out an exasperated sigh when moments passed without an answer from Dinky and she had to repeat her question. "...So, what were you talking about?"
"Well," answered Twist, "We were jutht talking about thith game Dinky playth... Legendth of the Three Kingdomth, I think it'th called? It thoundth really interethting."
Trying not to let the filly's gratingly pronounced lisp annoy her, Auburn smiled and replied - here was her way in!
"Oh, I play that! I was the one who introduced Dinky to it, actually; I've been playing for years. If you want, I could give you some tips?"
Twist shook her head and Auburn's smile fell. "No thankth, Autumn, I like to learn what to do and not to do by mythelf."
"It's Auburn, not Autumn," the pegasus corrected, not quite managing to clear the terseness from her tone. "Well, how about the lore? I know everything off by heart."
Again, a shake of the head; Auburn's not-quite-a-smile grew even more forced as Twist spoke. "Dinky thaid that it wath worth reading for yourthelth-" Auburn turned a brief glare towards an oblivious Dinky, "-tho that'th what I'm gonna do."
"Uh... well," began Auburn, not even trying to smile this time, "How about you come over some time and we can all play a game? You'll have ample opportunity to read the lore, and I'll make sure nopony stops you learning by yourself."
Twist shook her head for a third time, looking apologetic; that Auburn's face didn't drop defeatedly into the tabletop was a feat of willpower even for her.
"Well, I don't really know if I actually want to play it jutht yet. I mean, it thoundth awful interethting and all, but I jutht don't know if it'th my thing. Thorry!"
"Of course it's not," growled Auburn, who waited until Twist had turned away before quietly imitating her in a whiny, nasal voice with a caricaturistically pronounced lisp. Unfortunately for her, Dinky overheard her and sent a furious glower her way, her expression making it abundantly clear to Auburn that she wasn't going to be in the mood to talk anytime soon. Auburn cursed, earning her another glare from Dinky, before angrily setting her jaw and glaring into space in bitter imitation of the deeply-thinking Diamond beside her.
Minutes passed without anypony sparking conversation with her, and a glance at her food reminded her that she'd already finished in-between attempts at getting Diamond's attention. Whining frustratedly, a bitter thought struck her: she could probably leave now and none of them would notice. As time passed on, and nopony so much as glanced her way, the thought grew more and more unavoidable with each moment of silent anger. Finally, after ten minutes of silent simmering, she acted upon it: extricating herself from the bench, she stepped down onto all four hooves and trotted slowly to the exit, every so often stealing glances back to see if anypony noticed.
Nopony did.
Letting out a bitter huff, she turned away from her friends and stalked off angrily, unknowingly becoming the second pegasus that day to do so. Grumbling under her breath as jealous thoughts of Diamond with Copperwing and Dinky with Twist spiralled tauntingly around her head, mixing a fear of loss into her growing feelings of irritation and loneliness. Arriving at her classroom half an hour earlier and seeing, without surprise, that nopony was in the room, she tried the door and found that it was unlocked. Trotting sullenly inside, she took her seat and let her head drop onto the desk.
*
Back in the cafeteria, Diamond shook free of her ruminations, turning to an empty seat with words meant for her friend. Blinking in surprise, she turned back to her still-present friends with a questioning look.
"Dinky, Twist? Where'd Auburn go?"
The duo seemed not to hear her, happily talking among themselves, and with a rueful smile and a shake of her head, she raised a hoof to tap Dinky on the shoulder. After the third tap, the unicorn took notice, turning to Diamond expectantly.
"Huh? What'd you want, Di?" She asked, before noticing the empty seat beside the earth pony. "Hey, where did Auburn go?"
Diamond chuckled, shaking her head. "That's exactly what I was hoping you could tell me. Ah, well, I guess she's probably gone to the toilet or something. Never mind, then; I'll let you get back to Twist."
The unicorn turned away, and Diamond once more fell into thought, frowning confusedly when her friend did not return even after ten minutes. It wasn't like Auburn to just disappear. Frowning in concentration, she shut off from the surrounding world and turned her thoughts to her pegasus friend, hoping to find a reasonable explanation.
*
The end of the day came without further sign of Auburn Wake for Diamond, Dinky and Twist. The pegasus's lessons after lunch did not match up with either of the trio, and none of them spotted her in the corridors. Dinky, sure in her optimistic way that Auburn would be fine, and Twist, who didn't know her well enough to know any different, were mostly unconcerned by this - it wasn't like they'd never had days without seeing her in the corridors before, and in any case, Dinky was pretty confident that they'd find the filly waiting by the front entrance as usual. Twist, trusting her new friend's word, agreed, and Diamond, whilst more concerned by Auburn's disappearance, couldn't fault her reasoning.
As the trio made their way out of their classrooms and met up on their individual ways to the front of the school, Diamond ran the evidence around her head, trying to rationalise the vanishing of the pegasus. The first possibility was that she had, as Diamond first assumed, needed to use the bathroom and had simply taken longer than usual. It was not exactly normal for a pony to take half an hour in there, but it did happen: after all, it's not like ponies had complete control over their bodies, or, for that matter, whether or not they got ill. That led on to another theory: had Auburn fallen ill or gotten injured, and simply been sent home? Her father should be back in town, so that was an option, although if true then it made for a saddening continuation of her family's recent trend towards ill health.
Tuning out Twist and Dinky's continued conversation, she wracked her brain for more ideas. Perhaps she'd had work to do, and left to do it? It was odd that she wouldn't give any indication of her leaving, but then again... Diamond focused her attention on Twist and Dinky, or rather how their attention was focused almost entirely on each other. They'd been like this at lunch, and for that matter, she'd been as deep in thought then as she was now, albeit for different reasons. If she could tune out a conversation as lively as Twist and Dinky's, then it was no big stretch to think that she might not have heard Auburn, or even, considering the world-oblivious duo chatting beside her, that none of them had.
And that, itself, brought up a more unsettling idea. Auburn had seemed noticeably peeved that Diamond hadn't heard her, and though she appeared to shrug it off after a moment, she had never been one for expressing her emotions unless it was really important. Had she been hiding how annoyed she was? And just how long had Diamond been oblivious to her attempts at conversation? She must have been thinking about Scootaloo for a good five minutes at least, and if Auburn had been trying to get her attention for even half that time... Just how annoyed had she been, beneath it all? She had looked happy enough whilst tormenting Diamond about her definitely-not-staring at Copper, but that didn't mean to say the emotions had simply vanished. Diamond started, a cold realisation washing over her. Auburn had teased her to the point of putting a very un-platonic image of Copperwing in her head, and she'd completely dropped out of the conversation, right back into her mind. And she hadn't come out for a whole twenty minutes. She'd ignored Auburn for twenty minutes! And if she'd already been annoyed about Diamond ignoring her, then maybe her disappearance was no accident, but rather Diamond's fault.
Maybe Auburn hadn't had anywhere to be after all.
Maybe that was precisely why she had left.
Diamond chewed her lip, guiltily running the memory through her head. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid,' she berated mentally, growing all the more guilty with each pained rerun. The background noise of Twist and Dinky's conversation had vanished, but the observation failed to cut through the veil of self-reproach which had fallen over her mind like a sensory blindfold, dark and depriving. 'I'm better than this,' she thought angrily, 'How could I just ignore her? Stupid, stupid, stu-'
Her mental tirade was cut short suddenly by an equally sudden impact to her face and Diamond staggered back, landing heavily on her haunches and blinking rapidly in shock. A set of four familiar mulberry legs, presumably belonging to the pony she'd run into, filled her wide eyes, and looking up revealed the surprised face of Cheerilee, her green eyes sparkling with concern as she stretched a hoof out towards the downed filly. Behind her, Scootaloo stepped out of Cheerilee's office, slipping unnoticed into the crowd amidst Diamond's moment of stunned confusion.
"Ouch," said Diamond, accepting the offered hoof and standing back up with her teacher's help. "Sorry, Miss Cheerilee, I was... My mind was somewhere else. It's been a bit of a weird day."
Cheerilee chuckled. "I can't argue with that, Diamond. And please call me Cheerilee - school's over, and I'd like to think we're friends."
Diamond blinked. Friends? A smile made its way onto her face, her worries about Auburn slipping away for the moment in the face of this happy revelation.
"Okay, Cheerilee... Oh! Speaking of friends, how's Dad doing?"
It was Cheerilee's turn to blink then, and, a moment later, a genuine smile lit up her face.
"He's doing fine, last I asked... I suppose I'll get another chance to ask tonight, though - turns out your father's got a copy of the original Total Recall lying around, so he asked me if I'd like to come round tonight and watch it with him on that movie projector of yours."
Diamond took her turn to blink in surprise again, her smile growing a little smugger as her mind made a few leaps of logic about the reasons for her father inviting his friend over.
"I didn't know you liked action movies, Cheerilee," Diamond commented, deciding it was best to avoid the admittedly tempting route of teasing the mare about the less platonic implications of her visit.
The schoolteacher's smile morphed into a fillyish grin, and she jumped into the subject with an enthusiasm unusual even for her. "Oh, I love action movies! I grew up on them - my mother's fault, that was - and I like to see whatever new one's out whenever I get the chance. Of course, most of the new ones don't quite measure up to the classics, but I'm sure it's only another time before we get another kick-flank one like they used to make!" Glancing around at the varying levels of surprise on the fillies' faces, she coughed embarrassedly in to her hoof, her grin turning sheepish. "Ahem... Sorry about that, I get a bit carried away sometimes."
"Nah," chirped Dinky, "Mummy told me you should never be ashamed of liking something, and she's right! It's really cool you have something to geek out about! Everypony does, really, no matter what they say about it."
Cheerilee smiled at Dinky's kind words, seeing a lot of the filly's mother - Cheerilee's friend - in the little unicorn. "Thank-you, Dinky! I'm glad you think so. Oh, and next time you see your mum, tell her I said hi!"
"Will do!" Dinky grinned, saluting her cheekily.
Chuckling at her student's antics, Cheerilee waited for the laugh to die down before facing the fillies with a more serious expression.
"As much as I've enjoyed chatting with you girls, I do need to get home and finish up some paperwork. Don't hang around school too long, okay?"
She backed a few steps away, flashing them a grin, before turning on her hooves and trotting quickly away, her saddlebags brimming fit to burst with papers. Outside her empty office, the trio of fillies simply stood there for a moment, watching their teacher leave with smiles on their faces. Once she was out of earshot Twist turned to her companions with an expression of subdued awe.
"Wow! I didn't know you two knew Mith Cheerilee tho well." She frowned, scrunching her nose slightly. "It'th a bit weird, actually."
Dinky shrugged. "Not really; Mummy and Cheerilee have been friends since before I was born - she's actually my godmother, if you can imagine that! I sort of grew up having her stop by every week or so, so she's been a friend to me longer than a teacher."
Twist's awe-filled expression returned. "Whoa! That'th actually pretty cool. What about you, Diamond? Have your dad and Mith Cheerilee been friendth for long?"
Diamond laughed. "Nope, they've been friends for about a week. Apparently me punching Silver Spoon in the face made for a good bonding topic..." Her expression turned pensive. " You know, I joke, but that might actually be how they became friends."
"Oh," said Twist, after a moment. "That'th still pretty cool."
Silence fell, and the fillies stood under its blanket comfortably, until the nagging thought of Auburn tugged Diamond's mind back to the real world, and the time. Glancing up at the nearby clock and gasping in alarm, Diamond turned to her friends to usher them forwards.
"Come on, you two, we'd better go. We've kept Auburn waiting long enough."
A murmur of agreement issued from the other fillies and together, the three friends trotted quickly towards the exit. A strange haste overcame Diamond as she made to leave, imbuing her movements with an almost feverish energy and her mind with a wish to be elsewhere: now began her free time, and there was a certain somepony she'd been dying to see all day. Inside her head, Diamond's thoughts turned to one particular long-maned pegasus and the hospital in which she waited for her. Recalling their parting conversation the previous day, Diamond grinned, before setting her mouth in a determined line. Moving on with purpose, Diamond felt her heart beat a little faster - there was a princess trapped in that hospital, and who better to save her than this brave knight?
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I have this feeling in my gut, and I hope I'm wrong about it... but I just feel like at some point Scootaloo is going to start attacking Diamond Tiara...
Which, while that would have satisfied me 4 weeks ago (since, just before Crusaders of the Lost Mark aired, I still hated DT, and really wanted her to get some major comeuppance. But, despite her being one of my favorite characters now, I still want to hear her outwardly say something along the lines of "I'm sorry for how I treated you. Especially you, Scootaloo.") (And I know that wanting DT to get hurt even when she was still a bully was not a good feeling to have, which is one of several reasons why I love CotLM (since now I have a more appropriate target for my hatred), but that WAS how I felt at the time), now just fills me with an odd sense of dread.
Alright, I completely forgot. What are the CMC fighting about again?I tried to go back chapters but couldn't find it. You made Scootaloo out to be forgiving and willing to accept Diamonds apology, while you also had Sweetie agree with her somewhat. It sounds like something to do with Sweetie taking major issue with Rainbow Dash for some reason and completely no longer caring about Scootaloo's feelings. I can see how something like that could happen to such a grand degree, but at the same time I'm not seeing it b/c I either forgot and failed at finding that scene, or you didn't make a scene for it yet and plan on using it as a flashback.
I feel like saying this but there comes a point when something is over described/explained/reasoned. For example, 'Applebloom: Transform and Roll Out! ' By Dusty the Royal Janitor has a great set up for an emotional moment in chapter 10. However, he decided to beat that emotion down by re-explaining the situation and beat it down even more by making the characters too rational with reasoning by that over explaining. It's still one of my favorite fanfics, as even after that, it was still somewhat emotional by the setup alone. I'm setting up my own emotional role-coaster for my own fiction... Sadly I don't have the same kind of vocab and far more grammar problems.
Anyways can't wait to see you have planned. It looks and sounds pretty bitter, what you have planned, if your authors note is anything to go by.
Maybe I just don't remember previous chapters very well, but at this point I can't really remember what happened to get to this point, with Scootaloo and the other CMC basically devolving into Diamond as she in turn gets better. In a lot of ways, I feel like this fic would have been better served if it had ended a few chapters ago and not gotten lost in all these sub-plots involving characters not even addressed by the main premise of the fic.
Holy shit.
Like. What the hell happened between Scoots and Sweetie to get to this? I'm still reading. And wow change a few minor details and gotta say that fighting with your friends is one of the shittiest feelings when you got bonds as tight as what they seemed to have. But damn. I had to pause and react to this whole scene, cause, damn. Poor Scoots. Poor Sweetie. And damn, why Apple Bloom, Scoots? She was just trying to help you Scoots. D:
I can get why Scoots would blow up, Sweetie done said stuff that even Silver Spoon would grimace at, maybe, okay not THIS Silver Spoon... anyways, damn. That was low Sweetie... but Scoots? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? I'd be in TEARS if I saw myself hurt my best friend that way. Fucking tears! As you are now, I suppose. You went too far. Can't say I haven't felt that level of hurt and rage before, but it's SWEETIE BELLE! She cries over most everything! Baseball to the EYE??? You're lucky if you don't end up in Juvi let alone expelled from school! What will Rainbow Dash think of all this?
Wow. If this is Scoots retelling Diamond what happened. Wow. This intro stuff is like a bat to the face. Holy hell. I need a minute. Well, gonna go back to reading. But WOW. What the BUCK Scoots?
Shit. I don't mean to use swears, this is mostly expressing my shock. I have no proper words for what just happened with these fillies. Well, I wanted more drama in the story between the adorable fluffy chapters, but wow. I certainly got what I wished for, huh?
I need some a Drink. Not at all what I expected. Didn't know what to expect, but certainly not this. lol I need me some cereal or some OJ. Going into this on an empty stomach was a mistake. Damn good opening. Though I agree that maybe your story description could use some updating if Silver Spoon is going to remain out of the picture. Drama fucking tag EARNED. Thriller? I'm quaking in my boots. xD
Good stuff. But yeah, reminds me of the drama from the really early chapters. Well, I think I mostly got all that out my system now. Fuck I'm thirsty.
6609431 That story had a really nice premise, but for similar reasons like that I just couldn't really enjoy that story as much as I wanted to.
Far as this story goes, yeah, earlier chapters never explained outright what the core problems festering amongst the CMC. And it seems to have festered like a really nasty boil on a plagued rat. But yeah, gonna continue reading once I finish this bowl of cereal. Man, that was intense.
lol I so needed this after all that. xD
Loved the talk about that painting. So cute. Dang, Auburn. No one's trying to ignore you.
Legend of the Three Kingdoms. Oh lords. xD
Gawd daggit, Twist. lol
Aww... Poor Auburn. ;~;
Well, that was refreshing. The rest of this chapter just went heavenly with my bowl of Trix cereal. xD
Damn, you're pretty good with capturing the genuine aspects of emotions. You're certainly not pulling any punches this time around!
I've missed little Auburn. Poor thing. Copper and DT are cute, but it's damn nice to see Auburn get a little recognition (yes, I'm quite aware of the irony in what I just said.
) so I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
You know, it's funny. You've essentially written the whole "Helping Others" cutie mark plot, in a way, before the show made that a thing for the CMC but for joint purpose in life on the show. Queue Twilight Zone theme music.
Fun yet traumatizing chapter. Thanks! XD
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Honestly, I was expecting this kind of response. As Telaros mentioned, I haven't ever shown why the CMC are fighting, which is mainly because Diamond is the focus, and the troubles of the CMC were not (up to now) relevant to her. After the CMC helped her explain herself, they made it very clear they didn't want much more to do with her, and she's respected that by keeping away from them - the building-up of their inner conflict was completely missed by her because she's generally been nowhere near them, so showing them falling out would have detached the story from its main character.
Now, I've shown you this despite Diamond not seeing it herself, for two reasons:
1 - Diamond has developed a deep interest and a sort of duty towards finding out what's wrong with Scootaloo and by extension the CMC, hence making this directly relevant to her even if she hasn't seen it.
2 - Something like this is going to be the talk of the school, and probably the village, very soon. This is the inseparable Cutie Mark Crusaders, fighting not with words or hooves but with baseball bats. Even if she hasn't seen it, Diamond is going to find out all the details from her classmates, and Sweetie Belle is most certainly going to use the attention to tell her side of the story.
There is a method to my madness, trust me. I've kept you (and Diamond) in the dark about this because the intention was always to have Diamond play detective and piece together what's happened as you (the readers) do. If she'd seen everything develop (not likely, since this is both a very internal and very long-running issue in the CMC) then it would be very cut-and-dry and she'd probably already have made judgements on who's most to blame. The way things are, she's going to have to talk to all of the CMC to find out what's happened and each one of them is going to have their moment to gain sympathy, which will make it harder for Diamond to take sides in the end, and make this more of a meaningful arc both for the CMC and for her. The deeper point I'm trying to make with this arc, expressed through each of the CMC, is that ponies, like people, aren't perfect and can in fact be deeply flawed creatures. Every single one of the CMC has some of the blame for what's happened, and none of them are going to be the cut-and-dry good/bad guy in this scenario. Friendship is messy, and fights with friends messier still, which is a large part of what I'm trying to put across with this arc.
I do suppose I owe you a little explanation, though. The root of the CMC's problems started in simple good-natured rivalry, sort of a 'my sister's best' 'no, mine is!' thing, and grew (quite slowly, I might add) from there. This is a problem which started a long time ago, and has only reached this stage because it's never been properly dealt with, just fought over momentarily and then pushed aside to concentrate on the bigger problem of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon; now that Spoon's gone and DT's redeemed, they have had no distraction to stop them fighting over this, and they've got the bitterness and residual anger of all their previous, unresolved arguments fueling the fire. An important thing to realise is that all of these fillies are in their early teenage years and right smack bang in the middle of puberty; not only are they a stubborn bunch in the first place (they had to be, to keep up the CMC stuff even in the face of SS+DT's mockery and their own repeated failures) but they're also in that period where their hormones are all over the place, as are their emotions. There's a whole host of factors which have built this rather petty disagreement into the friendship-ending argument it's become, some of which are the CMC's own personal flaws. Their perceived problems with one another are all, to some extent, true: Scootaloo has been emulating Dash, and not in the best way, Sweetie has been prone to thinking herself superior from time to time, and Bloom's been trying to take both sides at once, which we've just seen hasn't worked at all - if anything, she's only managed to get both Sweetie and Scootaloo mad at her for the same reason.
Everything will be explored in more detail, and I will endeavour to cover any areas you have concern over, in future chapters. This arc marks the middle of the story, and this is the big crisis to drive this part forwards, much like the opening of the story did up to this point. I'm sure you remember how the story calmed down after a few chapters, and the same intention goes with this arc - rest assured that this will not all be dark drama, and in fact I've got a lot of fluff planned for the near future to balance things out. Things will be better from here on out, both in terms of me balancing the story's tone and for the CMC themselves.
Thanks for the comments, and for reading. Even if there was some contention over this chapter's mood and events, I'm glad I got the chance to talk things over with you all.
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As far as Silver Spoon and the story description goes, I did update it quite recently, and there is a very good reason Silver Spoon's part in it has not really diminished. Argent Gleam, likewise, was not a use-once-throw-away character. They'll be back, both of them, and quite soon actually. Despite her vanishing act, she is still the main antagonist, and rest assured I have a lot of things in mind for her in the near future. Of course, we've got to get the whole CMC/Lonely Auburn arc out of the way first, but Spoon'll be back soon.
Those two are sort of like the Terminator. They've already said their "I'll be back", and they're just gone for the moment whilst they fetch the metaphorical car to drive into the police station. To continue this odd little metaphor, I've yet to introduce the story's Kyle Reese (although minus the romance/pregnancy stuff, and the whole being a guy thing) and believe me, she and Silver are very closely linked.
So, yeah, there is a reason Spoon's still the big bad in the description, it's just that it'll be a while before it gets revealed.
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I have to respectfully disagree with your point about the sub-plots and where the story could have better ended. First of all, I'm not sure I myself could've ended it satisfactorily at the point it was previously at - perhaps you could, but I don't think I can, so I'm just writing the story the best way possible with my abilities. Additionally, regarding the main premise, that is nowhere near over and done with - Silver Spoon is not out of the picture, and she will be returning quite soon. She's the main antagonist of the story, and for more than just what she did at the start. She'll be back, and that's part of why I'm still writing - that part of the plot is far from finished. The sub-plots are both to keep things interesting until Spoon's inevitable return, and to grow Diamond as a character. I'm sorry you find them less relevant than you'd like, but they are here to stay.
Thanks for the comment, and I apologise that my writing has not quite lived up to your expectations. I do hope you'll keep reading, but in the case that you don't, no hard feelings. Thanks anyway.
6610283 I do enjoy me some awkward metaphors. ^^ Glad to see they've found a place again in the story's outline. No spoilers please, of course. :P
6610257 That makes since, like I said, I could see it happening. I kind of wish I didn't read most of that, but I couldn't help myself. Also don't pretend adults don't get into this same kind of stuff. Age has very little to do with how people handle things, experience and perspective is where it's at. All age does is provide someone with more time to gain such experiences, that doesn't mean they will. Perspective determines how the person might react to things. Hormones... I think that's more along the lines of someone having a new feelings forced upon them that they previously never had, and learning how to deal with them. Well I could probable put more thought in what I want to say about that subject, but I think you might get what I'm trying to say.
Anyways, thanks for the explanation.
At this point i feel this story is mistagged (heavy oc presence without said tag and silver spoon nowhere to be found) and has deviated from what the description has said that i can't even remember how we got from there to here
Call me messed up, but I enjoyed the shock value of the original's violence. I assume the revision has something to do with some new direction the story is going?
Apologies for being gone for so long btw, life got a bit, well, complicated.
On a certain level I'm a bit sad to see Sweetie got away without unharmed, that ball hitting her at least on her horn and possibly causing Sweetie to end up like a cripple with a cracked horn, for awhile, could have made for some cruel karmic justice I guess? But no, not important. Though I see Scootaloo isn't the one who gets the cutie mark this time around.
I'm not sure if the extra teasing Diamond got from Dink was expanded or not but that part still made me smile. Though the telephone part certainly felt new to add more Filthy Rich and foreshadowing? Show knows, my memory is foggy I'm afraid due to how long I've been away.
Whelp on to the other revised chapter and get ready to head out. Will comment again when I get the chance on the other chapters.
I will say that I hope Silver's return got expanded on as it was hard to follow if the pony she was with was against her or never was with her to begin with and genuinely wants to stop Silver. Then again I can't remember much since my first read.